Hand Fasting/Collaring

[Merelan]

I have been invited to participate in a hand fasting and collaring of a couple I know. They want me to be their witness, along with the "official".
They are Druid, but also a Dom and his sub. This is a dual ceremony where they will be not only married... the hand fasting... but accepting the responsibilities and pleasures of being collared together.
I am phrasing this all worng. It is an odd situation. But, here's my query.

Do I take a gift? If so, what? The usual things for a house? I want to get them something symbolic and personal, but how far is too far? I had thought maybe it was safer to get them jewelry. Maybe matching anklet and bracelet.

And then, what does one wear? Joking, just joking. I have already been told anything is fine. As I am not a druid and will not be participating in the actual ritual.

 

[cymbidia]

At all such occasions, merelan, a gift is always appropriate.

In this instance, if you don't know something they really need, a gift comemmorating their unique manner of celerating this occasion is a lovely idea. Something for them with the BDSM emblem, perhaps, a pair of matching keyrings, or (if you can find it) a small BDSM icon to place over a door.

The gift never has to be big, of course, but one is always welcome at happy occasions such as this one in which you will play a role.

For future reference, all collarings, when marked by a ceremony to which friends/relatives are invited, are definitely occasions for gift-giving (unless you've been asked not to bring a gift) in the same way that give a gift to people getting married.

To us, a formal collaring has the same level of responsibility, emotion, and commitment that is contained within a marriage ceremony.

 

[RisiaSkye]

Sounds like a beautiful ceremony you'll be attending, Merelan.

I'm a pagan, and Handfasting ceremonies, while tied to polytheistic religious worship, do lend themselves to the metaphorical expression of D/s committment as well. (In fact, I've got a story in the pipeline on this very subject. A happy overlap in the case of the Druid couple, I would think.

Blessed be to you and your loved ones on the occasion of their ritual & celebration.

If anyone's looking for ceremony ideas, ways to publicly celebrate a D/s union at a formal wedding ceremony, without "freaking the squares," Handfasting ceremonies are definitely a good place to start investigating.

Some texts to consider:
Living Wicca by Scott Cunningham
Wicca Craft by Gerina Dunwich
Love Magick from the editors of Llewellyn Press
The Encyclopedia of Witchcraft Ritual and Practice by Raymond Buckland

and the journals Green Man, New Moon Rising, and Magickal Times all carry essays on issues of celebratory ceremonies for those with alternative spiritualities and lives. I'm personally fond of NMR, but I'm biased, as they published a poem of mine about seven years ago. Incidentally, New Moon Rising is also available online, and has a huge archive:

New Moon Rising, Archives and Current Issues


RS

 

[Merelan]

Thank you all so much. I have thought of the perfect gift. I think...

A pair of trees for their new home. They choose the species. There is a super little nursery near me that says they can make up a nice certificate for them and is even going to arrange it on a indoor ficus tree. That way they have something now and then in the Spring, or I guess fall or whenever they choose, or actually when youplant trees, they can pick out what they want and where they will go. Then he just calls me and I go pay for which ever trees they chose.

What do you think?

Had thought about the fIcus being one of those that are actually two and forced into a twisted trunk. But they woudn't appreciate that, and thinking about it, either do I.

 

[cymbidia]

Beautiful! The pair of trees will be a very long-lasting and living testimony to the special day you'll be a part of, Merelan. What a thoughtful and lovely gift.

 

[Guest]

 

[SweetBrat73]

I think the trees are a great gift!!!


Brat

 

[EvilBrat74]

Tree's is a good idea.

 

[Boat1]

At all such occasions, merelan, a gift is always appropriate.

In this instance, if you don't know something they really need, a gift comemmorating their unique manner of celerating this occasion is a lovely idea. Something for them with the BDSM emblem, perhaps, a pair of matching keyrings, or (if you can find it) a small BDSM icon to place over a door.

The gift never has to be big, of course, but one is always welcome at happy occasions such as this one in which you will play a role.

For future reference, all collarings, when marked by a ceremony to which friends/relatives are invited, are definitely occasions for gift-giving (unless you've been asked not to bring a gift) in the same way that give a gift to people getting married.

To us, a formal collaring has the same level of responsibility, emotion, and commitment that is contained within a marriage ceremony.

I LOVE that you mentioned keyrings!

 

[Noor]

I have been invited to participate in a hand fasting and collaring of a couple I know. They want me to be their witness, along with the "official".
They are Druid, but also a Dom and his sub. This is a dual ceremony where they will be not only married... the hand fasting... but accepting the responsibilities and pleasures of being collared together.
I am phrasing this all worng. It is an odd situation. But, here's my query.

Do I take a gift? If so, what? The usual things for a house? I want to get them something symbolic and personal, but how far is too far? I had thought maybe it was safer to get them jewelry. Maybe matching anklet and bracelet.

And then, what does one wear? Joking, just joking. I have already been told anything is fine. As I am not a druid and will not be participating in the actual ritual.

Find out if they are registered anywhere.
I’d just look at it like a wedding.
I think giving jewelry is a bit too far because you don’t know the meaning and symbolism those item could mean to them and jewelry is something between intimates and/or family members.
Their day will be meaningful already.
I’d give them an experience or a gift certificate somewhere they might not usually go. A trampoline park, a flying wind tunnel experience, stuff like that.