Guide vs. Mentor vs. ???

[grace9]

Hi there,
I've just joined up in the last few days to the board and recently recognized my inclinations toward BDSM. I've read a few articles that mentioned guides and mentors (just a few lines within other topics). How do they help one to initiate into a new way of living?
Just wanting to know what the differences are and how they help. Has anyone had a guide? A mentor? What were your experiences if you did. How do you find one? Are there other "helper" options to choose from?
I'm a sub but have not been in a D/s relationship yet and wonder if this may be the best road to travel at first.

Thanks in advance to anyone who helps clear the fog

Best,
Grace

 

[catalina_francisco]

Welcome aboard. I was fortunate enough to meet someone online who became a strong influence and male mentor in my life. Though we have never met face to face as yet (hopefully will , he is one of the few people I trust to any degree. Without his friendship, love and caring guidance, I seriously doubt I would ever have made it to this point, at least not as safely and successfully as I have. He supported when I needed it (in all ways), and he pushed me when he felt it was time I found someone to give me the RL experience he couldn't. It is a journey which requires a lot of self examination, communication, reading etc., to help you reach a point from which you can safely explore the rest of the way. Enjoy your journey as it can be something you will be hard put to equal in any other way.

Catalina

 

[grace9]

Catalina

Catalina, I've read a whole bunch of threads and your posts are always informative kind and thorough. I'm so glad you anwered my sad little thread (LOL). I hope my experience will be as positive as yours. I will keep your advice in mind and keep looking over resources. My head is starting to spin from all the information out there. I knew once I made this choice something might end up hurting but I didn't think it would be my head...hahaha..! But anything worth learning takes time...
Thanks again for sharing so kindly, Catalina. I'll keep peeling through the threads and online to learn more.

All the best,
Grace

 

[FungiUg]

I'm dubious about the value of the concept of a "mentor".

To me it makes sense to have friends you can trust and ask questions of. I have those myself! But when you go beyond that, I just don't know.

I have tried the role of mentor a couple of times, and it's frustrating. Maybe this is the same issue I have with cyber sex? It's not real enough for me.

Anyway, I know people who it has worked for (Catalina is a good example), so it may well be worth exploring. But I wouldn't rush into it. I'd just try making some friends you can chat with and ask questions of first. And then when you feel the need/urge/desire, at that point find someone you can trust.

I know a lot of submissives never need a "mentor". So there's no real requirement for one, other than finding a path that works for you.