Honesty.

[Freya]

Why is this such a difficult concept these days? It seems to me that being honest with others has become a lost art. So many people claim to be honest, yet they disprove themselves by their own actions. Has this changed over the years? Do you think people are generally more or less honest than they used to be? Are the ones you know in real life more or less honest than online?

 

[Romial]

I never lie to people. Sure the truth may hurt now, but it may hurt alot more in the future.

 

[Guest]

 

[Freya]

I never lie to people. Sure the truth may hurt now, but it may hurt alot more in the future.

Dishonesty by evasion is just as bad. Even those who claim to never lie are usually guilty of evasion tactics.

Not saying you in particular, but people in general.


And no Max.

 

[Mia62]

I lied for so many years...that I have made it a point to be honest with those in my life now...no matter what the consequences.

 

[Guest]

I can't get away with a smart ass answer here can I???

Tell me, honestly.

lick

 

[Romial]

Dishonesty by evasion is just as bad. Even those who claim to never lie are usually guilty of evasion tactics.

Not saying you in particular, but people in general.


And no Max.

Heh I don't evade anything anyways. Someone asks a question I'll give them my honset answer. No 2 ways about it.

 

[Sillyman]

No, I think people have always lied. I think lying is the key to making yourself be successful in life, and that it is not morally wrong to lie under many circumstances.

Hucksters have been around ever since there has been money, and manipulative vipers have been around ever since humans could gather at a table. Telling people what they want to hear is an ancient art, and in some cultures being able to fake sincerity well was more of a virtue than actual honesty.

Honesty also has been conditional. You don't lie to your boss, or you don't lie to your parents, or you don't lie to your priest, or you don't lie to God. Nobody cares if you lie to your children, if you lie to your employees or servants, if you lie to your congregation, and if you can lie to your customers you will certainly fucking try.

 

[Freya]

I lied for so many years...that I have made it a point to be honest with those in my life now...no matter what the consequences.

I used to be more of a "tell them what they want to hear" person, but now I really make it a point to be honest with everyone, even if I know it's not what they want to hear. I really just wish more people felt that way.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Dishonesty by evasion is just as bad. Even those who claim to never lie are usually guilty of evasion tactics.

Depends on the situation. No one short of my wife would need to know EVERYTHING, you know?

 

[Mia62]

No one short of my wife would need to know EVERYTHING, you know?

Holy crap, batman!! You're married?? How the heck did I miss that?

 

[Freya]

Depends on the situation. No one short of my wife would need to know EVERYTHING, you know?

I have more secrets, and buried spots than a lot of people, and I certainly don't think that everyone needs to be out broadcasting every sordid detail of their lives, for the sake of honesty. But on the other hand, if someone asks me straight out about an element of my past, I don't lie. Also, in regards to relationships - friends or otherwise - I am very up front about what I want, need and expect, and would love to see that quality in others.

Sillyman, you make very good points. Thank you.

 

[Lost Cause]

Define "lie".......

Concealing information by a false statement, that will save someone's life?

Recognizing that someone is really mentally injured, and saying "the truth" at that time will cause more damage than it being revealed at another time?

By being in a life and death situation, and telling someone that they look horrible, and that they're probably not going to make it?

By loving someone so much that even though they have a flaw that they're obsessed with, it doesn't matter to you, so you tell them it doesn't exist? (My ex had genetically wide hips, and was obsessed with it, I loved the whole person, not whether they were "perfect.")

I generally say what's on my mind, but will hold back if I don't think it is such a big deal, I will not tell the truth if I think the information will be used for a argument, or fight.

 

[sufisaint]

We call lying ....marketing or spin control now. Its cultural accepted on a mass level and now on an individual level as well. You will do very well in this world if you know how to be a good liar...but honesty...truth are their own rewards...living a true life is truly living...

 

[Freya]

Re: Define "lie".......

Concealing information by a false statement, that will save someone's life?

Recognizing that someone is really mentally injured, and saying "the truth" at that time will cause more damage than it being revealed at another time?

By being in a life and death situation, and telling someone that they look horrible, and that they're probably not going to make it?

By loving someone so much that even though they have a flaw that they're obsessed with, it doesn't matter to you, so you tell them it doesn't exist? (My ex had genetically wide hips, and was obsessed with it, I loved the whole person, not whether they were "perfect.")

I generally say what's on my mind, but will hold back if I don't think it is such a big deal, I will not tell the truth if I think the information will be used for a argument, or fight.

I'm talking the day to day stuff. Not live saving, or ending, information - just basic honesty about yourself, your intentions, your activities. Like "Hey, you know what? I'm probably not going to call you", or "No, I really have no interest in carrying this friendship further", or things like that.

I see it on here, people telling others what they want to hear, rather than the truth. I understand the concept of not saying anything if you can't say anything nice, but why say something at all if you don't mean it?

 

[Richard49]

honesty is the absence of deciet

 

[SpiceCake]

When I am asked a direct question, I will answer honestly.

 

[Richard49]

Honesty without compassion is hostiliy

 

[Freya]

honesty is the absence of deciet

Is deceit the norm anymore?

 

[Richard49]

Is deceit the norm anymore?

anymore?

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Holy crap, batman!! You're married?? How the heck did I miss that?

LOL...that was a 'lie' by misdirection. If I were married, my wife would need to know everything.

 

[concrete]

my penis does get hard..
that's why i'm called CONCRETE...
otherwise I talk the truth......

 

[P. B. Walker]

Well I don't think anyone is 100% honest. I would agree that the trend toward being dishonest is getting worse and worse. It's more than likely due to the bullshit people see on TV growing up and the disintegration of family values. Plus, sometimes it takes courage to be totally honest with people, especially if you've done a person wrong, or if being honest makes you look bad. And I've noticed many people in todays world just have no backbone what so ever.

Just my two cents.

PBW

 

[Freya]

anymore?

Were people more honest in the past? Before the era of spin control, and media induced needs for acceptance?

 

[Eumenides]

I don't watch ER very much anymore, but I caught the last bit yesterday, and was very impressed with the guy who played the mean doctor (yes, i can't remember his fool name). He had a bit where he and the british doctor were talking about Karma. He said, you know, I haven't been the nicest person, but I've always been honest. Made people cry sometimes, hurt a few feelings, bruised a few egos, made a few people mad. But I've always had honesty on my side. How many people can say that about themselves? ... I don't deserve this.

Not many people can claim total honesty. I can't. I spent years lying to my parents, and they were after the years where you're *expected* to lie to them. I've told white lies that ended up coming out and biting me in the ass. In the end, it's been so much easier to be honest. I don't succeed at it all the time, because I have a great fear of hurting people's feelings, but I'm working on it a day at a time. I've been trying for that happy medium where you don't sacrifice honesty, but neither do you sacrifice the feelings of others.

For some reason, honesty is a difficult human attribute to maintain. I think it's because at the time, it just *seems* easier to lie. We are, after all, an immediate gratification society.