Getting to know me...Getting to know Y/ou

[chelseachained]

Often at the beginning of a D/s relationship a discussion is had about limits, boundaries, and expectations. I find it interesting that many times I am asked about my boundaries within the first 5 minutes of a conversation. The timing of this question tells me a lot in regard to that person’s Dominant potential. I have no objection to establishing common ground right from the start i.e.: gore or not, slave or sub, r/l or online. However the intimacies of my boundaries are reserved for he who is a serious contender. Beyond any D/s rituals I may bring to my daily life (we all have different levels of capability) I am also a regular person, I read, love music, have hobbies, political views, I work, I have responsibilities. I, like all of us have a limited time frame for recreational things. There are things that make me laugh right out loud, and things that wound me to the core. My dominant needs to be my best friend. He needs to know the nuances of my psyche. To truly exist as “The One” in my life he must excel in the understanding of every aspect of my true nature. D/s is about so much more than obedience. The act of obedience resides within me. It does not emanate from you, and frankly will only take you so far. When there is a relationship built on the foundation of trust, respect, and friendship, a genuine concern for the well being of one another and a desire to be the cause of their joy, you have then established a firm path toward a wonderful journey. You must learn to make me laugh, before you earn the right to reduce me to tears. You must raise my level of expectations and help me to achieve them. You must recognize my weaknesses for what they are and not confuse them with obstinacy and guide me so I may overcome them. You must learn my body. Make it your own. Discover the layers and levels of sensuality hidden within me. Make me yearn to give myself to you completely. To crave for that which I had never before dared to imagine. The obedience resides in me but the transition resides in you. The effort you put forth will reward you in like. No more, no less. And finally, when you reach that intimate stage another thought. When you test me…test yourself. Be as willing as I am to explore new ground, trusting that I am safe with you, and knowing that I will not fault you if the results are not always what you/we were trying to accomplish. Taking that which served to enlighten with us and leaving the rest behind. Inspire me and I will inspire you. Enable me to grow and flourish, and you will ultimately be the creator of your own destiny. You… where ever and what ever you need to be, with me in your footsteps as it should be

 

[raven2]

Welcome Chelsea. That is a wonderfully though out first post.

 

[chelseachained]

Thank you

Welcome Chelsea. That is a wonderfully though out first post.

Thank you Raven for the welcome, i am so glad to have found this place smiles

 

[FurryFury]

Often at the beginning of a D/s relationship a discussion is had about limits, boundaries, and expectations. I find it interesting that many times I am asked about my boundaries within the first 5 minutes of a conversation. The timing of this question tells me a lot in regard to that person’s Dominant potential. I have no objection to establishing common ground right from the start i.e.: gore or not, slave or sub, r/l or online. However the intimacies of my boundaries are reserved for he who is a serious contender. Beyond any D/s rituals I may bring to my daily life (we all have different levels of capability) I am also a regular person, I read, love music, have hobbies, political views, I work, I have responsibilities. I, like all of us have a limited time frame for recreational things. There are things that make me laugh right out loud, and things that wound me to the core. My dominant needs to be my best friend. He needs to know the nuances of my psyche. To truly exist as “The One” in my life he must excel in the understanding of every aspect of my true nature. D/s is about so much more than obedience. The act of obedience resides within me. It does not emanate from you, and frankly will only take you so far. When there is a relationship built on the foundation of trust, respect, and friendship, a genuine concern for the well being of one another and a desire to be the cause of their joy, you have then established a firm path toward a wonderful journey. You must learn to make me laugh, before you earn the right to reduce me to tears. You must raise my level of expectations and help me to achieve them. You must recognize my weaknesses for what they are and not confuse them with obstinacy and guide me so I may overcome them. You must learn my body. Make it your own. Discover the layers and levels of sensuality hidden within me. Make me yearn to give myself to you completely. To crave for that which I had never before dared to imagine. The obedience resides in me but the transition resides in you. The effort you put forth will reward you in like. No more, no less. And finally, when you reach that intimate stage another thought. When you test me…test yourself. Be as willing as I am to explore new ground, trusting that I am safe with you, and knowing that I will not fault you if the results are not always what you/we were trying to accomplish. Taking that which served to enlighten with us and leaving the rest behind. Inspire me and I will inspire you. Enable me to grow and flourish, and you will ultimately be the creator of your own destiny. You… where ever and what ever you need to be, with me in your footsteps as it should be

I like your words and welcome!

Fury

 

[O'Mac]

Interesting remarks, and definitely something for everyone to think about. Welcome to the boards.

 

[Solitude]

Well said chelsea. Welcome and enjoy.

 

[chelseachained]

thank you

I like your words and welcome!

Fury

Thank you for the welcome

 

[chelseachained]

thank you

Interesting remarks, and definitely something for everyone to think about. Welcome to the boards.

thank you for the welcome and the response

 

[FurryFury]

Thank you for the welcome

My pleasure.

Fury

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Welcome CC we don't bite...much here.

Your thoughts are not only profound but heart felt.

My Dominant has never in almost a year ever asked me directly about limits and in that time we have established only one.

Matter of fact just the other day when he was taking the cane to my upturned ass I foolishly asked why we never discussed a safe word. He chuckled and asked "why would you like to use a safe word...no then be a good girl and hush" as the cane continued to raise and fall.

He knows more about my limits than I do, he the one with the experience and me a novice.

Often at the beginning of a D/s relationship a discussion is had about limits, boundaries, and expectations. I find it interesting that many times I am asked about my boundaries within the first 5 minutes of a conversation. The timing of this question tells me a lot in regard to that person’s Dominant potential. I have no objection to establishing common ground right from the start i.e.: gore or not, slave or sub, r/l or online. However the intimacies of my boundaries are reserved for he who is a serious contender. Beyond any D/s rituals I may bring to my daily life (we all have different levels of capability) I am also a regular person, I read, love music, have hobbies, political views, I work, I have responsibilities. I, like all of us have a limited time frame for recreational things. There are things that make me laugh right out loud, and things that wound me to the core. My dominant needs to be my best friend. He needs to know the nuances of my psyche. To truly exist as “The One” in my life he must excel in the understanding of every aspect of my true nature. D/s is about so much more than obedience. The act of obedience resides within me. It does not emanate from you, and frankly will only take you so far. When there is a relationship built on the foundation of trust, respect, and friendship, a genuine concern for the well being of one another and a desire to be the cause of their joy, you have then established a firm path toward a wonderful journey. You must learn to make me laugh, before you earn the right to reduce me to tears. You must raise my level of expectations and help me to achieve them. You must recognize my weaknesses for what they are and not confuse them with obstinacy and guide me so I may overcome them. You must learn my body. Make it your own. Discover the layers and levels of sensuality hidden within me. Make me yearn to give myself to you completely. To crave for that which I had never before dared to imagine. The obedience resides in me but the transition resides in you. The effort you put forth will reward you in like. No more, no less. And finally, when you reach that intimate stage another thought. When you test me…test yourself. Be as willing as I am to explore new ground, trusting that I am safe with you, and knowing that I will not fault you if the results are not always what you/we were trying to accomplish. Taking that which served to enlighten with us and leaving the rest behind. Inspire me and I will inspire you. Enable me to grow and flourish, and you will ultimately be the creator of your own destiny. You… where ever and what ever you need to be, with me in your footsteps as it should be

 

[chelseachained]

greetings to you blushing

thank you for your comments and as far as the bite much goes....i have never objected to a well placed nibble ...laughing my Dom and i dont always communicate with words. It is part of the knowing i guess. He watches my face, my posture, my eyes...and i am sure your One does too. we do not have need of a safe word between us however that should not necessarily be true for all relationships. Some might require it, especially in the begininng. Communication is key. i also believe that many females in their great desire to please...do not take the time to really know themselves. Know...what you offer to another and then let the mysteries unfold. smiles bottoms up to you blushing hehehe c.

 

[FurryFury]

Welcome CC we don't bite...much here.

Your thoughts are not only profound but heart felt.

My Dominant has never in almost a year ever asked me directly about limits and in that time we have established only one.

Matter of fact just the other day when he was taking the cane to my upturned ass I foolishly asked why we never discussed a safe word. He chuckled and asked "why would you like to use a safe word...no then be a good girl and hush" as the cane continued to raise and fall.

He knows more about my limits than I do, he the one with the experience and me a novice.

I'm not sure what to think about that BB. How long have you known this dude who doesn't want to use a safe word?

I mean each to their own.

I do tend to trust too quickly and too well.

I don't use one with my husband but I've known him for a loooong time. Not only that, he really doesn't get into inflicting pain except when I react so very turned on to it. So I don't really worry about him getting carried away.

I guess you don't work about your Dom either but it is a new-ish relationship right?

I think if I were in a new-ish relationship, I'd want that option of a safe word.
*shrugs* I imagine starting a new relationship with a Dom would make me feel very shy and very careful at first anyway.

Fury

 

[babiesmiles]

Even if a bit late may I join in welcoming you on board chelseachained ?

I liked your words a lot . b.


edited for typos

 

[chelseachained]

Thank you babysmiles

it is a pleasure to be here an am enjoying the interaction so far

 

[gingermango]

Well said Chelsea. Well said indeed.

My dominant is also my wife. While I have sub'd to others prior to my marriage, I've never been submissive to someone I wasn't emotionally involved with. I mean, let's face it: most BDSM involves a substantial willing suspension of disbelief in order to pull it off. I'm 5' 10", 180 pounds of reasonably solid man. My 5' 3" 120 pound slip of a wife dresses in a silly costume and "orders" me to bend over her knee "or else"?!?! Yeah, right.

But I do what she orders. Every time. Sometimes willingly, often with great trepidation? Why? Because she knows the control, the discipline and love is what I crave. And she knows what words to use, what threats and rewards get the responses she demands and I desire. She knows ME, inside and out. As you say, we are all people and we all have "real lives" - jobs, homes, families, pets, bills, opinions, joys and fears. The best dominant, in my opinion, is the one who knows those things about you so (s)he can use them without abusing you, if that makes sense.

Well, I've gone on too long. In any event, wonderful post.

 

[chelseachained]

Well said Chelsea. Well said indeed.

My dominant is also my wife. While I have sub'd to others prior to my marriage, I've never been submissive to someone I wasn't emotionally involved with. I mean, let's face it: most BDSM involves a substantial willing suspension of disbelief in order to pull it off. I'm 5' 10", 180 pounds of reasonably solid man. My 5' 3" 120 pound slip of a wife dresses in a silly costume and "orders" me to bend over her knee "or else"?!?! Yeah, right.

But I do what she orders. Every time. Sometimes willingly, often with great trepidation? Why? Because she knows the control, the discipline and love is what I crave. And she knows what words to use, what threats and rewards get the responses she demands and I desire. She knows ME, inside and out. As you say, we are all people and we all have "real lives" - jobs, homes, families, pets, bills, opinions, joys and fears. The best dominant, in my opinion, is the one who knows those things about you so (s)he can use them without abusing you, if that makes sense.

Well, I've gone on too long. In any event, wonderful post.

How fortunate for you that your are married to your one. It is so often the case that one half of the union is vanilla which seems to always leave one or the other wanting. thank you sharing.

 

[C Stephen]

Re: Getting to know me

I feel blessed by seeing two posts that spell out the difference between domination and abuse in a very ponient way. In my opinion to be Dominant one must truely care about the one submitting to you. If thier needs and welfare are not of great importance to you you are dominering rather than dominant. IMHO that is a unhealthy situation.

 

[chelseachained]

Thank you for that affirmation

I feel blessed by seeing two posts that spell out the difference between domination and abuse in a very ponient way. In my opinion to be Dominant one must truely care about the one submitting to you. If thier needs and welfare are not of great importance to you you are dominering rather than dominant. IMHO that is a unhealthy situation.

Though i do understand and respect that others may practise a different level I again feel it is important to have a base understanding of yourself and your partner