Get into stripping?

[Marie_Kitten]

I've been finding it hard to make ends meet at college and my job waitressing just isn't paying enough. I don't want to leave college with thousands of dollars of debt so I have been considering other options. How would I get into stripping? Has anyone else here done it professionally? Recomendations or advice?

 

[OzoneRed]

I can think of two (legal) ways to make money as a stripper. One way is to be the entertainment at private parties - bachelor parties, birthday parties, etc. The other way is to work at a strip club.

I'm not very familiar with the former. Most newspapers carry ads placed by strippers and "talent agencies" offering to work such parties. You might consider contacting one of those agencies.

I am familiar with strip clubs, as a customer. Step one would be to visit a few clubs, buy a few lap dances from the ladies (most ladies will be happy to do dances for ladies), buy a drink or two for the ladies and talk to them about the club, and basically check out the ambience. Next, most clubs run an "amateur contest" once or twice a month; enter one or two of those contests, just to see what it's like. And finally, of course, talk to club management about working there, what the hours would be, whether you need a license, whether you would be an employee or an independent contractor, etc.

I've known ladies who have danced their way through college. I've also known ladies who just couldn't handle it for more than one or two weeks, or less.

One final piece of advice: consider the effect on your career, whatever it will be, if ten years from now somebody recognizes you as a former stripper.

 

[subwannabe]

You may also want to consider the possibility that the place you go to could be part of the underworld of drugs and other such things, including prostitiution. They may be looking for strippers who don't mind going the extra mile. I'm not trying to knock these places but I'm sure there are better ones and not so good ones.

 

[RuReal]

I have never been in the business, but years ago at a club I ran into a woman that was going to the same school as I was. She recognized me, but I had not a clue who she was until I noticed her in the halls. In speaking to a stripper in Montreal I am not sure about this whole drug and extra mile thing she seemed to be into it for the money and loving it. She was making a great deal of money and only working a few months a year.

 

[AdjectiveNounVerb]

There's also waiting/bartending at a strip club as an option. I'm not sure how the pay for that compares to waiting elsewhere or to being the actual stripper, though.

 

[rosco rathbone]

Show us your assets and we'll make the determination as to the probable profitability of this venture for you.

 

[Christopher2012]

Show us your assets and we'll make the determination as to the probable profitability of this venture for you.

Just look at her posting history. She's has a nice body.

 

[NikiCole]

Bartending

I worked as a bartender at a very low end 'gentlemans' club. And I made quite a bit of money on a slow nite. So just imagine what the dancers make.
The best way to determine the atmosphere is to go to the ones you feel you might want to work at, on a busy nite as a patron. Talk to the dancers, and get a lap dance in the process.

 

[Marie_Kitten]

Thank you everyone for the input and advice! Subwannabe, thank you for the concern. I hope to never get into the darker side of stripping. And Christopher2012, thanks for the compliment.

 

[emap]

What they said and ask the man you speak to about working there. If sex is allowed he will tell you, in vague terms like being paid for sex is illegal but if you want to have some while in the room consenting adults are consenting adults. That means you can sell yourself in the private rooms and many customers will expect it.

Also, it is usually better if you at least know how to dance. If you don't dance, get your ass to a gym and do a dance aerobics or take a dance class. Stripping is different from regular dancing, and it isn't.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I've done a lot of counseling with women that have done this kind of work over the years. I've not heard one of them say it was work they enjoyed (other than the money). The work takes a toll on you. It's a rough scene. I haven't known any that ever escaped without some dabbling in drugs, at a minimum.

Granted, the women I've dealt with have loads of other problems as well. They aren't just having bad lives because of stripping. But I've never heard a girl say it positively affected their lives. Just consider the risk. Even if you are comfortable with it now, consider long term.

 

[SweetErika]

I've done a lot of counseling with women that have done this kind of work over the years. I've not heard one of them say it was work they enjoyed (other than the money). The work takes a toll on you. It's a rough scene. I haven't known any that ever escaped without some dabbling in drugs, at a minimum.

Granted, the women I've dealt with have loads of other problems as well. They aren't just having bad lives because of stripping. But I've never heard a girl say it positively affected their lives. Just consider the risk. Even if you are comfortable with it now, consider long term.

From what I gather, strippers and escorts/prostitutes almost always have a history of molestation, abuse, assault, etc., that was never addressed properly. I can see how that--usually in conjunction with things like a lack of a strong support system and/or financial pressures--can lead to seeking a job where they seem to have power/control over men and play the role of the user instead of the victim WRT getting men to part with a great deal of money. Given my own history, I can see the appeal of that idea, at least on a superficial level; deeper down I know I'd end up feeling way more used/victimized and it'd be easy to turn to drugs and such in an effort to push those feelings down.

Anyway, it's an interesting pathology and hopefully the risk factors are something Marie will consider carefully.

Marie, another thing to think about is how you'll likely feel getting traditional jobs after stripping. I've heard strippers and other female AND male sex workers express how difficult it can be to get out of the industry and transition to work where they make far, far less money for much longer hours. I'm sure it's very tough to go that far backwards income-wise when one doesn't have to. It seems like a lot of people figure they'll strip or whatever for a year or three to pay the bills, but then they have trouble exiting the industry when they've achieved that initial goal. And staying longer-term may very well be where many get sucked into the stuff they NEVER planned on doing when they first started. The longer you have a job like that, the more "normal" the environment and people become, and the tougher it can be to reintegrate into a more traditional environment.

 

[NightL]

Don't do it.

I have never been to a strip club - no appeal, but I have known strippers socially. Apparently most of the major clubs in my city switched to purchased token money. Any tips the strippers got had to be cashed in for real money at the end of their shifts. In other words they got very little. The days of big money for the performers, as I was told, was long gone. So in order to make some money the shifts became exceedingly long. Others turned to prostitution.

pmann and SweetErika were spot on with their observations and advice.

 

[Bramblethorn]

From what I gather, strippers and escorts/prostitutes almost always have a history of molestation, abuse, assault, etc., that was never addressed properly.

I suspect it varies from place to place, and between social strata. Researching this sort of stuff is HARD, because many people are reluctant to acknowledge either sex work or abuse. If the type of person who's willing to be open about a history of abuse is also more likely to be open about doing sex work, you can end up with a distorted picture of how sex workers compare to the rest of the population.

Even if we find that sex workers are more likely to have been abused, there's still a causation/correlation question: when A and B occur together, is that because A causes B, or are they perhaps both caused by some third factor C? (e.g. coming from impoverished and unstable families - this is a risk factor both for abuse, and for having difficulty finding alternative jobs.)

It doesn't help that the whole issue is highly politicised - there's a split between the branch of feminism that views sex work as an instrument of male oppression, and the branch that believes women should be allowed to make their own decisions about what to do with their bodies.

I suspect quite a few, at least in Australia, would object vocally to being portrayed as hapless victims of childhood trauma. Interesting journal here, although she hasn't updated in a few years (or not publicly): http://starlet-harlot.livejournal.com/8097.html

 

[klippert]

I've been finding it hard to make ends meet at college and my job waitressing just isn't paying enough. I don't want to leave college with thousands of dollars of debt so I have been considering other options. How would I get into stripping? Has anyone else here done it professionally? Recomendations or advice?

Talk with some of the woman that work there. Meet with the managers. Research the club. it may look dolled up on the outside...but the people running it are scum bags. They have the upper hand.... Even though some half-wit has wrote a book about a woman being dominated by a man.... This is real life.
I have two friends from college, took dance as an elective for there degrees in P.E. (physical education). With ulterior motives.
Not until after Graduation did they tell me, they were stripping on weekends and some week days. they both traveled to the west side of the state (Mich). We all though they went home, said they had part time jobs (both form the same town)

The club they worked for.... told them of a great deal. The owner, owned clubs in Myrtle Beach..... and silent owner in two golf courses..... two days they would beer cart....Three nights and one day they would shake it in his clubs..... Spring Break...
They raked it in. BUT....
They both said it was risky at moments... and they would never work unless the other was working... Hindsight.... they could believe the money... but won't do it again...

 

[NightL]

So Bramblethorn, are you saying you have actually mixed in circles where you have socialised or counselled people who have worked in this industry?

The point of this is a young person is considering working in an industry where many come out very bruised. I think SweetErika and pmann's advice is very sound.

Quite frankly turning this into an intellectual pontification will not help Marie.

 

[Eilan]

Quite frankly turning this into an intellectual pontification will not help Marie.

Perhaps not, but it's a refreshing break from the drivel that's overrun this board lately.

 

[Bramblethorn]

So Bramblethorn, are you saying you have actually mixed in circles where you have socialised or counselled people who have worked in this industry?

The point of this is a young person is considering working in an industry where many come out very bruised. I think SweetErika and pmann's advice is very sound.

Quite frankly turning this into an intellectual pontification will not help Marie.

And my point is that "many come out very bruised" is a sweeping generalisation. The stereotype that strippers & sex workers are damaged goods with an abusive daddy in their past is not helpful.

Undoubtedly some are. Others are confident women (and men) who do the job because they enjoy their work, and IME they tend to be tired of being patronised and pigeonholed by would-be "rescuers" who can't comprehend that a happy and healthy person might choose sex work.

Since you ask: I'm not a counsellor, but I've known several women who worked in various areas of adult entertainment. My ex's sister worked as a waitress in a "gentlemen's club" to pay her way through med school. A friend worked IT for a video porn company. One of the members of my medieval hobby group was a well-known pro-domme. And so on.

From what my IT friend told me, the video porn company was sleazy and misogynistic, and she was glad to leave it at the first opportunity. But the reason she was working there wasn't because of a history of abuse/desire to be in control of men/any of that psychoanalysis; she was there because she'd lost her previous job, needed to pay the bills, and they were hiring.

The others - confident, assertive women who enjoyed their work and didn't feel oppressed by it. I don't claim that's how it is everywhere in the world; I'm only pointing out that it's a bad idea to generalise.

 

[Lord Pmann]

The best person to talk to about stripping is not someone who is currently stripping. But someone who has been out of the game for a while. They will give you the best idea of the aftershock of everything. What to expect once you have to get a real job. Erika's advice was spot on about the transition to a real job. It will not be an easy transition.

 

[SweetErika]

And my point is that "many come out very bruised" is a sweeping generalisation. The stereotype that strippers & sex workers are damaged goods with an abusive daddy in their past is not helpful.

Undoubtedly some are. Others are confident women (and men) who do the job because they enjoy their work, and IME they tend to be tired of being patronised and pigeonholed by would-be "rescuers" who can't comprehend that a happy and healthy person might choose sex work.

I agree with you. Really, I do.

While I think there are A LOT of female performers (let's leave male strippers and escorts who only cater to women, plus male porn stars out of it for now) who have an abuse/assault/bad childhood history, there are certainly completely healthy, happy people who perform for a variety of reasons as well. And I'm absolutely NOT saying having such a history causes a person to get into that line of work; lord knows there are FAR more survivors than strippers, hookers, porn stars, etc.! We also both agree that there is usually a combination of factors - it's not a simple issue by any means. I AM saying history seems to be a factor or commonality in many cases, so it's something for anyone who's considering entering the industry to be mindful of.

There may be a cultural difference, too. Sex work on the whole is different in Oz, from what I understand. You have regulated brothels, universal healthcare, a pretty good lineup of social services, etc., right? Here, porn, prostitution and even stripping are not things that healthy women with good backgrounds typically get into. Sometimes they do, but usually not because there are so many stigmas, risks and a lack of support.

Personally, I think it'd be fantastic if all of those stigmas and risks disappeared/were addressed, but for now, the best someone who is considering getting into that type of work can do is be very honest with themselves regarding their history, risk factors, motivations, do some thorough research, make sure they have a support system/safety net in place, and proceed with caution if they do choose to work in the industry. I'd say the same for someone who was considering being a police officer, joining the military or get into ANY field that put their health at risk.

 

[RuReal]

I think while people are on the internet they should remember that they are dealing with a broad spread audience. Human behavior is different from place to place and what happens in your neck of the woods and for what ever reason is not the same everywhere in the world.

Social science is complex. I do tend to enjoy Sweet Erika's answers and while I agree with part of it I do not agree with the generalization of the type of people in the business. That is not to say it is not true, but I would say that I would like to see an area study first of where this person wants to perform her act.

North American's tend to have a very up tight view of sex and it seems to impact many aspects of our lives.

 

[Ellafun]

Hi, Marie...while I agree with a lot of the advice regarding researching your proposed choice for a way to pay your bills, the parent voice inside my head immediately asked, "Is there really no other job you could find to pay your bills??"

Don't get me wrong; before I got married, I got paid (very well, thank you) as a dancer (an exotic dancer...sort of stripping down to a skimpy outfit). The advantage was that my boyfriend (now husband) was completely aware of what I was doing, as were my parents and my friends.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there has to be a less provocative way for you to earn extra income without possible damage to your reputation down the line. People treat you a little differently when they find out that you once got paid to take off your clothes. Just a reality. My two cents.

 

[Bramblethorn]

There may be a cultural difference, too. Sex work on the whole is different in Oz, from what I understand. You have regulated brothels, universal healthcare, a pretty good lineup of social services, etc., right?

Yes, and I'm sure that has something to do with it. I won't pretend it's all roses here - there's still a sleazy side to the industry, with illegal brothels full of women shipped in from Asia on deals that amount to slavery. But it's not the only thing there is.

Re. Pmann's comments - I have a huge degree of respect for and gratitude to the counselling professions. My life would be a lot messier without the help of a couple of good counsellors in the rough patches. But I think we need to be very careful in generalising from counselling experience, because it presents a heavily skewed sample. Almost by definition, people who are happy and healthy aren't likely to walk into a counsellor's office.

(Also, speaking for myself as somebody who's seen several counsellors - clients do have a tendency to shape what they say according to the counsellor's expectations. If I get the impression that a counsellor is hostile to the idea of poly relationships, I'm probably not going to tell them that I'm in a reasonably functional poly relationship, because I'm tired of having the HEALTHY parts of my life pathologised at $100+/hr. So they end up seeing what they expected to see, one way or another.)

Personally, I think it'd be fantastic if all of those stigmas and risks disappeared/were addressed, but for now, the best someone who is considering getting into that type of work can do is be very honest with themselves regarding their history, risk factors, motivations, do some thorough research, make sure they have a support system/safety net in place, and proceed with caution if they do choose to work in the industry. I'd say the same for someone who was considering being a police officer, joining the military or get into ANY field that put their health at risk.

Absolutely in agreement!

I would add to that list: all these professions require a good degree of social smarts. Whether it's a stripper knowing the difference between a generous customer and a potential stalker, or a sex worker being able to pick the guy who's planning to slip off the condom when she's not looking, they need to know how to handle people.

 

[Marie_Kitten]

Woah, this thread exploded with debate and different points of view while I was away. I've posted this to try and figure out what is more; the positives or the negatives of stripping. Everyone has certainly given me a lot to think about and consider.

I haven't known any that ever escaped without some dabbling in drugs, at a minimum.

I have had a pretty strong stance on drugs my whole life so I don't think that part of stripping would be an issue.

From what I gather, strippers and escorts/prostitutes almost always have a history of molestation, abuse, assault, etc., that was never addressed properly. I can see how that--usually in conjunction with things like a lack of a strong support system and/or financial pressures--can lead to seeking a job where they seem to have power/control over men and play the role of the user instead of the victim WRT getting men to part with a great deal of money.

Thankfully, my exploring of this job has nothing to do with a bad past. I've had a normal upbringing with normal values and no abuse. I don't want control over men(I'm actually someone's submissive in a BDSM relationship currently). I am very comfortable in my sexuality and I don't see taking off my clothes as something unbearable. Considering this occupation is purely money based(as bad as that sounds). I am in my 1st year of graduate school, so I already have 3 years of debt and 4 more years to go. I want to be proactive about not leaving college with 100k in loans to pay off. I definately agree with your statement about reintigrating back into a normal job.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that there has to be a less provocative way for you to earn extra income without possible damage to your reputation down the line. People treat you a little differently when they find out that you once got paid to take off your clothes. Just a reality. My two cents

Thank you for your 2 cents, it is good hearing from someone who has been involved in stripping and how it has affected them. I've been waitressing and being paid okay, and after what you've said, along with everyone else's comments, I might consider just sticking to that. I'm not sure though. I think a lot of this occuptaion might be making sure its the right club and situation.

 

[Christopher2012]

I want to be proactive about not leaving college with 100k in loans to pay off. I definately agree with your statement about reintigrating back into a normal job.

Oh 100K in student loans? That's nothing. I have 200K.