How to find out other guys around you in every day life?

[bikurinpa]

I wonder what is the best way to figure out or find out about other guys who we are around every day if they have bi desires and How do you detect or figure them out without being too blunt! I am a person who dont go to bars and drink, so bars and clubs are no option. I wonder if any one has a idea or knows how to lay a clue, a question or comment to make without being too obvious and things go the wrong way!
Is there a activity that is better then others? I like hiking, fishing, kayaking, atv riding motorcycle riding, (road bikes).

 

[ericrodman101]

Check online. Gay and bi people have clubs and organisations promoting activities for gays. You may gay hikers, bi cyclers, gay kayakers, etc. Or special days for gays/bis. My thing is swimming or the beach - have you tried that?

 

[CuriousGuyVa]

If you find out how, please share. I often wonder if there are any guys I know who have the same interest but just keep it to themselves too.

 

[klippert]

It's called the internet. Be specific for what you are looking for, else wise you'll attract all the creeps, freaks and weirdos
being specific may take a bit longer...but, in the end you'll be happy you were...then, it's all up to you. will you cross the bridge or NOT

 

[sweettalk4u]

Fetlife and others offer local meetup groups in your area but you are wondering how to make that sudden connection? Eye contact. Don't stare, but at the right moment look into his eyes. Then do it again when the opportunity presents itself.

 

[JackOfNoTrades]

It's called the internet. Be specific for what you are looking for, else wise you'll attract all the creeps, freaks and weirdos
being specific may take a bit longer...but, in the end you'll be happy you were...then, it's all up to you. will you cross the bridge or NOT

Good point..be specific as to what you are looking for and what you WILL NOT DO. Some guys are so desperate for sex that they will agree with everything, then change to the opposite when you meet them. For me, I'll walk away immediatley. I'm a bottom, and I will not top a guy. I'm up front with that. And it pisses me off when someone strikes up a conversation on Lit or in the real world talking about how they do nothing but top, then they get frustrated when things get further along and they suddenly say they want to try bottoming. At that point, I'm out.

So set expectations from the beginning.

 

[coati]

The real question

The question in the thread title has to do with finding guys in every day life. It infers searching based on face-to-face interactions, not internet based searches. I have had much better success with face-to-face interactions than with internet hook-ups, because the face-to-face method takes better advantage of non-verbal communication that is deeply programmed into our DNA.

So, with that in mind, I offer these points, based on my experience as a bisexual man:

1. Outdoor activities are an excellent venue. The opening poster mentioned several outdoor activities. People tend to lower their defensiveness and xenophobia when they are doing recreational activities outdoors. Well over half of my sexual interactions with men have been initiated while doing recreational activities outdoors, with especially high success rates in situations where men are completely or partially unclothed around each other.
   
2. You must be ready to take the time to listen, speak, and connect in some real way with other men. Men are generally just as guarded as you are, so this is very important. As you have more sexual experiences with men, this will become much easier, and you can quickly get beyond small talk. Also, you will more readily recognize which men are more likely to be bi or bi curious. Intuition comes from experience.
   
3. You must understand your limits and your safety measures, and come prepared to meet those limits and measures. For example, if I don't have a condom, I know I am not going to do anything beyond mutual stroking with somebody I have never met before.
   
4. If you know your limits and safety measures, you will be much more likely to accept an opportunity when it comes along, such as when a guy reaches out to you with his hand, or when one of you suggests getting physical. That is an exciting point, and some guys chicken out simply because they have not already worked out the safety and social ramifications.
   
5. You have to understand what you are actually looking for. Many more men than women only want casual sex that involves no further social contact. Eventually if you find that you are looking for something more long term, you need to somehow communicate that early in a new relationship

 

[YukonJack907]

Bracelet

There's another thread here (at Lit) about bi men wearing a bracelet to indicate that they are bi. I got a paracord bracelet about a week ago and have begun wearing it in public. No reaction(s) yet, but it will probably take some time for this idea to catch on.

 

[bikurinpa]

There's another thread here (at Lit) about bi men wearing a bracelet to indicate that they are bi. I got a paracord bracelet about a week ago and have begun wearing it in public. No reaction(s) yet, but it will probably take some time for this idea to catch on.

I seen the thread about that, but the links to all the pics was dudds that could not view the pic but as only as all a small thumbnail pic, could not make it out.
a small article like that may be a good way, but then most those would be people who was "out" and the one posted above about going to clubs or gay clubs, which those again would be people who are very out and not be someone who be discreet.
I am meaning to find other men who are discrete and not out that have same desires as me.

 

[YukonJack907]

Bracelet

https://www.bing.com/images/search?view=detailV2&ccid=YoLrom0Y&id=23A40EC57BD69549E366D09503072689BC0621D3&thid=OIP.YoLrom0YmRSpLZcRt6mTFAHaE8&mediaurl=https**a**f**fimg0.etsystatic.com**f002**f0**f7201790**fil_570xN.406157550_ccxc.jpg&exph=380&expw=570&q=bi+pride+bracelet&simid=608047370504047724&selectedIndex=9&ajaxhist=0


It wouldn't cost much to give it a try. Nothing to lose and lots to gain, potentially.

 

[Dusty753]

Married

Kinda hard for us married men to live out our fantasies in clubs.

 

[sweettalk4u]

Nurturing online relationships has worked well for me

 

[bikurinpa]

Kinda hard for us married men to live out our fantasies in clubs.

This was the point I was trying to make in this thread, most posted GLBT activities etc, and gay clubs and bars etc, How do you explain these to the wife or friends! That is why I was referring to finding out about figuring or how to lay clues, or a good catchy conversation that would not b too obvious to find out guys.

 

[txboyalone]

Be observant

I wouldn't have done this when I was younger but have grown bolder as I have gotten older. In public I will quit obverously look at guys crotches. I get three reactions mostly: one; the don't notice I am looking, two; they notice me and just smile. Or they notice and will often rub there packag. About once a month I will connect this way and seems to work well. Last month I was walking in a park and passed this guy and gave him the look, he turned and followed me, I walked on and strayed off the trail and he followed. We had a nice time and traded numbers. Good luck.

 

[speakerfrank]

There's another thread here (at Lit) about bi men wearing a bracelet to indicate that they are bi. I got a paracord bracelet about a week ago and have begun wearing it in public. No reaction(s) yet, but it will probably take some time for this idea to catch on.

So the problem with that is if you don't want to be out, you shouldn't do anything that outs you, like wearing a bracelet or posting on face book that your bi and looking for cock.

If you are okay being out then go for it put on a bracelet.

 

[Dram111512]

My fantasy

I am a 48 year old straight male, but to me nothing beats jerking off while watching a video of guys jerking each other off. I dream of being out of town and satisfying this repressed need/desire. But how would I start? Not knowing any other way, I put a post in Literotica asking if there are other straight males in this town who have the same want that I have. Not expecting any responses, I hit return. Before I can even order room service, I get my first response. Dan is also in town, and he is staying at the same hotel (hey it is my fantasy- cut me some slack). After some back and forth, we decide to meet in the lobby bar.

After some uncomfortable chit chat, we agree on some ground rules. We will go to his room, but no touching each other. Dan heads up to set up his room, while I finish my black and tan. Do I pleasure myself prior to heading up stairs? No- but as I hit 4 on the elevator, I think "what the f..am I doing, then what the f..am I doing". I get to the anointed room and knock on it with a shaking hand and a hard cock..

He answers the door, fully dressed. I look in his room- he has a monitor set up at the base of the queen size bed. We both walk to the bed and sit down- and he hits play. Two guys start to jack each other off on the screen. I can not concentrate on the video, but I want to win by holding off longer. I glance at his face then his crotch- he seems as excited as I am. Screw it- I zip down my fly and pull out my shaft. Not much- only six inches and I start to massage the end, not knowing how long I will last. That was the queue that Dan needed. He unzipped his pants- as I quivered with anticipation. How much would come out? 5 inches- un cute- but thicker then mine. I pulled off my pants to show my balls- hoping he would do the same. He did. I stroked myself- and for an instant I though he was going to break our agreement and play with my balls- but alas- he started stroking himself. His technique was unique- his thumb being underneath his medium sized shaft. I could not last- and exploded. Then I got to watch Dan play with his shaft. The look on his face gave me the warning of his impending cum..

Wow- after he sprayed..what do I say? "That was fun". His response was "Touching allowed tomorrow night?"

Let me know if I should describe night two of my fantasy- or cut my losses as an author...

 

[4yourpleasureiam]

I miss old New Orleans, Life was much simpler back then.

 

[klippert]

This was the point I was trying to make in this thread, most posted GLBT activities etc, and gay clubs and bars etc, How do you explain these to the wife or friends! That is why I was referring to finding out about figuring or how to lay clues, or a good catchy conversation that would not b too obvious to find out guys.

That was the first response....put on skimpy shorts and tank...find a rainbow flag and join a club...pull your shorts down and 5 guy bang your ass..

NO man..that is not what was asked. BiK, I'm sure there is some convoluted blog some where that can help. When I was living the lifestyle...before all he Gay'bow stuff was jammed down your throat. There were signals..like red bandanna in the back pocket. just an example.
AS I said before...the web is massive and you can find what you're looking for. As for being in the Big Box do'it yourself store. Holding a the biggest wench in your left had...I couldn't tell you.
Ill hit the web tomorrow morning and see what i can dig up

join a club...wtf....like theirs a local "married curious mens fishing club, that your wife's friends won't find out about....and blab their fucking mouths off"

 

[bikurinpa]

join a club...wtf....like theirs a local "married curious mens fishing club, that your wife's friends won't find out about....and blab their fucking mouths off"

My post was directed to discreet bi men figuring out others, LGBT or gay bars would be ok for guys who are "out" and not discreet.

Yes, a local fishing club or atv club for bi, bicurious guys would be excellent, but there is NONE around, even on the FB groups, nothing even any where close to local here.

 

[whistler1]

The question in the thread title has to do with finding guys in every day life. It infers searching based on face-to-face interactions, not internet based searches. I have had much better success with face-to-face interactions than with internet hook-ups, because the face-to-face method takes better advantage of non-verbal communication that is deeply programmed into our DNA.

So, with that in mind, I offer these points, based on my experience as a bisexual man:

1. Outdoor activities are an excellent venue. The opening poster mentioned several outdoor activities. People tend to lower their defensiveness and xenophobia when they are doing recreational activities outdoors. Well over half of my sexual interactions with men have been initiated while doing recreational activities outdoors, with especially high success rates in situations where men are completely or partially unclothed around each other.
   
2. You must be ready to take the time to listen, speak, and connect in some real way with other men. Men are generally just as guarded as you are, so this is very important. As you have more sexual experiences with men, this will become much easier, and you can quickly get beyond small talk. Also, you will more readily recognize which men are more likely to be bi or bi curious. Intuition comes from experience.
   
3. You must understand your limits and your safety measures, and come prepared to meet those limits and measures. For example, if I don't have a condom, I know I am not going to do anything beyond mutual stroking with somebody I have never met before.
   
4. If you know your limits and safety measures, you will be much more likely to accept an opportunity when it comes along, such as when a guy reaches out to you with his hand, or when one of you suggests getting physical. That is an exciting point, and some guys chicken out simply because they have not already worked out the safety and social ramifications.
   
5. You have to understand what you are actually looking for. Many more men than women only want casual sex that involves no further social contact. Eventually if you find that you are looking for something more long term, you need to somehow communicate that early in a new relationship

These are interesting suggestions, but I do have a question.

In your first one, you mention that you have had particular success "...in situations where men are completely or partially unclothed around each other.

Not to sound like the complete moron that I am, but where are such situations encountered? I can guess a sauna or bath house, but beyond that...