Have you stopped caring if your fetishes get exposed to family and friends?

[CurtGiles46]

After I turned 30, I stopped worrying so much about whether my fetishes accidentally got exposed to my family and friends.

One night, I admitted to my younger brother that I like dominant women, forced bi, and that I’ve crossdressed.

I think my mother knew this too before she passed away because sometimes she would verbally domme me by asking if I was pregnant and who was the father....

I feel like life is too short to have daily anxiety worrying about who knows what sexual pleasures you enjoy.

 

[2tallpaul]

My lady took me to a swingers party, a regular group meeting about once a month. It was a surprise to me and she exposed any fetish I had. The embarrassment was short as we all had a sexual resume within our play. Knowing I liked to bottom was a big hit and for the most part, a great revelation. Showing up to a surprise party, fully femmed in a sun dress let the cat out of the bag immediately. So much for a quiet night and a threesome.

 

[Tayloroc]

Oh my. How wonderful

 

[Katch123]

After I turned 30, I stopped worrying so much about whether my fetishes accidentally got exposed to my family and friends.

One night, I admitted to my younger brother that I like dominant women, forced bi, and that I’ve crossdressed.

I think my mother knew this too before she passed away because sometimes she would verbally domme me by asking if I was pregnant and who was the father....

I feel like life is too short to have daily anxiety worrying about who knows what sexual pleasures you enjoy.

There's no point once it's out. You'll either get acceptance or not.

 

[GessoOfJess]

The older you get, the less you care. We don't try and hide it anymore, but we may not volunteer it.

 

[Bigboobbabe]

Interesting question. My ex came out to his family and closest friends a few years ago. He (approved pronoun for my use) bounces between transgender and non-binary. Currently on Estrogen. I asked recently if he has identified at work. He told me he had hoped the body changes would have taken care of that for him.

When our intimate relationship was finished, I suggested we save our 35 yr marriage as non-sexual soul mates, and I would want to open into an ethically monogamous lifestyle.

I have not rubbed my dating into my family's face, but if anyone was to see me out with different men on different days, I wouldn't mind. And if anyone had a problem with me dating men younger than my adult daughter, that's their problem.

 

[chrisatb5]

Interesting question. My ex came out to his family and closest friends a few years ago. He (approved pronoun for my use) bounces between transgender and non-binary. Currently on Estrogen. I asked recently if he has identified at work. He told me he had hoped the body changes would have taken care of that for him.

When our intimate relationship was finished, I suggested we save our 35 yr marriage as non-sexual soul mates, and I would want to open into an ethically monogamous lifestyle.

I have not rubbed my dating into my family's face, but if anyone was to see me out with different men on different days, I wouldn't mind. And if anyone had a problem with me dating men younger than my adult daughter, that's their problem.

Happy to hear that people can work these things out

 

[KinkStevens]

Im much much closer to not giving af then just say 5 yrs ago. Ive become bolder. I still keep it to myself because its no one else’s business, but if I do get discovered, f’em

 

[ChuckWolf]

My kinks are pretty tame, but I still wouldn't want family or friends to know about them.

On a side note, in some of my upcoming stories, there's an ongoing theme of the protagonist having his kinks revealed to friends & coworkers through a variety of avenues (computer accident, mischievous girlfriend, mind control/hypnotism or taunting djinni) to their delight and the protagonist's great humiliation).

 

[Erosfan]

I think I would still care if it was general knowledge in the community. I don’t think I’d mind if my wife told my adult daughters, though I’m sure they don’t want to know. I think it would be hot knowing my wife had told some friends that I like being pegged and spanked, and to deepthroat dildos.

Nobody among my friends talks about their sex lives, so I can’t help thinking I’m not the only one of us with kinks. But who and what?

My wife told our adult daughter and an aunt about my kinks.

 

[Erosfan]

How did that go? Have they discussed them with you, or you just know they know? What prompted her to tell them and how do you feel about it?

Our daughter said "OH mom, that is so normal." I'm not sure about the aunt. My main thing is CFNM (exhibitionism). I don't know know why she told them. She did suggest she could get her aunt to play with us in my desire to be naked for my wife and a friend or two of hers. Her aunt was quite the talker, so we decided to not go there. Maybe so she could push me a little. She liked to push my buttons and I loved it.

 

[Goldenfinger]

There are many that know me and my wife’s kinks.

 

[LizVegas79]

As I'm get older I'm less and less inhibited. However, I don't have to be an open book to everyone. I might like attention, but I don't NEED attention (I don't think lol)

Having at least some privacy and a few secrets is sexy AF imho.

 

[LizVegas79]

There are secrets that should not be reveal to a certain group of people you know because it would make them change perception toward you. Like, do friends from church really want to know about my orgy at the backdoor of the adult bookstore?

Hi Birdy - since I don't go to your church and you don't go to mine, umm, so personally I would love to know a little more about that bookstore story

 

[Goldenfinger]

There are secrets that should not be reveal to a certain group of people you know because it would make them change perception toward you. Like, do friends from church really want to know about my orgy at the backdoor of the adult bookstore?

Im sure more people know(people love to talk) than I think. But it is selective who the information gets talked about with. There are some who you just would not confide that information with.

 

[policywank]

I've never really felt the need to expose my kinks or non-monogamous behaviour, but I have certainly come to the point of not caring if people find out. I have found that people don't care as much as I might have thought they would. And if they do want to be judgmental or gossipy the best way to deal with that is to just own it.

 

[policywank]

Now there’s an idea! It would be great to feel I could express myself as freely IRL as I do on Lit. I can see me telling the church guys I’ve known well for 30 years “Yeah, she fucks my ass, and the feeling is incredible! Y’all should try it and see.”

Of course for all I know they are kinkier than I am, and there is a dungeon behind that door off the basement stairs.

Well I think it is a near certainty that most of the people who are kinkier than we imagine are inclined to be discrete about it. For any given group of people at least a few are freakier than we know.

 

[BackwoodsMama]

Well I think it is a near certainty that most of the people who are kinkier than we imagine are inclined to be discrete about it. For any given group of people at least a few are freakier than we know.

I whole heartedly agree.

My experience is that folks are up to all sorts of things behind closed doors, which is fine, but I think there is something to be said about liberating society from the confines that have been imposed on them. Sex and sexuality are normal parts of our human makeup, yet they have been positioned as dirty and wrong and bad. The duality is not helpful.

Now, does the pendulum have to swing all the way to the other side and make it normal and acceptable for everyone to say all of what they are doing? Probably not. I for one love knowing I have kinky little secrets that would shock some of my family. But I do wish there was more space for folks to feel normal and accepted.

 

[policywank]

I whole heartedly agree.

My experience is that folks are up to all sorts of things behind closed doors, which is fine, but I think there is something to be said about liberating society from the confines that have been imposed on them. Sex and sexuality are normal parts of our human makeup, yet they have been positioned as dirty and wrong and bad. The duality is not helpful.

Now, does the pendulum have to swing all the way to the other side and make it normal and acceptable for everyone to say all of what they are doing? Probably not. I for one love knowing I have kinky little secrets that would shock some of my family. But I do wish there was more space for folks to feel normal and accepted.

Agreed. The thing about a concept like "normal" is that it doesn't actually reflect the way most people are. It reflects concepts that a relatively small number of voices seek to impose upon us.

I have a picture in my head of people sitting in church while the preacher rails against the evils of deviant sexual behaviour. Meanwhile half of the people in the audience are wearing a cock ring or have a butt plug up their ass or are guys wearing women's panties, etc. Each of them is thinking that they are the only kinky person in the room as the preacher tries to convince them that they aberration.

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

Well I think it is a near certainty that most of the people who are kinkier than we imagine are inclined to be discrete about it. For any given group of people at least a few are freakier than we know.

Very true. Using myself as an example -- my friends and relatives woud be absolutely shocked if they ever learned of my kinky interests and proclivities. I would think (and hope) there's a sizable minority of kinky people in the general population.

 

[canopy]

I only have two people as family. I really don't care if my mom finds out. She knows all anyway. Some she doesn't approve of but luvs me anyway. But I'm terrified to even think about my husband finding about my fetishes. With friends, I'm not scared out of my skin but I don't want them to know either cause I know they won't approve. Being a social animal, I need friends lol

 

[kinkyyjulia]

I used to hide it from my parents but could not keep it hidden for long. Apart from that I have not really cared much about hiding it from anyone else.

 

[ZfrkS62]

I already know my mom is sex negative. She put it in my head early that "promiscuous" girls were dangerous and I should stay away from them; women didn't like sex anyway; sex would always lead to babies, etc. The lectures I got whenever she'd find my porn stashes

It's one reason I didn't even see a real pair of boobs until about a month before graduation, and didn't lose my virginity until 19.

I found out my dad was cross dressing some time around the start of high school, maybe a little before. It'd be another few years before she revealed that she knew about it and how disgusting she thought it was.

Might be hilarious to see her face if she found out about the things I want to try, but I'm not in a hurry to open that can of worms.

One of my aunt's knows a few things and is very supportive. I don't think it would affect my friends at all. I wouldn't be shocked if 2 of them were on here actually.

 

[storypost603]

I know that no one but my wife knows my kinks. I filled her in on all of them about 4 month ago. When i say all of them i mean alll of them. I know she knew most but me coming out the bedroom dressed in a bra, panties, skirt, and thigh high boots with stockings was not what she was expecting. She is very supportive since I filled her in. I even let her read all the stories i have written over time. I even showed her the two published on a gay site. I am trying to write some for this site as I love it here.

 

[storypost603]

Good for you both! Has anything changed in how you interact? Any role playing?

Well she did pegg me one time since then since I told her i was interested in it. Yes i was crossdressed and it was everything I hoped it would be. Now to get her to do it more often.