Getting over shyness.

[foreverandmore]

A little background about me is that I am nineteen year old woman who is increasingly shy. I am a bit new to the whole world of dominace/submission.

The only thing is i feel that I am a complete failure at finding someone thats fits my needs.

So I ask for some advice, what are some tips about getting over shyness and finding a dominant man? I'm not looking for nsa or anything, but an actual loving somewhat daddy dom situation.

Am I hopless because of my shyness?

 

[nerk]

No, you aren't helpless.
You are a little bit more at the mercy of fate, however.
I am twice your age, and terribly shy as well, but am pleased to say that I have had several satisfying sexual experiences in the past decade. Some of them even involved other people. So you shouldn't give up hope altogether.

Also, if I'm right about the way the world works, being 19 and having a pussy, you should be about chin deep in horny guys willing to play daddy long enough to get in your pants by the time I finish typing this.

 

[foreverandmore]

Uhm, thank you....

Anyone else with uh..advice?

 

[jtf71961]

Uhm, thank you....

Anyone else with uh..advice?

You are just young an inexperienced and you havent really accepted inside the fact of oprening up your nude body to another person. Through time it will get easier and then you will think back, why you were like that in the first place. Give yourself time, and dont rush it, you will be fine!

 

[foreverandmore]

My problem isn't quiet like that. I should have been more specific I suppose.

I have been in one D/S reletionship before and the only problem we had was the meeting. Fortunately he came to me, so I didn't have to go to him. Though as time went on, we saw we weren't met to be together and it ended.

I just wanted to share that considering the "nude" comment.

 

[jtf71961]

My problem isn't quiet like that. I should have been more specific I suppose.

I have been in one D/S reletionship before and the only problem we had was the meeting. Fortunately he came to me, so I didn't have to go to him. Though as time went on, we saw we weren't met to be together and it ended.

I just wanted to share that considering the "nude" comment.

Maybe try a google search about people that have the same intrests as you do. That way you will know that you have the same intrests as the person you are meeting and that should make it a little easier and clear what the other person wants(just like yours). I am sure you can find people the same as you. Sorry about the misinterpretation!

 

[Christopher2012]

Well, there's a difference between being dominant in the bedroom and being dominant in life. You probably want the former withOUT the later.

Alot of guys are shy and have a hard time pulling that courage together to talk to you. But once you guys start talking and getting comfortable with each other, then he might handcuff you to the bed and rock your world...

But if you meet a guy who is dominant in life, he might not care about you as a person and then we get abuse and beating and all sorts of nasty stuff that we don't want.

The initial meeting is weird, no doubt about it. Fake it until you make it..... but that advice is more for guys than gals.

 

[satindesire]

A little background about me is that I am nineteen year old woman who is increasingly shy. I am a bit new to the whole world of dominace/submission.

The only thing is i feel that I am a complete failure at finding someone thats fits my needs.

So I ask for some advice, what are some tips about getting over shyness and finding a dominant man? I'm not looking for nsa or anything, but an actual loving somewhat daddy dom situation.

Am I hopless because of my shyness?

Getting over shyness is as simple as realizing that talking to someone you're attracted to is NO harder than talking to someone you're not attracted to. An attractive person is not more important or "better" in any way than a person you wouldn't sleep with, and once you practice speaking to people you don't know, you'll eventually get over being shy.

I was ridiculously shy to the point of panic attacks in public in my teens. At the tender age of 18, I packed up everything I owned and moved by myself across the country. I knew no one and had basically nothing, and in order to -survive- I had to FORCE myself to talk to people I didn't know.

I got over being shy really quick, because once I got it through my head that I wasn't as important as I thought I was, I was fine! My problem was "Oh My God, what if everyone is looking at me/judging me/noticing that I'm not as perfect and XYZ!" and really, a LOT of shyness is paralyzing narcissism. I'm just a face in the crowd, just like you, so no need to be scared!

I remember very clearly what it was like to feel stifled by shyness, but you absolutely have to force yourself to talk to people and BELIEVE that no one is really examining you as closely as you think. It'll take a ton of self-motivation and some mental gymnastics, but you absolutely 100% CAN do it!

As for finding the right BDSM relationship...to be honest, if you limit yourself to BDSM relationships with experienced people familiar with BDSM then you're already shooting yourself in the foot. Work on finding a good relationship FIRST, with someone you care about and are truly compatible with. THEN worry about the BDSM. The more you narrow your search, the harder it will be to find a person you can love!

 

[Jamison]

I got over being shy really quick, because once I got it through my head that I wasn't as important as I thought I was, I was fine! My problem was "Oh My God, what if everyone is looking at me/judging me/noticing that I'm not as perfect and XYZ!" and really, a LOT of shyness is paralyzing narcissism. I'm just a face in the crowd, just like you, so no need to be scared!

That, right there, is some of the best advice I've ever heard, Satin. I know because I had the same kind of problem for a good part of my life. The rest was really good, too, but that part is exceptional. Well done, ma'am!

As for finding the right BDSM relationship...to be honest, if you limit yourself to BDSM relationships with experienced people familiar with BDSM then you're already shooting yourself in the foot. Work on finding a good relationship FIRST, with someone you care about and are truly compatible with. THEN worry about the BDSM. The more you narrow your search, the harder it will be to find a person you can love!

I'm not the BDSM type, but this is also really good advice. When we're talking about real relationships and not just fantasies it pays to make sure you find someone you can really connect with. Trust me, they will make your wildest dreams come true, not because you want it, but because they want it because you want it, if that makes any sense.

Best of luck in your search, foreverandmore