Funny freaks who frolic among the ferns and let the fur fly

[PNWKitten]

Here is the original thread link. It started out as a personal and I realized I'd like a place to hang out and chat with others.

This is where I left off.....and go....

Ok let's discuss looks. What do you believe that the percentage is of people who miss out on that person they have a connection with based on the way one or the other looked?*

Have you ever met someone you weren't initially attracted to and fell for them anyway?

Or on the flip side have you ever been wildly attracted to somebody online and then when you saw them that attraction disappeared?

 

[rubenesque_princess]

Here is the original thread link. It started out as a personal and I realized I'd like a place to hang out and chat with others.

This is where I left off.....and go....

Ok let's discuss looks. What do you believe that the percentage is of people who miss out on that person they have a connection with based on the way one or the other looked?*

Have you ever met someone you weren't initially attracted to and fell for them anyway?

Or on the flip side have you ever been wildly attracted to somebody online and then when you saw them that attraction disappeared?

My guess is that percentage would depend, at least in part, on a person's age. Even as a teenager, though, I never seemed to be attracted to stereotypically attractive people. I had a roommate in college, though, who would only consider dating "hot guys," and many of them treated her like shit.

To be honest, I was not physically attracted to my husband at all when we first met. He was not remotely my type, at least not the physical type to which I was usually attracted. He was my type in many other respects, though. I was about a month into my freshman year of college and he was a senior when we met. When he ended up spending the night in my dorm room (bed--there was lots of alcohol involved) shortly after we met, he was respectful and didn't pressure me, and nothing aside from kissing and heavy petting occurred. Before the first time we had sex, I think he asked me a dozen times if I was sure and if I was okay with it.

The first month or so that we "dated," things often seemed like a comedy of errors. I am pretty sure he got more than he bargained for with me, but not all in a negative way. I always tease him that he seduced and took advantage of an innocent younger girl, and he just laughs. I am pretty sure he decided I was a keeper when I wore a dress without panties to class and brought him back to my room for a quickie between classes. He was easy to please.

When I talk with close girlfriends now about celebrities/men/things that I find attractive, they always shake their heads and ask how in the world my husband and I ended up together. We will be celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary in June, and while we've had our struggles, I am glad I did not let my initial physical impression of him rule my decisions.

 

[PNWKitten]

When I talk with close girlfriends now about celebrities/men/things that I find attractive, they always shake their heads and ask how in the world my husband and I ended up together. We will be celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary in June, and while we've had our struggles, I am glad I did not let my initial physical impression of him rule my decisions.

I really loved what you wrote, but this was my favorite part.
Happy almost anniversary.

 

[4215]

Opposites attract

My guess is that percentage would depend, at least in part, on a person's age. Even as a teenager, though, I never seemed to be attracted to stereotypically attractive people. I had a roommate in college, though, who would only consider dating "hot guys," and many of them treated her like shit.

To be honest, I was not physically attracted to my husband at all when we first met. He was not remotely my type, at least not the physical type to which I was usually attracted. He was my type in many other respects, though. I was about a month into my freshman year of college and he was a senior when we met. When he ended up spending the night in my dorm room (bed--there was lots of alcohol involved) shortly after we met, he was respectful and didn't pressure me, and nothing aside from kissing and heavy petting occurred. Before the first time we had sex, I think he asked me a dozen times if I was sure and if I was okay with it.

The first month or so that we "dated," things often seemed like a comedy of errors. I am pretty sure he got more than he bargained for with me, but not all in a negative way. I always tease him that he seduced and took advantage of an innocent younger girl, and he just laughs. I am pretty sure he decided I was a keeper when I wore a dress without panties to class and brought him back to my room for a quickie between classes. He was easy to please.

When I talk with close girlfriends now about celebrities/men/things that I find attractive, they always shake their heads and ask how in the world my husband and I ended up together. We will be celebrating our 18th wedding anniversary in June, and while we've had our struggles, I am glad I did not let my initial physical impression of him rule my decisions.

I know exactly what you are getting at . My first wife now deceased , were opposites physically she was a model I was a quiet sort of fella , we had 17 adventurous years together before she bailed for my ex business partner .
Inside three months I met my present wife , an effervescent character who even now keeps me on my toes , I'm not so quiet now had many discreet highly charged sexual liaisons but like you I'm often asked " what did your wife see in you " .
My point being it's not only looks that are the attraction many other things make the whole relationship work .
On here I'm at a disadvantage because of my age but believe me I'm still a workable proposition . Enjoy life folks it shorter than you think

 

[Spins]

Ok let's discuss looks. What do you believe that the percentage is of people who miss out on that person they have a connection with based on the way one or the other looked?*

Have you ever met someone you weren't initially attracted to and fell for them anyway?

Or on the flip side have you ever been wildly attracted to somebody online and then when you saw them that attraction disappeared?

My guess, and that all it is, would be that 90% of people have missed out on a connection based solely off of looks.

We're all guilty of it. Especially those of us using apps to date/meet people. The whole concept is to take brief look at a single photo and swipe yes, or not.

As for attraction. I have never fallen for anyone I was not attracted to at first. I have attempted to kindle something over a period of time because the person was, on paper anyway, a good fit, but when that initial attraction isn't there it is real hard for me to imagine that it'll ever simply show up.

And, technically I have met someone (or someones) from online who I thought there might be an attraction, but once I met them in person it was obvious there wouldn't be anything happening.

However, the folks I knew I was attracted to from our interactions online have always blown me away with how much more attractive they are in person.

 

[The_gladiator]

My guess, and that all it is, would be that 90% of people have missed out on a connection based solely off of looks.

We're all guilty of it. Especially those of us using apps to date/meet people. The whole concept is to take brief look at a single photo and swipe yes, or not.

As for attraction. I have never fallen for anyone I was not attracted to at first. I have attempted to kindle something over a period of time because the person was, on paper anyway, a good fit, but when that initial attraction isn't there it is real hard for me to imagine that it'll ever simply show up.

And, technically I have met someone (or someones) from online who I thought there might be an attraction, but once I met them in person it was obvious there wouldn't be anything happening.

However, the folks I knew I was attracted to from our interactions online have always blown me away with how much more attractive they are in person.

My lengthy reply was in the other thread, but just joining the conversation at the new address.
Evenin kitten.

 

[LikeableMe]

Here is the original thread link. It started out as a personal and I realized I'd like a place to hang out and chat with others.

This is where I left off.....and go....

Ok let's discuss looks. What do you believe that the percentage is of people who miss out on that person they have a connection with based on the way one or the other looked?*

Have you ever met someone you weren't initially attracted to and fell for them anyway?

Or on the flip side have you ever been wildly attracted to somebody online and then when you saw them that attraction disappeared?

Oh yes - I do believe that people miss out with people they connect really well with based on looks! But to put a percentage on it would be extremely difficult. I think how secure someone is with themselves is also a factor, as I’ve seen people drop someone they really cared about, just because people in their friendship group didn’t approve of them in some way!

Yes, I have met guys who I wasn’t initially attracted to, and later developed feelings for them. I find it very true that the outside is just “wrapping”, and what’s underneath is what counts. (I mean personality and heart - keep it clean, people!) ever met someone with stunningly good looks, only to discover an ugly personality? It changes the whole “look” of them. Falling for someone’s soul, their personality, makes them beautiful regardless of looks. When I care about someone, whether friends or more, I start to notice little things about them that I find cute.

I’m not someone who judges on looks at all. The best people I know aren’t perfect tens - no one can live up to that.

 

[PNWKitten]

My lengthy reply was in the other thread, but just joining the conversation at the new address.
Evenin kitten.

Hiya gladiator. Hope you had a good day.

I went and helped a friend finish up her nursery. Now I'm here listening to my dog whine non-stop. I'm going to need some alcohol or earplugs or something before I lose my ever loving mind!

 

[Spins]

Though maybe I don't need to say this.

Looks versus attraction are two very different things.

I think we are all guilty of using looks as a reason to dismiss someone. Attraction is far more than just looks, though.

There have been some stunning individuals who everyone and their Mom would agree look amazing. I was not attracted to them in the slightest!

 

[PNWKitten]

The initial question was actually brought up during a conversation I had this morning about looks and attraction. Somebody's type. Which led to the topic of have you ever not found someone attractive in the beginning but over time they've become more attractive to you.

Many years ago I worked with a guy that upon initial acquaintance I never gave him two thoughts course that's time I was with somebody else. Once me and the other guy broke up a few weeks later the guy at work asked me out. I thought it was too soon so at that point I said no and I told him why. By the next time he had asked me out after we had talked pretty much every day I had found him way more attractive and so I said yes. We ended up together for 3 years. So I think it's very possible to become attracted to somebody based on which likeable me said personality cute little behaviors the way they treat you your ability to communicate with each other. It all adds up into making the person beautiful or handsome.

 

[The_gladiator]

Hiya gladiator. Hope you had a good day.

I went and helped a friend finish up her nursery. Now I'm here listening to my dog whine non-stop. I'm going to need some alcohol or earplugs or something before I lose my ever loving mind!

It sucked like a Hoover but... it's improving in the evening

I got more unpacked

 

[PNWKitten]

It sucked like a Hoover but... it's improving in the evening

I got more unpacked

Sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. Glad it's improving. And hello.. yay for getting more unpacked.
I just got back from the dog park. Much calmer now!

 

[The_gladiator]

Sorry to hear that you are having a bad day. Glad it's improving. And hello.. yay for getting more unpacked.
I just got back from the dog park. Much calmer now!

That's good, got to wear the pups out so they chill out perhaps.

I totally think attraction is born so much more from many things other than look, especially for myself as other's have said also.

 

[SoulAssasin247]

Here is the original thread link. It started out as a personal and I realized I'd like a place to hang out and chat with others.

This is where I left off.....and go....

Ok let's discuss looks. What do you believe that the percentage is of people who miss out on that person they have a connection with based on the way one or the other looked?*

Have you ever met someone you weren't initially attracted to and fell for them anyway?

Or on the flip side have you ever been wildly attracted to somebody online and then when you saw them that attraction disappeared?

95%

I've met someone I had almost no attraction to, but fell in love with her. We were together for 5 years, but things changed. I will always love her, but not the same way. I also dated a couple of women I wasn't physically attracted to, but the connection was deep.


Not on LIT, but on different chatlines in the past. I didn't have a deep connection with them, only an attraction based on what I imagined them to be.

 

[PNWKitten]

Thanks for the answers. I appreciate the posts in my thread if nothing else. It seems hard to get for some reason.

 

[PNWKitten]

Ladies, how do you handle pushy men?

Men, how do you handle pushy ladies?

In addition. How do you each handle the rejection?

 

[The_gladiator]

Ladies, how do you handle pushy men?

Men, how do you handle pushy ladies?

In addition. How do you each handle the rejection?

Pushy women can be exciting.
I try myself not to be pushy but find that there are times that I fail.

Never been very good with rejection, either giving or receiving, but at least I recognize this as a weakness of mine. Maybe thats the first step to growth....

 

[Deleted member 1306910]

Ladies, how do you handle pushy men?

Men, how do you handle pushy ladies?

In addition. How do you each handle the rejection?

I basically assume from the first sighting that every woman I meet is not going to be attracted to me, or interested in getting to know me in that way.

So I don't let myself even let them know that I find them attractive. I mean, I'm sure that most know anyway, a woman knows. But I never say anything and try really hard to choke those feelings down and just see/treat her as one of the guys.

I get a lot less rejection these days, since I started doing that. I have had female friends who've had stalkers and have helped them get rid of the guy. Weirdly, it's almost never been some skinny/overweight nerdy dork who lives in his moms basement who stalks. It's the uber alpha male who thinks he has the right.

(disclaimer: I did not say what I said above for the purposes of self-pity, or to invite attack/debate on the issue. It is my rock hard, unshakeable truth and not up for discussion. )

 

[ratherabsurd1]

Wrong subject sorry

 

[ratherabsurd1]

I was married to one that was a bit pushy. I didn't fare well but I just kept to myself and she disappeared

 

[ratherabsurd1]

Here is the original thread link. It started out as a personal and I realized I'd like a place to hang out and chat with others.

This is where I left off.....and go....

Ok let's discuss looks. What do you believe that the percentage is of people who miss out on that person they have a connection with based on the way one or the other looked?*

Have you ever met someone you weren't initially attracted to and fell for them anyway?

Or on the flip side have you ever been wildly attracted to somebody online and then when you saw them that attraction disappeared?

Looks have never been a big thing for me. Personality rules. I think a lot of people miss out on a connection because of looks..

 

[Richard_C]

Many years ago I started a new job and was introduced to a young lady that was the assistant to the supervisor. She was busy working and a bit dismissive. I thought she was rude and self-absorbed. Over the course of the next few weeks I got to know her and really liked her. Then, our desks got moved around and we were right beside each other. I cracked her up all day every day and likewise. I started thinking, "this young lady is amazing!!" I developed a bit of a crush on her, but nothing ever came of it. I got a new job and she eventually moved to Georgia.


Recently, I was dating a young woman that is kind of out of my league. She's fit, gorgeous and successful. I was smitten. Well, things started slow, but once she got comfortable she went right to Stage 5 Clinger!! I wasn't ready for that! So, I got cold feet and squirmed out of it. We're still friends and talk often, but I sometimes kick myself. lol


I'm a special kind of messed up when it comes to relationships. lol

 

[frombehindyou]

Thought I'd kick the tire here and see if anyone was still chatting.

Happy Monday.

Kyle