How To Get To Heaven When You Die

[phrodeau]

Are you familiar with Richard Carrier? He is a strong proponent of the "Jesus Never Existed" idea and presents some solid circumstantial evidence to support his theory. To him, Jesus was a made-up celestial being that was then placed by human legend and tradition into a historical context and given a rather unprovable genealogy.

Jesus wasn't given an unproveable genealogy. He was given two of them, and they don't agree. And neither one supports the idea that God was the father of Jesus, which denies any genealogy.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

Jesus wasn't given an unproveable genealogy. He was given two of them, and they don't agree. And neither one supports the idea that God was the father of Jesus, which denies any genealogy.

Touche. A better analysis of the genealogical issues. I stand corrected.

 

[Hypoxia]

Are you familiar with Richard Carrier? He is a strong proponent of the "Jesus Never Existed" idea and presents some solid circumstantial evidence to support his theory. To him, Jesus was a made-up celestial being that was then placed by human legend and tradition into a historical context and given a rather unprovable genealogy.

I've not seen his stuff, only pieced this together from my own researches. Lack of corroboration and misfit with history kill the Yeshua story.

Mea culpa: I was raised Quaker-Methodist, sent to Lutheran primary schools, attended Oral Roberts Uni (briefly), hung around a radical seminary, lived in a Hasidic hippie commune, been ordained a few times, started some religions, and carved some ineffectual deities, which are worth every centavo. Gods can be fun if leashed.

 

[Hypoxia]

Jesus wasn't given an unproveable genealogy. He was given two of them, and they don't agree. And neither one supports the idea that God was the father of Jesus, which denies any genealogy.

So Lord {JHWH} stuck a holy invisible alien cock into a random Levantine virgin to implant a cloned godling that lived and died (but didn't really die because immortal deity) to spread a message most humans can never hear, let alone believe, so they're fucked for all eternity. And what of the cuckold Yusuf?

Nope, no genealogy issues here.

Sanity is another matter.

 

[SEVERUSMAX]

So Lord {JHWH} stuck a holy invisible alien cock into a random Levantine virgin to implant a cloned godling that lived and died (but didn't really die because immortal deity) to spread a message most humans can never hear, let alone believe, so they're fucked for all eternity. And what of the cuckold Yusuf?

Nope, no genealogy issues here.

Sanity is another matter.

Assuming that either story is believable at all. Of course, if it is, then the Supreme Being raped an underage girl. Yeah, no extreme power imbalance there, either.

 

[phrodeau]

Was it rape? The Bible says that God impregnated Mary through her ear.

 

[Hypoxia]

Was it rape? The Bible says that God impregnated Mary through her ear.

I've heard of toegasms and nosegasms but eargasms are generally sonic, hey? Which implies a musical fuck like all those circa 1960 gals impregnated after close-dancing to the Fleetwoods singing Mister Blue. Lick her ear and she'll do anything. Remember, Miryam was a teenager, too.

 

[phrodeau]

I've heard of toegasms and nosegasms but eargasms are generally sonic, hey? Which implies a musical fuck like all those circa 1960 gals impregnated after close-dancing to the Fleetwoods singing Mister Blue. Lick her ear and she'll do anything. Remember, Miryam was a teenager, too.

The angel Gabriel said to Mary, “The Holy Spirit comes upon you,” and that was that.

 

[Tryharder62]

Jesus wasn't given an unproveable genealogy. He was given two of them, and they don't agree. And neither one supports the idea that God was the father of Jesus, which denies any genealogy.

I explained why a few pages back.

Was it rape? The Bible says that God impregnated Mary through her ear.

The angel Gabriel said to Mary, “The Holy Spirit comes upon you,” and that was that.

In Luke:
In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth, to a virgin betrothed to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin's name was Mary. And he came to her and said, "Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!" But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be. And the angel said to her, "Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David, and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end."

And Mary said to the angel, "How will this be, since I am a virgin?"

And the angel answered her, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be called holy—the Son of God. And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren. For nothing will be impossible with God." And Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." And the angel departed from her.

She consented!!! Read the whole thing.

 

[Tryharder62]

As to Mary being impregnated through the ear I would like to know the bible verse you get this from. This is talked about in early art and literature. I can't find anything in the bible. People are always trying to figure out how she was impregnated. The problem is you can't use scientific means to explain something that is supernatural.

 

[phrodeau]

As to Mary being impregnated through the ear I would like to know the bible verse you get this from. This is talked about in early art and literature. I can't find anything in the bible. People are always trying to figure out how she was impregnated. The problem is you can't use scientific means to explain something that is supernatural.

First, Gabriel said that the Holy Spirit would come unto her. (Luke 1:35) Then Mary went to visit Elizabeth, and the Holy Spirit entered Elizabeth, who shouted at Mary, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!" (Luke 1:42) After that, she was pregnant.

 

[Tryharder62]

First, Gabriel said that the Holy Spirit would come unto her. (Luke 1:35) Then Mary went to visit Elizabeth, and the Holy Spirit entered Elizabeth, who shouted at Mary, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!" (Luke 1:42) After that, she was pregnant.

The: after that she became pregnant are your words.

Personally I think Mary was already pregnant when she went to Elizabeth. The Holy Spirit helped John recognize Jesus in the womb and that is why John leaped.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Happy with the results of your poll?

Do you mean the one at the top of this thread?

 

[Hypoxia]

Pie In The Sky -- Joe Hill

Long-haired preachers come out every night
To tell you what's wrong and what's right
But when asked how about something to eat
They will answer in voices so sweet:

You will eat, bye and bye
In that glorious land above the sky
Work and pray, live on hay
You'll get pie in the sky when you die.
That's a lie

And the starvation army they play
They sing and they clap and they pray
'Till they get all your coin on the drum
Then they'll tell you when you're on the bum:

You're gonna eat, bye and bye, poor boy
In that glorious land above the sky, way up high
Work and pray, live on hay
You'll get pie in the sky when you die
Dirty lie

Holy Rollers and jumpers come out
They holler, they jump, Lord, they shout
Give your money to Jesus they say
He will cure all troubles today

And you will eat, bye and bye,
In that glorious land above the sky, way up high
Work and pray, boy, live on hay,
You'll get pie in the sky when you die.

If you fight hard for children and wife
Try to get something good in this life
You're a sinner and bad man, they tell
When you die you will sure go to hell

You will eat, bye and bye
In that glorious land above the sky
Work and pray, live on hay
You'll get pie in the sky when you die

Workingmen of all countries, unite
Side by side we for freedom will fight
When this world and its wealth we have gained
To the grafters we'll sing this refrain:

Well, you will eat, bye and bye
When you've learned how to cook and to fry
Chop some wood, it'll do you good
You will eat in the sweet bye and bye

Yes you'll eat, bye and bye
In that glorious land above the sky, way up high
Work and pray, and live on hay
You'll get pie in the sky when you die
That's a lie....

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

'I Can Only Imagine' is a good movie.

 

[Tryharder62]

'I Can Only Imagine' is a good movie.

Oh my gosh... I love that movie!

 

[Hypoxia]

Leon Rosselson – Stand Up For Judas

The Romans were the masters when Jesus walked the land
In Judea and in Galilee they ruled with an iron hand
And the poor were sick with hunger and the rich were clothed in splendour
And the rebels whipped and crucified hung rotting as a warning

And Jesus knew the answer
Said give to Caesar what is Caesar's
Said love your enemies
But Judas was a Zealot and he wanted to be free
Resist, he said, the Romans' tyranny

So stand up, stand up for Judas and the cause that Judas served
It was Jesus who betrayed the poor with his word

Jesus was a conjuror, miracles were his game
And he fed the hungry thousands and they glorified his name
He cured the lame and the lepers, he calmed the wind and the weather
And the wretched flocked to touch him so their troubles would be taken

And Jesus knew the answer
All you who labour, all you who suffer only believe in me
But Judas sought a world where no one starved or begged for bread
The poor are always with us, Jesus said

So stand up, stand up for Judas and the cause that Judas served
It was Jesus who betrayed the poor with his word

Now Jesus brought division where none had been before
Not the slaves against their masters but the poor against the poor
Set son to rise up against father, and brother to fight against brother
For he that is not with me is against me was his teaching

Said Jesus, I am the answer
You unbelievers shall burn forever, shall die in your sins
Not sheep and goats, said Judas, But together we may dare
Shake off the chains of misery we share

So stand up, stand up for Judas and the cause that Judas served
It was Jesus who betrayed the poor with his word

Jesus stood upon the mountain with a distance in his eyes
I am the way, the life, he cried, The light that never dies
So renounce all earthly treasures and pray to your heavenly father
And he pacified the hopeless with the hope of life eternal

Said Jesus, I am the answer
And you who hunger only remember your reward's in Heaven
So Jesus preached the other world but Judas wanted this
And he betrayed his master with a kiss

So stand up, stand up for Judas and the cause that Judas served
It was Jesus who betrayed the poor with his word

By sword and gun and crucifix Christ's gospel has been spread
And 2000 cruel years have shown the way that Jesus led
The heretics burned and tortured, and the butchering bloody crusaders
The bombs and rockets sanctified that rained down death from heaven
They followed Jesus, they knew the answer
All non-believers must be believers or else be broken
So put no trust in saviours, Judas said, for everyone
Must be to his or her own self - a sun

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Oh my gosh... I love that movie!

Me too, just saw it. I highly recommend it to anyone.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

https://ixquick-proxy.com/do/spg/sh...July2.jpg&sp=13f7049ef8c1614e3daddab3009e3220

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

THE MIRACLE RETURN OF THE LOST TRIBE OF ISRAEL:


http://www.wnd.com/2018/07/the-miracle-return-of-lost-tribe-to-israel/

 

[Hypoxia]

Your history is bogus. Your promise of heaven is a lie that fattens preachers. Get a life.

 

[ronmcc2448]

Heard someone say " We are sending God a text when it is our time". I thought to myself that is what our world has come to.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Your history is bogus. Your promise of heaven is a lie that fattens preachers. Get a life.

You make baseless statement if it makes you feel good, but the truth is on my side.

 

[Hypoxia]

You make baseless statement if it makes you feel good, but the truth is on my side.

Your religion promotes genocide, infanticide, slavery, familial abuse, and magical thinking. Fuck that.

 

[xfrodobagginsx]

Your religion promotes genocide, infanticide, slavery, familial abuse, and magical thinking. Fuck that.

Where does it say that in the Bible? Quite the opposite.