How to. . . Cheat. Yes, Cheat.

[cherokee99]

I think SweetErika hit the nail on the head. In a marriage (joining of 2 people) all actions affect both parties. The desire to have sexual relations outside your marriage and keep it secret from your wife is a symptom of a deeper problem in the relationship. From those I know who did this, it ended up being a hollow experience.

In my opinion, part of being a matured male is doing that which we have been raised to do poorly - share our inner pain and emotional states with our SO. Secret sexual experiences is simply the cowards way out.

I don't mean to be excessively harsh, but at times it's needed.

peace,
Cherokee

 

[Mary Hall]

Anyway, this is something that can drive a loving husband to cheat: when he simply isn't getting any at home. I am hopelessly in love with my wife, and I may be flattering myself, but I feel that if I can be driven to cheat than anyone can.

I hope she divorces you`re cheating ass and finds a man who will love and respect her, cuz YOU don`t.

 

[cloudy]

...many tribe leaders have multiple partners same with the alpha males in the animal kingdom-multiple parnters. But we're too sophisticated for that now in this day and age-especially with all the politically correctness.

darlin', where in the world do you get your info?

I know that MY tribe, and probably close to half of the nations here in the states are matrilineal. When a couple got married, he left his clan, and became part of hers - he moved into HER home, and if she got sick of him, she simply set his belongings outside - divorce was that simple, if you were a woman. For a man, not so simple.

For instance: my grandmother was half Choctaw, half Cherokee, BUT she, and her descendents are Choctaw, because her mother was Choctaw, so that's who we belong to.

Women have the power in matrilineal societies, and there are far more of them than you realize.

 

[Recidiva]

Also, if nobody ever bothered to mention that pain and sacrifice is part of being an adult, well.

Pain and sacrifice is part of being an adult.

Maybe take up finger puppetry or masturbation.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I hope she divorces you`re cheating ass and finds a man who will love and respect her, cuz YOU don`t.

OK, I'm not defending his stance here, but I have to ask a question of you. You're saying that if he loves her, really loves her, that he'll suck it up and deal with the situation. OK sure, but if she loves him shouldn't she be considerate of his needs as well and make some attempt to be sure he is satisfied?

 

[Mary Hall]

Maybe if he stopped thinking with his cock and gave her more affection like cuddles maybe she would feel loved. And why should she give all in the relationship? It works both ways actually.

 

[FurryFury]

OK, I'm not defending his stance here, but I have to ask a question of you. You're saying that if he loves her, really loves her, that he'll suck it up and deal with the situation. OK sure, but if she loves him shouldn't she be considerate of his needs as well and make some attempt to be sure he is satisfied?

Actually, in my book if both people aren't trying to make the other one happy, then something is wrong with the relationship, so yes, she should try and so should he.


We are all only human and we may not get it right but only in trying and communicating do we learn. When we listen and share how we are feeling and thinking that is intimacy that can lead to getting closer to what you want.

Still there might be things a person wants that their partners just can't give or understand. Then you have to decide what is most important to you, your self concept as a loyal and your love for your partner or you deep hunger for those things. Then you have to live with your decisions and actions whatever they may be.

Fury

 

[fgarvb1]

OK, I'll help you out.

1. Develop a total distaste for your wife / S.O. and any children that might be involved. This is a necessary first step, otherwise it's hard to think up a good reason to start in the first place.

2. Collect an abundance of alibis and spend time practicing them. You'll need to have them come across as really genuine. Reciting them to yourself while driving alone in the car is good. They have to be believable ones. Telling her you're going bowling or golfing when you've never done that before is no good. And don't use the "gotta work late" scam...sooner or later she'll check up on you.

3. Don't put any phone numbers on your cell phone, or email addresses on your computer. All contact must be clandestine and non-traceable. Leave no tracks.

4. Don't forget the essentials and the details that are involved with them. Suddenly you might need to start buying a large supply of condoms. Where will you hide them? And where to buy them? Stick to an out-of-town store so your normal day to day profile does not change. Someone your wife knows is bound to see you at the Wal-Mart pharmacy and start wondering.

5. Be prepared to buy gifts. And where will you buy them? See #4 above. Pay cash for things, credit cards leave a paper trail.

7. Women leave tracks, just like animals. Are you prepared to scour every single square inch of your clothing each night BEFORE you come home? We can spot a foreign hair from 20 paces.

8. Don't forget the scent. She just spent the past 3 hours banging you and you think we can't smell that? It's not obvious to you because your nose is accustomed to it, but it smells like a stink bomb the moment you come in the door. And don't think you can hide it with deoderant or body wash. We can smell that too, and if it's noticeable at a time when it usually wasn't, we get really good at math.

9. Contact a good lawyer in advance, you might end up needing it. The woman gets most of the monetary benefits in a split, especially with kids involved. Know this ahead of time so that you don't come across as a pisser and a moaner when the judge bangs the gavel.

10. Lastly, contact my ex-husband for the items I've forgotten. He was a pro.

Where is my hammer and nails? I'm going to add this.
So you want to know how to cheat, well…having not taken up the hobby with any seriousness in a very long time, I will have to rely on memory.

The first thing you should do is to accept the fate of getting caught. Yes that is what I said; few people who cheat on their spouses or loved ones for a prolonged period of time, with one or more people make it more than five years without getting caught. You want to know what gets them caught the most?

They do.

That is correct. They get careless or lazy or overconfident or they get to where they no longer give a damn, sooner or later they screw up. Not that they have to, oh no indeed, if you keep it up long enough someone will tell your significant other. People just can’t stand it! If it’s not your best friend trying to get into her pants it’s some busybody sticking their noses into your business. If not that it will be someone that does not like you for whatever reason, you may not even know why. But you can rely on this SOMEONE will tell it!

If none of the above takes place here are some things to keep in mind.

The more you meet the more your chances of getting caught increases. Communications or involved, this means mistakes are made, people know when you are playing dial-a- pussy on the phone DUDE! And if you go low talking around the house…well! Don’t forget phone records and computer logs!

Every time you meet the chance of someone seeing you increases, people you or your SO know, Her ex-whatever
(They take a delight in screwing things up) Also most people aren’t the best actors or actress in the world and if you have any record of running around or anything suspicious with your SO, you can be followed. You know how you are when you get a scent of forbidden pussy on your mind!

There is much, much more if anyone wants to add it fine

 

[Quoll]

How to Commit Adultery

Exhume your heart. Put the bleeding thing
inside a Ziploc, inside the freezer.
Pocket your wedding band and drive
to the nearest bar.

Have a drink. Have another. Make conversation
with the woman with fishnet stockings,
mapping the topography of her legs.
Be charming. Say A blind man
could fall in love with your eyes.
Say I want to memorize the alphabet
of your body.

Have one more drink at her apartment.
Compliment her on the décor, the zebra-striped couch,
the lava lamp in the corner of her bedroom
juggling its organs in slow-motion.

Kiss. Unclasp her bra, unloosen your belt,
varnish her skin with your tongue.
Do what you came there to do.

Get dressed, go home, pretend nothing
happened. When your wife finds it
in the freezer the morning after,
when she asks What is this?, say Dinner.

Let it thaw all day on the kitchen counter.
Listen to it shushing on the grill.​

 

[Recidiva]

OK, I'm not defending his stance here, but I have to ask a question of you. You're saying that if he loves her, really loves her, that he'll suck it up and deal with the situation. OK sure, but if she loves him shouldn't she be considerate of his needs as well and make some attempt to be sure he is satisfied?

If she loves him she might have been trying to say the same things and has been given the same amount of thought.

There are people that can hold treasure in their hands and think it's worthless. It's not the treasure's fault.

If he's put no investment into his life than it will hold no value for him.

If his life is meaningless to him it's because he has chosen to find no meaning there and invest no meaning into it. Even if she loves him and he chooses not to see it, and if he was blind to it or found no value in it, that's his choice and that's what free will is all about.

If she's really the most foul and vile thing on the face of the earth than he's taking the first step toward freedom.

A person who can't have a satisfying sexual life with a partner or partners, can't arrange for any satisfactory substitution privately either through masturbation or otherwise, can't confront their partner or themselves, and has to blame their partner or the social contract and can't find their way around that...is a sadist or a masochist or spoiled brat who can't see two inches beyond their own dick. They're going to blame other people for whatever failing they see and be in pain, then cause more pain, and just keep on going. It's the pain they like. It surely can't be the pleasure. Because they'd be getting pleasure and they'd know how to do that.

If it's more complicated than this, let me know. If it were just the simple pleasure, than masturbation would do. But if you can't shut off the ego stroke part of your brain that needs to go get more women, than read a book, watch the Discovery channel, get control of that part of evolution.

There are lots of people that are masochists that like to blame everyone else for their pain. They're in the closet. They won't go after pleasure and masochism isn't something they've gone after honestly and they don't wear a sign that says "ask me about masochism!" But they surely don't make choices that head any other direction.

If your wife were in the hospital, should the government provide you with a hooker to give you a blow job daily to ease your stress or should you get off your ass and realize that sometimes life is hard?

Really, please. Just go sleep with the baby sitter. Take the fast and easy road to ruin. But no, we'd like to go the slow, nails on the chalkboard incompetent, let's torture someone way. We'd like to say we love our spouse and don't want to hurt them, but we just can't keep it in our pants. We're going to volunteer someone else for a soul flaying. We're going to anesthetize someone else, someone we say we love, and then wake them up in about seven months, after every last bit of love has been stripped from them while they were unconscious. Because we love them and don't want to hurt them.

Or get some counseling or present an actual complicated issue to pick through.

Something more difficult than "Sometimes I wanna have sex and my wife thinks I'm unappealing."

So I'll call it what I think it is. Being sadistic and masochistic, in the closet, calling it boredom because they don't know themselves terribly well and can't put their fingers on it, going out and being stupid and experimenting in the fun world of disease and emotional adrenaline junkieism masquerading as boredom, and shredding people trying to care for them because that's what shredding trust systematically does.

 

[Xenolan]

I hope she divorces you`re cheating ass and finds a man who will love and respect her, cuz YOU don`t.

I'd like to point out that I haven't cheated on her. I am simply thinking about it. Last time I checked, the Thought Police haven't been empowered to make arrests. It is love and respect which keeps me from taking that step. If you feel that a man should go through life without ever even thinking about cheating on someone, then to that I say: What is the color of the sky in your world? It happens to be a natural impulse to want to have sex with more than one person. A decent person in a committed relationship suppresses that impulse, but it gets a hell of a lot stronger when that one person just isn't interested.

Maybe if he stopped thinking with his cock and gave her more affection like cuddles maybe she would feel loved. And why should she give all in the relationship? It works both ways actually.

If I thought with my cock, I'd be out there using it. And if you'd bothered to actually ask me instead of jumping to conclusions in a single bound, you'd know that I offer cuddles, shoulder massage, affection, small gifts, words of endearment, romantic gestures, and love on a constant basis. For that matter, so does she. It's only when it comes to sex that things turn cold - and it's not because I'm holding back. I think it's amusing that you assume I'm being cold and distant when I've made it pretty clear that I love my wife very much and it's tearing me apart that I have these physical needs that go unsatisfied. Do you always assume that if there's a problem with a hetero couple, it must be the man's fault? That women can do no wrong? Or do you just figure that any man who actually wants sex must be some kind of jerk?

I give plenty in my relationship. She does also. But she doesn't give her body, which is something that I happen to feel is a pretty important thing for a married couple. Furthermore, I will not be shamed by you just because I want to have sex. You have no business judging me based on a few paragraphs which you apparently didn't even read all that carefully, so take your self-righteousness elsewhere.

 

[TBKahuna123]

Wow! Xenolan, that is an amazingly mature, lucid post, way more mature than what I was gonna say. Once again you prove that I do understand you and that you ARE the type of guy I think you are.

Now, to Mary Hall: Damn girl, chill out. You're missing the point, both Xenolan's and Mine. He's right, the physical side of a marriage is VERY important. Asking one partner, male or female, to supress their natural sexual instincts is asking an awful lot of anyone. To then expect them to not be tempted or contemplate straying is unrealistic. We're all humans with instincts and primal desires, and those can have a strong pull. He hasn't strayed, he's said that a dozen times, and he hasn't because he loves his wife. That's EXACTLY what you said he should do. That's exactly why I didn't when I was in his situation. That doesn't mean I wasn't tempted a time or two.

To Recidiva: Your evaluation of Xenolan and how he views his wife is totally off base. He's said a number of times that he adores his wife and does view her as a treasure, does put that work into his relationship, but still there's this wall on the physical side of their relationship. To label him as anything other than a sexually frustrated husband is unfair. He's not cheated on his wife, he simply admitted that he's been tempted because of this frustration. He's been tempted, but he's resisted. Shit, to me that sounds like he's the anithesis of what you described.

Yes I'm jumping to his defense because I think this guy really loves his wife and is fighting to stay faithful. Say what you want, that's not easy. If the physical side of a relationship weren't important, we wouldn't be here on this board, would we? I say bravo Xenolan, bravo for loving your wife enought NOT to give into that temptation. We should be praising him, not degrading him for his honesty. Sometimes I dont think guys are given enough credit. I know he didn't come looking for praise for doing something he's supposed to do anyway, but in this day and age of rampant cheating, I think it'snoteworthy when a guy who is honestly facing temptation is able to stay true to his vows. Unfortunately, he's in the minority, I think.

 

[Recidiva]

Wow! Xenolan, that is an amazingly mature, lucid post, way more mature than what I was gonna say. Once again you prove that I do understand you and that you ARE the type of guy I think you are.

Now, to Mary Hall: Damn girl, chill out. You're missing the point, both Xenolan's and Mine. He's right, the physical side of a marriage is VERY important. Asking one partner, male or female, to supress their natural sexual instincts is asking an awful lot of anyone. To then expect them to not be tempted or contemplate straying is unrealistic. We're all humans with instincts and primal desires, and those can have a strong pull. He hasn't strayed, he's said that a dozen times, and he hasn't because he loves his wife. That's EXACTLY what you said he should do. That's exactly why I didn't when I was in his situation. That doesn't mean I wasn't tempted a time or two.

To Recidiva: Your evaluation of Xenolan and how he views his wife is totally off base. He's said a number of times that he adores his wife and does view her as a treasure, does put that work into his relationship, but still there's this wall on the physical side of their relationship. To label him as anything other than a sexually frustrated husband is unfair. He's not cheated on his wife, he simply admitted that he's been tempted because of this frustration. He's been tempted, but he's resisted. Shit, to me that sounds like he's the anithesis of what you described.

Yes I'm jumping to his defense because I think this guy really loves his wife and is fighting to stay faithful. Say what you want, that's not easy. If the physical side of a relationship weren't important, we wouldn't be here on this board, would we? I say bravo Xenolan, bravo for loving your wife enought NOT to give into that temptation. We should be praising him, not degrading him for his honesty. Sometimes I dont think guys are given enough credit. I know he didn't come looking for praise for doing something he's supposed to do anyway, but in this day and age of rampant cheating, I think it'snoteworthy when a guy who is honestly facing temptation is able to stay true to his vows. Unfortunately, he's in the minority, I think.

Well, I believe in personal demons. I tend to take these things out to their conclusions, so I'm discussing worse case scenarios. I'm actually trying to help. If I weren't trying to help, I wouldn't be providing an antithesis. Or have you never heard of a Devil's Advocate?

 

[TBKahuna123]

Well, I believe in personal demons. I tend to take these things out to their conclusions, so I'm discussing worse case scenarios. I'm actually trying to help. If I weren't trying to help, I wouldn't be providing an antithesis. Or have you never heard of a Devil's Advocate?

Sure I have, I just couldn't see the horns through your halo.

 

[SweetErika]

Wow! Xenolan, that is an amazingly mature, lucid post, way more mature than what I was gonna say. Once again you prove that I do understand you and that you ARE the type of guy I think you are.

Now, to Mary Hall: Damn girl, chill out. You're missing the point, both Xenolan's and Mine. He's right, the physical side of a marriage is VERY important. Asking one partner, male or female, to supress their natural sexual instincts is asking an awful lot of anyone. To then expect them to not be tempted or contemplate straying is unrealistic. We're all humans with instincts and primal desires, and those can have a strong pull. He hasn't strayed, he's said that a dozen times, and he hasn't because he loves his wife. That's EXACTLY what you said he should do. That's exactly why I didn't when I was in his situation. That doesn't mean I wasn't tempted a time or two.

To Recidiva: Your evaluation of Xenolan and how he views his wife is totally off base. He's said a number of times that he adores his wife and does view her as a treasure, does put that work into his relationship, but still there's this wall on the physical side of their relationship. To label him as anything other than a sexually frustrated husband is unfair. He's not cheated on his wife, he simply admitted that he's been tempted because of this frustration. He's been tempted, but he's resisted. Shit, to me that sounds like he's the anithesis of what you described.

Yes I'm jumping to his defense because I think this guy really loves his wife and is fighting to stay faithful. Say what you want, that's not easy. If the physical side of a relationship weren't important, we wouldn't be here on this board, would we? I say bravo Xenolan, bravo for loving your wife enought NOT to give into that temptation. We should be praising him, not degrading him for his honesty. Sometimes I dont think guys are given enough credit. I know he didn't come looking for praise for doing something he's supposed to do anyway, but in this day and age of rampant cheating, I think it'snoteworthy when a guy who is honestly facing temptation is able to stay true to his vows. Unfortunately, he's in the minority, I think.

Fantastic post, and I'll echo that sentiment. I don't recall how long you've gone without sex, Xenolan, but I agree it's pretty telling that you're still just thinking about cheating.

My husband and I held off on sex a few years ago for a couple of 6-12 month periods, and even though we were doing everything but penetration, my husband really missed the intimacy. We both knew it was temporary, but I wouldn't fault him for considering cheating if it wasn't. All that I ask is for him to let me know beforehand so I have the opportunity to fix it, prepare myself, give my blessing, work something out, etc. I prefer the painful truth to deception by someone I love and trust, for him to have his needs met (including elsewhere), and for neither of us to be plagued by guilt. We've talked about all of this because we know things can change and want to avoid being in your position.

I hope you find a solution that will minimize heartache and guilt for both of you.

 

[Recidiva]

Sure I have, I just couldn't see the horns through your halo.

I'm a fan of layers

But then again I'm a lying slut bitch whore fucking savior where have you been why didn't anybody tell me that sooner holy shit kind of person.

Very virulent diseases are prevented by weakened forms of them, they're called vaccines.

Sometimes I stick people with icky ideas on purpose.

I'm cruel.

But I wouldn't say anything if someone didn't ask first.

I'm an ethical lying slut bitch whore.

 

[Mary Hall]

Now, to Mary Hall: Damn girl, chill out

I`m not in the fucking mood to chill out

 

[TBKahuna123]

All that I ask is for him to let me know beforehand so I have the opportunity to fix it, prepare myself, give my blessing, work something out, etc.

Exactly. One of the things that my wife and I agreed on right from the start was that if it ever got so bad, for any reason, that we seriously started thinking about cheating, that we would talk it out. If we discovered we couldn't fix the issue, we'd call it quits, but we'd damn sure try to fix it before we strayed. Communication, blah blah blah and all that.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I`m not in the fucking mood to chill out

I could tell! Someone needs a hug.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I'm a fan of layers

But then again I'm a lying slut bitch whore fucking savior where have you been why didn't anybody tell me that sooner holy shit kind of person.

Very virulent diseases are prevented by weakened forms of them, they're called vaccines.

Sometimes I stick people with icky ideas on purpose.

I'm cruel.

But I wouldn't say anything if someone didn't ask first.

I'm an ethical lying slut bitch whore.

Ahh where were you when I was single? I like complex women.

 

[Recidiva]

Ahh where were you when I was single? I like complex women.

I was getting more complex and playing with complex men.

 

[TBKahuna123]

I was getting more complex and playing with complex men.

Ahhh well that would have ruled me out. I'm simple, kinda like an old loyal hound dog. All you have to do is feed me and pet me and I'll follow you around forever.

The only problem is I do have a tendancy to drool and try to hump your leg, but my wife's almost got me house broken!

 

[Recidiva]

Ahhh well that would have ruled me out. I'm simple, kinda like an old loyal hound dog. All you have to do is feed me and pet me and I'll follow you around forever.

The only problem is I do have a tendancy to drool and try to hump your leg, but my wife's almost got me house broken!

My husband has volunteered for the job of protecting other men from me. It is a noble sacrifice.

 

[TBKahuna123]

My husband has volunteered for the job of protecting other men from me. It is a noble sacrifice.

LOL! Would this be considered, taking one for the team?

 

[Recidiva]

LOL! Would this be considered, taking one for the team?

It's all very vile and noble