Heartbreak...

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

last year on my birthday the Murphy's Law calendar said "You can never run out of things to go wrong." ain't that the truth.

OH DEAR DAN!!! I know it may seem like that at times, but a good friend of mine always said you can't have a bad day as long as you wake up in the morning. Granted, some days are better than others. Carpe Diem my friend. Its waiting for you.


-kym- seizing my luggage and heading for the airport!

 

[hockeymandan]

wherever you're going, have yourself a good time. party it up for me, and the rest of us hurting souls out there.

 

[~*sunkyssed_kym*~]

Dan;
I'm off to England to visit MY-Sir after 5 long months of lonely days and nights. HE and I met on the net over a year ago and finally came to last Feb. I was with HIM for a month. It was incredible! We had hit if off over the net and phone, but once we were able to actually see,feel,touch,and taste one another; the feelings deepened. It nearly broke my heart when I had to leave HIM and return home in March. HE crossed the Atalntic in April and stayed with me until mid May. Again, my heart was ripped out as I left HIM at the airport to return home to a silent house. It hasn't been an easy wait, and God knows I'm not the most patient person, but now I am flying over to be with HIM once again. I will only be able to stay for around 3 weeks as my job won't allow any more time away.
Is it going to hurt deeply when I leave HIM? YOU BET! But, all of the hurt will be worth the opportunity to be held by HIM and feel HIS mouth on my body. In this case, no pain no gain seems to be the case. Maybe one fine day HE and I will be able to live on the same side of the Atlantic and no longer ride the emotional rollercoaster.
Alrighty then! Its 5 hours until that silver bird takes to the "friendly skies" and I need to finish up with a few things. Take care Dan, I hope that you can work thru this and move on. Listen to the good folks here. They really do know what they are talking about and...........they will be there to help you along. I expect for you to be in much better spirits when I am able to get online next week. OK???
Take care to all of you Merry Litsters while I am gone, and I'll see you in a week or so! Behave while I'm gone!!


-kym- HI HO HI HO; ITS OFF TO ENGLAND AND MY-SIR I GO!!!

 

[Bandit58]

Kym - how well I know that breaking heart feeling I met my love 5 months ago online.....we have spent only a few days together in that time. We only live 5 hours drive apart though....what it must be like for you with a whole ocean between you two I can't imagine, but my man is married so we can't be together yet.

We spent 5 wonderful days together that first time.....and that last day was so poignant, I had gotten a tattoo that day which means "life transformation" and we had made sweet gentle love afterwards. He told me later that the hardest thing he has ever done was to walk out of that room and leave me, he had to stop his car and he cried. I felt my own heart breaking as he left because we didn't know when we would be able to be together again.....but we have spent a few hours together one day and another 5 days just 3 weeks ago. Each time we leave each other it hurts so much. He is working on separating from his wife and I left my husband 6 months ago (before I met him). We hold on to the thought that one day we will be together for the rest of our lives

 

[BrenVarouse]

firstly... Mr. GGG, nothing I can say would be adequate. Condolences.

Now, for my heartbroken friend...

Three months ago my first and only gf broke up with me. We were together for four years and lived together for three. I thought she was the one, the love of my life. I had never even imagined life without her. We shared everything, and were always together. We had an amazing and unigue relationship.

I miss her everyday. And I'm still in love with her. It's a lot easier now, but there are nights when I still lie in bed and sob myself to sleep.

I think it helps to find things that are new, things that don't have any connection to happy memories that bring up sad feelings. I took up golf. I go up to the driving range two or three times a week to get her out of my head. It's really easy to dwell on all the unanswered questions, the pain.

It would be a lot easier to just forget it and move on, but I don't believe in that. She'll always be there, living in your mind as you remember her. You just have to learn to live with her in your mind. Like what John Nash had to do.

I've found it very therapuetic to talk about this here on lit. It's like speaking to a counsellor with many voices.

Last night I went with a friend to see the movie Signs. In it I found a profound message that may help you gain some insight on how to deal with this...

The world is divided into two kinds of people. When something happens to the first group, they see it as a miracle, a sign. Affirmation that everything that happens in your life happens for a reason.

When something happens to the second group they see it as dumb luck or coincidence. A random anomaly.

What kind of person are you?

 

[hockeymandan]

I'm the first kind, but although it does provide some comfort, it doesn't take the pain away. I wish it did. I wish SOMEthing would. I know that everything happens for a reason, believe me. My life's been WAY to fucked up for there not to be a reason for things. I would have gone insane quite a while back if i didn't believe that. But its hard to see the reason right now...

 

[BrenVarouse]

It is hard. I know. And it seems like there will never be an end to the pain. You will never find someone else who you will love. Who will love you. That you aren't good enough. That it would be easier just to die than to feel this way. That it's too risky to even dare to be with someone else and take the chance of having this happen again.

I know all of this. I live all of this. I am in a constant state of melancholy. Except when the pain is so strong I can't help but cry. If emotion were a scale of one to ten, one being the worst you could ever feel and ten being the best. The last three months have mostly been a 3.5 or four with the occasional jump to five or six. In comparison I used to be a constant 8 with frequent jumps to 9 or 10.

Don't hide from the pain, I've had enough terrible shit happen to me in my life to teach me that much. Be honest with your emotions, when your sad be sad, and when your happy (as unbelievable as that may seem) be happy. Don't drink too much. I started drinking heavily after the break up, it only made things worse.

I wish I could say everything will be fine, but I can't because I don't know yet. I'm still working through it too.

They call it a broken heart for a reason. I've gone through some serious emotional fucking in my life and this out does everything be about a thousand times. Love does conquer all, but not always in a good way. Love is a magical thing that in the same breath build you into a god or cast you into the depths of hell.

I don't know what your religous beliefs are and I'm not (I stress NOT) trying to push anything on you, but try reading "the Power of Kabbalah" by Rav. P. Berg. It helped me gain some insight on the meaning of life and gave me a strategy that helped deal with the pain. As you've probably guessed I'm also a member of the first group of people.

Remember that you can't change the past. And shouldn't even if you could. Sometimes it's nice to live in the past, but don't dwell there. Live in the now, no matter how painful it is and don't spend to much time fantasizing about the future. John Lennon said it best "life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans."

Pm me if you wish to carry on this conversation.

 

[Bandit58]

Bumping this thread.......cos I need some help too.....