Help! Spider!

[Selena_Kitt]

Since we've moved out to the "country" there have been all sorts of new creepy crawlies I've had to deal with... but the spiders... I can't deal with the spiders.

I'm hiding in my room right now. There's the biggest, blackest spider I have EVER seen downstairs. I saw it two days ago, crawling across the floor. It ran under a bookcase and disappeared. The other day it ran under the desk. NOW it was crawling across the top of the curtains.

I can't handle spiders. Truly. Snakes, mice, whatever, I'm fine, but not spiders. I know it's totally irrational, I know they can't hurt me (I think?) but I can't get past the phobia.

HOW DO I GET IT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE?!?!

DH is never here when I see the damned thing, so I haven't been able to get him to kill it--yet!

Help!!!!!!!!!

 

[Guest]

Are you my wife? Killing spiders is in her top three reasons for having married me.

I suggest selling the house, and moving, if there is no one to kill it for you.

Or, sing "The Banana Boat" song at the top of your lungs, over and over. Spiiders are known to hate that. It's scientfic fact.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Are you my wife? Killing spiders is in her top three reasons for having married me.

I suggest selling the house, and moving, if there is no one to kill it for you.

Or, sing "The Banana Boat" song at the top of your lungs, over and over. Spiiders are known to hate that. It's scientfic fact.

What are they lyrics?

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Some spiders are quite dangerous. I know this won't help your fear of them any, and it will definitely prevent you from handling it long enough to get it out of the house, but it is true.

Now, on to the helpful bit

Get a large piece of sturdy paper, or thin cardboard or something. Thin flexible (but still sturdy) plastic will do. Grab a cup as well. Lure, or force the spider onto the paper (or plastic) and place the cup over the bugger. Procede to doorway or window of your choise, and toss outside. If it stays locked into the cup, just place it down and come back later when the spider is gone.

 

[RedHairedandFriendly]

Grab some sort of areosal can and spray the living hell out of it! It will fall, you will scream and jump back, then take a breath and assualt that damn, wicked thing again with more areosal, coat that baby. Either it will curl up in a ball or you'll have an advantage of height on him. . . You will tower over the evil and you can crush it with a book, shoe, bookshelf.

I had a poem for my kids when they were little and scared of flies. LOL


"You are bigger than the fly.
You can smash it and watch it die. "

*I don't like spiders either and often have to call someone in to kill it.*

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Some spiders are quite dangerous. I know this won't help your fear of them any, and it will definitely prevent you from handling it long enough to get it out of the house, but it is true.

Oh gee thanks you always know just the right thing to say!

HANDLE it!??!? HANDLE it!?!??!?! I don't even want to be in the same STATE with this thing!!!

You want me to capture it!? Are you INSANE!?!?!?

If I could get past my paralyzing fear long enough to get NEAR it, I'd crush it with something really fricking heavy... anyone have an anvil???

But unfortunately, I completely freeze--then I scream and run the other way.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Grab some sort of areosal can and spray the living hell out of it! It will fall, you will scream and jump back, then take a breath and assualt that damn, wicked thing again with more areosal, coat that baby. Either it will curl up in a ball or you'll have an advantage of height on him. . . You will tower over the evil and you can crush it with a book, shoe, bookshelf.

I had a poem for my kids when they were little and scared of flies. LOL


"You are bigger than the fly.
You can smash it and watch it die. "

*I don't like spiders either and often have to call someone in to kill it.*

Oh my God! I love that!

You can do it Selena! (from one girl in the country who hates spiders to another)

Seriously, regular good vacumning can alleviate many of them. Also make sure the grass and weeds around the base of the house stay down. Lastly, you can have someone spray the basement. I also think making sure any holes in the floor or baseboards around pipes etc are sealed with that foam stuff helps. And, wispy cobwebs sometimes aren't so make sure you get rid of them. Good luck.

 

[Guest]

anyone have an anvil???

Sorry, Wiley Coyote borrowed mine and hasn't returned it yet.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Oh gee thanks you always know just the right thing to say!

HANDLE it!??!? HANDLE it!?!??!?! I don't even want to be in the same STATE with this thing!!!

You want me to capture it!? Are you INSANE!?!?!?

If I could get past my paralyzing fear long enough to get NEAR it, I'd crush it with something really fricking heavy... anyone have an anvil???

But unfortunately, I completely freeze--then I scream and run the other way.

It's like my friend asked what was the worst that could happen, looking for relief from his woes. I didn't give him relief. I told him the worst that could happen

And yes, I would prefer to toss spiders out into the yard than crush them. I hate the messy squish that occure when crushing bugs and such.

 

[rachlou]

Agggghhhhh! I'm with you on the paralysed fear bit. I get my neighbour to deal with them. If its that big, shut the door on the room it's in and put a towel or something along the bottom of the door (just in case it does a houdini and escapes).

Then call the cavalry in. Send this brave person into the room, barricade them into said room, and refuse to let them out until they can prove they have captured/killed spider.

Good luck!

 

[MarshAlien]

If it's a regular black spider you want to stand up tall and look mean so they run away. If it's a grizzly spider, you want to look really small and non-threatening, so it won't consider you a competitor.

No, wait. That's bears. My bad.

Seriously, fly swatter. They're very soft (spiders). And much slower than flies.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

And yes, I would prefer to toss spiders out into the yard than crush them. I hate the messy squish that occure when crushing bugs and such.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! *SHUDDER*
OMG how do you DO that??? You know JUST the thing to say, right? LOL

Agggghhhhh! I'm with you on the paralysed fear bit. I get my neighbour to deal with them. If its that big, shut the door on the room it's in and put a towel or something along the bottom of the door (just in case it does a houdini and escapes).

Then call the cavalry in. Send this brave person into the room, barricade them into said room, and refuse to let them out until they can prove they have captured/killed spider.

That would work... except there's no door!!! It's a tri-level, and there's access to all three levels - I can't shut it in!!

However, I HAVE shut myself in. I'm in my room now, with a towel shoved under the door. DH has been called (he's at work)... the problem is, I have to venture out in about 45 minutes to go get the kiddos... EEK!

 

[Stella_Omega]

Some spiders are quite dangerous. I know this won't help your fear of them any, and it will definitely prevent you from handling it long enough to get it out of the house, but it is true.

Now, on to the helpful bit

Get a large piece of sturdy paper, or thin cardboard or something. Thin flexible (but still sturdy) plastic will do. Grab a cup as well. Lure, or force the spider onto the paper (or plastic) and place the cup over the bugger. Procede to doorway or window of your choise, and toss outside. If it stays locked into the cup, just place it down and come back later when the spider is gone.

Thee, you have it right, but backwards.
Instructions for those spooked by spiders;

FIRST, slam the cup over the spider-- to do this, you wil have to lure the spider onto a wall or the floor, of course, but we can't have everything all the time...

then slide the plastic or stiff paper under the mouth of the cup, to make a lid. You can turn the whole thing over and keeping the paper/whatever firmly over the mouth of the cup, carry the whole thing out the door, eeping all the way. Just toss everything away from you in a wild manner and scurry back inside. You can come back for the pieces of the cup later.

 

[jomar]

I'm hiding in my room right now. There's the biggest, blackest spider I have EVER seen downstairs. I saw it two days ago, crawling across the floor. It ran under a bookcase and disappeared. The other day it ran under the desk. NOW it was crawling across the top of the curtains.


Help!!!!!!!!!

At first, I thought it was a literary spider, but running under desks and on top of curtains, clearly it was looking for porn.

Here's what you do: Put on a sexy teddy or something, carry the laptop out to the back porch and set it on the ground. Have the screen showing a picture of a sexy spider. Leave the door open and your spider will crawl to the laptop. When he crawls on the keyboard, slam it shut, toss it and buy a new one. Never fails to work for me.

Okay, so the teddy was for me.

 

[glynndah]

Am I the only woman here who isn't scared of spiders and would have no trouble just walking over there and taking it outside?

Ten legs, however, is my limit. Those millipedes and centipedes are just way too creepy.

 

[MarshAlien]

Just as a warning, my law student informs me that burning your house down to get rid of a spider does not fall under the justifiable arson clause of most home insurance policies.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Here's what you do: Put on a sexy teddy or something, carry the laptop out to the back porch and set it on the ground...

Nuh-uh! The spider CAME FROM OUTSIDE! I'm not going out THERE again! :x


Anyone know if those supersonic pest repellants work??

I think I'm going to just start wearing them... think I can make some body armor out of them??

 

[MarshAlien]

I think I'm going to just start wearing them... think I can make some body armor out of them??

Spiders? Ooh, that would be cool. You have to be able to sew pretty well, though. They tend to fall apart.

You need a bird to catch the spider. Then you, the kittyn, catch the bird. That's how the song goes at any rate. Sort of.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Nuh-uh! The spider CAME FROM OUTSIDE! I'm not going out THERE again! :x


Anyone know if those supersonic pest repellants work??

I think I'm going to just start wearing them... think I can make some body armor out of them??

From a wonderful old book, The Space Child's Mother Goose;

Little Miss Muffet

Sits on her tuffet

In a nonchalant sort of a way.

With her force field around her

The spider, the bounder,

Is not in the picture today.

 

[tickledkitty]

I usually catch them in a shoe box and then run shuddering to the back door and toss the whole thing out and slam the door shut. Then I stand there for about 45 seconds still shuddering. Then I try to forget all about it.

My other plan of attack is to suck them into the vacuum cleaner using the long hose attachment so I don't have to get too close. Then I still stand there shuddering and try not to think about it crawling back out.

Even worse? Centipedes. But we won't go there.

 

[jomar]

Nuh-uh! The spider CAME FROM OUTSIDE! I'm not going out THERE again! :x

How do you know? those porn spiders are really quite bookish.









They can be creepy, but most are your friend, really. Except for the brown recluse and that lot. Don't worry, you'll get the best of it - he's more scared of you, you know.

 

[S-Des]

I think you should call Kiten. The two of you can stand on the bed and scream. It might not frighten the spider away, but it's the excellent start of one of my favorite fantasies.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!! *SHUDDER*
OMG how do you DO that??? You know JUST the thing to say, right? LOL

I could keep you awake all night with what I'm not saying

 

[Guest]

I could keep you awake all night with what I'm not saying

Good thing there are no bugs in Kiten's state.

If you don't count the ones that carry off small children.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

You guys are so mean!

I think I have a migraine from screaming so loud....

someone suggested a vaccum! That's not a bad solution... but I'd have to have a REALLLLLLY LONG attachment. Seriously. I can't get near it.

I'm not talking a little spider, here. I can even see those and leave them alone now and not freak out (too bad). except the jumping ones. Those creep me out a lot. I used to react this way to ANY spider. I'm getting better.

I found out what kind I'm sure it is:

http://extension.missouri.edu/stcharles/Home%20Horticulture/insects/wolf_spider.jpg

It was LOOKING at me... with all those EYES! Just sitting there LOOKING at me.

And if you think flies are faster than this spider, you're crazy. This thing is WICKED fast.

I went and picked up the kids and I'm barricaded in my room again. When DH comes home, he's going on a bug hunt. No bed for him until I see a spider corpse!