How to NOT to approach a lady, anywhere, ever!

[jameslewis]

There's an awful lot of thread space advising men how to message; but with the exception of Ihateclowns' sensitive male thread, there seems to be a serious shortage of advice for the ladies.

 

[LadyVer]

This thread may have been better suited to the How To forum. Personally, I think it's a lot to expect that all men, or women, are going to be thinking with their brains on an erotica forum. Or that everyone here cares about manners or respect. Given the nature of the stories that are published on Lit, the forums, and the threads--despite this being 2015--women still have to put up with a lot of frogs who think because a woman is on a erotica site it means she's open to anything, from anyone.

The ignore feature is a good option, as well as not responding to people whose pm's are offensive. Unless they're over the line and are threatening. Then they can be reported to Laurel.

 

[Cicca_Jai]

Doing it wrong

One of the emails I got tonight.

"??
Like it in the ass?"


Really dude?

FAIL!

 

[EnglishChap6687]

One of the emails I got tonight.

"??
Like it in the ass?"


Really dude?

FAIL!

You'd think he could have asked 'how are you, babe?' first at least...

 

[janeyl]

One of the emails I got tonight.

"??
Like it in the ass?"


Really dude?

FAIL!

My answer to that one is always...giving or receiving? Usually sorts the men from the boys...

 

[janeyl]

This thread may have been better suited to the How To forum. Personally, I think it's a lot to expect that all men, or women, are going to be thinking with their brains on an erotica forum. Or that everyone here cares about manners or respect. Given the nature of the stories that are published on Lit, the forums, and the threads--despite this being 2015--women still have to put up with a lot of frogs who think because a woman is on a erotica site it means she's open to anything, from anyone.

The ignore feature is a good option, as well as not responding to people whose pm's are offensive. Unless they're over the line and are threatening. Then they can be reported to Laurel.

Buddy list is your friend...

 

[Cicca_Jai]

You'd think he could have asked 'how are you, babe?' first at least...

Right, but, again this is why thread stalking is so important.
I have been very open about some very personal things and WHY I do not take kindly to these types of things.

I hope he chokes on his tongue.

 

[vibes]

This thread - like the other one, Cicca - is about a shameful and undeniable reality of how some men think they can approach women in general with a light touch of stinging irony that brings more than a sour smile ... very enjoyable

This thread may have been better suited to the How To forum. Personally, I think it's a lot to expect that all men, or women, are going to be thinking with their brains on an erotica forum. Or that everyone here cares about manners or respect. Given the nature of the stories that are published on Lit, the forums, and the threads--despite this being 2015--women still have to put up with a lot of frogs who think because a woman is on a erotica site it means she's open to anything, from anyone.

The ignore feature is a good option, as well as not responding to people whose pm's are offensive. Unless they're over the line and are threatening. Then they can be reported to Laurel.

I particularly appreciate what LadyVer said above

Truth to be told, after more than 10 years on Lit and 48 around this world a lot could be said about how some women think they can behave, in general, and towards men, in particular, but two wrongs don't make one right and certainly don't justify each other

 

[Everyday_Man]

Actually, it's a numbers game really ... if the guy sending the email is looking for a very specific kind of woman, you know, the kind that likes anal and will tell you it over a first time email, eventually he'll find the one who says, 'Yes, it's you're lucky day, I do!' (exclamations needed, because she will be very enthusiastic).

1 out of a 100? 1 out of a thousand? ... I don't know the odds, but I bet that 1 yes & whatever dirty things follow allow the man to spend less time investing in a woman as a 'maybe' and lets him get right down to business.


Oh, and that anal question over email should really be saved for dinner conversation. If she says, 'yes!' then the night can continue, otherwise the guy can say, "You know, I really need to get up early tomorrow and oh, I forgot my wallet, you can cover dinner, right?"

 

[vibes]

Actually, it's a numbers game really ... if the guy sending the email is looking for a very specific kind of woman, you know, the kind that likes anal and will tell you it over a first time email, eventually he'll find the one who says, 'Yes, it's you're lucky day, I do!' (exclamations needed, because she will be very enthusiastic).

1 out of a 100? 1 out of a thousand? ... I don't know the odds, but I bet that 1 yes & whatever dirty things follow allow the man to spend lest time investing in a woman as a 'maybe' and lets him get right down to business.


Oh, and that anal question over email should really be saved for dinner conversation. If she says, 'yes!' then the night can continue, otherwise the guy can say, "You know, I really need to get up early tomorrow and oh, I forgot my wallet, you can cover dinner, right?"

Some of us are good at maths then!

 

[barefootgirl69]

Actually, it's a numbers game really ... if the guy sending the email is looking for a very specific kind of woman, you know, the kind that likes anal and will tell you it over a first time email, eventually he'll find the one who says, 'Yes, it's you're lucky day, I do!' (exclamations needed, because she will be very enthusiastic).

1 out of a 100? 1 out of a thousand? ... I don't know the odds, but I bet that 1 yes & whatever dirty things follow allow the man to spend less time investing in a woman as a 'maybe' and lets him get right down to business.


Oh, and that anal question over email should really be saved for dinner conversation. If she says, 'yes!' then the night can continue, otherwise the guy can say, "You know, I really need to get up early tomorrow and oh, I forgot my wallet, you can cover dinner, right?"

Ahhh, and here I thought it might be about TIME. He might be close, and looking for that special one to jump over that edge with him...

I never thought about numbers, but I don't like math. Lol...

 

[Cicca_Jai]

That is ok BFG. I hate math too. Which is why I have never sent out a PM unsolicited... ROFL

 

[ga_ghost]

This thread is so informative and entertaining I just can't stay away

 

[barefootgirl69]

This thread is so informative and entertaining I just can't stay away

We're here to help you, ghostie...then, you can quit lurking in shadows and manifest yourself properly in someone's inbox. And they won't have to call in Ghostbusters...and I won't have to sing that song...and, and...

 

[TheSilverLining]

There's an awful lot of thread space advising men how to message; but with the exception of Ihateclowns' sensitive male thread, there seems to be a serious shortage of advice for the ladies.

That's probably true. As others have pointed out, it's a numbers game. In the grand scheme of things, a (genuine) woman, looking to cyber-score on Lit has very little to do other than log-in.

For someone like me, I don't need the advice. I'm playing no games. If a bloke doesn't like me then I don't really give a fuck - I'm not looking for a virtual hook-up or any of that malarkey; I'm genuinely just here for the craic.

(and the cocksucking gifs)

 

[Cicca_Jai]

That's probably true. As others have pointed out, it's a numbers game. In the grand scheme of things, a (genuine) woman, looking to cyber-score on Lit has very little to do other than log-in.

For someone like me, I don't need the advice. I'm playing no games. If a bloke doesn't like me then I don't really give a fuck - I'm not looking for a virtual hook-up or any of that malarkey; I'm genuinely just here for the craic.

(and the cocksucking gifs)

LOL TSL

James: By all means feel free to inform us on y'alls POV.
Start a thread, let us learn from you as well.

 

[jameslewis]

LOL TSL

James: By all means feel free to inform us on y'alls POV.
Start a thread, let us learn from you as well.

I wouldn't presume to speak for most, or even many, other men. I know what I like; it may or may not fit with anyone else's views. I don't know if it would make any difference anyway. I'm not going to change my messaging based on what I read here; I doubt my words would have much effect on any ladies. It's interesting to hear what others like or dislike; that's as much as I would hope to take away from reading these threads.