How do you make a fuck machine out of a recip saw?

[MaryanneB]

I just saw a fuck machine made from a recip saw. How is that made? I work at a "big box" home improvement store and I know the saw and understand the end product but how ????

 

[RoperTrace]

I just saw a fuck machine made from a recip saw. How is that made? I work at a "big box" home improvement store and I know the saw and understand the end product but how ????

What could possibly go wrong? Maybe find a not-so-frail little widower instead. It would be interesting to talk to folks who work in bigger city Emerg. rooms. I've heard a few of their stories, 2nd hand, but none specifically on the machines that you've mentioned.

 

[jehoram]

Believe it or not, there's a section on Etsy for such things. But the basic thing seems to be marrying a Sawzall blade to a dildo. Never tried it, but I've used reciprocating saws enough to know that you've got to have more speed control than you get with the trigger.

I wonder if there's a You Tube video on this.

 

[Goldenfinger]

No..

 

[MaryanneB]

What could possibly go wrong? Maybe find a not-so-frail little widower instead. It would be interesting to talk to folks who work in bigger city Emerg. rooms. I've heard a few of their stories, 2nd hand, but none specifically on the machines that you've mentioned.

It's been awhile since I worked the OR and saw some strange things but the worst I saw was the light bulb where it definitely should never be. Control of the speed is certainly a problem. It just seemed too strange to be a good thing.

 

[Goldenfinger]

It's been awhile since I worked the OR and saw some strange things but the worst I saw was the light bulb where it definitely should never be. Control of the speed is certainly a problem. It just seemed too strange to be a good thing.

My wife works the ER. I have heard some interesting stories. She also worked as an advice nurse long time ago and some of the questions they ask are interesting .

 

[MaryanneB]

My wife works the ER. I have heard some interesting stories. She also worked as an advice nurse long time ago and some of the questions they ask are interesting .

There were many time where we just shook our heads and wrote things off to lack of sufficient grey matter.

 

[Goldenfinger]

There were many time where we just shook our heads and wrote things off to lack of sufficient grey matter.

She had some guy call in because he could not pee. One of the first questions they ask is if they have inserted anything into their penis that would prevent urine from being evacuated. She said he said uuumm what kind if stuff would that be? She told him to refrain from drinking liquids and to go to the er. Turns out he had put a dozen BBs in his penis.

 

[MaryanneB]

She had some guy call in because he could not pee. One of the first questions they ask is if they have inserted anything into their penis that would prevent urine from being evacuated. She said he said uuumm what kind if stuff would that be? She told him to refrain from drinking liquids and to go to the er. Turns out he had put a dozen BBs in his penis.

Yeah, but if it wasn't for the morons the job wouldn't be as much fun!

 

[12oclocktales]

She had some guy call in because he could not pee. One of the first questions they ask is if they have inserted anything into their penis that would prevent urine from being evacuated. She said he said uuumm what kind if stuff would that be? She told him to refrain from drinking liquids and to go to the er. Turns out he had put a dozen BBs in his penis.

He was just trying to shoot his load, that's all. Literally.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

A couple things I’ve been told.

A buddy I know works ER. A young woman in her 20s came in one night. She saw the nurse at the front desk. Explained why she was there. My buddy gets the chart little later. Reason for coming in… lacerated labia. The young lady had tried a home waxing. She tore her labia. Got some stitches for her trouble.
A girl I knew years ago told me this one. A guy she knew was wanting to try new/ bigger things to insert into her vagina. He came up with trying a baseball. She said it went in after a little while. When he tried to take it out. He couldn’t get it. H tried for awhile. Then she tried and tried. Ended up going to ER. Doc removed it. Then the guy that put it in her asked doc.. hey can I have the ball?
The same girl told me she had a bat she used as a toy. I thought she was kidding. One day I was at her place. I look over. Next to her nightstand leaning on the wall. A softball bat. Pink of all colors.

 

[deltablues65]

I just saw a fuck machine made from a recip saw. How is that made? I work at a "big box" home improvement store and I know the saw and understand the end product but how ????

I am thinking that they would take the tool, and run it through some kind of power variable switch, kind of like a dimmer for 110 volt home lamp, the lower the voltage, the slower the tool would work would be my theory on that one

 

[RoperTrace]

It's been awhile since I worked the OR and saw some strange things but the worst I saw was the light bulb where it definitely should never be. Control of the speed is certainly a problem. It just seemed too strange to be a good thing.

Follow up question: How did you transition from the OR to a "big box" store?

 

[MaryanneB]

I am thinking that they would take the tool, and run it through some kind of power variable switch, kind of like a dimmer for 110 volt home lamp, the lower the voltage, the slower the tool would work would be my theory on that one

Could be but the idea of having something with the power messed with makes me nervous. I think I'll stick with the regular stuff.

 

[MaryanneB]

Follow up question: How did you transition from the OR to a "big box" store?

Retired from the hospital scene when we moved east and I wanted a job that was less than 60 hours a week. Part time in most hospitals is 40hrs. a week. I'm just too old to be working my ass off. Then there was the fact that my husband's health was failing. I know a lot about power tools and construction so an orange apron was a no brainer. Besides....if I fuck up no one croaks.

 

[Privates1stClass]

Instead of a Sawzall, have you considered a Sybian? Everything has already been engineered into the product for your sexual enjoyment. No sharp edges or sharp pointy objects to worry about. More expensive than a Sawzall, though.

 

[deltablues65]

Could be but the idea of having something with the power messed with makes me nervous. I think I'll stick with the regular stuff.

I think it would be much the same principal as the sybian idea, but they are equipped from the factory with a variable speed control, buying a off the shelf hardware tool, would likely require some kind of power variable junction, which is likely available through any household electrical supply, it would all be one thing plugging into the other I would think without having to do any actual rewiring, which I would never recommend unless your married to a electrician lol

 

[jehoram]

And lube. Lots of lube.

 

[IARainman]

There once was a man from Racine….

 

[twister947]

I think it would be much the same principal as the sybian idea, but they are equipped from the factory with a variable speed control, buying a off the shelf hardware tool, would likely require some kind of power variable junction, which is likely available through any household electrical supply, it would all be one thing plugging into the other I would think without having to do any actual rewiring, which I would never recommend unless your married to a electrician lol

I've seen rheostats wired in series with Hitachis; this should not be difficult. Some sort of speed limiter should be incorporated in this lash-up. All of that being said, I think it's a bad idea. Cunts are for fingers, cocks, tongues, and babies; not construction equipment.

 

[MaryanneB]

I think it would be much the same principal as the sybian idea, but they are equipped from the factory with a variable speed control, buying a off the shelf hardware tool, would likely require some kind of power variable junction, which is likely available through any household electrical supply, it would all be one thing plugging into the other I would think without having to do any actual rewiring, which I would never recommend unless your married to a electrician lol

I agree

 

[pumperguy191]

I just saw a fuck machine made from a recip saw. How is that made? I work at a "big box" home improvement store and I know the saw and understand the end product but how ????

For God's sake, don't do it like this

https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/weird/woman-severely-injured-in-sex-toypower-tool-encounter/1870905/

 

[MaryanneB]

For God's sake, don't do it like this

https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/weird/woman-severely-injured-in-sex-toypower-tool-encounter/1870905/

Holy CRAP!!!!

 

[dasgoodshit]

How do you make a fuck machine

Goddamn I love this site

 

[Bramblethorn]

For God's sake, don't do it like this

https://www.nbcmiami.com/news/weird/woman-severely-injured-in-sex-toypower-tool-encounter/1870905/

When I read the thread title I was about to make some crack about "step one: remove the blade!" and I should've known, I should've known...

Back in the day, I was part of a group that did medieval battles. The archers used wooden arrows - take a length of wooden dowel, put a flat rubber stopper on one end (like the rubber feet you might put on a chair to stop it scratching up the floor), add nock and fletching at the other end.

Except for one asshole who took his target arrows, the kind that have a sharp metal point to stick into the bullseye, and just glued the rubber tips over the points. Thankfully that got caught in safety inspection before he got to injure anybody.