How Do Women Make Friends?

[Casey811]

I've always been curious about this.

As my circle of friends has grown, new guys will come and some will go but the same women have been around since childhood. And unless one of the guys get a new girlfriend, the original girls NEVER bring anyone new into the circle.

It got me wondering about the differences in approaching new people from a gender perspective.

For guys it seems easy as pie. Go out and play some basketball, meet a couple guys, decide to hit the bar later that night... BOOM, new acquaintences (possible friends).

The other day I was getting my car fixed at Pep Boys, another guy was getting his SUV done. Out of nowhere, we start chatting. He owns a resturant in NYC, used to work for the military blah blah, 3 hours of this.
Gives me his card and says dinner is on him if I want to stop by his resturant.

Instant acquaintance!

Now, how do women do it (if they even do?)
I've never see two strange women ever talking to each other unless it was in passing. Ten words or less.

 

[LadyJeanne]

I've always been curious about this.

As my circle of friends has grown, new guys will come and some will go but the same women have been around since childhood. And unless one of the guys get a new girlfriend, the original girls NEVER bring anyone new into the circle.

It got me wondering about the differences in approaching new people from a gender perspective.

For guys it seems easy as pie. Go out and play some basketball, meet a couple guys, decide to hit the bar later that night... BOOM, new acquaintences (possible friends).

The other day I was getting my car fixed at Pep Boys, another guy was getting his SUV done. Out of nowhere, we start chatting. He owns a resturant in NYC, used to work for the military blah blah, 3 hours of this.
Gives me his card and says dinner is on him if I want to stop by his resturant.

Instant acquaintance!

Now, how do women do it (if they even do?)
I've never see two strange women ever talking to each other unless it was in passing. Ten words or less.

It happens all the time - ladies rooms, after yoga class, at the coffee shop, work, and through other friends.

Maybe the girls don't want to introduce new friends to their childhood friends. Y'all might have some embarrassing stories to tell!

 

[Casey811]

It happens all the time - ladies rooms, after yoga class, at the coffee shop, work, and through other friends.

Maybe the girls don't want to introduce new friends to their childhood friends. Y'all might have some embarrassing stories to tell!

Ahhh, embarrassing stories.

I suppose I hadn't thought of that.. but see most of your examples is pretty much a 'members only' type affair... ladies room, yoga class, work, friends.

I've just never seen two women at, say, a gas station..chat it up and exchange numbers

 

[Eilan]

My definition of "friend" is probably overly restrictive, so it applies to only a handful of people. The people that I consider to be my friends tend to be people that I've known for a long time--some longer than others.

I've met acquaintances through my kids' school and soccer/basketball teams, but since I have four children, that doesn't leave me a lot of time for socializing or building new friendships, even though I've met people that I'd like to get to know better.

Other women's mileage may vary.

 

[bisexplicit]

Sometimes I think its more difficult for women to make friends. (Actually, its probably more difficult for teenage girls to make friends, so nevermind, I'll leave without putting my two cents in. )

 

[karndav]

My friends as an adult have started out being my neighbors and as we got to know one another over coffee and backyard discussions the friendships just grew.

 

[AppleBiter]

I've made friends through work, at the gym, at school, through my husband or other friends . . . . it varies a lot. I'm normally a very shy individual, so I wouldn't just strike up a conversation at a gas station, anyway. But, if someone struck up a conversation with me, I would likely talk to them. Depends on the situation.

 

[Undomiel]

Well I don't really make friends just from bumping into strangers in random places. I made friends in college, most of whom are guys and have turned me into quite the tomboy. I now understand men more than I understand women, haha.

 

[Private_Label]

I am still friends with a woman who was a GF to a guy I knew through a hobby group. She was only his GF for about a year or so - We have been friends about 10 years or so.

I made female friends in college (one that I met in class and we ended up seeing each other after class in the student union cafeteria, so we just decided to go to lunch together and talk about stuff), and hobby groups to which I belong. A co-worker or two. A few have been neighbors. A number stick around, others fall away. Pretty much the same place I made men friends.

I have friends that I met on line as part of a hobby group that we have gotten together (as a hobby group) and done things together. I still e-mail a few of them regularly.

You could substitute "hobby group" for things like the pickup b-ball game.

 

[LadyFunkenstein]

Huh. I haven't thought about it before now, but my only female friends are the wives of a few of my old male buddies. And my sisters. Maybe this is something worth me examining a little more closely.