TheRedChamber
Apprentice
- Joined
- Mar 21, 2014
- Posts
- 1,820
I'm currently seeking a hot female lawyer to defend me in court.
I know what you're thinking. I'm not one of those weirdos who agree to be billed $300 a hour just to spend time in the company of a tough independant slightly frightening women. This is a response to genuine legal action and I need help (see this thread for details).
Why do you need a hot female lawyer, you ask? Well it's quite simple. My opponent is a devious she-devil, product of a succubus and a harpy and she will not hesistate to use her extreme sexuality to wrap the jury and the judge round her little finger. She will betwitch all and sundry and 69 with Lady Liberty on the very steps of the Supreme Court if she deems it necessarily. She needs to be stopped and only a stunningly attractive attorney of the highest moral fiber will be able to win victory.
The ideal candidate will be:
a) Over 5 ft 11 in heels.
b) Have large 44DD breasts - this case may very well come down to how much the male members of the jury want to motorboat them.
c) Be completely confident in her sexuality which will be wholely dominant.
d) Be able to reduce a grown man, nay a senior judge, to jelly with a single glance.
e) Under no circumstances may she be blonde.
I will not be able to pay this lawyer, so it is important she takes on this work pro-blow job...I mean pro-bono.
The prosecution may have a space octopus so she needs to be able to defend herself in court. She doesn't need to be She-Hulk but...actually She-Hulk would be pretty much ideal.
This is not a personal ad, but we all know from television that any strong female lawyer must, by definition have a love-life that is a complete mess, parading a string of hot but ultimately disasterous men through her bedroom. Therefore, I resolve to sleep with whoever I hire at the appropriate junction and not be too upset when she wakes up and realizes what a complete disaster last night was.
I know what you're thinking. I'm not one of those weirdos who agree to be billed $300 a hour just to spend time in the company of a tough independant slightly frightening women. This is a response to genuine legal action and I need help (see this thread for details).
Why do you need a hot female lawyer, you ask? Well it's quite simple. My opponent is a devious she-devil, product of a succubus and a harpy and she will not hesistate to use her extreme sexuality to wrap the jury and the judge round her little finger. She will betwitch all and sundry and 69 with Lady Liberty on the very steps of the Supreme Court if she deems it necessarily. She needs to be stopped and only a stunningly attractive attorney of the highest moral fiber will be able to win victory.
The ideal candidate will be:
a) Over 5 ft 11 in heels.
b) Have large 44DD breasts - this case may very well come down to how much the male members of the jury want to motorboat them.
c) Be completely confident in her sexuality which will be wholely dominant.
d) Be able to reduce a grown man, nay a senior judge, to jelly with a single glance.
e) Under no circumstances may she be blonde.
I will not be able to pay this lawyer, so it is important she takes on this work pro-blow job...I mean pro-bono.
The prosecution may have a space octopus so she needs to be able to defend herself in court. She doesn't need to be She-Hulk but...actually She-Hulk would be pretty much ideal.
This is not a personal ad, but we all know from television that any strong female lawyer must, by definition have a love-life that is a complete mess, parading a string of hot but ultimately disasterous men through her bedroom. Therefore, I resolve to sleep with whoever I hire at the appropriate junction and not be too upset when she wakes up and realizes what a complete disaster last night was.
