Group Sex VS Loving Wives

[Djmac1031]

The answer, you idiot, is you can't, if they're not on board and the worst thing to do is push because if a wife-or husband-does get guilted into trying it, may as well head to divorce court.

Absolutely 100% agree. I know a couple who were struggling with their marriage and made the mistake of thinking exploring swinging would solve their problems.

I think maybe a year later it was over.

 

[elizaloo]

Be very careful with this. In erotic stories and porn its all fun and games. But if you speak with real life swingers-the ones who do it right and aren't just looking to get with another couple and who cares about them later-will tell you, its not for everyone and a lot of ugliness can ensue, sometimes during, but more often after.

After my divorce I spent a few years running wild before I settled down again. At one point I was on adult friend finder looking for couples who wanted another guy to join in. I answered an ad, and we met...for coffee, spoke for over an hour while we felt each other out, saw if there was interest on the wife's part, if the husband felt okay with me, if I was into her etc....and we did nothing that night. We met that Friday night at their place and again, at first it was some conversation, then she came over and sat next to me, and we started very slow as if it were still a feeling out period. Sounds a little more boring than the exaggerated wildness of stories here, but its how serious couples do it.

Its in fantasy, but when reality strikes and you're watching another woman go down on your husband, when he's watching another man fuck you, that's the moment the bullet hits the bone, and you know for sure if you can deal with this. That or heat of the moment it might work, but afterwards there's a lot of doubt and wondering, was she better, was he bigger, why did my wife come harder for him, why did he fuck her so hard....

There is no turning back, my advice is if you or your partner have a shred of jealousy or insecurity between you, don't do it.

My wife and I have no interest in bringing other people in, but years ago did a soft swing with a couple. A soft swing-at least one version-is the couples watching each other have sex, but no swapping. My wife never took off her dress, she pulled the top down to show her tits, but only hiked it up when we had sex, she wasn't okay with exposing everything, the other wife on the other hand seemed as if she couldn't spread her legs for enough to put on a show, back to boundaries.

There, I have now bled the sexy out of one of the most popular porn tropes, but remember some things are fantasies for a reason.

THANK YOU for your very honest comment....that's exactly what I've been pondering myself. DH and I have a pretty open relationship - we met here on LIT LOL. Our initial meet and greet was for sex and we ended up really liking each other and it's been 14? years together, married 11. He's seen me through cancer and we've weathered some pretty difficult situations and we have been talking this idea to death since our friend mentioned it back around turkey day.

She flirts pretty aggressively with both of us and that's something else I'm wondering about ?bi?. She and I are getting to the point of 'no holds barred convos' so I know I'm going to have to pin her down. Right now, the four of us have left it at 'naked swimming' once the weather is accommodating and then we will see where it goes. Her husband is not my type at all (blond and slender) and I'm all about dark hair and muscles (hubby is a firefighter and has no trouble with hauling my +sized ass around the bed). They have another friend couple and the husband there DOES do it for me, so I'm not sure how that would work.

I've been exploring the idea in writing, so it's percolating, and I THINK I'm getting to the point that seeing him with her won't bother me. We've talked long and hard about whether or not either of us feels like it would damage our solid relationship, jealousy would be on my part. Lots to consider for sure and you've definitely pointed out the major concerns I have. We have, in the past, talked about adding a guy to our life, so the whole situation is not precisely 'new' - just more real!

 

[elizaloo]

Absolutely 100% agree. I know a couple who were struggling with their marriage and made the mistake of thinking exploring swinging would solve their problems.

I think maybe a year later it was over.

That's sad. The one thing I have 100% gotten out of all of this is that the primary relationship has to be solid and all issues addressed beforehand. I am enjoying all the input from everyone and going to spend the day reading y'alls stories!

 

[Djmac1031]

The one thing I have 100% gotten out of all of this is that the primary relationship has to be solid and all issues addressed beforehand

In fairness, I highly doubt it was the swinging that destroyed their marriage. They had deeper problems from what I understood.

But it certainly didn't help.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Having sex with other people is second only to having a baby as "how not to fix a failing relationship".

Tbh I'm still amazed I've still got any, let alone multiple relationships after having kids.

 

[Lifestyle66]

They told me one horror story about a group get together that wasn't all swapping, but a mix of some husbands who just wanted to watch their wife. One guy asked if he could take a new comers wife into the bedroom with him, and he agreed, but said he'd just stay where he was, she could have fun. That was a warning sign right away, it meant he already knew he couldn't watch. Next thing you know he ends up in the room threatening the guy and calling his wife names, Good times.

I always get annoyed, and I'm sure you'll agree, with the endless "How can I get my wife to agree to a threesome of a swap" threads in other forums. The answer, you idiot, is you can't, if they're not on board and the worst thing to do is push because if a wife-or husband-does get guilted into trying it, may as well head to divorce court.

All too true.

My wife and I go to nude resorts, where the people are far more open and friendly. Our first trip was to a C/O resort in Jamaica adjacent to Hedo. Talking to one guy there at the nude pool, he said he wanted to watch my wife and I in our room if we would allow him. He said there was a $150 cover charge for a day pass for him to go to Hedo next door to play and watch others, and his wife wouldn't allow him. That's a relationship headed for trouble.

Another couple we know were into the swinger crowds. The husband was very insecure, having been overweight most of his life and recently losing about 50 lbs. His wife was relating her wilder side stories from before they met, and we could tell the husband was uncomfortable with it. The wife later told us when her husband wasn't around that he's somewhat jealous of some of her male playmates at house parties. But they still go to those parties to sate her appetite. IMO, they are also another couple who are headed for trouble.

The couples we have met who seem satisfied and secure in their swinger relationship are both very secure in who they are as a desirable person (self-image), and they're both focused first on agreeing with each other and vetting their spouse's playmates. Any one-off deviations cause tensions will always cause problems later.

As a couple, neither the husband nor wife can "talk their spouse into it". The spouse needs to come to their own decision without pressure that they want to try it. And even then, they should proceed carefully, repeatedly checking with the spouse that they are okay.

 

[Athalia]

Polyamory and partner swapping have been a feature of a few of my stories. I submit them into the "Group Sex" category, and they all get put there.

I thought that "Loving Wives" had to had some element of betrayal and retribution, like blatant infidelity. Maybe I'm wrong about that.

 

[Emilymcplugger]

I had a similar experience a couple of years ago with my story 'Grumpy Humphrey's Easy Wife'. I wrote it to initially go into Loving Wives but around the time I was going to publish it the LW crowd were really angry, viciously attacking every story posted there with amazing vitriol, far worse than usual and I lost my nerve. Given the main erotic focus of the story is an orgy that the hot younger wife of a grouchy high school teacher has with his students (three male, two female, all 18 and seniors) who give their teacher a hard time in the class and play pranks on him, I thought that the Group Sex fans might like it more than the Loving Wives readers and published it there. Plus I had put in a lot of effort setting the story in 1960, and didn't want my hard work to be erased by mindless hatred.

It was a mistake, because in its new category the story flopped with mediocre scores and general indifference. The mostly negative comments against it seem to be from LW readers who found it by using tags - there was one the other day calling it 'horse shit' - and I regret not posting it in Loving Wives. At least it would have attracted some interest, even if the reaction was negative.

I wouldn't post in Group Sex again, but the most indifferent readers I've found to be Erotic Horror readers, who rarely comment or even rate stories posted there. This is surprising because writing in this category requires more imagination, but its not worth the time or effort if the readers aren't going to engage with the writers. One of my story series in this category had an authoritarian man get so angry with his slacker son that he literally exploded in a case of spontaneous human combustion, and concludes with the son later vanishing without trace never to be seen or heard of again. Not one comment about this very different plot.

Wish I’d known that before putting my five-part, first story in GS category (the most views on any of the parts is around 3000 after the first month, the worst, just over a 1000).

What do you consider low views?

Why is LW category held in such low regard?

And finally which category has the “best” crowd for stories? Is it EC, N and N or C and FF?

Cheers all.

 

[lc69hunter]

I put a trio story into Group Sex.

No need to worry about a vehement response - those readers are the least responsive of any category I've posted in. I won't post there again.

Most of your writings are not in my kink/fetish wheelhouse, but I have one of yours saved as a favorite

 

[Djmac1031]

So, after ALL this time since the story that sparked my original post here, it's recieved it's first troll comment, an Anonymous post with one, simple word. "Disgusting."

I deleted it, of course.

I'm more than open to criticism but if that's the only thing he has to offer, then it's a waste of time and digital storage space lol