How deep are your roots?

[Keroin]

There is a Japanese saying: 住めば都 SUMEBA MIYAKO that means "home is wherever you live". I like to believe that it fits me. And I hope it will fit my kids.

Actually, one of my favourite quotes, (origin unknown), is: "If home is where the heart is, you'll find my heart in pieces, scattered along the road."

On the other hand, I've only lived in Alabama, and I don't think I'd want to live anywhere but the South, even if my financial situation would allow for it.

See this is the part that feels so alien to me. I LOVE British Columbia for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is the breathtaking/humbling scenery but I always wanted to live elsewhere, and still do. For L and me, the ultimate goal is to live six months here and six months elsewhere.

I really groove on experiencing how other people live. I remember when we lived in Key Largo. We rented this house on the canal, and those waterways basically functioned as everyone's front yard. It was the coolest thing watching the boats come and go, hopping aboard our boat or a neighbour's boat to cruise down the canal for dinner somewhere. And the Florida Keys attract some very kooky characters - that was one of my favourite neighbourhoods.

I have no "home" aside from what I make. I feel no real kinship to my extended family in PA, nor to the area of PA they live in. I'm basically the same way about the NC side of my family, but I am happier with the region they're from. What can I say? It's pretty up there.

I have no sense of "home" here, nor real connection to this area. My god, it's a bland city with precious little character, as it is comprised of military, retirees, and those that support the military, so it is a melange of other places' cultures. Probably why I'm so comfortable here, but it does not lend itself to some sort of characteristically Virginia experience.

Home, to me, is where I lay my head at night. It's the place where my people live, and thus I live there too. It helps that I like the weather here. All that said, I don't feel like I've hung my metaphorical hat here permanently. There is no sense that I will die in this place, or even grow old. It just is, and I just am. It's probably a bit zen, but eh.

I live here largely because this is where we were when my dad retired. It's more "home" than anywhere else, and that's largely because I chose to stay here.

My experience is actually quite different, which is interesting. Even though I move and travel so often, I form very deep attachments to the places I go. There really are pieces of my heart scattered all over the world. When we drive down Baja, and we come down this one hill where the view opens up to a turquoise vista of the Bahia de Conception, I am swept over with a feeling of belonging and happiness. But then, I get that same feeling in lots of other places Deep attachment...just temporary. LOL.

Though, my attachments are as much about the people as the places. The fact that we choose to live in geographically amazing places just adds to it. Actually, I'm not sure I could live in a place that didn't 'wow' me with natural scenery in some respect. Hm.

 

[BiBunny]

See this is the part that feels so alien to me. I LOVE British Columbia for a multitude of reasons, not the least of which is the breathtaking/humbling scenery but I always wanted to live elsewhere, and still do. For L and me, the ultimate goal is to live six months here and six months elsewhere.

I really groove on experiencing how other people live. I remember when we lived in Key Largo. We rented this house on the canal, and those waterways basically functioned as everyone's front yard. It was the coolest thing watching the boats come and go, hopping aboard our boat or a neighbour's boat to cruise down the canal for dinner somewhere. And the Florida Keys attract some very kooky characters - that was one of my favourite neighbourhoods.

It's really an extreme aversion to cold that keeps me here.

I wanted to try a tropical island paradise at one time, but then when I kept hearing stories from someone *ahem* about no veggies at the store for weeks at a time and such, I changed my mind.

 

[Homburg]

My experience is actually quite different, which is interesting. Even though I move and travel so often, I form very deep attachments to the places I go. There really are pieces of my heart scattered all over the world. When we drive down Baja, and we come down this one hill where the view opens up to a turquoise vista of the Bahia de Conception, I am swept over with a feeling of belonging and happiness. But then, I get that same feeling in lots of other places Deep attachment...just temporary. LOL.

Though, my attachments are as much about the people as the places. The fact that we choose to live in geographically amazing places just adds to it. Actually, I'm not sure I could live in a place that didn't 'wow' me with natural scenery in some respect. Hm.

The closest analogue I have to this is "Hey, I recognise this place!" or remembering a given event that took place there. Belonging? Not so much.

Well, okay, I am comfortable on military bases. Different idea though, as I very much no longer belong there, and don't feel as if I do.

Threads like this really make me wonder about my childhood.

 

[Keroin]

It's really an extreme aversion to cold that keeps me here.

I wanted to try a tropical island paradise at one time, but then when I kept hearing stories from someone *ahem* about no veggies at the store for weeks at a time and such, I changed my mind.

LOL. Well, to be fair, not all tropical paradises are without veggies. Mine was a bit out of the way.

Threads like this really make me wonder about my childhood.

Sorry

Just allowing myself a little birthday enjoyment as I work today.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<Snippage> There is a Japanese saying: 住めば都 SUMEBA MIYAKO that means "home is wherever you live." I like to believe that it fits me. And I hope it will fit my kids.

That pretty well fits me. I grew up in the military life (see Homburg's quote below), and found that while the scenery changed, and the specific people changed (though their types remained pretty much the same), I was - and am - comfortable just about anywhere I have laid my pillow.

Never been my thing. I grew up in military quarters, and you can VERY little to quarters in the way of personalisation. As a result, my bedroom would have maybe a few posters (carefully) hung on the walls, and that was it. As an adult, I like the idea of decorations, but have no interest in doing it.

It's odd too, as I am always impressed with a nicely decorated house. Just not enough to fuss with it myself.

--

I have no "home" aside from what I make. I feel no real kinship to my extended family ....

Home, to me, is where I lay my head at night.

Yeah. Homburg expressed my experience and feelings pretty well here.

It's really an extreme aversion to cold that keeps me here.

Heh - that's kind of what I said just before moving to South Freakin' Dakota after 40 years in the South (OK, TX, FL, GA, TN). This was the coldest winter I've *ever* experienced, with temps down to -18ºF (-27.8C) with windchills down to -40F (-40C) and perhaps below. Some thermal underwear, a good parka with furlined hood, and a ski mask, and I was okay with it.

For me, my "roots" are ... well, peripatetic. It's not the place for me - it's who's IN the place.

 

[Homburg]

Sorry

Just allowing myself a little birthday enjoyment as I work today.

No problem at all, and no apology needed. Introspection is never a bad thing in my life. Probably another thing that hies from my childhood. Per force, the life of an army brat, especially an only child, includes loneliness. I could make a friend anywhere as a kid, but every time I moved I lost those friends and found myself alone again. For me, that meant time spent inside my own head. With the bent my brain takes, that became the sort of introspection most adults don't get down to, let alone most kids.

In short, I'm cool with it. No worries.


ETA: And, if anyone is wondering, I'm not complaining about the loneliness part. I never really saw it that way as a kid. Sometimes it sucked, but it was more boredom than anything else. I knew without a doubt that I would find something interesting to do, and someone interesting to hang out with, soon enough. As an adult, I can look back and see it as loneliness, but I never moped around or anything. I liked my childhood. Wouldn't change a thing.

 

[intothewoods]

I vote gum.

I have moved often enough and could do so again if I needed to. On the other hand, as I get older, the idea of starting over and making new friends is somewhat daunting. Eh, I don't know. Gum.

I don't think I could grow up anywhere in the U.S. other than NYC or some other place with a sizeable Jewish pop and feel like, wow, this place is in the fabric of my being. I've always felt like a bit of an outsider.

On the other hand, I do have great affection for some of the places I've lived and visited. I just wouldn't describe that feeling as the same as roots. I don't have to live anywere.

 

[sb2009]

I like to roam. I hate owning a house, because I feel trapped sometimes.

 

[YourCaptor]

I kind of associate traveling with settling down. I don’t “visit”, I go there to live. It’s the change of setting that I crave. Things are most beautiful when you first experience them, after that they get gray. When the world turns gray I want to move.

I suppose that could be due to how I grew up, or genetic. Germans seem to be all about travel, no matter where I go there’s always some weird ass German to talk to and ask hows what.

As a kid I moved in and out of my parents home every 2-3 months. Went through friends and adult figures fast cause they could be gone any day. Contrary to that, my dad often took the family out to a military practice range. A permit was required to step on the land so we were always alone on this large hillside meadow in the middle of the woods. It was really calm and peaceful, we’d spend all day there. Home was always away from home. Within the first 10 years of my life my family lived in about 5 houses and 2 countries.

 

[kjaere]

I've always loved moving. I love beginning new things, finding new favorite places, meeting new people, learning the names of the wildflowers and trees, learning the shortcuts home. I've loved living all over the US and in Canada. I also like to change jobs and become restless when I've done one thing for too long.

But I'm developing roots now in the place I live. Like Keroin, I've left my heart in many places. I fall in love with all of my homes. Unlike her, I feel stretched thin now. Like I can't fully take in or give all of myself to a new landscape or culture. So, while I am restless and ready to move on to a new place, on another level I'm enjoying the deeper ties I've formed living in a town for a longer time. I'm finally taking comfort in the familiar.

 

[wicked woman]

Never been my thing. I grew up in military quarters, and you can VERY little to quarters in the way of personalisation. As a result, my bedroom would have maybe a few posters (carefully) hung on the walls, and that was it. As an adult, I like the idea of decorations, but have no interest in doing it.

It's odd too, as I am always impressed with a nicely decorated house. Just not enough to fuss with it myself.

Yes but if I could draw, I probably would have been an interior designer. Think that might explain the difference?

 

[culloden]

Before I lived where I am now, I spent 35 years within 30 miles of where I was born. I've lived where I am now for 14 years. I serve on several town boards, and have a small side business. My roots are deep.

That said, I've been to 45 states and 3 foreign countries. I love to travel, and don't hesitate to hop a plane. But I love to come home.

Lately, I've been reading stuff by Wendall Berry, who makes an outstanding case for living in one place. There is a richness that can only be found by investing oneself in the right spot. Yet I still feel a pull to move. I love the desert, and when I'm sweating through July humidity or grouching through a March blizzard, Arizona seems more and more right.

Would that I could live forever so that I could do everything and live everywhere.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

I'm generally rather a homebody as well. I like my little nest, I like knowing that that's my space, and I'm protective of it. (It's what you get growing up with three younger brothers and living in a 3 bedroom house for the most part)

I usually don't like change.

But, I do like to go on holidays and I do like to explore. But I like knowing I have home to come back to.

I also have about 2.5 years left on my degree, and last year, I started telling everyone that I wanted to go overseas and work for a bit when I finished. I think it's my way of psyching myself up for it. I don't like change that's been dumped on me, I like gradual ones that I'm well prepared for.

That being said, I haven't moved far from home. It's an hour away. My father still lives in, and I believe will die in, the town where he was born. 2 of my brothers have also bought houses in the same town, but they're young, who knows where they might end up in the future, and third brother is also less than an hour away.

The apple doesn't roll far from the tree in our case at least, so who knows. In a few years I might change my mind about going OS.

 

[Netzach]

It's a high bar that can get me to go somewhere or stay somewhere. I never thought I'd leave NYC, but I fell in love with people, and then this place, and I don't want to leave here either. I don't like to travel unless it's for a month at a time, at least - I like to have immersions. I've been willing to uproot and pioneer though, the way no one else in my family has successfully.

Gum, I guess?

 

[Miss Sixxy]

I don't mind change and welcome it no matter how frequently. It's funny because my Mom tells me I used to cling to her skirts and tell her I was never getting married and going to live with her forever. So much for that! as soon as I graduated college I went as far away as I could within the state (monetary purposes) and then promptly moved to FL after I graduated.

I'm beginning to get restless right now - been in MA for 8 years. Waaay too long.

 

[midwestyankee]

Yes but if I could draw, I probably would have been an interior designer. Think that might explain the difference?

Is this necessary any longer, what with this thing they call the computer these days?

 

[midwestyankee]

To answer the question on the table: I have only ever lived in three locales. However, I do get wanderlust quite regularly and when the wanderlust hits I only feel right if I'm on the move.

 

[wicked woman]

Is this necessary any longer, what with this thing they call the computer these days?

I don't know about now but I would think it was still applicable. If you're trying to explain a concept to a client, who can't visualize it, its more likely that an interior designer would pull out paper and pencil and sketch it, than to open a laptop with AutoCad software and do a proper diagram.

Oh and Yank when I was considering it originally the pen had just been invented.

 

[laceandcogs]

I do not like to travel. I do not like to roam, I do not like to sleep in a bed other than my own. I do not like to cook in unfamiliar kitchens, or shower in strange new bathrooms.

I love my little home. I have too many roommates, sure, but I love them all. I love the fact that I can reach into my drawer and lay my hand on exactly the spoon I wanted without looking. I love the fact that my remote controls are always lined up on the coffee table with perfectly parallel imaginary dividers between them, accounting, of course, for the fact that they stubbornly refuse to be rectangular and neat. I love the fact that my DVD cabinets are arranged alphabetically by genre and my books ordered alphabetically by author and chronologically by date written, _not_ date published. I love my OCD, and I love the fact that I am finally able to think of it not as a failing but as an extraordinarily and attractively arranged path to success! (laughs)

I used to think that exploring the world was something I should want to do. I tried really hard to want to do it. But it's just not in me. If wanderlust is genetic, I guess my ancestors were Hobbits... after all, adventure makes one late for dinner.

 

[midwestyankee]

I don't know about now but I would think it was still applicable. If you're trying to explain a concept to a client, who can't visualize it, its more likely that an interior designer would pull out paper and pencil and sketch it, than to open a laptop with AutoCad software and do a proper diagram.

Oh and Yank when I was considering it originally the pen had just been invented.

When I was first teaching the kids wrote with charcoal on the backs of shingles.

 

[graceanne]

I'm a homebody. I'm an army brat and my mom had a wandering foot. We moved A LOT and normally we only moved with what Mom could fit in the car. By the time I was in 6th grade I'd gone to 8 different schools. We arrived in Oregon with my mom's picture albums, our baby books, a suite case of clothes each, some books, a doll, and our pets. I've had enough pulling up roots to last a life time. Mom finally moved us back to her home, here in Oregon, and God willing here I will stay.

That said, I don't have any issues with switching houses as long as we're in the same general area.

 

[Master_plus_1]

I'm a mix. My natural tendency is towards growing deep roots because I like the comfort of a place that gets to be exactly the way I like it over time and I really like knowing all the cool places to go to in the vicinity that you only find our about when you've lived there for a while (especially since I've mostly lived in large cities). On the other hand in the two decades of being a teenager and then adult I've lived in three different countries so I've learned to dive into the fun of discovering new places.

Got a new move on the horizon too, cross-border again. I'm looking forward to it aside from the logistics headaches, expense and giving up the warm TX weather (moving back to Canada).

 

[Soumis]

I love to move and travel. I like to wander, to find new holes, new vistas. That being said, Texas has always been my permanent residence. I'm not sure it'll last, but I'll always identify as a Texan.

 

[Cattypuss]

I have two conflicting things going on in me - I LOATHE the process of moving house (the looking for somewhere to live, the hassle, the packing, the unpacking, the paperwork), but apart from that I love moving around.

When I last moved house, two years ago, I calculated that I'd moved house 15 times in the previous 23 years. Which is a lot of hassle and packing and unpacking for someone who hates that stuff.

I've lived and worked in other countries and I've lived and worked in various parts of this country.

When my marriage failed two years ago (when I was 40), I did something that was fairly true to my character - I upped sticks and moved 250 miles to the other end of England, and bought a house in a place where I knew NOBODY at all (in fact, knew nobody within a 180-mile radius), and just started over. I have zero regrets. I moved here becuase the scenery's beautiful here and I knew that the friends and the men and the life would happen once I got here.