having a problem

[djohns]

i am dating a new girl i love her so much, but there seems to be a little problem that i never had before. We start Making out and eveything is fine and i get hard and stick it in and eveything. And as soon as we start having sex my dick just goes flat, I was with my exs for 2 yrs and ther other for 7 i have never had this problem. Can anyone give me some advice or tell me what is happening and for what reason? Should i start taking some kinda pill so it stays up or what let me know thanks

 

[SweetErika]

Ask yourself what you might be afraid of. Are you using a good birth control method and condoms? Has she already had at least one good orgasm before you come? Might you be afraid of coming too soon, or not being able to come in a reasonable amount of time?

How long have you been in this relationship? Is it possible you've become sexually involved too soon?

How much do you masturbate?

Are you so aroused that you feel like you can't wait another minute when you get to sex? What are you doing for your arousal before you get to sex?

If you don't have a problem getting it up for masturbation and foreplay, you're unlikely to need any kind of medication/pill because the difference indicates a psychological, rather than a physical, problem. Don't do something stupid like buy ED pills off the internet; you're not only likely to lose money, you never know what you're really getting and it could be harmful.

The worst thing you can do is think about/stress over it. Assure yourself you're not going to have trouble for a long time, because you'll likely have no trouble once you find the underlying issue and stop worrying about it.

 

[djohns]

I used to beat off everyday but since i stated dating her i stopped, I still have sex with my ex and she is not divoced yet so i think sometimes its that i have no problem staying hard or getting hard intill it goes in her. Yes i do cum very fast i dont understand that either and i do worry about that as well is there ways to forget about this stuff and make it stay hard or not cum so fast, ALso i was talking about Getting Virgria(sp) or something

 

[littlebitshe]

Maybe, you feel guilty because you are cheating on her and that makes you go limp. Or maybe you are worried about her finding out. If that's the case, I can't say that I don't think that you deserve a limp dick.

 

[SweetErika]

I still have sex with my ex and she is not divoced yet so i think sometimes its that i have no problem staying hard or getting hard intill it goes in her.

So, you're having sex with your ex, who is still married, and cheating (presumably; perhaps the ex and the new gf know about each other, but you could still feel bad about having sex with a married woman) on this new girlfriend with that married ex?

On just that alone, you're surprised you're having trouble keeping it up for sex?

You're also worried about coming too quickly, which can make it difficult to get it up at all for some guys. Subconsciously, you might think that if you don't perform at all, you won't have to deal with the feelings of failure that can be associated with coming too fast.

Rest assured, the average time for actual penetration and thrusting is only 2-5 minutes. If you're satisfying your partner before and/or after penetration, she's probably not going to care how long you last (unless it's too long). If you're relying on penile penetration for most of her pleasure, you're likely going to be doomed to a lack of real orgasms and overall pleasure on her part, and you'll need to work on developing other skills, such as oral, manual, mental, total body stimulation and proficiency in using toys.

With all due respect and honesty, it sounds like you need some good therapy and time to sort yourself and your situation out way more than anything else right now. Why are you putting yourself in a situation that could cause so much drama in your life? Why are you having sex with an ex who's going through a major life change, or cheating, if you clearly have a problem with it on some level? Why are you with your ex when you're trying to establish a new relationship with someone you claim to care about?

Drugs like Viagra are for men who have problems getting and/or maintaining an erection due to physical issues, such as cardiovascular problems, age, diabetes, high blood pressure and the side effects of medications. If you think you have physical problems like those, you should definitely talk to your doctor about how they might be affecting your erections.

However, it sounds to me like your problems are psychological/emotional because you've put yourself in a stressful situation; any responsible doctor will refer you to therapy, rather than prescribe medication, for that. Just like you can't expect a bandaid to help a broken bone, there is no quick fix, like pills, for big underlying issues when it comes to sexual problems, like it sounds like you have, given your situation with the married ex and new gf and worrying about not lasting long enough.

Best of luck to you in working everything out.