How to. . . Cheat. Yes, Cheat.

[fsumusic1981]

In browsing this forum, I've noticed a dearth of information on how to cheat on your partner without getting caught. People do have ongoing 'monogamous' affairs, once-in-a-blue moon flings, and regular extramarital/extrarelationship multipartner sex.

So why the lack of information? Given that those who cheat do so without wanting to get caught, there should be some kind of "how to" manual on the subject.

So my question is this:

To those of you who have had such flings, what are your secrets to not getting caught? If you were caught, how did it happen? What could you have done differently to prevent it?

If you and your lover were both cheating and only one of you were caught, what did the other one of you do that prevented it from happening?

And if people who have been cheated on want to share, how did you catch your partner? What did they do that gave them away? What missteps allowed you to catch them?

- - - - - -

On a side note:

One reason for the lack of information might be that people who even bring up the possibility of cheating on these boards seem to get bombarded with a litany of reasons why they are immoral, heathens, etc. These actions have a "chilling effect" on free speech, and are contrary to everything this community is supposed to be about.

That said, I think this question will earn me the ire of some of you. But I have asked it anyways.

 

[silverwhisper]

fsumusic quoth
these actions have a "chilling effect" on free speech, and are contrary to everything this community is supposed to be about.

you know, you probably would have done well w/out this little self-righteous bit. don't be silly. on an internet discussion forum, everybody has free speech. if people can speak to how to cheat, others can just as reasonably think it bad and tell you so.

ed

 

[Eilan]

I know that this is the How-To Board, but I really think you'd have better luck asking this question on The Playground. It's been my experience that they're more tolerant of cheating over there. (Ok--I should clarify--not all of the Playgrounders are that way, but I've noticed that positive reponses to cheating are more likely to be found over there than anywhere else on Lit.)

Those of us who have been on the receiving end of such behavior find it difficult to condone cheating. I'd say the same thing, however, when it comes to those who ask for advice on any behavior in which one demonstrates a lack of respect for one's partner.

One reason for the lack of information might be that people who even bring up the possibility of cheating on these boards seem to get bombarded with a litany of reasons why they are immoral, heathens, etc. These actions have a "chilling effect" on free speech, and are contrary to everything this community is supposed to be about.

What is this community supposed to be about? There was another recent thread in which the thread starter claimed that some of the responses violated the "Spirit of Literotica." The "free speech" that you speak of works both ways. If you want to stifle the opinions of those that don't agree with you, then isn't that also a violation of the spirit of Literotica?

On a forum such as this, you're going to get a variety of opinions, and not all of them are going to agree with yours. If that offends you, I suggest that you think long and hard before you hit "Submit Reply."

 

[Recidiva]

Cheat.

Get caught.

Cheat.

Get caught.

The trick is finding people stupid enough to fall for it repeatedly.

 

[BarnabySchmidt]

Interesting thread, FSU. Here my $.02:

Background: I've been with two women outside of my past relationships. And I was not caught.

I chalk this up to

(1) Being honest with the women that I was in a relationship. I think that if you lie to a woman you are seeing in an extra-marital way you are asking to get caught.

(2) Not taking chances. I never did anything "risky" like try to sneak out and get laid while my partner was asleep. I always played in safe and planned my encounters well.

(3) Never did a thing at my house. I never slept with, kissed, or even talked to another girl at my house. This would be asking to get caught. Too easy to leave evidnece laying around. Neutral territory (or their place- even better) is the way to go.

(4) Respect. I always respected the ladies I slept with, was never rude to them, and all that jazz.

(5) Chose them carefully. I never just picked out some random woman to try to bed. I always found a girl I actually liked, and who I could enjoy being with.

That's all.

And my $.02 about what ed said in the post above. It goes against my better judgment to agree with FSU (he is, after all a Noles fan, obviously, and I attend UF and am a Gators fan. For those of you unfamilar with the rivalry, it is one hell of a rivalry).

Ed's right that everybody has free speech, but FSU is right about people not wanting to post about certain topics because of how much ridicule they get.

But I get the impression FSU was just asking people not to turn this thread into a discussion on whether or not cheating is right/wrong. I don't see how this is really stifiling free speech. It seems like more of a plea not to commandeer this thread and turn it into a discussion of morality.

jeez I wrote alot.

Hope it helps, FSU. Just understand that some Seminoles are gonna get eaten alive at this years game! If you dare come to the Swamp to watch, be prepared to enjoy that I-75/I-10 "Trail of Tears" back to Tallahassee.

 

[Eilan]

But I get the impression FSU was just asking people not to turn this thread into a discussion on whether or not cheating is right/wrong. I don't see how this is really stifiling free speech. It seems like more of a plea not to commandeer this thread and turn it into a discussion of morality.

I think he damn well knew what he was doing when he opened this can of worms.

 

[silverwhisper]

i'm not prepared to make that assumption, myself.

ed

 

[Recidiva]

If you wish to cheat you must be willing to lie. That means you can't really care for the woman you're with or any of the women you're going to cheat with.

If you care for your pleasure and your pleasure alone you have a good start.

You're going to need a lot of women and if that's cool with you, you'll probably drive the woman you started with to discover that you're a cold heartless shell of a man and she'll cheat on you too.

That's really the main trick to cheating. Not caring about who it hurts, including yourself.

Go.

 

[Guest]

 

[latebloomer124]

Not being self righteous, but when I am in love, no one else exists for me. The thought of cheating doesn't even enter my brain. I wouldn't be in a monogamous relationship if I weren't in love, and if my man didn't share my feelings, I wouldn't want him. I'm curious as to the kind of man/woman who would enter into such a relationship and then go to such lengths to break the trust.

 

[fsumusic1981]

sorry

I'm sorry I posted that. I was just trying to do what Barnaby said- I didn't want this thread to become a debate about if cheating was right or wrong. I want it to be a discussion of how to successfully cheat. Morality & Ethics aside, this is something people do look for information on, and I'd think Literotica would be a place that it would be easily found, and the how to board was the appropriate place.

I don't want people not to be able to speak their minds if they disagree with me- THAT is stifiling free speech. I never want to do that.

But on a "how to" board, I would rather see the discussion stay in the realm of "how to" do something. I think it's unfortunate when things get way off track.

I just want this to be a discussion on how to cheat successfully. I know that sounds abhorrent to many people, but so do some of the other things openly discussed in these forums.

If there's anything I can do to make this thread survive I am willing to do that. I just want the information to get out there.

Thanks Barnaby for your post, that is what I was looking to get from this thread. On a side note, I don't think the Gators are gonna beat FSU anytime soon. I got my tickets and will be there to see 80,000 UF fans crying when they get trounced by the Seminoles. Maybe your crying eyes will be among them.

 

[Recidiva]

Not being self righteous, but when I am in love, no one else exists for me. The thought of cheating doesn't even enter my brain. I wouldn't be in a monogamous relationship if I weren't in love, and if my man didn't share my feelings, I wouldn't want him. I'm curious as to the kind of man/woman who would enter into such a relationship and then go to such lengths to break the trust.

Someone for whom enough is never enough, would be my guess.

Greed is their poison.

 

[silverwhisper]

FSUmusic quoth
but on a "how to" board, i would rather see the discussion stay in the realm of "how to" do something. i think it's unfortunate when things get way off track.

I just want this to be a discussion on how to cheat successfully. i know that sounds abhorrent to many people, but so do some of the other things openly discussed in these forums.

philosophically, i agree, but i clearly do not speak for the majority of the respondents to date.

i think eilan's suggestion about posting this in the playground might actually be your best course of action. if the initial responses are anything to judge by (and frankly, i think they are), consider giving that some thought, perhaps w/ a link to this thread in that new one.

ed

 

[Recidiva]

I think I am trying to be helpful, but you have to define "success"

It's like someone saying "I want to jump off a bridge and not hit the water"

Sure, you can bungee jump, it's illegal. It's dangerous. There are warnings and likely you're an adrenaline-addicted idiot.

You want I should not answer the question?

 

[Mary Hall]

Its a very shitty thing to cheat on one you love, personally if you want to fuck other people don`t get into a relationship.

 

[mrpenis]

As goofy as this sounds, I believe you can still love and care for somebody even though you have cheated. Many people that cheat still love their other half, but need that something different, another kind of spark to stay happy. I love McDonalds, I eat it quite a bit out of necessity being on the road traveling since it's convient, but it's nice to have Arby's, Hardee's, Burger King etc for a change. I'm willing to say not everybody is in a relationship where everything in the sack is up to either of their standards, even after talks, experiments, etc...some people are great to hang out with, great in everyother aspect but just lacking what the other person is really desiring and thus cheating is born-the search for that something the other thinks/knows is missing.

Most will say that cheating is a result of a bad marriage, not always. I've known a few folks that have been happily married and have veered off to either get a little excitement and break from the norm, or are just a little more sexually agressive than their mate and need an outlet-not every couple on here or in the real world is going to be 100% compatiable in EVERY aspect especially sexually, we all make sacrifices and that's what makes a relationship a relationship. This post may sounds like a contradiction to itself and some may never understand it, but there will be others that relate to what I'm talking about. If we as humans were truly content with things, then why do we trade in cars, buy new houses, etc...upgrade yes, but CHANGE is the biggest reason. I'm not doctor, but knowing people in general I dont think we're programmed to be happy/content with EVERYTHING all the time, and I think sexually some of us are programmed differently and thus we have forums and discussions such as this trying to learn and understand more about ourselves. Life would be pretty boring if we were all the same...kinda like eating at the same restraunt, driving the same car, having the same clothes, hair style, etc...for the rest of our lives. Some folks are content no matter what and the other half is always searching for something different.

Barnaby has hit the mark with his suggestions!!

Let the barage begin LOL!!

 

[Recidiva]

As goofy as this sounds, I believe you can still love and care for somebody even though you have cheated. Many people that cheat still love their other half, but need that something different, another kind of spark to stay happy. I love McDonalds, I eat it quite a bit out of necessity being on the road traveling since it's convient, but it's nice to have Arby's, Hardee's, Burger King etc for a change. I'm willing to say not everybody is in a relationship where everything in the sack is up to either of their standards, even after talks, experiments, etc...some people are great to hang out with, great in everyother aspect but just lacking what the other person is really desiring and thus cheating is born-the search for that something the other thinks/knows is missing.

Most will say that cheating is a result of a bad marriage, not always. I've known a few folks that have been happily married and have veered off to either get a little excitement and break from the norm, or are just a little more sexually agressive than their mate and need an outlet-not every couple on here or in the real world is going to be 100% compatiable in EVERY aspect especially sexually, we all make sacrifices and that's what makes a relationship a relationship. This post may sounds like a contradiction to itself and some may never understand it, but there will be others that relate to what I'm talking about. If we as humans were truly content with things, then why do we trade in cars, buy new houses, etc...upgrade yes, but CHANGE is the biggest reason. I'm not doctor, but knowing people in general I dont think we're programmed to be happy/content with EVERYTHING all the time, and I think sexually some of us are programmed differently and thus we have forums and discussions such as this trying to learn and understand more about ourselves. Life would be pretty boring if we were all the same...kinda like eating at the same restraunt, driving the same car, having the same clothes, hair style, etc...for the rest of our lives. Some folks are content no matter what and the other half is always searching for something different.

Barnaby has hit the mark with his suggestions!!

Let the barage begin LOL!!

That's fine, but why wouldn't you allow your spouse that same option, let her eat out, so to speak?

I think what you're describing is called being a hypocrite.

 

[Guest]

 

[mrpenis]

That's fine, but why wouldn't you allow your spouse that same option, let her eat out, so to speak?

I think what you're describing is called being a hypocrite.

I never said I would'nt allow my spouse that same option, and for that matter maybe she is?? and thus relating back to the original topic of this post-how to cheat without getting caught lol

I'm a huge believer in karma and what goes around comes around...to those that play this game, find out you were on the short end and then go into a jealious fit...that's your own fault for being ignorant. If your willing to play the game, expect to be played as well, and deal with it instead of acting surprised and angry. "People in glass hoouses should'nt throw stones", or "the pot calling the kettle black" just be emotionally prepared to take what you've dished out or dont do it...if you dont, then yes my freind, you are a hippocrit.

 

[mrpenis]

LOL

Comparing what at least one person considers a relationship based on trust, to a fucking hamburger?

LMFAO!! does'nt sound as eliquent when worded like that LOL!

and for the record, your motto in your sig has given me both extrmeme joy and extreme headaches

 

[AllFor1_1ForAll]

Bravo mrpenis!

I agree. Well said. I love the analogy. Brings to mind the M&M analogy that I like so much. Picture this:

Your in a room, all alone, given a pack of M&M's. But you're only allowed to eat the yellow ones. You like the yellow ones. They taste great. Probably as good as the other ones. But you eat a yellow one, and another, and then another. But after a while, dammit....I WANNA FUCKIN RED ONE!. FUCK!.

As goofy as this sounds, I believe you can still love and care for somebody even though you have cheated. Many people that cheat still love their other half, but need that something different, another kind of spark to stay happy. I love McDonalds, I eat it quite a bit out of necessity being on the road traveling since it's convient, but it's nice to have Arby's, Hardee's, Burger King etc for a change. I'm willing to say not everybody is in a relationship where everything in the sack is up to either of their standards, even after talks, experiments, etc...some people are great to hang out with, great in everyother aspect but just lacking what the other person is really desiring and thus cheating is born-the search for that something the other thinks/knows is missing.

Most will say that cheating is a result of a bad marriage, not always. I've known a few folks that have been happily married and have veered off to either get a little excitement and break from the norm, or are just a little more sexually agressive than their mate and need an outlet-not every couple on here or in the real world is going to be 100% compatiable in EVERY aspect especially sexually, we all make sacrifices and that's what makes a relationship a relationship. This post may sounds like a contradiction to itself and some may never understand it, but there will be others that relate to what I'm talking about. If we as humans were truly content with things, then why do we trade in cars, buy new houses, etc...upgrade yes, but CHANGE is the biggest reason. I'm not doctor, but knowing people in general I dont think we're programmed to be happy/content with EVERYTHING all the time, and I think sexually some of us are programmed differently and thus we have forums and discussions such as this trying to learn and understand more about ourselves. Life would be pretty boring if we were all the same...kinda like eating at the same restraunt, driving the same car, having the same clothes, hair style, etc...for the rest of our lives. Some folks are content no matter what and the other half is always searching for something different.

Barnaby has hit the mark with his suggestions!!

Let the barage begin LOL!!

 

[Guest]

 

[Recidiva]

I never said I would'nt allow my spouse that same option, and for that matter maybe she is?? and thus relating back to the original topic of this post-how to cheat without getting caught lol

I'm a huge believer in karma and what goes around comes around...to those that play this game, find out you were on the short end and then go into a jealious fit...that's your own fault for being ignorant. If your willing to play the game, expect to be played as well, and deal with it instead of acting surprised and angry. "People in glass hoouses should'nt throw stones", or "the pot calling the kettle black" just be emotionally prepared to take what you've dished out or dont do it...if you dont, then yes my freind, you are a hippocrit.

I'm not the one cheating. I do know better than to start looking behind me or measuring my words carefully or start trying to make excuses, or looking like a paranoid teenager in the principal's office, looking stupid. That's for those who have a fetish for looking that way and getting off on "getting caught." I don't have one of those.

Using the food comparison I never understood. I didn't marry a "dish," I married a chef. He knows what I like and he knows who I am and he knows how to cook. Someone shoving something greasy in my hand doesn't cut it.

If that's what you're up for, that's great, but I'm happy with what I chose.

Why not just have an open relationship where you approach a spouse and say "I'd like to have sex with other people, would you?"

 

[mrpenis]

Using the food comparison I never understood. I didn't marry a "dish," I married a chef. He knows what I like and he knows who I am and he knows how to cook. Someone shoving something greasy in my hand doesn't cut it.

Why not just have an open relationship where you approach a spouse and say "I'd like to have sex with other people, would you?"

I'm not trying to condone cheating, just posting for debation or "FOOD for thought"

I'm willing to bet your one of the lucky ones that married the chef, but I'm also willing to bet for every 1 person that finds a chef to marry there's 100 more that are happy just having somebody else in the kitchen even if they cant cook. The ratio for people in your shoes vs the rest of the world is probably alot higher than that (1 out of 100) seems very generous considering all the couples on earth), we just do what we do and try to get by making the best of our time here. Watch Discovery channel sometime and look at the native tribes still in existence, or even animal coloines that are'nt influenced by our "high society" and get back to primal roots...many tribe leaders have multiple partners same with the alpha males in the animal kingdom-multiple parnters. But we're too sophisticated for that now in this day and age-especially with all the politically correctness.

Society seems to move in the direction of the most common acceptance for less chance of trouble going against mass belief so in a sense, it was probably some piss poor performing companions that all got together and started shunning the fact their mates went elsewhere and then the word spread into the heads of other who were'nt worth a crap in teh sack and it spread like an epidemic...multiple parnters are bad, cheating is bad...you need to stick with one person no matter what, then some bleeding heart came up with wedding vowes

That story may be a little exaugherated, but best I could come up with spur of the moment

 

[Recidiva]

I'm not trying to condone cheating, just posting for debation or "FOOD for thought"

I'm willing to bet your one of the lucky ones that married the chef, but I'm also willing to bet for every 1 person that finds a chef to marry there's 100 more that are happy just having somebody else in the kitchen even if they cant cook. The ratio for people in your shoes vs the rest of the world is probably alot higher than that (1 out of 100) seems very generous considering all the couples on earth), we just do what we do and try to get by making the best of our time here. Watch Discovery channel sometime and look at the native tribes still in existence, or even animal coloines that are'nt influenced by our "high society" and get back to primal roots...many tribe leaders have multiple partners same with the alpha males in the animal kingdom-multiple parnters. But we're too sophisticated for that now in this day and age-especially with all the politically correctness.

Society seems to move in the direction of the most common acceptance for less chance of trouble going against mass belief so in a sense, it was probably some piss poor performing companions that all got together and started shunning the fact their mates went elsewhere and then the word spread into the heads of other who were'nt worth a crap in teh sack and it spread like an epidemic...multiple parnters are bad, cheating is bad...you need to stick with one person no matter what, then some bleeding heart came up with wedding vowes

That story may be a little exaugherated, but best I could come up with spur of the moment

I'm just a fan of a little less settling and a little more rowdy.

So go back to your wife or whatever and get a divorce or open up the marriage.

People settle. Stop with the settling.

Someone who is cheating is selling themselves short or selling their spouses short. Set yourselves loose and find someone better, someone who will openly cheat ON you and you can both go have some fun.

Why be voluntarily caged and desperate?

If you're afraid of your wife or afraid of paying alimony fine, say that. "I'm afraid my wife will divorce me and I'll be poor."

She'll still divorce you and now you're giving her grounds.

Ewww.