How To Kill A Date In Four Words...

[Guest]

My nickname? Praying Mantis.
.

 

[Guest]

the scars will heal

 

[Guest]

it wont leave marks

 

[Guest]

I have a penis

or alternatively

I have a vagina

 

[Guest]

I love country music

 

[Guest]

this is my husband

 

[Guest]

you thought i'm gay??

 

[Guest]

Hannibal Lector, my hero!

 

[Guest]

Lorraine Bobbit, my hero!

 

[Aurora Black]

I've got candy on the brain...

Skittles, the new Altoids.

Lollipop. Up your ass.

Spank me with licorice!

 

[Aurora Black]

The madness continues...

Melted chocolate? Good lube!

 

[glynndah]

My wife doesn't understand

or

My wife will understand

 

[zeb1094]

My wife will watch!

 

[logophile]

BUMP!!

I was just reading through my old threads and came up with this one.
OH my - laughing so hard I'm crying over here!

 

[shereads]

"Luke, I'm your father."

 

[logophile]

Here, put this on.

 

[glynndah]

"Well, not exactly fat..."

 

[Xelebes]

Do you like musicals?

 

[shereads]

"Want to watch Spiderman?"

 

[DesertPirate]

will the defendant rise!

 

[ms.read]

Rape! That's it's name?

 

[logophile]

G-spot? No such thing!

 

[glynndah]

My parole officer says...

 

[drksideofthemoon]

Looking at the ringing cell phone. "Damn, it's my husband."

 

[VALIDIUS]

"what was your name?"

"whaddya mean no anal?"

"your mom is hot"

"me drunk, you pretty" (yes i actually said this, i got my face slapped and deservedly so!)

"im drunk. sex now?" (this one too. i rarely drink anymore.)

ooh...thinking of a new thread now! drunk confessions! or is that an old one?