How long should you wait?

[Melody_lane]

So, you're seeing someone-you like them, you're attracted to them...etc. How long should you wait to have sex with them? What is proper?


This sounds like something you'd find the answer to on a Seinfeld episode.

 

[Bobtoad777]

I am not a good person to ask I have been waiting 25 years with out giving it up.

 

[Tamtam]

according to the magazine that is the expert source on everything about sex (joking!) Cosmo says the 10th date is the appropriate time. My current relationship we waited 3 months. I think it was the right time when we knew each other and trusted each other. I jumped into it in previous relationships and it just didnt feel right but i guess it also depends on the people involved. so i guess i didnt give you a real answer...whatever feels right and when you feel you can trust each other then thats the right time.

 

[Laurel]

I agree, whatever feels right. I think it's lame when women hold out just to make the man wait, or vice versa. At the same time, it's stupid to jump right into bed just to get his/her attention. It also depends on what you want out of the relationship. If this guy could be The One, you may want to take your time. If you just wanna have fun, then go for it.

Boy, was that helpful or what!?

 

[Ezzy]

Until you are comfortable...

With them,and even then please take care and play safe.

The proper time can be anytime after saying "Hello my name is," but what sort of impression do you think that one gives, LOL.

Standards vary across the globe, but if you date several times and feel comfortable with them, there are only your (the two of your) feelings to be concidered.


EZ http://smilecwm.tripod.com/cwm2/sleep.gif

 

[Nobody Special]

If it feels right then do it if it doesn't then don't.. Some people just want to be freinds and some want to be more, so my advice is "If it feels right then do it, if it doesn't then don't" but talk about it first and discuss it and then see where it goes from there.

E

 

[Wizard]

End of the first date too long?????????

Ok just kiding, I also think after a few dates if you think it is a good time and trust each other they hey go at it........................

 

[Alyrahh]

When you can ask yourself the question "Will I respect myself in the morning?" and answer "yes."

 

[teresafannin]

My sweetie & I had been dating for about a month & it just kind of happened. It worked out for us, we have been together for 4 years. We were both coming out of long-term relationships that had gone bad & were both so nervous. We have been through a lot together & are regaining the wonderful intimacy we used to have. I don't think there is any set time frame. Like the others said, if it feels right, you will know it. Good luck.

 

[BlondeBeauty]

Maybe I'm a little old fashioned, but my guy and I have been dating for over 2 years and just recently decided to explore "previously uncharted territory"...We both wanted to wait long enough to make sure that we would be together forever...I know-awwwww...I'm getting married! I'm getting married! *hangs head & mumbles "sorry"*

The best thing to do is talk about it and wait until you feel 100% comfortable...then have FUN...*blush*

 

[Latina]

Agree, when it feels right to BOTH of you. And equal desire, not one pressuring a reluctant partner into it. In our case, we had had "phone dates" for 6 weeks, and real dates for only about 2 weeks and "did it" because we both REALLY wanted to, on our 4th real date. That was the right moment for us, but others may be different. We've been married 4 years now, and still have a great marriage.

-- Latina

 

[Expertise]

Wait at least until after dinner.

If you don't your waiter demands a huge tip and the maitre d' tends to get snotty.

For fuck sake. If it feels right do it. Anything else is calculated, arbitrary and not nearly as much fun.

 

[Dixon Carter Lee]

Most traditional Etiquette Guides say that you should drop everything, fly to L.A., and immediately have thumping glorious sex with me, but that's, you know, only if you want to be traditional.

 

[*Eve*]

If you want to do it, do it when you want to as long as you will respect yourself the next day.

 

[Silverlily]

Wait at least until after dinner.

Dinner??

Go with whatever makes you both happy, proper died with gloves and veiled hats. Just because you don't wait eons doesn't mean he's not the one either. Sometimes two people just know they are perfect for each other right away.

 

[Gingersnap]

WHEN IS NOW AND NOW IS NEVER SOON ENOUGH

In the hallway off the concourse as you drop your luggage on the floor and rip at each other's clothes and flesh!!!!!!!!!

RESPECT who the hello cares about respect>>>>> I am talking serious animal lust now!!!!


Fluffing her hair and straighting her dress_----- I think it should be whenever you both are so tense a speed bump generates an earthquake.....

 

[Nicole]

So Roger you on the next flight or what???

This woman needs some and she needs it NOW

 

[ShyGoddess]

I, too, am not a good person to answer this question. 19(20 in January) years and counting.

 

[R Nitelight]

Can you wait until I finish typin

 

[Countess DeWinter]

I may not be the best one to ask...

It's best if YOU are comfortable with it...but I've been known to get that comfortable before the first date and before names are exchanged. But that was when I was much, MUCH younger. Like three months younger

 

[Melody_lane]

Most traditional Etiquette Guides say that you should drop everything, fly to L.A., and immediately have thumping glorious sex with me, but that's, you know, only if you want to be traditional.

TEASE!!!

Of course Dixers, (you don't mind if I call ya dixers, do ya dixie?) (ha!) ya know, I'm still waiting for you to seduce the young, yet nubile girl that you know I am.

But, then again I tend to go 'bumbling wannabe blonde' with just a hello...

Be wary with your wicked ways.

Damn, I need sleep.

[Edited by Melody_lane on 10-30-2000 at 07:05 PM]

 

[Jeff726]

I find it very funny people say that waiting is good, but some time ago I think it was the flamboyant Expertise that told me, "I think a good fuck would do you good right about now". lol hypocrite turd! j/k man

I say pretty much what everyone else says. Wait until the time is right. For me it won't be right for a long time that's just the way it is. I am proud to wait until I am in a serious committed relationship, preferably until I am married. There is no security for me in pre-marital sex. I'm not saying it is bad, just that it won't work for me.

Good thought-provoking thread Melody you deserve many kisses for this one! *kisses*



Jeff
need my beer and now

 

[Latina]

Agree with Jeff that you should be in a serious committed relationship, sex is better when it is powered by real love. Disagree about waiting until after marriage. The courtship leading up to marriage is when you find out all about each other, and you need to know the sexual side of each other, too. Finding out that sex doesn't work between you, AFTER marriage, is too late. First-time sex on your wedding night, when you're both tired and nervous, isn't a great idea either--wedding night sex should be memorable, and if you already know each other's likes, dislikes, and hot buttons, you have a better chance that it WILL be memorable. The TV show Sex and the City did a storyline on this earlier this season, one of the main characters got married, then afterward found out that she had a very high sex drive and he had absolutly NONE! He literally preferred playing tennis to making love. She was frustrated, talked about it with him, went to counseling, no change in him, and she finally divorced him.

I believe in living together first. Dating shows you only the good side of each other. Living together, cooking meals together, washing clothes together, planning family trips together, paying bills and planning budgets together, these things expose ALL facets of each other's personalities (including the warts), and if you can still stand each other after all that, then you know you'll have a good marriage. And this is the perid to discover each other's sexual likes and dislikes, and to determine whether that part of your marriage will be good, too.

-- Latina

 

[Jeff726]

What I think is best is to wait as long as you can until you are sure things will last between you and your partner. I myself am just one who wants some security. I don't want to give up my virginity and then have the relationship not work out. That is what scares me the most about sex. I am a very sensitive heart as it is and anything to not work out for me would be traumatic to say the least.

My whole philosophy about sex is to wait until you are sure your partner is the one you want more than anything else.
Latina does have a good idea about living together for a while to see what works or does not work between a man and his woman. And hey if you and your partner can spin a good web that way, all the power to you!

All I am saying is I want to give all I have to the one I do marry. Now whether her and I had intercourse a month into the relationship or a year into it or not until wedding night, I want the one I give my virginity to to be the one I spend the rest of my life with. And I will not give myself up until I am sure of that security.


Jeff

 

[Jeff726]

forgot something.....

And just because one or both partners may not be sex masters, that doesn't mean the whole relationship should suffer.