Bob_Bytchin
Lit Class of '02
- Joined
- Apr 17, 2002
- Posts
- 41,128
The Lancecastor/Cheyenne royal feud a la Monty Python:
Lancecastor: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Cheyenne: Well, I AM queen...
Lancecastor: Oh queen, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
Cheyenne: How do you do, good lady. I am Cheyenne, Queen of the Litons. Who's thread is that?
WOMAN: Queen of the who?
Cheyenne: The Litons.
WOMAN: Who are the Litons?
Cheyenne: Well, we all are. we're all Litons and I am your queen.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a queen. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Lancecastor: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
Lancecastor: That's what it's all about if only people would--
Cheyenne: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that thread?
WOMAN: No one lives there.
Cheyenne: Then what is your clique?
WOMAN: We don't have a clique.
Cheyenne: What?
Lancecastor: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
Cheyenne: Yes.
Lancecastor: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
Cheyenne: Yes, I see.
Lancecastor: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
Cheyenne: Be quiet!
Lancecastor: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
Cheyenne: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does she think she is?
Cheyenne: I am your queen!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
Cheyenne: You don't vote for queens.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become queen then?
Cheyenne: The Lady of the Threads, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Cheyenne, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your queen!
Lancecastor: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Cheyenne: Be quiet!
Lancecastor: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Cheyenne: Shut up!
Lancecastor: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!
Cheyenne: Shut up! Will you shut up!
Lancecastor: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
Cheyenne: Shut up!
Lancecastor: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed
Lancecastor: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
Cheyenne: Well, I AM queen...
Lancecastor: Oh queen, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society! If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
Cheyenne: How do you do, good lady. I am Cheyenne, Queen of the Litons. Who's thread is that?
WOMAN: Queen of the who?
Cheyenne: The Litons.
WOMAN: Who are the Litons?
Cheyenne: Well, we all are. we're all Litons and I am your queen.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a queen. I thought we were an autonomous collective.
Lancecastor: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship. A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
Lancecastor: That's what it's all about if only people would--
Cheyenne: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives in that thread?
WOMAN: No one lives there.
Cheyenne: Then what is your clique?
WOMAN: We don't have a clique.
Cheyenne: What?
Lancecastor: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
Cheyenne: Yes.
Lancecastor: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified at a special biweekly meeting.
Cheyenne: Yes, I see.
Lancecastor: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
Cheyenne: Be quiet!
Lancecastor: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
Cheyenne: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does she think she is?
Cheyenne: I am your queen!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
Cheyenne: You don't vote for queens.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become queen then?
Cheyenne: The Lady of the Threads, [angels sing] her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I, Cheyenne, was to carry Excalibur. [singing stops] That is why I am your queen!
Lancecastor: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.
Cheyenne: Be quiet!
Lancecastor: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Cheyenne: Shut up!
Lancecastor: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd put me away!
Cheyenne: Shut up! Will you shut up!
Lancecastor: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
Cheyenne: Shut up!
Lancecastor: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system! HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed
Last edited:
