How not to hurt him

[massage45678]

I finally hung out with Ryan today. I'd been putting him off for a few days because I didn't want to see him and have to deal with all the messy emotional stuff.

As soon as we got inside he hugged me and had his hands all over me. then he said will you take me back? I know I've treated you badly, but I'm lost with out you I love you.

Saturday night while I was with Patrick.. He sent me a couple text and picture messages. 2 of them were of his dick with messages saying all hard for you. The text message described what he'd like to do to me in great detail as well as Can I come pick you up.. I need you right now. I didn't reply to that one.

Patrick and I are doing well. I'm totally in love with him. We haven't said it yet, but I think he feels the same way. Saturday night and Sunday morning were awesome. We made love and fell asleep. When I woke up Sunday morning his arm was wrapped around me and he was kind of nuzzling me He looked so content.. it was really wonderful to feel that kind of love from him.

When Ryan hugged and kissed me... I felt NOTHING. Not a thing.. I told him I had to think about it because I didn't want to drop the bomb on him right there, but I don't know how to tell him I'm not in love with him and not crush him. I also don't know if I mention Patrick or not when I tell him I'm not in love with him.

I can't cease all contact with Ryan because he owes me money (1,000+).

Help!

 

[bobsgirl]

I finally hung out with Ryan today. I'd been putting him off for a few days because I didn't want to see him and have to deal with all the messy emotional stuff.

As soon as we got inside he hugged me and had his hands all over me. then he said will you take me back? I know I've treated you badly, but I'm lost with out you I love you.

Saturday night while I was with Patrick.. He sent me a couple text and picture messages. 2 of them were of his dick with messages saying all hard for you. The text message described what he'd like to do to me in great detail as well as Can I come pick you up.. I need you right now. I didn't reply to that one.

Patrick and I are doing well. I'm totally in love with him. We haven't said it yet, but I think he feels the same way. Saturday night and Sunday morning were awesome. We made love and fell asleep. When I woke up Sunday morning his arm was wrapped around me and he was kind of nuzzling me He looked so content.. it was really wonderful to feel that kind of love from him.

When Ryan hugged and kissed me... I felt NOTHING. Not a thing.. I told him I had to think about it because I didn't want to drop the bomb on him right there, but I don't know how to tell him I'm not in love with him and not crush him. I also don't know if I mention Patrick or not when I tell him I'm not in love with him.

I can't cease all contact with Ryan because he owes me money (1,000+).

Help!

You have to be totally honest with him, and the sooner the better. If there's no hope of reconciliation, don't string him along. Will he be hurt? Of course he will be. He'll be hurt but it's unavoidable. Tell him in no uncertain terms that it is over. In the long run, it's kinder than letting him think he still has a chance.

The money he owes you makes this a lot more complicated. I don't suppose you signed some sort of loan agreement, did you? Not trying to be snotty, but good luck getting it back. You may end up having to sue him to get it back.

Edited to add: If you really mean it about it being over, don't put yourself into situations with him that could get out of hand. Don't be alone with him if you can help it. Just my 2 cents.

 

[emap]

What she said.

Though if you did not do a loan agreement, well bad bad girl.

OK actually if you did not do one and do want to get the money back, you can string him along a little and tell him you are very happy with Patrick, though do not regret your relationship with him.

If he does not back off a little at least, tell him your not going to sleep around so stop being that guy. You basically are telling him no chance creep, but without saying it.

However, if you did not do a loan agreement, well good luck suing him for the funds back, and you probably don't really have to worry about him paying you back or not anyway since he almost assuredly won't, he is just using the fact you want the money back to stay close to you. If he finds a girlfriend he will almost definitely stop talking to you.

 

[simplegirl]

Let Ryan know that there is flat out no reconciliation possible. You may have to cut your losses regarding the money, but sometimes it's worth it just to move on.

I personally find it very creepy that the guy would send you pics of his genitals as a method to find his way back into your heart. It's showing which brain he's thinking with.

Knowing this, you will have to be very clear that it's over. If you string him along you're sending the wrong message and you don't want to wind up with a stalker on your hands.

If he has a key to your place, change the locks, pronto!

Don't let ambiguity with Ryan ruin what you have with Patrick.