has this ever happened to any subs before

[cittykat22]

last night my new Dom and I decided on r safe word...
as the night went on he really went to far and he was hurting me to the point where i believe i have bruised ribs or broken ones...
Anyway i said the safe word more like yelled it...and he grabbed my hair yanked my head bac and said "there is no safe word with me baby" and he continued tell he made me jerk him off till he came onto my wounds and it hurt like hell after ward he made lay on the floor for almost an hour as he laughed at me spit on me and hurt me even more untill he cut my binds and finally left.
Has this ever happened to anyone before?

 

[Lady_Fiona]

last night my new Dom and I decided on r safe word...
as the night went on he really went to far and he was hurting me to the point where i believe i have bruised ribs or broken ones...
Anyway i said the safe word more like yelled it...and he grabbed my hair yanked my head bac and said "there is no safe word with me baby" and he continued tell he made me jerk him off till he came onto my wounds and it hurt like hell after ward he made lay on the floor for almost an hour as he laughed at me spit on me and hurt me even more untill he cut my binds and finally left.
Has this ever happened to anyone before?

Yes. Walk away NOW.

Any Dom should respect a safeword. Now thats not to say there isnt times when he doesn't snap, that does happen but its rare and in my own experience, he spends a LOT of time making up for it immediately afterwards.

What you experienced, is nothing short of abuse. He has done it once, he WILL do it again. This is not a Dom that respects his sub, this is an abuser that hides behind the label of Dom.

Been there, got trapped there for 6 years. Shut the door on him and turn your back, you deserve better. You are a sub, not someone to be physically and mentally abused, treated like a lower form of life.

 

[Chiara_searches]

last night my new Dom and I decided on r safe word...
as the night went on he really went to far and he was hurting me to the point where i believe i have bruised ribs or broken ones...
Anyway i said the safe word more like yelled it...and he grabbed my hair yanked my head bac and said "there is no safe word with me baby" and he continued tell he made me jerk him off till he came onto my wounds and it hurt like hell after ward he made lay on the floor for almost an hour as he laughed at me spit on me and hurt me even more untill he cut my binds and finally left.
Has this ever happened to anyone before?

That has never happened to me. But it is very concerning to me that your safe word wasn't respected. You have the first and foremost responsibility to look out for your own safety. Please think long and hard before being with this "new dom" again. If he can't honor your safe word, he isn't worthy of your submission.

There are much more experienced and smarter people here who I hope will articulate why what he did was just very wrong. Even if a part of you enjoyed being pushed that far, it still is very worrisome that he did not respect your safe word. Proceed with caution.

ETA: I think Lady Fiona's advice to simply get away and stay away is much better than my "proceed with caution" comment. I agree with LF: just leave this abuser behind you and move on.

 

[neci]

last night my new Dom and I decided on r safe word...
as the night went on he really went to far and he was hurting me to the point where i believe i have bruised ribs or broken ones...
Anyway i said the safe word more like yelled it...and he grabbed my hair yanked my head bac and said "there is no safe word with me baby" and he continued tell he made me jerk him off till he came onto my wounds and it hurt like hell after ward he made lay on the floor for almost an hour as he laughed at me spit on me and hurt me even more untill he cut my binds and finally left.
Has this ever happened to anyone before?

if you think you have broken ribs, get to the doctor. i am so sorry you were hurt like that. please take care of yourself. there are some very good people in this forum, who have a lot of collective experience. opening up the full sexual force of a sadist can be very dangerous. some people cross a line and can not or will not pull themselves back. if you go back, it will happen again.

 

[Stella_Omega]

That's not a dom, that's a criminal assailant exactly like the one that made the news in Seattle.

If you have any sort of support around you, you might want to go to the cops and file against him.

Semen in an open wound is unsafe sex, as well. You need to go to a hospital.

Please go to munches in your area. Start meeting your community. Play with people who are known, while you get your legs under you.

 

[cittykat22]

Thank you for the advice i am gettin my number changed today!!!...it is very scary situation and luckly my girlfriend, we have decided on an open relationship as we r both bi and its what we want, has taken the day off to help me and mend my wounds. And i only have bruised ribs thank god!!

 

[kimuk]

My god! you have to get out of this and never go back . Thats abuse not BDSM!.......look after yourself . Becuase he's not going to. Be careful. There was no consent to what happened between you. Dont put yourself in danger.

 

[Stella_Omega]

My god! you have to get out of this and never go back . Thats abuse not BDSM!.......look after yourself . Becuase he's not going to. Be careful. There was no consent to what happened between you. Dont put yourself in danger.

I am going to say the same thing to you, Kimuk.

I would really like it if you searched out the local community in your area, and went to some kind of meeting or event or munch group before you meet this online dom of yours face to face. NOT to play with anyone. Just to introduce yourself and see what's around.

 

[Lady_Fiona]

I agree with Stella, get yourself to some munches, if you need to find some look online. Fetlife has a lot of local ones advertised, US and UK. They are good places to be, like minds and good people.

Always be aware of abusers hiding behind BDSM labels, its so easy to be taken in when you are new to the scene and it can frighten you off forever.

 

[Mads]

I wholeheartedly agree with Stella and Kimuk... that isn't any sort of dominance, thats abuse and assault.
Walk the hell away

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I hope your ribs heal up well. I have nothing to say that has not already been said, so I just hope you heal up alright and this asshole doesn't keep trying to bother you. Do NOT be afraid to go to the cops if he does. I'm glad you have someone to help you through this and I hope they will give you all the support that you need.

and kimuk, I second Stella. Be careful.

 

[kimuk]

I am going to say the same thing to you, Kimuk.

I would really like it if you searched out the local community in your area, and went to some kind of meeting or event or munch group before you meet this online dom of yours face to face. NOT to play with anyone. Just to introduce yourself and see what's around.

i find that a terrifying option .
Public declaration?
I supose its a way to gain more insight
But i wouldnt know where to start

 

[Lady_Fiona]

i find that a terrifying option .
Public declaration?
I supose its a way to gain more insight
But i wouldnt know where to start

Everyone starts somewhere, and a crowd of like minded people is far safer than one on one.

 

[cittykat22]

you will all be plzd to know i have gone to the police...which ment i had to tell me brother everything thing that happened to me which is highly embarassing...and for further protection since he is able to post bail...my brother has moved me my 2 boys and my girlfriend into his home ...temorarily of course...but i will say its nice havin atleast my brother for the protecion and my girlfriend and u guys for all ur support...thank you very much u have all been so helpful in my time of need

 

[kimuk]

well done hunnie x

 

[Lady_Fiona]

you will all be plzd to know i have gone to the police...which ment i had to tell me brother everything thing that happened to me which is highly embarassing...and for further protection since he is able to post bail...my brother has moved me my 2 boys and my girlfriend into his home ...temorarily of course...but i will say its nice havin atleast my brother for the protecion and my girlfriend and u guys for all ur support...thank you very much u have all been so helpful in my time of need

Good girl, keep us posted.

 

[rekane]

Good for you for going to the police. It took courage to do that. And it also took courage to tell your brother.

I am really glad you are in a safe place.

Good luck to you.
I hope you can soon heal from this, physically and emotionally.
*sending good thoughts your way*

 

[bhndblueyes88]

I'm so glad that you are doing all the right things about your situation I hope the best for you and yours and that this abuser ceases to cause you any more strife.

 

[Chiara_searches]

I'm glad that you have gotten yourself safe. I also really admire you for going to the police. It may have been difficult and embarrassing but just think: you've taken action that might prevent this man from doing the same thing to others.

 

[ImOnIt]

OP is a fuckin hero and all credit to you.

 

[neci]

Thank you for the advice i am gettin my number changed today!!!...it is very scary situation and luckly my girlfriend, we have decided on an open relationship as we r both bi and its what we want, has taken the day off to help me and mend my wounds. And i only have bruised ribs thank god!!

remember to make sure you are keeping your girlfriend up to date on how you are feeling physically. if you start feeling not right, go to a doctor.

eta. to repeat what stella said. semen on open wounds is the same as unsafe sex. you need to go to the doc just at least to have them run a new batch of std tests. when you show up to your appointment, make sure to detail out what happened, and let them know how you are feeling currently.
writing it down helps.

 

[Etoile]

you will all be plzd to know i have gone to the police...which ment i had to tell me brother everything thing that happened to me which is highly embarassing...and for further protection since he is able to post bail...my brother has moved me my 2 boys and my girlfriend into his home ...temorarily of course...but i will say its nice havin atleast my brother for the protecion and my girlfriend and u guys for all ur support...thank you very much u have all been so helpful in my time of need

YAY, good for you!! Restraining order time!

 

[subwannabe]

Good for you! I don't really know what your history was but everyone needs to really find out about someone before putting that much trust in them.

 

[DVS]

you will all be plzd to know i have gone to the police...which ment i had to tell me brother everything thing that happened to me which is highly embarassing...and for further protection since he is able to post bail...my brother has moved me my 2 boys and my girlfriend into his home ...temorarily of course...but i will say its nice havin atleast my brother for the protecion and my girlfriend and u guys for all ur support...thank you very much u have all been so helpful in my time of need

This is good. Assholes like that are only interested in their pleasure. They have no interest in your safety. Sadly, I'm sure he probably had that evening planned from the beginning. And I'm sure he's done it before. You were just strong enough to take it to the police. I'm sure he didn't expect that, because most women will just take it and move on.

If you had gone back for another session with him, you would get more of the same, and maybe even worse. People like that don't understand compassion for another human. It's all about them and their pleasure. They aren't into the BDSM scene, they just use the lifestyle to get their victims. It's scary to hear, but repeated sessions with him would surely result in even more brutal beatings and possibly even death.

Thanks to you, he's now on the radar of the local police, so if they find a crime scene similar to yours or worse, he will be on the list of those they question. Because you were strong and went to the police, you may have even saved someone's life.

 

[Pleasure_Fan]

Thanks to you, he's now on the radar of the local police, so if they find a crime scene similar to yours or worse, he will be on the list of those they question. Because you were strong and went to the police, you may have even saved someone's life.

Second that... The only thing we can really do to make use of bad stuff is to turn it into good stuff. You did that by reporting him, and by setting an example here. Thank you!! That could not have been easy, and you get my kudos