Help, how do I get my wife to agree…

[Fitguy0724]

It turns me on, the thought of my wife getting pleasured by another guy, or girl.

Just last night I asked her about an affair she had while married to her previous husband. She fucked her boss at work. She told me this years ago so I was aware of it. Last night after getting fucked by me I brought up the fact that I wanted to give her everything she desires, even another man. I asked her details about what they did together and assured her I was not upset or disgusted. I made her feel comfortable and told her it’s a turn on to have other men attracted to my wife.

She’s cheated on her ex husband many of times. She didn’t like sex with him as he has a micro cock. Since being with me she loves my huge cock, she said it what she always wanted and was looking for. Now that we are madly in love, she’s told me she not interested in other men or bringing anyone into our bed. She’s said many of times she would prefer a girl over a guy if she had to choose, even though she’s never been with a girl before but it’s a fantasy of hers.

I did everything I could to tell her I want to fulfill all her fantasies. Whether it be another girl or bringing a guy in. She was shocked I would allow another guy to fuck her. I told her it was a turn on. She went into details about what she and previous boss did when they fucked at work (he doesn’t work there anymore). She was embarrassed by what she did. I told her I thought it was a huge turn on and would be very open to bringing in another guy. She said it could ruin our nearly perfect marriage and sex life.

She told me many times how thrilling and exciting it was to be cheating. I agree as I also cheated on my ex wife. She said it was a huge rush. She also said that was in the past when she wasn’t happy. Now that she’s totally happy, we have a amazing sex life, and are madly in love, she not interested in anyone else.

I’m totally secure in our relationship. I’m not worried that she’ll leave me. I know what we have is totally special. I also know that bringing in another girl which has been a fantasy of her’s since being a little girl, would be sooo hot, she would love it. But she thinks I would want to fuck the other girl and she believes that I might like fucking the other girl more than fucking her (my wife).

I also think she would enjoy being fucked by another guy even though she won’t openly admit it.

How do I get my wife to agree to bring in either another woman or another guy into our bed? I’m sure she would love both, if she thought it wouldn’t ruin what we have now which is amazing.

Thank you for all your help.

 

[dannyboy1958]

sharing a bed

Your story sounds like it could be mine, even down to the affairs we both had, although hers was much more complex being with a man for 12 years who was still married and saw his wife every sunday and went on holiday with her - so my now wife took a boyfriend purely for the sex. I was unhappy in my releationship with my ex wife and when i met current wife, i felt nothing else was important, including 20 years of marriage. My current wife feels the same that as uch as she might want to bring a third party to our bed, it would ruin our marriage - questions what if i want to fuck the women she bring sin, ? what if she likes his cock such much over mine? and many more.
I think slolwy does it, introduce a fantasy partner and see her reaction, at a high point when shes excited, ask if shes wishes it were him/her and not you?

 

[JohnCash123]

Sounds like my life/wife

Both in our second marriage. We both cheated. I've asked her to fuck other men and women. She doesn't want that and is worried that the emotional part would kill our marriage

 

[Mr_Neb]

I get what you are saying but take a minute to see it from her point of view. You didn't give all the details but from what you did say, she may now feel that what she did in her first marriage was wrong and may have led to the breakup. She is now with you and may feel that she wants to not repeat the same mistake she made the first time.

Worse yet, she may feel that if she does give in to your fantasy, she may not have enough self control to not let it get away from her. You may be sure of your side of the marriage but she just may not want that temptation to risk what she now holds so dear.

My recommendation? Don't pressure her by asking what you want her to do. Instead, just talk to her about the affair(s) she had in her first marriage. If you get the idea that what I suggested above is the case, let it go. She is trying to do what she thinks is best for the marriage and that can't be bad.

 

[Muwarr90]

Trust her to know what she wants and doesn't want. Respect her enough to accept that decision.

 

[JR284]

I don't think it's a situation where you should be "convincing" her. Like others have said, you have to accept where she stands now and if it's not something she wants then you should accept it. That doesn't mean that you have to stop fantasizing about it. It sounds like she's more than happy to share details of her past with you so keep working with that. Maybe over time her own desires could come to the surface as well, and you can indulge if that happens. If it doesn't, then that's her choice as well.

 

[phil1955]

You don't get her to agree. She needs to reach that conclusion by herself. Make her aware that you would support her decision if she would like to date another man or woman and maybe settle for having some fun with fantasy. Also, I think as women age, they are more likely to consider adding a lover. Less pressure from work, raising kids, risking pregnancy, etc. so more time and energy to consider exploring her sexuality.

 

[SissySalina]

Are you doing this for Her or yourself? Are you trying to fulfill your fantasy?
Talk to Her but do not push Her, if She doesn't want to do it don't force it.

 

[oneblueye]

hey ...

You don't need to talk her into it --, because if you do and it goes sideways in your relationship, then you are the one that takes all the weight and ALL the responsibility
for the consequences.

What you need to do is HAVE her---, TALK---, YOU ---, into what it is you want...
I know how this sounds but nonetheless it can be more than 80 % effective in accomplishing what you think you want.
But I will tell you now--, be careful what you wish for -- but of course you won't listen to my warning and if you try this technique and it works for you --, I guarantee you will be cursing my name.

Everything in this life is 'a give and a take' --,
In other words, what ever this technique gives,
it will take just as much.

Still think you KNOW what you want?

PM me.

 

[Fitguy0724]

Your story sounds like it could be mine, even down to the affairs we both had, although hers was much more complex being with a man for 12 years who was still married and saw his wife every sunday and went on holiday with her - so my now wife took a boyfriend purely for the sex. I was unhappy in my releationship with my ex wife and when i met current wife, i felt nothing else was important, including 20 years of marriage. My current wife feels the same that as uch as she might want to bring a third party to our bed, it would ruin our marriage - questions what if i want to fuck the women she bring sin, ? what if she likes his cock such much over mine? and many more.
I think slolwy does it, introduce a fantasy partner and see her reaction, at a high point when shes excited, ask if shes wishes it were him/her and not you?

Thank you for the advice. I think slowly easing our way into it may be the best option. I think she would be more interested exploring another girl before a guy, but even that would be difficult since she does have jealousy of other women looking at me or attracted to me. Like she said today, the thought of me wanting to jump in and join in the action is too much for her to handle.

Slow and steady.

 

[Fitguy0724]

Both in our second marriage. We both cheated. I've asked her to fuck other men and women. She doesn't want that and is worried that the emotional part would kill our marriage

She thinks the same thing. Yet she has extreme jealousy over other woman looking at her man. So even though she would be open to another woman, her jealousy of other woman around me shuts that off.

 

[Fitguy0724]

I get what you are saying but take a minute to see it from her point of view. You didn't give all the details but from what you did say, she may now feel that what she did in her first marriage was wrong and may have led to the breakup. She is now with you and may feel that she wants to not repeat the same mistake she made the first time.

Worse yet, she may feel that if she does give in to your fantasy, she may not have enough self control to not let it get away from her. You may be sure of your side of the marriage but she just may not want that temptation to risk what she now holds so dear.

My recommendation? Don't pressure her by asking what you want her to do. Instead, just talk to her about the affair(s) she had in her first marriage. If you get the idea that what I suggested above is the case, let it go. She is trying to do what she thinks is best for the marriage and that can't be bad.

Thank you. Yes I agree. She loves me to death, yet she’s super jealous of other woman looking at her man never mind her man joining in and fucking another woman. That could take a long time for her to be ok with. Although she does fantasize about being with another woman.
Slow and steady wins the race. No pressure. I just do my best to show her how much I love her and care for her and her needs, wants, and desires. I want her to have everything she wants even another woman. It’s all about her and her needs not mine.

 

[Fitguy0724]

Trust her to know what she wants and doesn't want. Respect her enough to accept that decision.

Absolutely. It’s all about her and her needs. I want to give her everything she desires. I have no insecurities or jealousy. I want to fulfill all her fantasies, and do my best to make her trust and feel comfortable about doing so.

 

[Fitguy0724]

I don't think it's a situation where you should be "convincing" her. Like others have said, you have to accept where she stands now and if it's not something she wants then you should accept it. That doesn't mean that you have to stop fantasizing about it. It sounds like she's more than happy to share details of her past with you so keep working with that. Maybe over time her own desires could come to the surface as well, and you can indulge if that happens. If it doesn't, then that's her choice as well.

Thank you for the advice. It’s all about her and her desires. I’m just trying to make her feel comfortable enough to possibly pursue these fantasies.

 

[Fitguy0724]

You don't get her to agree. She needs to reach that conclusion by herself. Make her aware that you would support her decision if she would like to date another man or woman and maybe settle for having some fun with fantasy. Also, I think as women age, they are more likely to consider adding a lover. Less pressure from work, raising kids, risking pregnancy, etc. so more time and energy to consider exploring her sexuality.

Thank you for the advice. I agree you can’t “get” her to do anything. I’m just trying to make her feel comfortable enough to explore the possibility of her fantasy of being with another woman. The issue is if I were there, she has far too much jealousy of other woman looking at her man never mind having me join in. That would take a long time before she would ever agree to that.

Great advice about as we or woman age. I agree time will tell. Just exploring the possibilities of helping her fulfill her fantasies.

 

[KimGordon67]

It turns me on, the thought of my wife getting pleasured by another guy, or girl.

Just last night I asked her about an affair she had while married to her previous husband. She fucked her boss at work. She told me this years ago so I was aware of it. Last night after getting fucked by me I brought up the fact that I wanted to give her everything she desires, even another man. I asked her details about what they did together and assured her I was not upset or disgusted. I made her feel comfortable and told her it’s a turn on to have other men attracted to my wife.

She’s cheated on her ex husband many of times. She didn’t like sex with him as he has a micro cock. Since being with me she loves my huge cock, she said it what she always wanted and was looking for. Now that we are madly in love, she’s told me she not interested in other men or bringing anyone into our bed. She’s said many of times she would prefer a girl over a guy if she had to choose, even though she’s never been with a girl before but it’s a fantasy of hers.

I did everything I could to tell her I want to fulfill all her fantasies. Whether it be another girl or bringing a guy in. She was shocked I would allow another guy to fuck her. I told her it was a turn on. She went into details about what she and previous boss did when they fucked at work (he doesn’t work there anymore). She was embarrassed by what she did. I told her I thought it was a huge turn on and would be very open to bringing in another guy. She said it could ruin our nearly perfect marriage and sex life.

She told me many times how thrilling and exciting it was to be cheating. I agree as I also cheated on my ex wife. She said it was a huge rush. She also said that was in the past when she wasn’t happy. Now that she’s totally happy, we have a amazing sex life, and are madly in love, she not interested in anyone else.

I’m totally secure in our relationship. I’m not worried that she’ll leave me. I know what we have is totally special. I also know that bringing in another girl which has been a fantasy of her’s since being a little girl, would be sooo hot, she would love it. But she thinks I would want to fuck the other girl and she believes that I might like fucking the other girl more than fucking her (my wife).

I also think she would enjoy being fucked by another guy even though she won’t openly admit it.

How do I get my wife to agree to bring in either another woman or another guy into our bed? I’m sure she would love both, if she thought it wouldn’t ruin what we have now which is amazing.

Thank you for all your help.

Um ... it's actually HER that has to be sure of this. You're obviously opened up the possibility with her - if she doesn't run with that, it's entirely her decision. 'Convincing' (or nagging) her isn't going to help, unless you want her to agree purely to make you happy (or to stop your efforts to 'convince' her). Remember, consenting to any sexual act should ideally be ongoing and enthusiastic.

(Sorry, I initially wrote this before I read all the posts. My bad. I do think one has to be careful about 'nagging' partners into submission though. There's research that suggests that people often 'consent' to things just to get their partners to stop going on about it - I'm not suggesting that's what you're doing, but it's an important point to remember for all of us. There's nothing sexy about submitting to something because you feel brow beaten into it.)

 

[Fitguy0724]

Are you doing this for Her or yourself? Are you trying to fulfill your fantasy?
Talk to Her but do not push Her, if She doesn't want to do it don't force it.

Thank you for your advice. I agree it’s all about her and her wants, needs, and desires. The issue is, she’s super jealous of other woman even looking at her man. So the thought of me joining in is something that she may never get over. Only time will tell. Everything is fantastic right now, I just want to make her feel comfortable enough to have all she desires. She’s told me she would want to be with another woman without me as she considers it a form of cheating. So me being there is ok. Yet me bring there would be too much for her to handle. I guess over time she may explore the option. I just love her to death.

 

[Fitguy0724]

You don't need to talk her into it --, because if you do and it goes sideways in your relationship, then you are the one that takes all the weight and ALL the responsibility
for the consequences.

What you need to do is HAVE her---, TALK---, YOU ---, into what it is you want...
I know how this sounds but nonetheless it can be more than 80 % effective in accomplishing what you think you want.
But I will tell you now--, be careful what you wish for -- but of course you won't listen to my warning and if you try this technique and it works for you --, I guarantee you will be cursing my name.

Everything in this life is 'a give and a take' --,
In other words, what ever this technique gives,
it will take just as much.

Still think you KNOW what you want?

PM me.

Thank you for the reply. I agree. It’s all about her and her wants, desires, and fantasies. Only time will tell. As of now everything is fantastic! I just want her to have everything she ever wanted. I don’t want us to grow old and have regrets of not doing something that could’ve been amazing because of fear.

 

[Fitguy0724]

Um ... it's actually HER that has to be sure of this. You're obviously opened up the possibility with her - if she doesn't run with that, it's entirely her decision. 'Convincing' (or nagging) her isn't going to help, unless you want her to agree purely to make you happy (or to stop your efforts to 'convince' her). Remember, consenting to any sexual act should ideally be ongoing and enthusiastic.

(Sorry, I initially wrote this before I read all the posts. My bad. I do think one has to be careful about 'nagging' partners into submission though. There's research that suggests that people often 'consent' to things just to get their partners to stop going on about it - I'm not suggesting that's what you're doing, but it's an important point to remember for all of us. There's nothing sexy about submitting to something because you feel brow beaten into it.)

I absolutely agree with you. Thank you for your advice. It’s all about her and her desires and fantasies. I want her to feel comfortable enough to explore her sexual fantasies without fear or regrets. We don’t want to grow old and regret the fact that we never explored the fantasy we’ve had all our lives because of fear. Only time will tell.

 

[oneblueye]

hey ...

Thank you for the reply. I agree. It’s all about her and her wants, desires, and fantasies. Only time will tell. As of now everything is fantastic! I just want her to have everything she ever wanted. I don’t want us to grow old and have regrets of not doing something that could’ve been amazing because of fear.

By that same token on the flip side:
Don't throw away the BEST thing you ever had for FEAR of missing something that to begin with, would probably disappoint you.

 

[BBCfan]

This is something I've begun to fantasize about last year or so...to share her with a very well endowed black guy like she's had in the past.

She is monogamously minded and values that highly. I've shared my fantasy but she doesn't find it exciting. It was fun to explain it to her and discuss it.

I bought a very realistic cock sheath that makes my 7+ into a thick 9+ BBC. I've used it with her a couple times and it was super hot.

That was a fun safe way to delve into it that she was willing to experiment with.

The reality of actually playing it out might not be as exciting as the fantasy for me...so many complicated possibilities with a real person...

plus I value our relationship and respect her values so don't want to push the issue. I'm cool with expanding on the fantasy play for now. Sow the seed and see what happens.

 

[bi_cpl_with_crossdresser]

I agree

Like a lot of other people have pointed out, you will not get her to agree to something she really does not want to do.

And if she did do it just to please you it could ruin what sounds like an already good relationship, not really worth it in the long run.

 

[PleasePeesMe]

That's why I didn't push it with my wife. It could easily have been a marriage breaker.