Have you ever wanted to dope slap a family member?

[SeaCat]

Have you ever wanted to dope slap a family member to just wake them the hell up?

My parents were down. As we were driving through certain parts of West Palm Beach my father made several comments which brought it home once again just how bigoted he is. (Thankfully he didn't make these types of comments in front of my friends kids.) Here is a man who is widely traveled, highly educated, and has on more than one occasion risked his life in the defense of others who were not neccasarily of his race or religeon. Even with all of this he just can't or doesn't want to break the old way of thinking he was raised with.

I have never been so close to slapping him along side the head with a 2x4 to wake his ass up. (My wife sensing what I was about to do stepped in before I rattled my fathers cage. He later appologised but still.)

Cat

 

[minsue]

Yup and I verbally do so regularly. I've so far managed to keep it verbal....

 

[Guest]

Far too often. Perhaps it's why I don't hear from them much anymore. On the otherhand I don't hear from anyone anymore. Maybe it's just me.

 

[Huckleman2000]

Unfortunately, it's usually family that makes one mad enough to do that. The realization that you're actually sharing the same lane in the gene pool is just too much to process.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Oddly, not so much my relatives, but the people my relatives are married to and their families. I don't know what it is with the people in my family hooking up with a bunch of ignorant fucktards, but I wish they'd get a clue.

At the moment, my cousin is married to this loud-mouthed dumbass. He comes from a family of these sort of knuckleheads. At their wedding, his dad told me I had a nice rack.

I try to avoid him at any cost, but it's impossible because I don't want to shun my cousin. Mostly, I'm scared if I invite them over that my boyfriend will knock him out. One of these days, I might just let him.

 

[cantdog]

Cat, if we have any hope of making racism die, it's in the children. The message to our grandkids and our kids has to be clear that it's not okay to say that shit, and not very pretty to think it. Grandpa or no. You may tolerate it, barely, but if it goes on in front of kids, you have to rein it in. The way to do it is to confront him then.

"I can't change the way you think, but I won't have it in front of the kids."

Mean it. Grandpa or Uncle Drew do not get to visit, the gandkids or nieces will not come to see them, if that kind of racist remark is going to be made. The man has a right to his own mind on things. But he'll have to make a choice. If he chooses to see the kids, he has to lay off.

By and large, the younger generation is much better about this stuff than mine was, and mine is better than my own parents' generation was. Racism is being fostered by the current regime in America. We are supposed to hate; it is being done to "support" the war effort. So we are in danger of raising a new generation of bigoted assholes, if we let them believe this shit will fly.

 

[Huckleman2000]

... At their wedding, his dad told me I had a nice rack.

His dad's got good taste, at least. [Sorry. Obviously, taste /= class, and I'm shameless when I see a set-up for a wise-crack]

By and large, the younger generation is much better about this stuff than mine was, and mine is better than my own parents' generation was.

This is soo true. My son is 20; when he was in high school, he was telling me about a friend of his that had ADD and took medication. I said something like "that's too bad - do the kids make fun of him?" and he looked at me like I was from Saturn. "Dad. That's not cool. You don't make fun of someone for what they were born with."

 

[BlackShanglan]

I've seen it from both sides. Elements of my ethnicity are not immediately obvious from my appearance; I have, thus, had the joy of having someone make breathtakingly racist comments directly to my face without recognizing that I was one of the persons so maligned. In a way, it's quite useful. If he'd realized that I was a member of the group he was insulting, I might never have had the chance to identify him as an unashamed racist.

On the other hand, it's hard to know how to respond. In that particular case, I said nothing; I salved the sting with a certain amusement at his utter unconsciousness of my nature. On the other hand, when my sibling's new spouse voiced the opinion that Tiger Woods should "go back to wherever he came from" and let other (presumably whiter) athletes "have a chance," I was really so stunned that I didn't know what to say. It had never occurred to me that my sibling would marry a person of such views - although, to be fair, it was my sibling who responded with "Go back where? California?" I have to admit that I've never looked at this person the same way again. I used to find the arch-conservatism rather cute, a sort of attempt to endear with the older generation. Now it just looks creepy to me.

There is hope, however. I recall seeing an ex's younger sister - only ten at the time - correct her mother for using an offensive racial epithet. I believe she said, "That's not a nice word, Mama. Nice people don't use that word." I was immensely cheered. Good lass.

Shanglan

 

[Huckleman2000]

I've seen it from both sides. Elements of my ethnicity are not immediately obvious from my appearance; I have, thus, had the joy of having someone make breathtakingly racist comments directly to my face without recognizing that I was one of the persons so maligned...
Shanglan

Ahh, part Arabian, eh?
We can't all be Thoroughbreds...

 

[BlackShanglan]

Ahh, part Arabian, eh?
We can't all be Thoroughbreds...

Such a dangerous concept at heart ... smacks of "racial purity" if you ask me.

 

[cloudy]

I've seen it from both sides. Elements of my ethnicity are not immediately obvious from my appearance; I have, thus, had the joy of having someone make breathtakingly racist comments directly to my face without recognizing that I was one of the persons so maligned. In a way, it's quite useful. If he'd realized that I was a member of the group he was insulting, I might never have had the chance to identify him as an unashamed racist.

OOOH! Me too!

I don't "look indian" (whatever that means), and you can't look at me and tell that my daughter's dad is black (obviously), so I've heard some doosies.

It's always fun, though, to see the look on their faces when I enlighten them.

 

[fieryjen]

My grandmother is a really hateful old lady. She votes for the party that she knows will piss my dad off, she complains about the culturally diverse crowd I hang out with, and the fact that I refuse to be a housewife once I get married is "unexcusable". We wouldn't mind her so much, if it wasn't for the fact that she lives in my family's house (she has her own floor) and that she constantly tries to make everyone as miserable as she is.

I feel bad even typing that I really dislike my grandma, but she makes it kind of hard not to.

 

[Huckleman2000]

Such a dangerous concept at heart ... smacks of "racial purity" if you ask me.

Well, horse racing is the sport of kings...

And drag racing is the sport of queens.

Thank you! I'll be here all week!

 

[SeaCat]

I've seen it from both sides. Elements of my ethnicity are not immediately obvious from my appearance; I have, thus, had the joy of having someone make breathtakingly racist comments directly to my face without recognizing that I was one of the persons so maligned. In a way, it's quite useful. If he'd realized that I was a member of the group he was insulting, I might never have had the chance to identify him as an unashamed racist.

On the other hand, it's hard to know how to respond. In that particular case, I said nothing; I salved the sting with a certain amusement at his utter unconsciousness of my nature. On the other hand, when my sibling's new spouse voiced the opinion that Tiger Woods should "go back to wherever he came from" and let other (presumably whiter) athletes "have a chance," I was really so stunned that I didn't know what to say. It had never occurred to me that my sibling would marry a person of such views - although, to be fair, it was my sibling who responded with "Go back where? California?" I have to admit that I've never looked at this person the same way again. I used to find the arch-conservatism rather cute, a sort of attempt to endear with the older generation. Now it just looks creepy to me.

There is hope, however. I recall seeing an ex's younger sister - only ten at the time - correct her mother for using an offensive racial epithet. I believe she said, "That's not a nice word, Mama. Nice people don't use that word." I was immensely cheered. Good lass.

Shanglan

The young lady who's kids my wife and I were taking care of is from Puerto Rico, my father didn't know that. Nor did he understand just how close friends we are to her. (Although he should have surmised that from the fact we were taking care of her kids.) He did notice that he kids were healthily tanned, but didn't bother to mention it.

I must mention for the record that he did appologise, and he was in the act of backing down when my wife stepped in. (His backing down might have had something to do with the fact that I was growling and my eyes had changed color. Two very bad signs. ) My father isn't stupid, he is just a product of his times.

Cat

 

[SeaCat]

OOOH! Me too!

I don't "look indian" (whatever that means), and you can't look at me and tell that my daughter's dad is black (obviously), so I've heard some doosies.

It's always fun, though, to see the look on their faces when I enlighten them.

I don't look like the absolute barbarian I am. Nor do I look the type to leave tooth marks. We do have fun don't we?

Cat

 

[Guest]

I've had the same problem lately with my family. Posted a similar thread awhile back.

Isn't it awful to realize your family has become a group of people whom you are ashamed to be around?

We made the same call with our family awhile back. "If you use that language around our children, we will not visit you. We will not expose them to those hateful words."

My parents are intelligent, college-educated, well-traveled, and stubborn as hell. But they stopped the racist slang terms. They love their grandkids.

My sister and her hubby, on the other hand - - -

 

[Guest]

I don't look like the absolute barbarian I am. Nor do I look the type to leave tooth marks. We do have fun don't we?

Cat

I love tooth marks.

And you and your delightful wife sound just like the type of people it would be so fun to party with.

 

[SeaCat]

I love tooth marks.

And you and your delightful wife sound just like the type of people it would be so fun to party with.

My wife and I are interesting. We have our own views on a lot of things. (Much to many peoples disgust I am sure. I have been likened to a creepy crawly upon more than one occasion. ) We do try to have fun though. Hmmmmmm, I must remember to buy more beer and Tequila before the hurricane hits.

Unfortunately I can't use the threat of not seeing the grandkids with my parents. My brother and sister who have kids are even more rascist than my father. (Could be why I don't talk with them?) and my wife and I don't have kids. (By choice, any kids I father woudn't need night lights. )

Ahhhhh well, my wife and I still break our furniture on a regular basis.

Cat

 

[yui]

Ahhhhh well, my wife and I still break our furniture on a regular basis.

Cat

Don't break the futon!

Yet!

 

[SeaCat]

Don't break the futon!

Yet!

That's about the only thing we haven't broken.

Damn my mind just went even further into the gutter. (If that was possible, which I suppose it was because it did.) Hmmmmmmm, must finish these stories because I now have another from a wonderful mental picture.

Cat

 

[LadyTigeress]

Let's just face it, there are some days when you realize that someone's pissed in the gene pool.

LT

 

[SeaCat]

Let's just face it, there are some days when you realize that someone's pissed in the gene pool.

LT

Um well, considering he is my father I won't touch that comment.

Cat

 

[shereads]

Oh, yeah. The next question is, "Have you ever feared you wouldn't be able to stop?"





Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.

--Mordecai Siegal

 

[rgraham666]

I gotta say I am not horribly fond of my old man.

Part of it is personal, he made my life hell growing up.

The other is his racism. He's the only person I know who will watch the news in order to feed his anger addiction. Afterwards, everyone will be treated to a rant frequently interspersed with "Those fucking Jews, Goddamn French."

Very sad.

 

[Guest]

Oh, yeah. The next question is, "Have you ever feared you wouldn't be able to stop?"





Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.

--Mordecai Siegal

yes.

my step father is a loud mouth. he isnt really a bigot or intentionally mean...hes just, well, i think he defies description, really.
grabbing crotch and shifting gears is the least of it...
simply because he will tell people the truth, no matter what and in the loudest possible way, makes me cringe. (sometimes diplomacy is needed, yannow?)
sadly, because he has parkinsons, i can use this as his excuse.