How to introduce BDSM to a "good girl"

[ShyVixen]

PM EnglishLady (or check out her sig... I think there are links to her work there as Victoria Bisset?. She writes erotica which I think sometimes has a BDSM bent to it, plus she's a practicing christian which might give your wife some comfort that it's not anything really terrible

EL writes as Victoria Blisse. I had the fortunate chance to conduct a book signing with her and her work is very good. It might be a good way to introduce some BDSM themes to her

 

[FreakMyWhatNow]

Wooo!

Hazzah!!!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

....While we were out shopping this afternoon, I bought some grapes and suggested to my wife that we play a variation of the game. In my version, she has to specify, whilst blindfolded, whether I've just fed her a green grape or a red one. If she gets the answer right, then she gets a kiss; if she gets it wrong, then she receives a spank. I was delighted that my wife latched on straight away and with some glee to the idea that either of us could cheat: I might lie about the correct answer in order to get the outcome that I want; and, perhaps significantly, my wife suggested that she might deliberately give the wrong answer in order to get spanked.

OutSTANding! I "latched on ... to the idea that either of us could cheat" before I *got* to that point in your post, LOL, and had delicious thoughts about it... Y'all seem to be doin' just GREAT!

Oh... I think things are looking up! Many thanks to everyone who has contributed suggestions in this thread. I'd be happy to report further progress on here if it's of any interest to people.

If anything I said might have been of help, you're more than welcome, and we'd LOVE to hear more!

 

[Jaded_One]

Wow!!

Omg... yes.. please keep us updated... with, ummm.. as much detail as previous posts

Now, I believe a trip to the produce aisle is in order.... (will never look at grapes again without thinking of this!)

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

YEEEEEEEEEES! You are the ruler of all you survey! You stroll the earth like a colossus!

Nice. Very nice.

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Rock on wit your bad self.

It is gratifying to see you get to take the journey you have ache for...

 

[Mindfondler]

Thanks to NomadLady, FreakMyWhatNow, Sir_Winston54, Jaded_One, DeepGreenEyes and MasterPhoenix for your congratulations. I'm delighted with the way that things are going.

Omg... yes.. please keep us updated... with, ummm.. as much detail as previous posts

Oooh... you like to hear all the details, do you? Your wish is my command!

We played the refrigerator game yesterday evening. I told my wife to get changed into her nightie (only) and to kneel down on the floor so that I could easily feed her, kiss her or spank her as appropriate. I then blindfolded her tightly and told her to stay there while I made other preparations. She obeyed.

I told my wife that we needed to practise the rewards and punishments before we began. I started by giving her a passionate kiss, which she seemed to find particularly sensual while she was blindfolded. Unknowingly to her, I then produced a riding crop. I delivered a swift spank to each of my wife's ass cheeks. She jumped in surprise but didn't complain.

I then started feeding grapes to my wife. The first one, a red grape, was incorrectly identified by her as a white one, leading to a swift slap from the riding crop after misleading my wife into believing that a kiss would be forthcoming. Once again, she took her punishment without any objection.

My wife then had a string of good guesses as I fed her more grapes, berries, seeds, and some liquid foodstuffs on a spoon. Whilst I enjoyed giving her the kisses, I felt that the game was becoming too easy and so I became more strict with the answers, introducing a time out period for each item (with an automatic spank from the crop if she didn't answer within that time) and deeming as incorrect answers such as "maple syrup" for plain syrup and "yoghurt" for Greek yoghurt (mean, eh?). Soon I had upped the spanking quota to match the kissing allocation.

I then started to spank and kiss my wife more gratuitously, taking advantage of her blindfolded state to make each event a surprise. I moved on from her ass cheeks and started to spank the outside of my wife's thighs and the sides of her tummy (gently) to see her reaction. Once again, she didn't object. I then stroked her inner thighs with the crop, and moved it upwards to rest gently on her pussy.

At this point, I decided to release my wife. I whispered into her ear that she was a very good girl and took off her blindfold. She didn't look at all unhappy with me. In fact, she grinned. "Good!", I thought. Then she snatched the riding crop off me and grinned even more widely.

In the final part of our activity, my wife chased me around the house with the crop until she finally caught me and delivered a succession of huge whacks to my backside. I grappled the crop back off her and reciprocated with gusto. We continued for a while back and forth in this manner until we eventually agreed a truce.

You're probably going to expect me to say that we went on and had great sex afterwards, but we didn't. We both seemed contented enough that it was sufficient for us just to cuddle up together in bed and go quickly to sleep.

I reflected afterwards that, if I'd asked my wife beforehand for permission to spank her with a riding crop, there's no way that she'd ever have agreed. She'd have regarded the idea as pervy and not "something she does". As you can see from my description, though, she certainly didn't seem to mind it once we got going. Just to reinforce this further, I was the unexpected recipient this morning of a smart slap on the bum from my wife's hand. She grinned again as she did it.

 

[NomadLady]

Thanks to NomadLady, FreakMyWhatNow, Sir_Winston54, Jaded_One, DeepGreenEyes and MasterPhoenix for your congratulations. I'm delighted with the way that things are going.


Oooh... you like to hear all the details, do you? Your wish is my command!

We played the refrigerator game yesterday evening. I told my wife to get changed into her nightie (only) and to kneel down on the floor so that I could easily feed her, kiss her or spank her as appropriate. I then blindfolded her tightly and told her to stay there while I made other preparations. She obeyed.

I told my wife that we needed to practise the rewards and punishments before we began. I started by giving her a passionate kiss, which she seemed to find particularly sensual while she was blindfolded. Unknowingly to her, I then produced a riding crop. I delivered a swift spank to each of my wife's ass cheeks. She jumped in surprise but didn't complain.

I then started feeding grapes to my wife. The first one, a red grape, was incorrectly identified by her as a white one, leading to a swift slap from the riding crop after misleading my wife into believing that a kiss would be forthcoming. Once again, she took her punishment without any objection.

My wife then had a string of good guesses as I fed her more grapes, berries, seeds, and some liquid foodstuffs on a spoon. Whilst I enjoyed giving her the kisses, I felt that the game was becoming too easy and so I became more strict with the answers, introducing a time out period for each item (with an automatic spank from the crop if she didn't answer within that time) and deeming as incorrect answers such as "maple syrup" for plain syrup and "yoghurt" for Greek yoghurt (mean, eh?). Soon I had upped the spanking quota to match the kissing allocation.

I then started to spank and kiss my wife more gratuitously, taking advantage of her blindfolded state to make each event a surprise. I moved on from her ass cheeks and started to spank the outside of my wife's thighs and the sides of her tummy (gently) to see her reaction. Once again, she didn't object. I then stroked her inner thighs with the crop, and moved it upwards to rest gently on her pussy.

At this point, I decided to release my wife. I whispered into her ear that she was a very good girl and took off her blindfold. She didn't look at all unhappy with me. In fact, she grinned. "Good!", I thought. Then she snatched the riding crop off me and grinned even more widely.

In the final part of our activity, my wife chased me around the house with the crop until she finally caught me and delivered a succession of huge whacks to my backside. I grappled the crop back off her and reciprocated with gusto. We continued for a while back and forth in this manner until we eventually agreed a truce.

You're probably going to expect me to say that we went on and had great sex afterwards, but we didn't. We both seemed contented enough that it was sufficient for us just to cuddle up together in bed and go quickly to sleep.

I reflected afterwards that, if I'd asked my wife beforehand for permission to spank her with a riding crop, there's no way that she'd ever have agreed. She'd have regarded the idea as pervy and not "something she does". As you can see from my description, though, she certainly didn't seem to mind it once we got going. Just to reinforce this further, I was the unexpected recipient this morning of a smart slap on the bum from my wife's hand. She grinned again as she did it.

Wow, you too are having a GREAT time it seems!!! Congrats again and you are definately being rewarded for your consideration, patience and persistance!!!!!

 

[NomadLady]

Thanks to NomadLady, FreakMyWhatNow, Sir_Winston54, Jaded_One, DeepGreenEyes and MasterPhoenix for your congratulations. I'm delighted with the way that things are going.


Oooh... you like to hear all the details, do you? Your wish is my command!

We played the refrigerator game yesterday evening. I told my wife to get changed into her nightie (only) and to kneel down on the floor so that I could easily feed her, kiss her or spank her as appropriate. I then blindfolded her tightly and told her to stay there while I made other preparations. She obeyed.

I told my wife that we needed to practise the rewards and punishments before we began. I started by giving her a passionate kiss, which she seemed to find particularly sensual while she was blindfolded. Unknowingly to her, I then produced a riding crop. I delivered a swift spank to each of my wife's ass cheeks. She jumped in surprise but didn't complain.

I then started feeding grapes to my wife. The first one, a red grape, was incorrectly identified by her as a white one, leading to a swift slap from the riding crop after misleading my wife into believing that a kiss would be forthcoming. Once again, she took her punishment without any objection.

My wife then had a string of good guesses as I fed her more grapes, berries, seeds, and some liquid foodstuffs on a spoon. Whilst I enjoyed giving her the kisses, I felt that the game was becoming too easy and so I became more strict with the answers, introducing a time out period for each item (with an automatic spank from the crop if she didn't answer within that time) and deeming as incorrect answers such as "maple syrup" for plain syrup and "yoghurt" for Greek yoghurt (mean, eh?). Soon I had upped the spanking quota to match the kissing allocation.

I then started to spank and kiss my wife more gratuitously, taking advantage of her blindfolded state to make each event a surprise. I moved on from her ass cheeks and started to spank the outside of my wife's thighs and the sides of her tummy (gently) to see her reaction. Once again, she didn't object. I then stroked her inner thighs with the crop, and moved it upwards to rest gently on her pussy.

At this point, I decided to release my wife. I whispered into her ear that she was a very good girl and took off her blindfold. She didn't look at all unhappy with me. In fact, she grinned. "Good!", I thought. Then she snatched the riding crop off me and grinned even more widely.

In the final part of our activity, my wife chased me around the house with the crop until she finally caught me and delivered a succession of huge whacks to my backside. I grappled the crop back off her and reciprocated with gusto. We continued for a while back and forth in this manner until we eventually agreed a truce.

You're probably going to expect me to say that we went on and had great sex afterwards, but we didn't. We both seemed contented enough that it was sufficient for us just to cuddle up together in bed and go quickly to sleep.

I reflected afterwards that, if I'd asked my wife beforehand for permission to spank her with a riding crop, there's no way that she'd ever have agreed. She'd have regarded the idea as pervy and not "something she does". As you can see from my description, though, she certainly didn't seem to mind it once we got going. Just to reinforce this further, I was the unexpected recipient this morning of a smart slap on the bum from my wife's hand. She grinned again as she did it.

Wow, you two are having a GREAT time it seems!!! Congrats again and you are definately being rewarded for your consideration, patience and persistance!!!!!

 

[Jaded_One]

Woo hoo!

Way to go Mindfondler!! It's so great to see the progress.. and get juicy details... it just got much much warmer in here (fans self with hand). I'm guessing she might ready for... hmmm.. shall we say some restraints?

I know I'm ready to hear about it!

Seriously, it's really encouraging to see a partner take some initiative, learn, ask for help and then apply that knowledge to make their sexual relationship better.

 

[callinectes2]

I am so happy for both you and your wife! A whole new world awaits you.

 

[Mindfondler]

Update

The night before last, I decided to follow many of the suggestions earlier in this thread (for which I continue to be extremely grateful). I called my wife into our bedroom and told her that she was going to follow my instructions precisely, or else there would be consequences. She groaned, but I gauged this to be more in play than in seriousness.

I told my wife to stand still and loosely whilst I undressed her. She let me do this (and we both laughed at my difficulties in removing some of her garments without her active assistance -- it's never as easy as in the movies, is it?).

Once she was naked, I told my wife to lie on the bed in a position that pleased me. She took my hint and spread her legs wide open. I then told my wife that I was going to blindfold her. No reaction -- I was expecting her to object. I mustered the blindfold and watched my wife co-operate by lifting her head up so that I could secure the blindfold tightly in place without messing up her hair too much. This was going well.

I then told my wife that she had to reach her arms up so that her hands touched the headboard, and keep them there throughout our activity. She immediately complained and said that she couldn't do that. I put on a more severe tone and explained to my wife that, if she didn't do this, then I'd tie her hands up there instead. I also told her that she was no longer allowed to speak unless it was to answer my questions or to express pleasure. After an intake of breath, my wife fell silent and co-operated with her arms.

My first step was to work with a vibrator on my wife's breasts until her nipples began to harden. I then moved the vibrator slowly and tantalisingly down her stomach, veering away from her pussy at the last minute and teasing her inner thighs instead. I wanted to take things slowly and savour my wife's reactions at every stage.

I then surprised my unsuspecting and blindfolded wife by introducing some nipple clamps into the play. She's never tried them before and she was completely unaware that I had purchased some. I applied them to both of her nipples* and watched her squirm in unexpected pleasure.

* That's the short version to keep the story moving. In fact, I had a lot of trouble with the nipple clamps. The clips were tiny, allowing for only a few millimetres of nipple to be pinched even at the widest setting. I lost count of the number of times that they pinged off my wife's nipples. Several times, my wife spoke up to say that they no longer seemed to be working (sure enough, they had pinged off again). I didn't punish her for speaking out of turn about that as I could appreciate her frustration alongside my own. I think I'm going to have to try some modifications -- the vibe bits work fine, and it's just a case of adding a couple of appropriately wide but correctly tensioned and still grippy clamps. Anyway, I return you now to our main feature...

I took my wife's rabbit vibrator and found that I could conveniently park it outside her body, with the ears firmly against her clit. I started it on the low setting, and asked my wife to confirm that it was making her hot (it was). I then instructed my wife to bring to mind a fantasy scene that turned her on, the only condition being that it must be dirty enough to feel slightly uncomfortable for her, and that she must tell me all about it.

My wife quickly settled for her favourite film scene in which a petite woman is given a thorough screwing by a big muscular bloke on a rustic kitchen table. I asked her to describe the scene and to express it to me in terms of her being the woman on the table. As she did this, I cranked the rabbit vibrator up to the next notch (medium) and watched her gasp and tremble. One of her hands momentarily left the headboard before she quickly realised her error and returned it there. I opted not to mention it as my wife seemed busy enough with other matters.

I commanded my wife to keep the film scene in her mind and to think about the sights, sounds and feelings associated with it. I then started to talk dirty to her, using words which might trigger feelings of shame in her but then reassuring my wife that this is fine because, as I'd previously explained to her, it's my deep desire for us to be dirty together in our bedroom.

Each time I gave my wife permission to enjoy "bad" aspects of the fantasy (for example, being screwed by a different bloke), she seemed to relax a bit more. I let her rock and roll with this for a few minutes so that she could get fully acclimatised to those feelings. After this, I sensed that my wife was ready for more. I told my wife that I was going to make her reach orgasm soon, and instructed her to make herself ready for one of the wildest and most intense climaxes that she had ever experienced. I then set the rabbit vibrator to its maximum setting, knowing that my wife wouldn't be able to last for long at that intensity. I wasn't wrong.

As my wife approached orgasm, I told her that she had to plead to me for permission before she came. I told her that she had to use the exact words: "Please, Sir! May I come now, Sir!". My wife momentarily stuck out her tongue at me in a gesture of defiance, but her expression quickly changed as she immediately found herself hit by a wave of intense excitement.

My wife managed to hold back this initial onslaught, and then asked me the question as scripted. I refused her request. I saw my wife's body buck and one of her arms reached down to try to make a grab for the vibrator on her clit. I immediately ordered her to return her hand up to the headboard, and said that I wouldn't allow her to come until she apologised and asked the question again in a way which showed me how much she needed to come.

I could see that my wife was now having extreme difficulty in holding back the tide. I gave her an evil smile and ordered her to submit. Between rapid intakes of breath, she almost sobbed to me that she was sorry for not following my instructions, and begged me using the pre-arranged words to let her come now.

My wife was clearly now exactly where I wanted her. I told her that I was very pleased with her and that, yes, she was now allowed to come, as long as she did it hard and loudly. She certainly did! It seemed that the combination of my praise and my permission enabled her to reach a higher goal than she had managed before.

I kept the vibrator on my wife's clit until I was sure that she had come fully and only withdrew it when I sensed that it was starting to cause her discomfort. I then took in the sight of my wife's naked body laid out limply in front of me, still glowing with heat and all orgasmed out, and I decided that the time was right for me to take her.

I leapt on top of my wife and slid my cock straight and deep into her ripe pussy, which felt red-hot and soaking wet. I thrusted hard for just sixty seconds or so, and that was enough to take my wife over the edge again. I felt her body writhe with pleasure underneath me, and I continued for as long as I could manage. It wasn't too much time, though, as I was so worked up by the sensory stimulation of my super-hot and uninhibited wife underneath me, and the satisfaction that I had made her this way.

We cuddled and relaxed together for about thirty minutes afterwards. Before we went to sleep, my wife confided to me that she had unexpectedly enjoyed the experience and found it much more powerful than she could have imagined.

So, that was incredible for both of us. I hope that I've been able to share that enjoyment with others by way of reward for all of your helpful input. I've spent quite a bit of time on the details. I trust that's okay!

The only question for me now is, where do we go next?

 

[MasterPhoenix]

Damn, broham, I am away for a couple of days and you have been rockin and rolling along.

The only limitation is what you can/can't imagine...

 

[NomadLady]

It seems you now have the "good/bad" girl you've always wanted....ENJOY!!!

 

[FreakMyWhatNow]

Oh WOW! Go you!! I'm all bothered just reading about it! Have fun!!

 

[00Syd]

It's nice to see that this worked out So often people try to introduce or "convert" their lover to BDSM, with disasterous results (I lost a great relationship that way), so to see one instance where it's actually working is really great. My best wishes to you both

 

[Jaded_One]

Again.. WOO HOO!!! Doing a little victory dance for you! (Actually, I'm squirming in my chair all worked up after reading your success!)

Next step..... hmmm... what about going through the stories... there are some really great writers... and find a couple that turn you on..

 

[Mindfondler]

Many thanks for all of those positive replies and encouragement.

The only limitation is what you can/can't imagine...

That's not necessarily a limitation, given a bit of help from my friends.

It seems you now have the "good/bad" girl you've always wanted....ENJOY!!!

Well... I think I've definitely broken the barrier of my wife believing that "good wife" has to mean being a "good girl" in the bedroom. What's more, I think she's realised that she rather enjoys being a "bad girl" now that she's been given the taste for it.

Oh WOW! Go you!! I'm all bothered just reading about it! Have fun!!

I'm glad that it got you all bothered! I was worried that it might seem self-indulgent for me to post so much detail -- as if I were showing off. It sounds instead as if I met my aim of bringing a bit of pleasure back to those who have been so helpful in providing useful suggestions to me.

It's nice to see that this worked out

Thanks. In the end, it didn't seem too risky to take a few extra steps. The trick was (as several people said) for me to trust my own judgement about the responses that I was getting, and not to be so keen to proceed with a particular scenario that I became blind to any warning signals.

(Actually, I'm squirming in my chair all worked up after reading your success!)

Heh... another success!

what about going through the stories... there are some really great writers... and find a couple that turn you on..

I'll do that. I haven't yet figured out, though, how best to search through the masses of material for something that turns me on the best (and hopefully my wife too). I don't think there's yet a search engine in existence with that level of sophistication.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

.... It sounds instead as if I met my aim of bringing a bit of pleasure back to those who have been so helpful in providing useful suggestions to me....

Yup