How to decline social invitations or any Covid related dilemma

[stickygirl]

Please pen your ideas for declining, politely or otherwise a social invitation. Since we're in the middle of a pandemic, this may colour your replies. We could all use some excuses for staying well

I'll kick off with a blunt reply
Dear Paul - what a lovely idea xx I'd love to have a cuppa and hear all about your infidelity, but I've met some of your family and know what a bunch of skanks you are. Have you considered you might be asymptomatic or that your shortness of breath and cough might be contagious? Can we take a rain check on that and reschedule for Easter one year? Stay well xx Twat.

and a polite one
Dear Paul - what a lovely idea xx I'd love to hear the goss! As you'll recall, I'm still having to shop for my dear old grandma, so it's probably best to save it up for another day xx Miss you

 

[baculum]

(blunt)
Hey Robert, your wife sent me an invitation to your son's birthday party. Nothing short of a loaded gun would make me spend the day with you or that snot nosed little bastard. Even without the current virus safety precautions, which you are all ignoring.

(polite)
Hey Robert, April sent me an invitation to Brian's birthday party. I won't be attending because you have all decided to ignore the
virus safety precautions.

 

[beachbaby179]

(blunt) Dear Maria, are you out of your fucking mind? Having a dinner party when people are dying?

(polite) Dear Maria, thanks for the invite, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to add your dinner party to the list of things that got put on a shelf this year - along with St. Patrick's Day, Easter, graduations, communions, baptisms, 4th of July and my mom's 90th birthday. One hell of a party when this whole thing is over, though!

 

[Deacon_Voss]

Blunt: What the fuck, are you stupid?

Polite: What the fuck Jack, are you really that fucking stupid?