How to make my wife orgasm?

[Shanes_OralOrations]

I second the cock sleeve idea. We use them sometimes. I'm big enough for my wife, but I'm not huge, and sometimes it's fun to be bigger. It doesn't take a lot to make a difference. It also greatly extends your stamina time. Even though the sensation is not the same (which is why you last longer), there is something deeply satisfying about plunging a "bigger than usual" cock in and out of my wife over and over again for a satisfyingly looooong time. We use it to bring out her multi-orgasmic nature with prolonged fucking, and when she's had enough, just whip it off and get my O in.

Since she's opened up enough about that I really think you guys have an opportunity to develop a new routine when you can both get what you need, which would hopefully re-ignite her desire for more frequent sex as it will get a lot more exciting for her.

As for the "betrayal" of faking it question, personally I think that's a bit over the top. It sounds to me like she realized early on that it was harder to cum with you than past partners, but liked you enough anyway that it didn't matter for her, and she stayed with you anyway. Unless she was very comfortable being open about sex (and frankly a lot of people just aren't) it wasn't something she had the tools to talk about, especially early in a relationship. At some point she started faking, probably out of a desire to make YOU feel good about your ability to make love to her. Yes, that's deceptive, but it's motivated by the right emotions, just without the best communication tools. It became a habit, and the longer you fake something, the harder it is to decide when and how the best time is to come clean. While in the end that wasn't healthy for the relationship, I'd label it more as a relationship and communication challenge than a betrayal.

 

[AG31]

I'm not a sexolog, a trained professional in the position to offer advice.
But faking pleasure/orgasms seem to me like a betrayal, especially if done over a long time. How can one recover from that? How will you be able to trust her with well... anything?

Definitely not necessarily a betrayal. Possibly an act of love if the wife is not able to tell him what to do differently.

 

[Britva415]

I'm glad she's talking

 

[EternityGhost14]

We watched some porn together last night, and she used her dildo on herself and showed me how she gets herself off. It felt like a huge step and she seems almost relieved now

 

[CumInMyWifemmf]

We watched some porn together last night, and she used her dildo on herself and showed me how she gets herself off. It felt like a huge step and she seems almost relieved now

Mine does the same to get off. Usually a thick realistic dildo watching porn as i lick her

 

[EternityGhost14]

Mine does the same to get off. Usually a thick realistic dildo watching porn as i lick her

It was a little bit humbling to see how quickly she can cum with it, but very hot regardless. Hers is a realistic one too.

 

[CumInMyWifemmf]

It was a little bit humbling to see how quickly she can cum with it, but very hot regardless. Hers is a realistic one too.

i agree. very humbling but hot to see them actually get off on a thick cock. I’ve learned that this is always her preference now a days

 

[EternityGhost14]

i agree. very humbling but hot to see them actually get off on a thick cock. I’ve learned that this is always her preference now a days

It’s now very clear how fake her orgasms really where before, now that I’ve seen a real one

 

[CumInMyWifemmf]

It’s now very clear how fake her orgasms really where before, now that I’ve seen a real one

same here and now i’m glad i can help her achieve a real one

 

[big_cane_sugar]

It sounds like things are on the way to getting better.

I can tell a story from my own life that might help you feel some optimism. When we'd been married about as long as you guys have, my wife and I had a such a huge fight that we were going to get divorced afterwards. She told me some very hurtful things at that time, and also made me aware of some things I'd been doing that hurt her that I hadn't realized. After a few days, we realized we didn't actually want to get divorced, and we worked on those things, and it was probably the best thing that ever happened in our marriage. My wife realized she could be more honest with me about things and we both realized how much we wanted to be together.

Probably any marriage that lasts has to have a big fight like that sometimes and maybe ten years from now you'll look back on this whole thing as one of the best things that has happened to you.

Good luck to you and her both!

 

[big_cane_sugar]

Also btw if she wants to be treated a little roughly, you might consider making a safe word and creating a scenario together for some role play where your role is to behave a way you normally wouldn't. You might be surprised how much you enjoy it too lol

 

[EternityGhost14]

Things have been going pretty well. We’ve watched quite a bit of porn and have done some role play with the dildo she has enjoyed.

 

[Boat1]

Recently, as in like 3 months ago, my wife let me in on the devastating news that she has been faking her orgasms with me for the entirety of our marriage. I was heartbroken by this, as I thought we had something good going.

To make matters worse, I probed into her past and she admitted that her previous partner didn’t have any issues “getting her there.” I’ve tried so hard to get to articulate the why here, but she basically refuses to elaborate and only shuts down when the topic is presented.

I’ve tried a lot of things, oral, etc, but she tends to prefer penetration which from what I understand is unusual. I also know she watches porn, I’ve seen her history before (she either doesnt try to hide it or she’s bad at it.)

Has anyone been in a similar scenario? For additional information, we are both mid 30s and have been married for about ten years.

Three words... Foreplay, Foreplay, Foreplay!
Show her your unfettered desire, spend days focusing on every inch of her body, from head to toe, except the "big three girl parts" and read her reactions, as treated properly, the entire body is an exogenous zone... since you know her porn preferences, consider having that on in the background.... just my 2 cents.
Best wishes!

 

[CumInMyWifemmf]

Just made mine orgasm last night with a rose clit sucker and a realistic 8” dildo. She came very quickly and loudly

 

[EternityGhost14]

Just made mine orgasm last night with a rose clit sucker and a realistic 8” dildo. She came very quickly and loudly

How girthy is the dildo?

 

[CumInMyWifemmf]

How girthy is the dildo?

probably about 2” wide

 

[oldishwoman]

Immediate response to "I don't want to push further and make her shut down further." I'm female and I have absolutely no patience for this. If you're with someone, and you're lying about what gives you pleasure, don't bitch at them when you don't get what you want.

I also question why she told you at this time. The faking has been working for however long you've been together. Why the revelation now? She's not talking. My guess, is that she doesn't want to talk. She told you probably as a way to end the relationship. You trying to fix it when she's already checked out is a losing endeavor.

I would suggest you get your own therapist to help you through whatever is going to happen. I really can't stand lying, and that is lying on a very deep level. And it's not fair to you as she's grumbling about not getting what she wants. She seems to be someone who hedges her bets. So my guess is she's already in another relationship, or sleeping with someone else.

She wants you to be the "bad guy," and break up with her. I would oblige her. Whatever you thought you had, you didn't. And you didn't have it, and you didn't know it, because she lied. Surround yourself with people who like you for you; people who value you. This is a big hit to anyone's ego, and it's going to take time to heal. Find someone who likes you, and the way you have sex. Unless you're into something way, way, out there, and there's not much that's way out there anymore, you can find someone. I do think a therapist is crucial as you work through this. Good luck.

And for those who think I'm being really harsh, here's the deal. It's my understanding that this wasn't faking one time. This has been going on for what over 2 or 3 years? That's a choice that was made over and over and over again. It's a fucked up manipulation. A lot of women have been taught, or picked up that that's okay. It's not okay. The guy that's been lied to deserves to have a sexual partner who enjoys him, the same way she deserves to have a partner that pleases her. And neither can happen if one person is lying about what they like sexually. If it's a mismatch, it's a mismatch.