Get into stripping?

[Marie_Kitten]

Oh my goodness! How long did you go to school?

 

[ratherabsurd1]

Just my 2 cents .. It is not worth the trade off for the money .. You look like one amazing lady that has her act together and can find an alternate route .. I wouldn't want you to suffer ill effects from it and all for money ..

 

[ratherabsurd1]

I have looked at some of the schools out there and it is so expensive I can't believe it

 

[ratherabsurd1]

Iwas looking at an art school that would have been about 150,000 for less than 4 years

 

[Somehowyou]

From what I gather, strippers and escorts/prostitutes almost always have a history of molestation, abuse, assault, etc., that was never addressed properly. .

I have been a hobbyist for 6 years. I have dated a few girls in the industry. I have hobbied on 4 continents. My anecdotal data indicates that this is not true.
The girls that did this that I got to know well got into it because they needed money just like the OP. Some of it was the lure of fast money to buy things. The pressure to have nice things. "I was tired of living this life of shit so I called the add and I started that night." You would not believe the variety of people that you will meet. do you have a study that you can reference? I would be interested to read this. Also, in the USA, where prostittuion is illegal, I get the feeling that the girls can be a little worse off.

I've heard strippers and other female AND male sex workers express how difficult it can be to get out of the industry and transition to work where they make far, far less money for much longer hours. I'm sure it's very tough to go that far backwards income-wise when one doesn't have to. It seems like a lot of people figure they'll strip or whatever for a year or three to pay the bills, but then they have trouble exiting the industry when they've achieved that initial goal. And staying longer-term may very well be where many get sucked into the stuff they NEVER planned on doing when they first started. The longer you have a job like that, the more "normal" the environment and people become, and the tougher it can be to reintegrate into a more traditional environment.

I have heard this but the girls get burned out and quit anyway. Especially outcall girls. Many are going to school. One of my favorites was a parapro at a school, another was a mechanic at a Ford dealership, and another was a travel agent. The majority do not last long. Some come and go. Interesting dynamic

 

[Christopher2012]

Oh my goodness! How long did you go to school?

what the!?!?!?! How?!?!

Undergrad for 3 years + Grad school for 3 years

 

[SweetErika]

I have been a hobbyist for 6 years. I have dated a few girls in the industry. I have hobbied on 4 continents. My anecdotal data indicates that this is not true.

What makes you think the "girls" you've paid for sex would even consider sharing their histories with you? One of the major reasons there's a lack of tons of accurate data is abuse/assault/molestation is such a sensitive subject that people are usually incredibly reluctant to discuss/share. And if a prostitute is smart, s/he is certainly NOT going to share her history with a john because that may very well paint a bigger target on her for more exploitation and violence.

The girls that did this that I got to know well got into it because they needed money just like the OP. Some of it was the lure of fast money to buy things. The pressure to have nice things. "I was tired of living this life of shit so I called the add and I started that night."

Yes, I'm sure they did get into it for the money initially. Pretty much everyone does it for the money, in some form or another, don't they? But just like a woman probably isn't going to tell you she needs the money to support a drug habit or even a child at home, she's not going to tell you about any abuse/assault history she may have. For those with such a history, they may actively avoid the topic, subconsciously avoid it, or maybe they simply haven't made the connection and/or they've buried those memories really deep.

do you have a study that you can reference? I would be interested to read this. Also, in the USA, where prostittuion is illegal, I get the feeling that the girls can be a little worse off.

The studies many people would like to see don't exist for a variety of understandable reasons. What IS available is a shitload of anecdotal evidence from a variety of sources (and, sorry, but I'll take that over yours any day) and some studies that aren't comprehensive. Thus, one really has to look at all of the information that IS available and draw some educated conclusions. If you're interested, here's some reading for you:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2042031/
http://www.prostitutionresearch.com/prostitution_research/000020.html (I think this one is SUPER interesting because it's cross-cultural and goes into many of the reasons accurate data can't be obtained)
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2254224/ (States research has shown childhood abuse significantly predicts sex work in different populations; backs that up with lots of other citations you can check out)

Anyway, we know that violence against young people is a tremendous problem globally. We know it's under-reported, under-treated, and it can be correlated with many outcomes (substance abuse, abusive relationships, seeking careers that focus on helping other survivors, etc.), so why would it be any surprise that becoming a sex worker is one of those outcomes?

 

[AdjectiveNounVerb]

On the subject of stripping and prostitution, where you are definitely affects it: at clubs in Atlanta I've gotten enough private dances from women that thanked me afterwards for not treating them like a prostitute that I think pressure to have sex with the customers may be a problem there (especially given some of the ways they've said they were treated like prostitutes). On the other hand, the clubs I've been to in Virginia all had layouts that made it impossible to get away with sex unless it was of the "Let's leave this club and go somewhere else to have sex" variety. And at the first club I ever went to, in Minneapolis, the women were very adamant that they didn't have sex with customers but those whores at some other club they named did. So, yeah, where you are matters.

On the subject of how expensive college is, I think because I'm an engineer I'm obligated to tell you not to go into debt for any sort of liberal arts/humanities/"social science" degree. It's in our code of ethics or something. But in seriousness, don't take out more loans than you have to. Which in my mind means asking yourself if going to College A instead of College B is really going to be enough better for you that paying the difference between College A's costs and College B's costs makes sense. And whether paying to study what you're studying makes sense in the first place.

 

[Somehowyou]

What makes you think the "girls" you've paid for sex would even consider sharing their histories with you? One of the major reasons there's a lack of tons of accurate data is abuse/assault/molestation is such a sensitive subject that people are usually incredibly reluctant to discuss/share. And if a prostitute is smart, s/he is certainly NOT going to share her history with a john

You are absolutly correct about your first sentence. However, I have had relationships with a few and got to know them socially and personally. I also spend a lot of time on other sites discussing this sort of thing with other hobbyists, the agency owners, and the girls. I am telling you there are all kinds out there and I think you would be surprised.

Yes, I'm sure they did get into it for the money initially. Pretty much everyone does it for the money, in some form or another, don't they? But just like a woman probably isn't going to tell you she needs the money to support a drug habit or even a child at home, she's not going to tell you about any abuse/assault history she may have. For those with such a history, they may actively avoid the topic, subconsciously avoid it, or maybe they simply haven't made the connection and/or they've buried those memories really deep.

One girl I know got out when she had enough to buy a condo for her and her child. Others get decent jobs and melt away. Some places where casual sex for money is more acceptable girls will do this for a time to save money. Places like Rio girls get in their late 20's/early 30's and marry a former customer. Thialand as well. Montreal is another place where girls will work for an agency because they have some anonimity rather then dancing in front of 1000's of men a week. A troubling thing is that some seemingly nice girls get into it because they just want nice things like new clothes and nice things. the USA is a little more sketchy to get a handle on because of LE. Our laws actually makes the world's oldest profession tougher on the girls.

The studies many people would like to see don't exist for a variety of understandable reasons. What IS available is a shitload of anecdotal evidence from a variety of sources (and, sorry, but I'll take that over yours any day) and some studies that aren't comprehensive. Thus, one really has to look at all of the information that IS available and draw some educated conclusions. If you're interested, here's some reading for you:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2042031/
http://www.prostitutionresearch.com/prostitution_research/000020.html (I think this one is SUPER interesting because it's cross-cultural and goes into many of the reasons accurate data can't be obtained)
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2254224/ (States research has shown childhood abuse significantly predicts sex work in different populations; backs that up with lots of other citations you can check out)

Thank you for the links I will read these. I do not doubt that there are a lot of troubled girls in this business. Be careful of crap research with people that have an axe to grind. For example, Fox news ran a story saying that 13 and 14 year olds were getting into prostitution in the Atlanta. They were claiming 1,000s of girls and they started by dancing first. I was scratching my head because every girl that dances has a license on display in the managers office for LE. I think a few could slide under the radar but I think we would know a 14 y.o. when we see one. this was a joke. There are a lot of others bogus studies. Did you ever see the movie "Taken" where girls were kidnapped and chained to beds and force fed heroin until they were hooked. Did anyone really buy into this?

 

[SweetErika]

You are absolutly correct about your first sentence. However, I have had relationships with a few and got to know them socially and personally. I also spend a lot of time on other sites discussing this sort of thing with other hobbyists, the agency owners, and the girls. I am telling you there are all kinds out there and I think you would be surprised.

I don't doubt there are all kinds of sex workers. I'm not really sure why you keep making this point to me, considering it's one I've never disputed.

One girl I know got out when she had enough to buy a condo for her and her child. Others get decent jobs and melt away. Some places where casual sex for money is more acceptable girls will do this for a time to save money. Places like Rio girls get in their late 20's/early 30's and marry a former customer. Thialand as well. Montreal is another place where girls will work for an agency because they have some anonimity rather then dancing in front of 1000's of men a week.

You seem to have an incredibly idealized view of the industry. You keep mentioning all of the women who reach their financial and career goals, but fail to talk about all of those who don't because they're sucked into drugs, pimped, broken physically and/or emotionally, killed, etc. Even higher class hookers are subjected to violence, develop substance abuse problems, etc.

A troubling thing is that some seemingly nice girls get into it because they just want nice things like new clothes and nice things.

Why is that troubling? If you're all about women being empowered to do any job they wish, and you believe prostitutes get into the industry for the money, then why is it troubling when they do just that?

And what's this about "seemingly nice girls"? I thought you've been arguing that most of the women you've encountered, talked to, etc. are nice, upstanding women who are just trying to achieve their goals.

I'm not trying to be argumentative, but what you're saying strikes me as incredibly contradictory. Also, I have to wonder why you continuously refer to the [presumably adult] women you patronize as "girls." That's a pretty marginalizing term for adult women one claims to respect.

the USA is a little more sketchy to get a handle on because of LE. Our laws actually makes the world's oldest profession tougher on the girls.

Agreed, although the data shows that it's a sketchy (at best) industry nearly EVERYWHERE. I think the regulated brothels in developed places such as Australia, Amsterdam and Nevada are pretty damn good, but that's not what we're talking about here, is it?

Thank you for the links I will read these. I do not doubt that there are a lot of troubled girls in this business. Be careful of crap research with people that have an axe to grind. For example, Fox news ran a story saying that 13 and 14 year olds were getting into prostitution in the Atlanta. They were claiming 1,000s of girls and they started by dancing first. I was scratching my head because every girl that dances has a license on display in the managers office for LE. I think a few could slide under the radar but I think we would know a 14 y.o. when we see one. this was a joke. There are a lot of others bogus studies. Did you ever see the movie "Taken" where girls were kidnapped and chained to beds and force fed heroin until they were hooked. Did anyone really buy into this?

If you have Netflix, there's a fantastic documentary about how a couple of guys cruised the streets VIDEOTAPING exactly how they'd lure underage girls into prostitution. Craigslist was a mecca for pimping out underage girls. Now I don't think FOX News is a bastion of credible info, but it's possible those girls in ATL DID start by dancing, just privately or at underground clubs. We know that child prostitution and exploitation is an enormous problem here, and just about everywhere else. The same goes for sexual slavery. Hopefully you get that for every story you deem bogus, there are countless others that are untold and frighteningly true.

 

[RuReal]

I thought we were talking about stripping and not hookers in most places there is a big difference between the two. All I can suggest to the OP considering the wide verity of views is do your research locally. Talk to people if you can't do that then it might not be for you.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Did you ever see the movie "Taken" where girls were kidnapped and chained to beds and force fed heroin until they were hooked. Did anyone really buy into this?

Some RL stories that might be of interest:

http://articles.courant.com/2012-05...tion-sting-prostitution-ring-forbes-and-paris
http://www.walnet.org/csis/news/vancouver_98/province-980303.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/extras...sale-as-a-sex-slave-by-the-triads-819231.html
http://www.nij.gov/journals/262/sex-trafficking.htm

 

[bailadora]

Some RL stories that might be of interest:

http://articles.courant.com/2012-05...tion-sting-prostitution-ring-forbes-and-paris
http://www.walnet.org/csis/news/vancouver_98/province-980303.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/extras...sale-as-a-sex-slave-by-the-triads-819231.html
http://www.nij.gov/journals/262/sex-trafficking.htm

*shudders*

Just when I thought *maybe* I was an idiot for buying into Hollywood hype....

Also, I have to wonder why you continuously refer to the [presumably adult women] you patronize as "girls." That's a pretty marginalizing term for adult women one claims to respect.

Interesting observation. I frequently use the term "girl" in reference to myself or other women - as in "I'm a Southern girl" (or "gal", if I'm really feeling my Southern roots) or "This girl that I used to work with." I'm not phased by the term at all and mean no disrespect to anyone else when I use it in reference to them. Does the gender of the speaker or the subject under discussion at all influence your perception of the intent behind the usage or does it just irk you in general?

 

[southern_gal]

Maybe this is off topic but I was wondering if anyone has heard of or known peronally a woman that has taken private stripping / erotic dancing lessons and how it turned out. I would like to do that for my husband I think. I would die before I got naked in public and it is sooo out of character for me that I think it would knock his socks off if I learned something like that. To the one that posed the original question I would only add that if it is extra income you are seeking and have no issues with exposing your body, why not try cam shows and the like? Good luck with your search.

 

[Somehowyou]

Some RL stories that might be of interest:

http://articles.courant.com/2012-05...tion-sting-prostitution-ring-forbes-and-paris
http://www.walnet.org/csis/news/vancouver_98/province-980303.html
http://www.independent.co.uk/extras...sale-as-a-sex-slave-by-the-triads-819231.html
http://www.nij.gov/journals/262/sex-trafficking.htm

Yikes! this sure is horrible ugly stuff. I hope they hang the bastards. thnaks for the post.

 

[bailadora]

Maybe this is off topic but I was wondering if anyone has heard of or known peronally a woman that has taken private stripping / erotic dancing lessons and how it turned out. I would like to do that for my husband I think. I would die before I got naked in public and it is sooo out of character for me that I think it would knock his socks off if I learned something like that. To the one that posed the original question I would only add that if it is extra income you are seeking and have no issues with exposing your body, why not try cam shows and the like? Good luck with your search.

*raises hand*

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=548607

I ended up taking lessons from a local belly dancer who had also taken pole dancing lessons. I've gotta say, the fusion of the two styles was pretty cool and my husband sure appreciated my efforts. If there aren't any local classes/instructors in your area, you might want to consider using the search term "erotic dance" on Amazon. IRC, there were a couple of DVD's I was going to order prior to finding my local instructor.

 

[Somehowyou]

Why is that troubling? If you're all about women being empowered to do any job they wish, and you believe prostitutes get into the industry for the money, then why is it troubling when they do just that? .

I am troubled when they say they got into this because they wanted material possesions like wearing designer clothing etc. Dancing your way through school or providing for a family is one thing. The pressure to own material possessions like a 500$ pair of designer jeans and the latest I phone due to a successful marketing campaign is a little troubeling. What would you do for a Klondike bar?

I'm not trying to be argumentative, .

Are you sure?

but what you're saying strikes me as incredibly contradictory. Also, I have to wonder why you continuously refer to the [presumably adult] women you patronize as "girls." That's a pretty marginalizing term for adult women one claims to respect. .

Oh so now you speak for all the sex workers too? Believe me I know them better than you and they need me more than they need you. You do not know one of these women.

If you have Netflix, there's a fantastic documentary about how a couple of guys cruised the streets VIDEOTAPING exactly how they'd lure underage girls into prostitution. Craigslist was a mecca for pimping out underage girls. Now I don't think FOX News is a bastion of credible info, but it's possible those girls in ATL DID start by dancing, just privately or at underground clubs. We know that child prostitution and exploitation is an enormous problem here, and just about everywhere else. The same goes for sexual slavery. Hopefully you get that for every story you deem bogus, there are countless others that are untold and frighteningly true.

Thank you. I will check it out. I hear a lot of talk of trafficing and under aged girls. I am sure that these are not isolated incidents. However, The women I choose to deal with are adults and in the USA work independently and are drug free (not including pot and the vino I bring along). How can I be sure they are drug free? I cannot say for certain. But they insist that I must be in order to see them. They live in beautiful houses and condos and drive nice cars and take care of themselves. They are not walking the streets at 2am with thigh high vinyl boots on. Are you sure that your polyamorous partners do not use dope in private or do you screen for that too?

 

[Primalex]

From what I gather, strippers and escorts/prostitutes almost always have a history of molestation, abuse, assault, etc., that was never addressed properly.

I have trouble to believe this. Here are several brothels which merely only consist of students. I have a hard time picturing women, whose history of abuse subconsciously leads them to prostitution and a degree at the same time. I think it's much more likely that their intelligence makes them pick logic over emotions and so prostitution over being broke without reason.

Marie, another thing to think about is how you'll likely feel getting traditional jobs after stripping. I've heard strippers and other female AND male sex workers express how difficult it can be to get out of the industry and transition to work where they make far, far less money for much longer hours. I'm sure it's very tough to go that far backwards income-wise when one doesn't have to.

Sure, why would you do a step backwards in the first place?

 

[Primalex]

I am troubled when they say they got into this because they wanted material possesions like wearing designer clothing etc. Dancing your way through school or providing for a family is one thing.

So...what if you have sex with strangers for fun? Is this better or worse then?

 

[southern_gal]

*raises hand*

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=548607

I ended up taking lessons from a local belly dancer who had also taken pole dancing lessons. I've gotta say, the fusion of the two styles was pretty cool and my husband sure appreciated my efforts. If there aren't any local classes/instructors in your area, you might want to consider using the search term "erotic dance" on Amazon. IRC, there were a couple of DVD's I was going to order prior to finding my local instructor.

thanks for the link and I have just about decided to give this a try. Not sure how sexy I would be and some things might wiggle that haven't wiggled in years but it might be fun and lead to more.

 

[Somehowyou]

So...what if you have sex with strangers for fun? Is this better or worse then?

No, I agree with you but you have to like it. I knew a girl in Montreal that was a travel agent and she worked a couple nights a month for extra cash and she said "...besides. I need this [the physical love and intamacy]" as she waved the palm of her hand around the bed. She may as well get paid for it from guys like me that can afford it.

I just hope they pay themselves first instead of Gucci, Apple, Porsche. The careers seem to be fairly short.

 

[SweetErika]

Interesting observation. I frequently use the term "girl" in reference to myself or other women - as in "I'm a Southern girl" (or "gal", if I'm really feeling my Southern roots) or "This girl that I used to work with." I'm not phased by the term at all and mean no disrespect to anyone else when I use it in reference to them. Does the gender of the speaker or the subject under discussion at all influence your perception of the intent behind the usage or does it just irk you in general?

Yes, definitely. I haven't analyzed it much, but I think there's a vast difference between, say, a [particularly older] man calling all women "girls" or one who's in a position of power referring to women (e.g. subordinates at work or coworkers in general, adult students, servers, strippers, etc.) that way, and a woman using "girls" or men using it in certain contexts. "I'm going out with the girls tonight," or, "I saw a smokin' hot girl at the store today," doesn't bother me, but I'd find it very odd if a woman referred to all other women or older women as "girls" just as I find it bizarre when I hear older teens and twentysomethings say "kid" when they're referring to an adult and/or someone who's actually older than them.

I guess it's one of those things that can--but doesn't necessarily--have greater meaning.

 

[Somehowyou]

I have trouble to believe this. Here are several brothels which merely only consist of students. I have a hard time picturing women, whose history of abuse subconsciously leads them to prostitution and a degree at the same time. I think it's much more likely that their intelligence makes them pick logic over emotions and so prostitution over being broke without reason.

You make a good point. I have read more than a couple of threads on this forum written by a male whose partner cannot let go becuase they were raped. She doesn't like to be touched there etc. And we are supposed to believe that the majority of the dancers and prostitutes have been raped or sexually abused by a family member? Which is it? does sexual abuse drive you towards being a nympho or does it make you not want to be touched?

 

[SweetErika]

You make a good point. I have read more than a couple of threads on this forum written by a male whose partner cannot let go becuase they were raped. She doesn't like to be touched there etc. And we are supposed to believe that the majority of the dancers and prostitutes have been raped or sexually abused by a family member? Which is it? does sexual abuse drive you towards being a nympho or does it make you not want to be touched?

Wow. Just wow.

Take a look at the sexual assault stats for yourself. Keep in mind that those are only the ones we know about - plenty of survivors keep their stories to themselves.

Then consider all of the molestation, physical violence and emotional abuse young people are subjected to.

And when I talk about abuse/assault, I'm not talking about those perpetrated just by family members, but by friends, acquaintances, partners, strangers.

The numbers for abuse and assault combined, even just for women under 30 (A LOT of women are sexually assaulted in college, for instance), are mind-boggling.

As for your question, sexual assault can have many different outcomes. Some survivors seek to reshape, or even recreate, their experiences. Some can't deal with sex at all. Some have healthy sex lives. Others are fine with sex for a time, and then become dysfunctional (or vice versa). I had a lot of trouble, got specialized therapy and got better, but it still affects me and has fundamentally changed me, sexually and otherwise.

 

[Somehowyou]

Wow Erica. I did not know you were a victim. I am sorry to hear that.

But back to stripping. If the OP lives in the USA I'd be careful about escorting due to LE. The problem with stripping is that you are out in the public and everyone is free to see you. According to some of the girls I know in Montreal, word gets back to friends and family pretty quick when you dance. Some escort to remain anonymous. I know of at least two girls that were outed to teir parents and quit for awhile. One came back. In the USA LE can make escorting extrememly difficult. I'd stick to dancing.