how to treat a possible sub?

[jlust]

Long story short, I met a girl, who is a polar opposite of me, but nonetheless we have a date setup tomorrow. She wears lots of black, has tons of tattoos, and gives off a submissive feeling when she speaks to me on the phone.

I already am relatively firm with my women in bed, but how can I truly make her feel even more submissive. What are some "routines" that other doms here on the boards do, especially with someone they just met.

 

[blue kat]

When we've just met, I don't do anything. I talk to them and see how they respond to me. Gently try to find out what makes them tick. I don't try to make them more submissive to me. In my day to day life, I keep the Domme-ness on the back burner. When I'm on a date with a potential sub, I let it all hang out and see how they respond to me. If I have to manipulate or force a submissive person to respond to me, then we're not compatible in that way.

I know it's not the way some Dom/mes operate, but I've had pretty good success with it.

Once we get together, well, we do have some rituals designed to bring us closer together, but that's more of a training thing, and I rarely get into that on the first few dates.

 

[jlust]

Of course, I always respect a woman's boundaries, otherwise I wouldn't have any phone numbers now would I

Thanks for the tip though, I will keep it light hearted our first time together.

 

[SubNebGuy]

I agree. If she's submissive, or more accurately wants to be submissive to you, her body language will be a dead give away even if the conversation doesn't 'turn that direction' on the first date.

and even if she does like you but isn't a sub...we all like a little vanilla, even if our favorite is triple fudge chocolate with peanut cups

 

[Ebonyfire]

Remember that D/s is consentual, so it is always a good idea not to dominate anyone until you have the consent from them to do so. And even if they give consent on the first date, I find it wise not to. Get to know them first, find out what they are looking for, and if the two of you are compatible, then negotiate the boundaries of the relationship to suit both of you.

And don't forget to have fun! It shouldn't be a chore.

Eb

 

[SirFace]

Remember that D/s is consentual, so it is always a good idea not to dominate anyone until you have the consent from them to do so. And even if they give consent on the first date, I find it wise not to. Get to know them first, find out what they are looking for, and if the two of you are compatible, then negotiate the boundaries of the relationship to suit both of you.

And don't forget to have fun! It shouldn't be a chore.

Eb

Exactly like any first meeting.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Exactly like any first meeting.

But how many people who start conventional relationships bother to do it? Few I would guess.

Eb

 

[SirFace]

But how many people who start conventional relationships bother to do it? Few I would guess.

Eb

Maybe not explicitly, but I have always done those things when I meet someone. Well maybe not on the first meeting but eventually before it goes any farther.

 

[Ebonyfire]

Maybe not explicitly, but I have always done those things when I meet someone. Well maybe not on the first meeting but eventually before it goes any farther.

I never did, but I was pretending to be a "normal" woman.

Eb

 

[Etoile]

Remember that D/s is consentual, so it is always a good idea not to dominate anyone until you have the consent from them to do so./QUOTE]
Simply stated, and simply brilliant. It's good to have you back, Eb.

 

[shy slave]

I am with Eb and Sirface on this one.

She may be submissive, but, at the moment she is not your submissive

 

[JMohegan]

Long story short, I met a girl, who is a polar opposite of me, but nonetheless we have a date setup tomorrow. She wears lots of black, has tons of tattoos, and gives off a submissive feeling when she speaks to me on the phone.

I already am relatively firm with my women in bed, but how can I truly make her feel even more submissive. What are some "routines" that other doms here on the boards do, especially with someone they just met.

Chuckling over the inference that black clothing and tattoos have anything to do with submissiveness, and hoping that's not what you meant to imply!

Addressing your questions in reverse order - even if I am considering whether to extend an offer of a potential Dom/sub relationship to a woman, the first few dates are still just going to be all about getting to know each other.

I want to know if we click (in the old-fashioned boy/girl way) before I'm even going to begin to address lifestyle issues.

As for how to make a woman feel more submissive to you, the answer is simple to outline but impossible to prescribe for another human being. The more she trusts, desires, and just plain old likes you, the more she will want to please you. This is not gonna happen in one date, no matter what you do.

 

[DesJanNanAnn]

we will tell you

Moderator edit:Annoying dweebs aren't you?...take your spam elsewhere.

Catalina

 

[saw_man1]

Thank you Cat

Annoying dweebs aren't you?...take your spam elsewhere.

The power of the Moderator is absolute!

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Annoying dweebs aren't you?...take your spam elsewhere.

Take _OUR_ spam elsewhere?

Uhhhh.. hellooooo... you're the one going around trolling for hook-ups and laying your personal information out on the board for everyone and everyone to see. You're going to get a moderator posted on you permanently just to clean up the messes you leave behind.

Sheeeesh. And you have the audacity to call _US_ annoying dweebs? Ms Pot... meet Mr Kettle. Mr Kettle, Ms Pot

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Long story short, I met a girl, who is a polar opposite of me, but nonetheless we have a date setup tomorrow. She wears lots of black, has tons of tattoos, and gives off a submissive feeling when she speaks to me on the phone.

I already am relatively firm with my women in bed, but how can I truly make her feel even more submissive. What are some "routines" that other doms here on the boards do, especially with someone they just met.

Sorry for the mini-hijack previously...

With someone I've just met?? I don't _do_ anything to "make her feel more submissive". I am myself, we converse, I listen to her, hopefully she is listening to me. I work on establishing myself in _her_ eyes as someone trustworthy, interesting, exciting. Someone with integrity, experience, and character. IF we develop a rapport, a connection, if she feels safe enough, if she finds herself trusting me to the point she is interested in submitting to me, she will. If not, she won't.

You will inspire submission in her or not, based on the content of your character, who you are and how you treat her, not by trying to perform some canned "routine" that's guaranteed to pick up submissives.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Take _OUR_ spam elsewhere?

Uhhhh.. hellooooo... you're the one going around trolling for hook-ups and laying your personal information out on the board for everyone and everyone to see. You're going to get a moderator posted on you permanently just to clean up the messes you leave behind.

Sheeeesh. And you have the audacity to call _US_ annoying dweebs? Ms Pot... meet Mr Kettle. Mr Kettle, Ms Pot

lol, sorry, I posted that for them...heat has addled my bain so I forgot to sign it was moi...they are dweebs.

Catalina

 

[Etoile]

Take _OUR_ spam elsewhere?

Uhhhh.. hellooooo... you're the one going around trolling for hook-ups and laying your personal information out on the board for everyone and everyone to see. You're going to get a moderator posted on you permanently just to clean up the messes you leave behind.

Sheeeesh. And you have the audacity to call _US_ annoying dweebs? Ms Pot... meet Mr Kettle. Mr Kettle, Ms Pot

Methinks you missed the "edited by" line!

I have the unedited post in my email trash from the email notification...it had some phone numbers. I wonder who they are...but not enough to want to call them!