how do covid-cautious people date nowadays? (or do they not?)

[joy_of_cooking]

Let's not get into whether covid is real, or bad, etc. Suppose you think it is, and you take precautions such as wearing masks indoors and not swapping spit with strangers. How does dating work?

I started a story about such a person only to run into lots of common dating things (eating together, kissing, being indoors in noisy places like bars) that are harder or impossible under such restrictions.

I found some "still coviding" groups where people talk extensively about loneliness and isolation, so maybe the answer is they mostly can't date? Or even have platonic social lives?

 

[Kelliezgirl]

Start with something online, work up to some sexting and maybe zoom sex, then exchange vax cards and negative test results before meeting in person, for a picnic at a park in a very secluded place?

 

[Britva415]

A two-week quarantine for each of the people followed by a way to meet face-to-face without interacting with other people ("dirty outsiders") could have potential.

Besides hanging a lampshade on the plot point which allows them to finally meet and share intimacy, the idea also provides development of anticipation, focus on motivation and desire, catharsis when the isolation ends, and a wild, hunger-fueled denouement when they overcome all the barriers and finally trust each other to be non-infectious.

 

[Kelliezgirl]

First time they meet in person is at some isolated air BnB in the mountains for a wild weekend? Then you have that anticipation that Britva mentioned but you also have the angst, what if we don't "click" when we actually meet? Then I'm stuck here with this person for a week.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Let's not get into whether covid is real, or bad, etc. Suppose you think it is, and you take precautions such as wearing masks indoors and not swapping spit with strangers. How does dating work?

I started a story about such a person only to run into lots of common dating things (eating together, kissing, being indoors in noisy places like bars) that are harder or impossible under such restrictions.

I found some "still coviding" groups where people talk extensively about loneliness and isolation, so maybe the answer is they mostly can't date? Or even have platonic social lives?

Vaccinate?

Em

 

[Devinter]

... so maybe the answer is they mostly can't date? Or even have platonic social lives?

Maybe the answer is that they fall for each other so quickly and intensely that they can't NOT date?

I picture the following; They're in queue to get their vaccines. Facemasks on. Their eyes meet. Instant attraction. After getting their shots, they have to sit in a 'waiting area' for a bit to make sure there's no side effects or that they get nauseous before they're allowed to go home. They sit 'next to each other', but still many feet apart for safety reasons. But they keep exchanging glances, and start talking. They end up going on a spontaneous date together as they leave the medical centre, staying at a distance the whole time. When they finally feel too hot and bothered to keep away from each other, they go back on one of their places - and they're all over each other in a heartbeat.

... Then the masks come off and suddenly they realize that they used to know each other when they were kids or something. Some sort of dramatic twist! Could be spicy.

 

[revinivon]

Let's not get into whether covid is real, or bad, etc. Suppose you think it is, and you take precautions such as wearing masks indoors and not swapping spit with strangers. How does dating work?

I started a story about such a person only to run into lots of common dating things (eating together, kissing, being indoors in noisy places like bars) that are harder or impossible under such restrictions.

I found some "still coviding" groups where people talk extensively about loneliness and isolation, so maybe the answer is they mostly can't date? Or even have platonic social lives?

Sounds like someone still on Facebook.

 

[ElectricBlue]

I wrote this one in April 2020, a month or so after Covid hit Australia and lock downs began - it caught the mood as it was then.

A Girl on the Bus, Part 7

I took characters from a previous story cycle, but it's basically stand-alone.

 

[ShelbyDawn57]

Most common trope I've seen for Covid is two people et trapped together and don't have a choice. I think having them actually try to date amid all that mess is an interesting challenge. Not sure about the logistics, though. Maybe it starts as an online romance and builds from there. Kind of like 19th century mail romances with long flourishing letters full of all kinds of stuff. Some of those went on for years...

 

[Devinter]

Are we still talking about covid? I thought this thread was from 2020 but no. News flash. Life is back to normal. We are moving on to the next pandemic.

... You missed the entire point of the thread. Read:

I found some "still coviding" groups where people talk extensively about loneliness and isolation

 

[SimonDoom]

At some point, even allowing for the real risks of COVID, if one is reality-based one has to balance those risks against the harms of not living a real life. Life is risky. The mortality rate is 100%. Still, we have to live, don't we? You could catch the flu from a date and die. You could be hit by lightning or die in a traffic accident on the way to a date. Does anyone decline to date because of the risk of the flu or because of the risk of a traffic accident?

If you are over 70 and you have a preexisting condition, I understand worrying about COVID. I don't understand being under 50 and not wanting to date because of COVID.

I don't mean to disparage people's individual circumstances, but I think as a society COVID has made us normalize fear to a degree that is unhealthy. Face risk. It is the only healthy way to live.

 

[Euphony]

 

[Kitty_so_frisky]

I have a practically non-existent immune system. The underlying causes are not up for public discussion, but to illustrate how bad they are, I will say most common colds that people around me have caught and passed on last a week or two for them, and up to four months for me.

I once had a cold or virus so bad, I cracked a rib from coughing too much and too hard over an extended time period. I had no idea that was even possible until it happened to me. I'm pretty sure that led to pneumonia, but was in so much pain I could barely move, let alone force myself to go to a doctor.

In November 2019-February 2020, I had a virus so bad I could barely stand at times and was throwing up at work, once in front of my supervisor, and I ran out of PTO and sick days and my leave was retroactively denied by a 3rd party company and I was fired. We didn't know COVID-19 was in the US at the time, but it was, and there was no testing for it. My urgent care visit only confirmed it was a virus, but not influenza, and medical record for that visit said "viral syndrome." I don't believe my symptoms matched those commonly associated with COVID-19, but my boyfriend at the time, who had a shorter and less severe version of it, believes it was C19. My C19 antibodies test a few months later when they became widely available was negative, but it's possible the antibodies may have faded by then. We'll never know what kind of virus it was for sure. It was bad for me though. REALLY bad.

All this to say, I feel that taking reasonable precautions to avoid COVID-19 (and other respiratory illnesses) is absolutely necessary for me. I firmly believe if I caught it in the early days before vaccines were available, there's a good chance I would have been one of the casualties.

By reasonable precautions, I mean using all available mitigations available to me to lead as normal a life as possible, but not relying too heavily on any one. I keep up with my vaccines as often as recommended. I've always been a compulsive hand-washer since I worked at an eye doctor's office at 18-19 and saw pink eye spread like crazy there, and admit I was a little overzealous in cleaning surfaces at work before we knew C19 was almost entirely airborne. I wear a mask in public and around pretty much anyone except my roommates and 2 close family members who are also cautious so as not to carry it to me. I am conscious of crowd density and ventilation in all situations.

I have done normal things like grocery shopping, family gatherings, doctor visits, gym, etc. I have even gone to concerts and sporting events, movies, and flown on a couple planes, while masked. Restaurants are a bit more anxiety-inducing, considering the fact that I can't eat while wearing a mask, but I will occasionally go to a restaurant that is uncrowded with the aforementioned people in my "pod," or outdoor seating with others. If it's an indoor seated restaurant, I put my mask back on when the server approaches the table. No buffets.

I have hung out with platonic friends, but dating and the possibility of kissing and more would be infinitely more tricky for me. There have been a couple guys I have considered going on dates with, but they'd have to be equally cautious in their everyday lives (or at least the week before our date) to avoid passing anything on to me. Also, considering my other (reproductive) health issues, making sure they've been recently tested and free of any STIs would be necessary too.

Taking all this into consideration, casual dating in-person isn't something I can do right now. Even if I met and connected with someone in-person first, we'd still have to talk online for a while first while the above requirements are met, and if we're still interested in each other, I'd be more open to meeting, kissing, and more.

Understandably, all of this limits my options, but at this point in my life, I'm fine with being picky enough to wait for someone who cares about my life and health.

 

[StillStunned]

Shameless self-promotion! My Covid story: Closeness
Based on true events.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Yeah, I did miss it because it's completely ridiculous.

Gee, look at the empathy. Did you not read the long post, two up from yours?

In case you missed it, some people in the AH have had pretty shitty Covid experiences, including deaths. Be nicer.

 

[Unblemished]

Yeah, I’ve known people with immune issues who to this day are pretty much housebound. They weren’t in a great place before COVID, but it’s made things horribly worse. I hardly see them outside zoom chat now.

I honestly wish society had kept the masks. They’re good for things like colds and flu, not just COVID, and you can decorate them to look quite nice.

 

[HordHolm]

Yeah, I did miss it because it's completely ridiculous.

Hmm, well, my MIL has just tested positive for COVID just a couple of days ago, so that's put the kibosh on Christmas. Not much of an issue for me because I hate Christmas anyway. But for my wife and daughter it's really sad because they love it, and look forward to sitting down around the table. And as for my immuno-compromised MIL..? Yeah, she's fucking terrified right now. So, you know what you can do...

 

[yibala]

Let's not get into whether covid is real, or bad, etc.

Well, some people flunked the assignment right off the bat... this is actual life for many folks who are chronically ill, immunosuppressed or disabled, as well as for anyone who is close to or cares about them.

You can make their cautiousness as central or not central to the story as you like. For most COVID-cautious, the basic practice is masking indoors in public. They'd already be vaxxed and boostered, unless they have health issues that prevent vaccination. They'd probably have spent time Zooming together, or maybe they just meet outside, with or without masks. And there are such things as rapid tests; they would use those liberally if they think they might have been recently exposed. So meeting at a sidewalk cafe, a picnic in the park, a weekend at a cabin... all that could work.

As you mention, there are also communities and groups that have COVID-cautious meeting rules, particularly any groups that want to be inclusive. So a con might be meet-cute setting, amongst people who are masked and making Corsi-Rosenthal boxes together.

You could add an element of mystery between two masked people who've never seen each other's entire faces before - until the moment they do. And building trust and taking risks could be a significant part of their interaction, as would be coping with some level of social isolation. Even within these communities, people assess risk differently, so one might well be more cautious than the other.

When you finish the story, you should link to it in the thread! Good luck.

-Yib

 

[StillStunned]

You could add an element of mystery between two masked people who've never seen each other's entire faces before - until the moment they do.

I'm seeing an I/T story here...

 

[Kelliezgirl]

I honestly wish society had kept the masks. They’re good for things like colds and flu, not just COVID, and you can decorate them to look quite nice.

Except the science says they don't work. It's a placebo.

 

[stickygirl]

A friend of mine is wheel-chair bound ( broken neck some years ago ) and he can't cough as a result. He can breathe without aid, but not cough, which I guess requires a different set of nerves. He has to be careful about respiratory infections.
If STIs continue their mutations against antibiotics, we may all soon have to be wary of casual hook-ups and a good number of people already are. My bf and I formally declared ourselves to be STI and disease free before we had sex and I recommend people do the same. Some years ago, a girl I was about to kiss pushed me away telling me she had an open herpes sore on her lip.

 

[Unblemished]

Except the science says they don't work. It's a placebo.

What are you talking about? Is this about that article from earlier this year which couldn’t find any conclusive links one way or the other, but which itself said that they were working with shoddy evidence, that the real result could be, uh, anything, and that they basically had to shrug their shoulders? And then so many people ran around claiming it was proof that masks ‘didn’t work’ that the institute that did the study had to release a statement saying ‘no that’s not what we said’?

In contrast:

wearing mask in public is essential as its effectiveness has already been well established by the current studies. For exhalation isolation, both surgical and N95 masks are shown to be effective in reducing the spread of respiratory diseases, but the former is more accessible and comfortable to wear compared to the latter. For inhalation protection, air filtering respirators such as N95 masks can filtrate contaminants, bacteria and other matters from reaching nose and mouth, and are more efficient in virus penetration inhibition than surgical masks.

A conclusion can be reached based on the current studies: correctly wearing masks of all kinds, despite their different designs, functions and effectiveness, will to a large degree reduce the overall risks of COVID‐19 infection and enhance general protection from coronavirus.

- How effective is a mask in preventing COVID‐19 infection?

During February–December 2021, using a face mask or respirator in indoor public settings was associated with lower odds of acquiring SARS-CoV-2 infection, with protection being highest among those who reported wearing a face mask or respirator all of the time. Although consistent use of any face mask or respirator indoors was protective, the adjusted odds of infection were lowest among persons who reported typically wearing an N95/KN95 respirator, followed by wearing a surgical mask. These data from real-world settings reinforce the importance of consistently wearing face masks or respirators to reduce the risk of acquisition of SARS-CoV-2 infection among the general public in indoor community settings.

These findings are consistent with existing research demonstrating that face masks or respirators effectively filter viruses in laboratory settings and with ecological studies showing reductions in SARS-CoV-2 incidence associated with community-level masking requirements (6,7). While this study evaluated the protective effects of mask or respirator use in reducing the risk the wearer acquires SARS-CoV-2 infection, a previous evaluation estimated the additional benefits of masking for source control, and found that wearing face masks or respirators in the context of exposure to a person with confirmed SARS-CoV-2 infection was associated with similar reductions in risk for infection (8).

-Effectiveness of Face Mask or Respirator Use in Indoor Public Settings for Prevention of SARS-CoV-2 Infection

An increasing number of ecological studies have also provided persuasive evidence that universal mandatory mask wearing policies have been associated with reductions in the number or rate of infections and deaths. These studies did not distinguish the types of masks (cloth, surgical, or N95) used in the community. This association is strengthened because, in many cases, other mitigation strategies (eg, school and workplace closures, recommendations for social distancing, hand hygiene) had already been deployed before enactment of mask wearing policies, after which the reductions were observed. A study that examined changes in growth rates for infections in 15 states and the District of Columbia before and after mask mandates showed that rates were growing before the mandates were enacted and slowed significantly after, with greater benefit the longer the mandates had been in place.

-Effectiveness of Mask Wearing to Control Community Spread of SARS-CoV-2

 

[Duleigh]

Let's not get into whether covid is real, or bad, etc. Suppose you think it is, and you take precautions such as wearing masks indoors and not swapping spit with strangers. How does dating work?

I started a story about such a person only to run into lots of common dating things (eating together, kissing, being indoors in noisy places like bars) that are harder or impossible under such restrictions.

I found some "still coviding" groups where people talk extensively about loneliness and isolation, so maybe the answer is they mostly can't date? Or even have platonic social lives?

It depends on where you live. Some areas are still in a foaming at the mouth frenzy over covid, others shrug their shoulders and realize that this is something we have to deal with, and other areas ignore it. I'm lucky enough to live in Area C. Life goes on. I pity those in area A.

 

[StillStunned]

If STIs continue their mutations against antibiotics, we may all soon have to be wary of casual hook-ups and a good number of people already are.

I was a teenager in Europe in the 1980s. Casual hook-ups were a big no-no then, because of AIDS.

Or at least, that was the excuse girls used to get rid of me.

 

[HordHolm]

In case you think I am an anti-Vaxer, nothing could be further from the truth. With the original two shots and three boosters, I have gotten vaccinated five times. Nearly everyone I know has had covid at one time or another and their responses varied from hysteria to indifference.

I was part of a long term covid immunity study which examined the antibodies in the participants blood. I had antibodies from the vaccinations but none from a natural infection.

Actually, I didn't have any view over your stance on vaccinations - I certainly didn't assume you were an anti-vaxxer. My response was to your seeming view that Covid has magically vanished merely because most people aren't talking about it and the media has, by and large, moved on to other things. However, for many people Covid is still an active anxiety, either because they have immunity issues or they are still suffering from its effects, and thus talking about it is hardly ridiculous as your previous contributions seemed to imply.