First time swingers club advice

[MaturemanAJ]

Then by god, her hookup for the evening had better respect that or he should be beaten, kicked out and maybe even charged with rape. He ignored her boundaries. Forcing your fingers inside of a woman who tells you not to, is rape.

But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about a husband telling his wife what HE IS allowing her to do during her hookups. That, to my thinking, is bullshit and will ultimately fail. ..If you're giving your partner permission to have sex with others that then it's for HER to decide and express to her hookup what she is or isn't comfortable with. Not you.

When we did swap we really had no rules because these were long time friends.
For me making out with someone becomes way too intimate and the rules go both ways not just me dictating things

 

[MyMostSecretLife]

Swingers’ clubs - at lest the nicer ones - are always very chill and respectful. Nobody will push you into doing something uncomfortable and everybody respects boundaries.

Maybe turn up and just watch, check out the vibe? There are always drinks and nibbles, and you can take your time figuring out which room to visit or even whether to strip down completely. Nobody will pressure you.

I love the lifestyle. Nobody judges you and you get to have lots of amazing sex with attractive, interesting people. Stick to the nicer meet-ups if you can. A particularly classy example I discussed here recently is the Penthouse Playroom in London (my welcome: https://www.imagebam.com/view/ME15B1UL) but there are equivalents in every major city.

Good luck!

Thank you for your advice, EmmAgain. Have you visited any in the US?

 

[hugh_jarce69]

This sounds really exciting @LittleGreene . I hope it works out for you. Some great advice here

Wish I had this sort of relationship.

 

[LittleGreene]

This sounds really exciting @LittleGreene . I hope it works out for you. Some great advice here

Wish I had this sort of relationship.

Thank you. Less than 2 weeks now

 

[bondandmoneypenny]

Rules are mutual, not one sided. And malleable. You're going to find that, if you continue in the LS, rules change. No kissing? That was one of our rules at the outset. It quickly became...odd not to kiss someone. Rules aren't him telling her what she can and can't do. They are mutually agreed upon and applied. And they change.

MP

 

[LittleGreene]

Thank you much. You’re not the first to tell us that rules can bend.

And I’m not sure I could do sex without kissing. In fact for our first visit kissing is a thing we’ve both agreed we can explore if available and willing.

 

[bondandmoneypenny]

We figured out early on that kissing is like an appetizer for us. We like appetizers.

MP

 

[LMWM321]

Thank you much. You’re not the first to tell us that rules can bend.

And I’m not sure I could do sex without kissing. In fact for our first visit kissing is a thing we’ve both agreed we can explore if available and willing.

Okay, so rules can bend? Do you mean bending a rule in the moment then admitting to it and apologizing for it later, or finding you really want to something that was forbidden so you ask to do it going forward?

To my thinking, if you're permission for your partner to have sex with others is predicated on what can and can't go where in the heat of the moment, it's inevitable a line will be crossed.

I think the only rule that makes sense is to agree that there aren't any. A couple needs to be fully okay with whatever consensual sex happens with the other's hookup or they're not really ready to share their partner with someone else. So I'd take swinging off the table.

 

[LittleGreene]

Okay, so rules can bend? Do you mean bending a rule in the moment then admitting to it and apologizing for it later, or finding you really want to something that was forbidden so you ask to do it going forward?

To my thinking, if you're permission for your partner to have sex with others is predicated on what can and can't go where in the heat of the moment, it's inevitable a line will be crossed.

I think the only rule that makes sense is to agree that there aren't any. A couples needs to be fully okay with whatever consensual sex happens between their spouse and his/her hookup or you're not really ready to share your partner with anyone else. So I'd take swinging off the table.

No - sorry, I meant over time they should bend with experience (not in the heat of the moment)

That was badly worded from me.

This first visit has hard boundaries we have set and won’t be broken.

 

[Live4themoments]

Since you are going for the first time you might want to consider this. It will take a couple of times though. The first time going it may "blow your mind" and the things you see are beyond imagination. Or on the other hand, if you already have a preconceived idea based on what you were told or read it may be a little disappointing. The first time going if you can maintain self control, just go and watch/observe what takes place. Take mental notes of situations, the people there, people you talked and flirted with, any propositions, etc. Don't engage in any sexual activity there (yeah much willpower is called for), go back to your place and discuss what happened that night with husband/sig other. Talk about details, what you enjoyed or disliked, what to do in certain situations, what you are interested in doing, and so on. Then modify or create your rules with a better understanding what takes place. Think about and discuss what if situations and how your partner would feel or respond. The next night (or opportunity) revisit with these new rules and enjoy yourselves. Best of luck.