how to play the "game"?

What would they teach, and how would they teach it?

I'm going to scream if I have to give 20 year olds pussy licking lessons in the coming socialist utopia. Even if it came with free health care, I'd pass.
 
right i seem to have painted him in the wrong way here without meaning to,, its not him who has the problem with communication its me, i have a problem with listening which you probably realise by now lol

He is not of my parents generation fgs my mum is 78 !! im the youngest :D i am 39 and my man is 46 so not a big difference, but even though ive been with more than a few men it was very much plain sex. I have always been quite sly and had my fun on my own until i met my man now, and we know we are a match as in we both want the same things, we have the same kind of sexual ideas and thoughts about what we would do and our limits.

i have been with him for 4 years, we love each other very much in fact we just got engaged, we have bonded more since he found out that im not the shy virginal person i made out i was.

i have (hopefully) taken in all you have told me now and its up to me to make it happen. i just need the confidence to do it and not feel stupid or whatever. He has explained to me exactly the way you have adakgirl. its making that all happen that i dont have the confidence in. its not that i dont want to do it, i do and not just for him but for me, cos i love the thrill of it all if i could just damn well do the bleedin thing:mad: im so pissed at myself for making something that seems so easy feel so hard!

im gonna have a go at it, i know that even if i try and get it wrong at least he'll know i tried :)

ive kept adding bits to this post i hope it makes sense lol

thanks again for your advice xx

This part here is why B and i work as M/s. As He puts it, he makes me do what i want to do. I would be hesitant to try something i want to do, but when B hears of it and orders me to do it i snap to and get it done.
 
I'm going to scream if I have to give 20 year olds pussy licking lessons in the coming socialist utopia. Even if it came with free health care, I'd pass.

I'm pretty sure, when Simon proposed having older mentors for young people just coming into their sexuality, that he had ancient Greece in mind. In that culture, older men formed mentor-protegé relationships with boys who were just past puberty, and they taught them many things, not just sex. I'm pretty sure being a mentor was voluntary, not obligatory, so you won't be saddled with some 18-year-old virgin to teach if you didn't want one. ;)


(No, I know the protegés in ancient Greece were under eighteen, but we're on Literotica.)
 
my advice would be to get an online playmate on the sly. Just start by flirting. Eventually you may end up having hot conversations with the same person a lot and then who knows... When he walks in the room close the window or shut off the monitor. Don't tell him what you are up too and don't "let" him watch but do do things like "forget" to purge your history or delete chat logs or photos of your naughty bits.

A secret pic thread here on Lit might be a good way to start actually. He'll wonder why is she buying new lingerie but then not using to seduce me. Leave a crumb occasionally possibly working up to accidentally leaving your username and password somewhere he can find it.

Just my opinion but i think he gets off on the idea you may do things without his approval\consent and yeah... to pre negotiate it is probably going to wreck it for him but if you start small and take baby steps you will know if you are getting close to some line he can't handle.

Also you need to find something\someone that YOU enjoy!!! Stop making it about him. His voyeurism needs being fulfilled need only really be incidental.
 
I certainly agree that young people don't need "middle-aged" mentors, but I think mentors just a few years older might be a good idea. New university students are often assigned second-year university students as mentors -- sophomores have learned a lot in the past year, so they can be useful, but they're also close enough to being freshmen themselves to remember what it was that they wished they'd known when they started. Simon is 53, and with all due respect to middle-aged male fantasies (i.e., none ;)), I don't think any 18-year-old needs someone middle-aged to show him or her the ropes. I do think, though, that it might benefit 20-year-olds to learn from 30-year-olds.

Of course, if we lived in the kind of society where each new adult was assigned a sex mentor, we probably woudn't need sex mentors to begin with.




That would be nice. Maybe next year. ;)

I'm pretty sure, when Simon proposed having older mentors for young people just coming into their sexuality, that he had ancient Greece in mind. In that culture, older men formed mentor-protegé relationships with boys who were just past puberty, and they taught them many things, not just sex. I'm pretty sure being a mentor was voluntary, not obligatory, so you won't be saddled with some 18-year-old virgin to teach if you didn't want one. ;)


(No, I know the protegés in ancient Greece were under eighteen, but we're on Literotica.)
I was asking about your idea, not Simon's.

At 20, with a 30 year old mentor, what would I have been taught, and how would I have been taught it? I'm trying to understand what you are suggesting.
 
my advice would be to get an online playmate on the sly. Just start by flirting. Eventually you may end up having hot conversations with the same person a lot and then who knows... When he walks in the room close the window or shut off the monitor. Don't tell him what you are up too and don't "let" him watch but do do things like "forget" to purge your history or delete chat logs or photos of your naughty bits.

A secret pic thread here on Lit might be a good way to start actually. He'll wonder why is she buying new lingerie but then not using to seduce me. Leave a crumb occasionally possibly working up to accidentally leaving your username and password somewhere he can find it.

Just my opinion but i think he gets off on the idea you may do things without his approval\consent and yeah... to pre negotiate it is probably going to wreck it for him but if you start small and take baby steps you will know if you are getting close to some line he can't handle.

Also you need to find something\someone that YOU enjoy!!! Stop making it about him. His voyeurism needs being fulfilled need only really be incidental.

this is good advice, pinky love. My husband and I play this kind of game. I had a hard time in the beginning because I was a) shy and insecure, b) worried about ruining our relationship, c) worried about what it all meant etc. etc. My worries and insecurities were a huge stumbling block.

It helped when he became my master, but it can also be very hard to act on your own submissive desires towards your partner, and then initiate sexual activity with other people. If your boyfriend is like my husband, he doesn't want you to do exactly what he tells you to do, he wants to be surprised by your desires.

It took me a while to integrate my desire to submit to him and his desire for me to seek out other sexual partners, even though it sounds like an easy fit.

I did the kind of things ataxia.girl described, using the internet to flirt and make contact with people, and then teasing him with my email histories and phone sex. It works. And it gives you an opportunity to build what you're already comfortable with, the stuff you do while he's at work, into something that you can ultimately share with him. . . later.

Though I did eventually build relationships with a number of play partners, I also found that I don't have to do much to set his imagination going. And he often likes where his imagination takes him more than my actual shenanigans.
 
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