How much do you value creativity in BDSM partners?

[Mr Blonde]

Let me start by defining creativity as imaginative originality and expressiveness.

As it applies to a partner, we can be thinking in a strictly BDSM sense or in a relationship sense. So it can be what happens during play and/or it can be outside hobbies beyond BDSM interaction.

For extra discussion, besides voting in a poll, what happened in your past relationships that made you value (or not value) creativity in partners?

 

[fallon2]

Somewhat Important

Creativity IS somewhat important but in the room I AM in control. However, it is before we go into the room that the sub and I have had long discussions of what interests us both.

If she decides to start running around the room (hard to find a good example) to my displeasure then she will be disciplined and her creativity will be for naught.

I am the one who is and should be creative.

 

[DarkLadyOfDeath]

This is most certaintly more of a dom/me question then a sub question... But a sub that expects the same thing everytime would be just as boreing as 'nilla sex.. or so I think. So as a sub to a dom..Being open adn not screaming my safeword everytime somethign new is worked with.. well that being open if not creative? I take openess as a sign of creativity... That and if you know down to each last muscle twitch whats goign to happen it takes much of the thrill away..

 

[Netzach]

very big deal to me, critical.

It's my job to see it controlled and channelled.

I also enjoy being pleasantly surprised, and seeing how a sub/bottom will navigate the situations they are put in.

 

[Four_Inch_Heels]

I agree this is more of a question to Dom/mes than subs. I feel I need to be creative, and come up with new ideas and scenes. My boys just have to give Me good feedback.

 

[shy slave]

Not sure it is more a Dom/Me Q than a sub Q.

Or am I just being difficult ?? As a sub I feel I need to be creative in order to hold His interest. I have no wish to be a doormat, nor does He want one. In a specific and intense scene I love His creativity and wondering what next. Especially at those times He leaves me waiting in position for a long period of time, not knowing what will happen. I for my part am expected to write scene fantasies to Him when He demands. They may or may not be played out later. Outside the scene, he turns the 'D' aspect on and of when it pleases Him. For example in the middle of a discussion if I tease Him, He may let it pass or He may respond accordingly If when we met I had nothing to offer but my body, I would not feel I was attending to Him appropriately. He wants to talk of other things and hear opinions on other things. In this way we are both creative as part of making the relationship work. Additionaly there is another thread that asks how to approach a PYL if you want soemthing different. Believe me that takes creativity, I am not a man hater but even in a hetro-style vanilla relationship if you approach him at a bad time or suggest in a wrong way...you'll never get your view across!! Incidently sorry about the badly laid out post, my return key is on strike!!

 

[AngelicAssassin]

Re: Not sure it is more a Dom/Me Q than a sub Q.

... sorry about the badly laid out post ...

i understood what you had to say and agree with your points, smiling and nodding at your examples.

Quite simply, bring your A game and play to win ...

or get your ass off the field.

 

[shy slave]

Re: Re: Not sure it is more a Dom/Me Q than a sub Q.

i understood what you had to say and agree with your points, smiling and nodding at your examples.

Quite simply, bring your A game and play to win ...

or get your ass off the field.

You say it so much better than me

 

[WriterDom]

Creativity isn't hard if you think of scenes/activities as menu items and have enough to vary them. And throw in surprises once in a while. I would think if a sub knew what was coming it would take a lot of the fun out.

Passion and intelligence I value in a sub. Creativity is too much to ask of a sub just finding her sub wings. I've found that experienced subs don't enjoy directing either, though I'd be open to suggestions. The typical response is "whatever you want, Sir."

 

[AngelicAssassin]

The typical response is "whatever you want, Sir."

Which brings to mind that oft used cutting remark, "If i wanted your opinion, i'd ask for it."

Guess what pyl ... you just got asked and failed miserably.

She that answers atypically, however falteringly, ... yeah, i had to look it up to make sure it was a word too ... shakes loose any jaded boredom on my part.

 

[bridgeburner]

Creativity is vital regardless of the nature of the relationship --- assuming you want me to come back for seconds.

Certainly I've had relationships both sexual and non with boring people, but I don't keep those people in my life. Who wants to have the same old discussion or the same old sex every time? Where's the fun if there's no challenge or new ground to explore?


-B

 

[cellis]

I am smart and creative and it takes a lot to surprise me... I think creativity in a PYL is essential.

I don't want to second guess or think that it would have been better if it had been played out differently. I want to be able to get what I need and not have to think too much about it.

Oh and I do so love those clever, sly surprises.

 

[Mr Blonde]

CAN'T ANSWER/DON'T KNOW

Creativity is so rare that I can't call it a mandatory feature in a submissive girlfriend. As long as she appreciates my creativity we seem to do fine.

I have appreciated the more creative submissives I've had...it is a very nice trait...but I don't know if it in the top 10 bag of things needed for a successful relationship. If she is missing five other pieces, no amount of creativity from a submissive will make up the difference for me.

 

[s'lara]

Creativity is a valuable trait. Particularly for those who are running the train.

In regard to those relationships governed by D/s, and speaking fairly, it does fall on the Dominant to creatively use their property much of the time. If the relationship is one where the Dominant insists on controlling where and how the activities play out, it will also be the Dominant's responsibility to be creative enough to keep their own interests from lagging. Lets face it, a Dominant doesn't have to be creative or even interesting for their property ... that's at their discretion and they reserve the right to be glaringly creative or dull and predictable.

That said, if the creativeness and/or infusement of new and different activities is all on the Dominant, then it would stand to reason that eventually, the Dominant might hit a creative wall so to speak, no?

Maybe.

i guess it is possible that a Dominant could come up with inventive ways to approach BDSM for quite some time. i just think that realistically, it would be hard to maintain a new and fresh approach to every activity without some outside input (say from the submissive or other Dominants). For those who aren't in D/s relationships or don't mind input from the submissive, i don't see that as much of a problem. The more sources from which to obtain ideas is best. You never know what you will find.

lara

 

[bridgeburner]

I think perhaps I've got a different take on creativity than some. I'm not so much concerned with an endless supply of different activities to acheive certain ends as I am attracted to a flexibility of mind. Not just the capacity but the compulsion to look at things from multiple angles --- even those things which one generally takes for granted.

I suppose that's more curiosity than creativity but in my perfect world they walk hand in glove. Curiosity to explore, creativity to divine the tactics which get answers.


-B

 

[Evaleastaristev]

As a very bouncy personality, Master must be somewhat creative, in some way, even if it's not during play (though he is rather creative there), or I get bored and start trying to find something else to do. It's a trait of mine that I've never been able to get rid of, no matter how I try. In all my past relationships, no matter how much I loved my partner, as soon as I started to get bored and stayed that way for more than a week, it was time to move on.

On the other hand, I feel that my being creative keeps my partner's interest, so it's a two way street.