How do you say goodbye?

[Freya]

To a person who means everything to you? To one who has supported you, been there for you, taken on responsibilities not his own, raised you with love, discipline, kindness and laughter?

I can't do this.

 

[peachykeen]

You don't say goodbye. You say, See you later.

 

[Guest]

how about....

You don't say goodbye, you just wish them well on their journey to the next level, knowing that in your heart and mind, the will still be with you and you will meet up with them again in time?

Freya, I'm so sorry, since I have an idea what this is about. It's never easy, in fact it's harder on the ones left behind. Be strong, that's what they would want from you. Remember the good and bad and treasure it.

**hugs**

 

[LadyG]

UGGH

That was me, sorry!

 

[curious2c]

When my grandfather passed away I never had the chance to tell him anything. When my father was close I spent time with him...as much as I could. We relived better days, laughed over funny times, and connected. He passed on to 'the next level' and I have felt good about that ever since. I wish that I had been able to do the same with my grandfather.

If you are able...be there, hold hands, talk to them, relieve the good memories. It will offer much closure and ease the pain in your heart.

I feel for your pain and sense of loss...not sure of the exactness of what I have said here...hope it helps.

 

[Mia62]

Freya, I honestly don't think there is ever enough time to say all the things that we want to say at the end.

I truly believe that it is enough to just hug them and kiss them gently while saying "I love you."

 

[Freya]

He can't talk anymore, he's lost his speech and some memory. I never knew how much I counted on my mom until she moved away, now I feel the same thing here. I'm such a child I guess, I just expected them to always be here.

Thanks guys.

 

[Lancecastor]

Just be with him there as much as you can.

Lance

 

[calypso_21]

It is never easy and most of what everyone has already stated is what I would recommend. Be true to yourself...don't hold back what you are feeling.

 

[calypso_21]

He can't talk anymore, he's lost his speech and some memory. I never knew how much I counted on my mom until she moved away, now I feel the same thing here. I'm such a child I guess, I just expected them to always be here.

Thanks guys.

He can still hear you.

 

[SexyChele]

He can still hear you.

Exactly. And don't forget the overwhelming power of human touch - a hand caressing a forehead, fingers entwined together, a hug. Open your heart and release what is within. It's hard, yes, but oh so worth it.

 

[zipman]

Exactly. And don't forget the overwhelming power of human touch - a hand caressing a forehead, fingers entwined together, a hug. Open your heart and release what is within. It's hard, yes, but oh so worth it.

Nothing I can add to this great advice.

Best wishes to you during this difficult time Freya!

 

[peachykeen]

Freya my mom runs an assisted living home for people with Alzheimers. You've already gotten some great advice here - just 'be' with him. If you like I can ask my mom about some of the websites and support groups she refers the families of her clients to. No one expects you to be able to handle something like this on your own, you know.

 

[Freya]

Exactly. And don't forget the overwhelming power of human touch - a hand caressing a forehead, fingers entwined together, a hug. Open your heart and release what is within. It's hard, yes, but oh so worth it.

My daughter is coming home today - I called her and told her she shouldn't wait til this weekend like we had planned. She was concerned about crying in front of him, and what you just said is basically what I told her to do.

 

[bknight2602]

To a person who means everything to you? To one who has supported you, been there for you, taken on responsibilities not his own, raised you with love, discipline, kindness and laughter?

I can't do this.

You have to be there and give what you can at the time. Even though it may not seem enough that is all you or anyone can do.

 

[Ginny]

you know i know exactly where you are right now....how overwhelming it is....to know....and to have to watch a parent slip away....all that you want to say....all the reasons not to....visitors in the room....nursing staff....awkwardness.....

if nothing else....just sit there on the edge of his bed....hold his hand....get him sips of water....there is a certain wordless intimacy......of caring for someone at this stage....a connection that says as much if not more than words....

tight hug, Freya.....my heart aches for what you're going through.....just love on him....be there....and most importantly take care of yourself.....

 

[Freya]

you know i know exactly where you are right now....how overwhelming it is....to know....and to have to watch a parent slip away....all that you want to say....all the reasons not to....visitors in the room....nursing staff....awkwardness.....

if nothing else....just sit there on the edge of his bed....hold his hand....get him sips of water....there is a certain wordless intimacy......of caring for someone at this stage....a connection that says as much if not more than words....

tight hug, Freya.....my heart aches for what you're going through.....just love on him....be there....and most importantly take care of yourself.....

That's exactly how it's been Ginny. Wanting to say so much, but not feeling like I could, due to others around.

Thank you so much for knowing.

BK

 

[freakygirl]

*hugs*

I can't give you any better advice than what you have already recieved.

Know I'm here for you....

 

[LordMagicMan]

Any advice I could think of has already been given.

I'm here if you need me...

 

[Freya]

Thanks you two. It's just a waiting game now.

FG - prepare your shoulder hun - I have a feeling it'll be getting a lot of use soon. I hope you dont mind.

 

[SexyChele]

Wanting to say so much, but not feeling like I could, due to others around.

I'm not certain exactly what the situation is, but if it is nursing/medical staff that is around, sometimes you can ask them for a little private time. They have been through this before and will understand. Normally they will give you some time alone.

My thoughts are with you...

 

[CoolidgEffect]

I have little to add in the way of advice. I think being there for him is really important for him and also for you and your daughter.

Can he be moved at all? You might be able to take him to the chapel or some other quite place to talk to him.

My thoughts will be with you.

 

[FunJohnny]

Mine as well...

Though I'm sure there are many many people out there who will not see this thread, I am sure that if they did, EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM would feel the same way, and would sympathize with you, and would hold you and your loved one in their hearts - if even for a single moment.

You are not childish for having such thoughts. I know my family is again, but yet I cannot imagine a life without them. There are many in your life who love you, and your loved one's passing will strengthen the loving bonds with all the others who are close to you.

Bless you and your family. May you have the wisdom to remember ALL of the past that has developed your relationship with them, the strength to endure the difficult times in front of you, and the closure of knowing you will be together again someday.



FJ

 

[freakygirl]

Thanks you two. It's just a waiting game now.

FG - prepare your shoulder hun - I have a feeling it'll be getting a lot of use soon. I hope you dont mind.

My shoulders are always ready..

PM, email or phone.. I'm here for you.

 

[Prince Romeo]

You never say goodbye to a person like that. Maybe physically you do, but mentally they will always be a part of you. You will caryy them with you everywhere you go and pass them along to all the people you meet. Look at how many people in this thread have already been affected by that person Freya.