Helping a man cum. Some advice.

[missmixalot]

This is a bit of an odd one but I wonder if anyone has any advice.
I do a variety of CMnf events organised by Sir. At one last weekend there was a new gentleman attending. The event consisted of me in a relaxed setting chatting to the men naked for and enjoying a buffet lunch during the day and then in the evening the men were allowed to touch my body but they remained clothed and it was still casual. At the very end of the evening Sir allowed me to relieve the men if they required it. The new man asked for relief so we went into the bedroom and I used my hand and mouth but he didn't cum despite an erection. He had been hard during the day quite a bit so I guess he needed relief (some men relieve themselves during the event, in private in the toilet) and he hadn't cum. He didn't seem shy and enjoyed touching me. I tried for a while to make him cum but in the end he said he was a little sore and we left it.
I felt a bit useless and wondering why he didn't cum. He is in his 50s but a lot of the men who attend are older and normally cum quite easily.

 

[Iwantitnowpleas]

Not you

If he is like me it's hard or almost impossible to cum with someone else. My GF's loved me because I could pleasure them all day and night (when I was young). My deep down secret was that I wanted to be them not with them. So worry not. He went home and wacked off.

 

[missmixalot]

If he is like me it's hard or almost impossible to cum with someone else. My GF's loved me because I could pleasure them all day and night (when I was young). My deep down secret was that I wanted to be them not with them. So worry not. He went home and wacked off.

Thank you for the reassurance. I wonder why he asked for relief though?

 

[Iwantitnowpleas]

Thank you for the reassurance. I wonder why he asked for relief though?

Just cause he can't cum doesn't mean it doesn't feel wonderful. Another thought, introducing something into his ass would probably work. I've recently found that to be true for me.

 

[SophieUK]

Thank you for the reassurance. I wonder why he asked for relief though?

Maybe he liked the idea (possibly you are stunning ?) but couldn't go through with it ?
Curious, I will admit ..

 

[missmixalot]

Just cause he can't cum doesn't mean it doesn't feel wonderful. Another thought, introducing something into his ass would probably work. I've recently found that to be true for me.

Ill ask him at the bext event he attends if he does attend another that is.

 

[missmixalot]

Maybe he liked the idea (possibly you are stunning ?) but couldn't go through with it ?
Curious, I will admit ..

Yes, I wonder why he asked if he has provlems climaxing.

 

[HoldYouDown]

I have had this happen, it's not unusual. For me it's a little bit of anxiety because other people are around. Last year my girlfriend and I were fucking in a hotel rooftop pool at night. No one was around and it seemed safe, but I couldn't climax because I couldn't totally relax. I felt like we might get busted. This in spite of the fact that I think it's hot that people might be watching us.

Another time a girl wanted to get off me and two other guys in succession. I went first and we went into the bathroom. She blew me, I jerked off, she jerked me off....could not cum. Something about knowing there were two guys outside waiting their turns.

Yet I was hard for both - so it's not like I couldn't perform. I also enjoyed both experiences completely even without the orgasm. Perhaps this man needs to attend another event now that's more used to it.

 

[missmixalot]

I have had this happen, it's not unusual. For me it's a little bit of anxiety because other people are around. Last year my girlfriend and I were fucking in a hotel rooftop pool at night. No one was around and it seemed safe, but I couldn't climax because I couldn't totally relax. I felt like we might get busted. This in spite of the fact that I think it's hot that people might be watching us.

Another time a girl wanted to get off me and two other guys in succession. I went first and we went into the bathroom. She blew me, I jerked off, she jerked me off....could not cum. Something about knowing there were two guys outside waiting their turns.

Yet I was hard for both - so it's not like I couldn't perform. I also enjoyed both experiences completely even without the orgasm. Perhaps this man needs to attend another event now that's more used to it.

Maybe it was anxiety. He seemed to want to cum and it was obvious I was trying to make him. Just feel a bit uselesss and sorry for him. U hope he attends another event although not all allow touching and relief from me. It is up to Sir what I do at them.

 

[ArabianNights]

I wouldnt stress about it too much, I think most people have been in situations where they have really wanted to cum and just couldnt get over the edge.

I am sure next time you meet he will.

I find when that happens, if i have a break from the action, relax and then start again I usually cum.

 

[missmixalot]

I wouldnt stress about it too much, I think most people have been in situations where they have really wanted to cum and just couldnt get over the edge.

I am sure next time you meet he will.

I find when that happens, if i have a break from the action, relax and then start again I usually cum.

I hope he attends anither event and I can help him cum.

 

[littlecordelera]

I agree with what others have said in that it is probably performance anxiety. I'm married, but I date other guys, and this is not uncommon. Over the years, and just by happenstance, I have learned that there are ways to lessen the chance of this happening. First of all, I never display my desire for him to cum. I only display my own enjoyment of giving him pleasure - and I do enjoy it. Secondly, I do a lot of teasing before I ever begin trying to make a guy cum. The teasing part makes a big difference, and sometimes it alone causes the guy to cum.

As weird as this may sound, once it gets down to sex, I now pretty much ignore the guy and focus exclusively on his cock as my lover. You've heard the term. It's called "cock worship." It works, but it has its drawbacks. Nowadays, I deal with more premature ejaculation than inability to cum.

But don't get me wrong. I love the pre-mees. But that's another subject entirely.

 

[NOBGE]

As someone who has this problem, it could be he's on some medications causing the problem. I have no problem getting hard but ejaculating often takes a lot of time. My lover, meanwhile, enjoys a hard cock and has no complaints.

 

[missmixalot]

I agree with what others have said in that it is probably performance anxiety. I'm married, but I date other guys, and this is not uncommon. Over the years, and just by happenstance, I have learned that there are ways to lessen the chance of this happening. First of all, I never display my desire for him to cum. I only display my own enjoyment of giving him pleasure - and I do enjoy it. Secondly, I do a lot of teasing before I ever begin trying to make a guy cum. The teasing part makes a big difference, and sometimes it alone causes the guy to cum.



As weird as this may sound, once it gets down to sex, I now pretty much ignore the guy and focus exclusively on his cock as my lover. You've heard the term. It's called "cock worship." It works, but it has its drawbacks. Nowadays, I deal with more premature ejaculation than inability to cum.

But don't get me wrong. I love the pre-mees. But that's another subject entirely.

Yes, it could be he requires a different type of attention. Normally at these events the men are very aroused by the time Sir allows me to relieve them so I do tease and make it nice for them but normally they cum quickly with either my hand or mouth. Those that require a little longer I work thier cock and balls with my tongue abd mouth and they usually cum quickly after that. Cock worship is normally what I do at a different type of event

 

[missmixalot]

As someone who has this problem, it could be he's on some medications causing the problem. I have no problem getting hard but ejaculating often takes a lot of time. My lover, meanwhile, enjoys a hard cock and has no complaints.

Good point Ill chrck with him.

 

[littlecordelera]

Yes, it could be he requires a different type of attention. Normally at these events the men are very aroused by the time Sir allows me to relieve them so I do tease and make it nice for them but normally they cum quickly with either my hand or mouth. Those that require a little longer I work thier cock and balls with my tongue abd mouth and they usually cum quickly after that. Cock worship is normally what I do at a different type of event

Oops, I just realized I read your original post incorrectly. I thought this was about CFNM. I was backwards. Sorry.

 

[missmixalot]

Oops, I just realized I read your original post incorrectly. I thought this was about CFNM. I was backwards. Sorry.

Well it sort of is. A cmnf event where the men are allowed to touch and at the end of the event I am allowed to relieve those who want it in private. So, yes there is arousal of the men

 

[littlecordelera]

Well it sort of is. A cmnf event where the men are allowed to touch and at the end of the event I am allowed to relieve those who want it in private. So, yes there is arousal of the men

Yeah, I get it now, and everything I initially said is still valid, but I was viewing the situation in a completely different light. Having realized my mistake, I see your situation more appropriately.

 

[missmixalot]

Yeah, I get it now, and everything I initially said is still valid, but I was viewing the situation in a completely different light. Having realized my mistake, I see your situation more appropriately.

Yes, thanks I appreciate you advice and maybe if he attends a similar event in the future I'll fease more and not start off like I want him to cum quickly

 

[just4friends]

Try a finger or two rubbing inside his ass, just to drive in the point that cumming is your command not his decision. If he doesn't have the orgasm you are lookng for at least you can enjoy loads of his precum

 

[live4thebj]

This is a bit of an odd one but I wonder if anyone has any advice.
I do a variety of CMnf events organised by Sir. At one last weekend there was a new gentleman attending. The event consisted of me in a relaxed setting chatting to the men naked for and enjoying a buffet lunch during the day and then in the evening the men were allowed to touch my body but they remained clothed and it was still casual. At the very end of the evening Sir allowed me to relieve the men if they required it. The new man asked for relief so we went into the bedroom and I used my hand and mouth but he didn't cum despite an erection. He had been hard during the day quite a bit so I guess he needed relief (some men relieve themselves during the event, in private in the toilet) and he hadn't cum. He didn't seem shy and enjoyed touching me. I tried for a while to make him cum but in the end he said he was a little sore and we left it.
I felt a bit useless and wondering why he didn't cum. He is in his 50s but a lot of the men who attend are older and normally cum quite easily.

Try a finger in his ass and rube his prostate if he is okay with that.

 

[Nezhul]

Some men can't cum when they feel nervous. All while retaining an erection.

In fact, any feelings of discomfort - physical or mental - can be distracting enough to make cumming very hard.

I heard that some men have trouble cumming with their GF during sex, even. It's often tied with performance anxiety.

Other men don't enjoy a handjob and blowjob that much. They can't get in the zone and don't cum.

Some meds can cause anorgasmia. He could be the case.

High blood pressure can cause difficulty cumming (while at other times it can make you ejaculate way too soon).

Also I notice sometimes that when I hold back too long - I have difficulty reaching an orgasm even though I'm very horny. My dick doesn't feel much of the usual pleasure - only the sensation of rubbing that is not pleasurable. It can then go sore if I try to force it.

And other times still, I can experience this just without any reason. I get horny, decide to jack off, get some really good porn going, and.... nope. It just ends up being a struggle instead of an enjoyable ride.

These are only the reasons that I thought of just now. Sure there's more.
Just like with women, male orgasm is a complex psychological and physiological thing, and many things can go wrong there.

I wouldn't take it personally.

 

[missmixalot]

Some men can't cum when they feel nervous. All while retaining an erection.

In fact, any feelings of discomfort - physical or mental - can be distracting enough to make cumming very hard.

I heard that some men have trouble cumming with their GF during sex, even. It's often tied with performance anxiety.

Other men don't enjoy a handjob and blowjob that much. They can't get in the zone and don't cum.

Some meds can cause anorgasmia. He could be the case.

High blood pressure can cause difficulty cumming (while at other times it can make you ejaculate way too soon).

Also I notice sometimes that when I hold back too long - I have difficulty reaching an orgasm even though I'm very horny. My dick doesn't feel much of the usual pleasure - only the sensation of rubbing that is not pleasurable. It can then go sore if I try to force it.

And other times still, I can experience this just without any reason. I get horny, decide to jack off, get some really good porn going, and.... nope. It just ends up being a struggle instead of an enjoyable ride.

These are only the reasons that I thought of just now. Sure there's more.
Just like with women, male orgasm is a complex psychological and physiological thing, and many things can go wrong there.

I wouldn't take it personally.

Thank you for your reassurance. I hope we can work somethibg out the he attends future events.

 

[Sprydle]

hmmm... thoughts of the two of you standing... or even via lapdance... your backside onto his crotch... using yours hips... grinding and gyrating while pressing the soft round cheeks of your arse onto his shaft ... maybe even sneaking in a grope and stroke of his cock and balls... soft kisses to his neck and cheek if allowed... add in some naughty whispers with strong sexual overtones... and you can have him melting onto you in no time... i'd suggest enhancements like wrapping his cock up with your dampened knickers and stroking him... but you're the nm...

 

[missmixalot]

hmmm... thoughts of the two of you standing... or even via lapdance... your backside onto his crotch... using yours hips... grinding and gyrating while pressing the soft round cheeks of your arse onto his shaft ... maybe even sneaking in a grope and stroke of his cock and balls... soft kisses to his neck and cheek if allowed... add in some naughty whispers with strong sexual overtones... and you can have him melting onto you in no time... i'd suggest enhancements like wrapping his cock up with your dampened knickers and stroking him... but you're the nm...

I dont really do such things at the cmnf events. It is more sensual sucking and hand jobs and they usually cum quickly. Maybe it requires a rethink?