HELP! An Intervention

[Trace_Element]

Yes, a LIT-ervention!
VA Gal is in a bad bad way, and we, yes only we, can help her…see, although she has made reference to it at certain points in her Lit life, no one here has fully understood the deep addiction, the very NEED she has…for horrible jokes…
She wants them…she needs them…she may not be able to face another day without an utter inundation of help from us, her Lit family…
Please, don’t just leave links to horrible jokes, or to joke pages…she needs the real deal…real jokes…really bad ones…ones that make the normal person roll their eyes…that make them walk away unable to even feign mild amusement…downright HORRIBLE jokes…
So post’em here, folks…let us all help our dear friend VAG smile again…chuckle even…yea possibly chortle and snort…
Show her some love!
I’ll start, but I can’t do it all myself…I’m that good, but just under tremendous time pressures…
You can probably feel free to PM some to her as well...I know she would appreciate the support...

Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where you left him!

 

[Trace_Element]

What's red, and shaped like a bucket?


A red bucket.

 

[Trace_Element]

What kind of rocks are at the bottom of Lake Erie?





Wet ones...

 

[Trace_Element]

Feel free to post re-runs...sometimes recycling an old laugh can make all the difference to those with such a horrible addiction...

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor?


"Where the fuck is my tractor?"

 

[Peregrinator]

What's brown and sticky?


A stick.

 

[Freija]

"I've got nothing against disabled people, I've even got one of their stickers on my car"

 

[Peregrinator]

How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?


One.

 

[Farrah]

This is NOT funny! Not right. Inhumane!

I am so far from amused right now.

You. are in. so much. trouble. So much. You really have no idea. For your sake, as much as for my own sanity, I hope no one responds to your request here.

I will get you for this. Somehow, someway. When you least expect it.

Oh yes, revenge will be MINE!

 

[Peregrinator]

How many bluegrass musicians does t take to change a light bulb?


Five. One to do it, and four to sit around and bitch because it's electric.

 

[Farrah]

Oh FFS...they're already responding.

What did I ever do to you people?

 

[Trace_Element]

What does Mozart do now that he's dead?



Decompose.

 

[Trace_Element]

Oh FFS...they're already responding.

What did I ever do to you people?

Feel the love...just revel in it...we're here for you, VAG!!

 

[unregistered]

 

[Freija]

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?


None, they just steal somebody else's spotlight!

 

[Trace_Element]

What's the last thing that goes through a bug's mind when it hits your windshield?



Its ass...

 

[Trace_Element]

a daddy tomato a mama tomato and a baby tomato were out walking..... baby tomato falls behind.... daddy tomato walks back and squishes him and says
....hey! ketchup.







fox force 5

Fucker!! That was next...

 

[Peregrinator]

Why should you stay out of the jungle at night?


That's when elephants jump out of trees.

 

[Trace_Element]

I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.'

 

[Peregrinator]

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros?


Hell if I know.

 

[Peregrinator]

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?



Because he was dead.

 

[Peregrinator]

Why don't cannibals eat clowns?


They taste funny.

 

[Trace_Element]

What do people in China call their good plates?

 

[Peregrinator]

How does the VaG know which way to put on her undies?


Yellow in front, brown in back.

 

[Trace_Element]

HEY!!
VAG Says she would much more enjoy these luscious tidbits if they also found their way to her PM box as well, so she can have them at her beck and call all the day long...
Post'em, PM'em...let's help the lady out!!

 

[Peregrinator]

Why kind of corn grows in trees?


Acorn.