How do you feel good about yourself when you hate your own body?

[kikmosa]

How can I make myself feel good about me when I'm so ugly. I'm so far overweight that it's not funny. I'm losing my teeth (having them pulled), I'm pale, out of shape and truly hate the way I look. Yet because of everything I've been through in my marriage, I'm afraid to change the way I am. How do I get past this? It's tearing me apart inside. I want to look good but I'm afraid to. Everytime someone compliments me I find myself going on a eating binge. Then I get mad at me and go on a fast to lose it again. I keep going up and down all the time and I know this isn't good for me but how do I stop it?

 

[peachykeen]

Hon, if you're feeling this down on yourself, you really owe it to yourself to talk to a counselor, preferrably one who is experienced in dealing with body/eating disorder issues. There are low cost and even free services available, you just have to look for them. You don't have to, nor can you I believe, do this by yourself - you need help, support, and guidance.

Good luck to you.

 

[PinkOrchid]

 

[kikmosa]

I'm already talking to an online counseler about my other problems steming from my abusive marriage. He helps but I still have so many problems. I know I need more help. The people here have been so supportive of me and the others. I really didn't mean to create this as a thread. I was posting on the other thread and I guess I hit the wrong button. But maybe it was meant to be. Thank you both so much for answering this. It means a lot that you cared enough to speak. Hugs for you both.

 

[Guest]

 

[SlickTony]

Kikmosa, it might also help to increase your physical activity--join a gym if you can afford to, get some good exercise videos if you can't. Once you develop some muscle definition you'll start to look different. Exercise will also bring about an increase of endorphins that will make you feel better. I don't know what to tell you about the pale part; we're always being told that tan is bad for you, but nobody is telling the people who make the ads in the magazines. I wish you the best.

 

[Guest]

 

[kikmosa]

Yes, yes.first you must find out why you hate your looks, and why you binge..

NEVE FAST, its not a permenant solution. Eat well, do something you enjoy for excersize, not many people like to do areobics or run, so find something you enjoy.

Do you like to dance? Turn on your radio and GET DOWN AND BOOGY. Its fun.

Find a partner to watch their weight with you. Your mission is easier with a buddy.

Your teeth, its good youre gettin them pulled, DO you have dentures being made? Some dentists will go on a sliding scale.


Oh and being pale?? Darlin, creamy white skin is in now!


You are beautiful, I just can tell these things

I lost tons of weight, PM if you need help.

I know how it all started, a defense against my ex wanting me. He hated fat and for that i became fat to try to make him not want me. It finally worked but not for the fat, but because I stopped screaming for him. He left me for someone new that he could make scream. I kept the fat to try to keep anyone else from wanting me.
As for the excerise, I haven't been able to for a long time due to physical problems stemming from the abuse I went through.
I do love dance even though I can't very well anymore and I do try to as often as I can but only in the privacy of my own home.
My teeth have been bad for so long and I'm glad to be getting them out finally even though going to a dentist scares me so much. I am going to get dentures but it will have to wait til my taxes come back. I go Monday to get the last ones out.
Pale is in? Even if I have freckles? Wow, I didn't know that.

 

[kikmosa]

Kikmosa, it might also help to increase your physical activity--join a gym if you can afford to, get some good exercise videos if you can't. Once you develop some muscle definition you'll start to look different. Exercise will also bring about an increase of endorphins that will make you feel better. I don't know what to tell you about the pale part; we're always being told that tan is bad for you, but nobody is telling the people who make the ads in the magazines. I wish you the best.

Unfortunetly there are no gyms in this tiny little town and I simply can't make the next town with this chevy pos that I own. There is a park though and I'm trying to get my sister to start going there with me so that I can do some walking. I simply can't make myself go alone. It's too frightening.

 

[kikmosa]

choose what makes you feel good about yourself. Find something about yourself that you are proud of and build on that. Even if that thing is your toes....look at them and say outloud that you have damned nice toes. Then openly look at the other parts of yourself that you dont feel so good about and ACCEPT them. Not accept them as in settle for them, but accept them that they ARE you you are.

If these things do not make you happy, study them indepth and make that decision to change them until YOU are happy with the results. Do this to satisfy yourself and no one else.

Trust me....when you change for yourself, you'll do it easily and remarkably quick. Don't let other opinions get in the way because they are only opinions. Do this because YOU want to and because it makes YOU happy.

I did choose one thing to change about myself and that my teeth. I've been missing severel ever since I made him mad and I was ashamed to smile because of the way it looked. Now I'm having the few left pulled and I'm going to get dentures. For the first time in years I'm going to be able to smile and not feel ashamed.

 

[Guest]

 

[SlickTony]

Hon, I wouldnt attempt a gym. I tried one before when I was starting. people look at you with disgust for some reason some people think you need to be buff to be there. Stupid I know.

Well, I wasn't thinking of some place like Bailey's or Gold's--I was thinking more in terms of the Y, where there are normal people with all body types.

 

[Guest]

 

[kikmosa]

Lol, that's ok. This town is so small that it doesn't even have a Y. The biggest thig around here is the Wal-Mart and the churches. Like I said, small town.

 

[SlickTony]

Maybe now isnt the time to mention the gym I joined was the Y?

Oh, dear, Emerald! I hadn't considered that all Y's are not created equal, and I should have considered this. A while back they were doing some renovations on my Y and we had passes to work out in another Y. The nearest other Y to me was the one in an area consisting of fancy-schmancy professional buildings--the people running it on Saturday were just as nice as they could possibly be, but I could tell from the location, and the looks of some of the other people who were there, that it would be populated most of the time by youngish, power-suited, attache-cased types that were all much buffer than I. It was a far cry from my dear, familiar, tatty Y in my neighborhood, which really does have all types.

The biggest thig around here is the Wal-Mart and the churches.

Well, I'll bet the Wal-mart has a Sweatin' to the Oldies tape, doesn't it? Even has exercise mats and small weights and such. Um, I don't suppose that changing locations is an option for you? This is my animus against small towns speaking, I know.

 

[Richard49]

God I feel your pain

I am writing a serious for my herb ezine on weight loss

I want to reach out and hold you till the your tears and pain pass
THat I can not do ......
I can share some of what owrks for me

1) Remember "easy does it"
you did not get where you are today in one day
and you will not recover who you are in one day

It is about progress not prefection

2) journal
The body heals from the top down and inside out

3) whatever exersice you can do - do

4) make sure that your 9 major body sytems are in balance

These will get you started

 

[kikmosa]

Well, I'll bet the Wal-mart has a Sweatin' to the Oldies tape, doesn't it? Even has exercise mats and small weights and such. Um, I don't suppose that changing locations is an option for you? This is my animus against small towns speaking, I know.

I have a 'Sweatin' tape. And a really nice vcr. However I have no tv. I watched it so rarely that I gave it away about a year ago. I guess I need to get another now. I'll look into it.

 

[kikmosa]

God I feel your pain

I am writing a serious for my herb ezine on weight loss

I want to reach out and hold you till the your tears and pain pass
THat I can not do ......
I can share some of what owrks for me

1) Remember "easy does it"
you did not get where you are today in one day
and you will not recover who you are in one day

It is about progress not prefection

2) journal
The body heals from the top down and inside out

3) whatever exersice you can do - do

4) make sure that your 9 major body sytems are in balance

These will get you started

9 major body systems? Could you list them for me as I can't think of 9?

 

[HoHoBomb]

Here is a solution.
for your mind read

www.anewlife.org

 

[Guest]

 

[Guest]

 

[kikmosa]

Here is a solution.
for your mind read

www.anewlife.org

Thank you Kissinggurl. I'll check it out.

 

[kikmosa]

Digestive, vascular...............respitory? I dunno either.

I know there is the digestive system, circulatory system, nervous system, skelatel system. But I'm not sure which others.

 

[Guest]

 

[SlickTony]

However I have no tv.

They're gettin' cheaper all the time. If you can't afford one new, someone's sure to have pawned one.