Funniest Negative Comments?

[StillStunned]

are... are you ok? That's... a heinous accusation he leveled at you.

I'll be alright, I think. I can't let his words hurt me.

 

[MelissaBaby]

This is from a few hours ago. Didn't just strike me funny, but its on an LW story, one of the few positive comments on the story

K3vinGabout 5 hours ago
That's some sick shit. Loved it, 5 stars

My absolute favorite comment is this one for Queen of the Roller Derby.

"Fuck you, that was a beautiful story"

 

[BarracudaSwordfish]

Anonymous chewed me out the other day for a misplaced apostrophe in a possesive 'it's'.

A silly mistake, granted but I was utterly devastated when he declared me the worst author ever and he'd never read another word I've written or will write.

Just who's is the greater loss?

Or maybe whos i's the greater los's?

 

[MajorRewrite]

Fair enough!

 

[Stimtheone]

The qualification might come from being one of two, but someone posted on my story that it's funny and stupid while I was trying to tell a deeper story. Yes, it had its funny moments, but I felt like that guy was missing a point. Or hoped that they were thoroughly amused by the funny bits.

 

[AwkwardlySet]

My bombers are back, but this time they are also providing comments. It is fun

You could edit this down to 3-4 Lit pages, it's really bloated. Also, why are you skewing your comment total by providing half of them yourself to farm artificial engagement? And it's a repost? Why are you reposting it? Anyway, the writing is really mediocre.

Not bad, not great either. Kinda in the middle. The ratings on this site are all over the place though. This is a 4.9 and it's the worst written story I've read today. The others rated 4.1 or 4.0 are miles better than this.

It seems that trolling authors on Lit really means a lot in the lives of some people. The persistence and zeal... and to think it all came from calling one person entitled. Fascinating

 

[33RPMVinylPants]

I get my share of the "This reminds me of..." and they go into this long post about something they did with a family member. I now stop reading when I see that's where its going, and I tend to tell myself its just smoke, they never did anything, they're just telling their own little fantasy, the lit version of "Cool story bro"

They know they can just post their own story, right?

This site is free

 

[YDB95]

A comment on After the Party at Christmas...

Quit part way through
by Anonymous user on 12/22/2019
Sorry I just didn’t understand where you were going with this, if these people are pissed off with this woman treats them why not just cut her out of their lives?

If you read the story, you'll see why the comment is funny!

 

[StillStunned]

I got one on Flesh for Fantasy the other day that's mostly funny because it's left me absolutely stumped:

From a reader going by Trackpin:

Oil in the shower …

I don't know whether this is meant to be "She's all oiled up and glistening, hot!" or "What a crazy idea, who uses oil in the shower?"

 

[djrip]

I got one on Flesh for Fantasy the other day that's mostly funny because it's left me absolutely stumped:

From a reader going by Trackpin:

I don't know whether this is meant to be "She's all oiled up and glistening, hot!" or "What a crazy idea, who uses oil in the shower?"

Or, "this is the one with the oil in the shower.."

 

[mirafrida]

So many funny comments...


Like, uh, do you have some issues maybe you should take up with a therapist...?

How I hate wife stealing and girl stealing oily Academics. Reminds me of someone I wanted to kick the shit out of but I would never have graduated if I had done that and I would also have ended up in a cell.

A while back I took a stab at writing in the style of a Greek/Roman epic, unrhymed iambic hexameter, and posted it in NC/R where it probably belonged.
Ok, not for everyone, as evidenced by 3.8 score.
But I got a kick out of the comments:

This belongs in the poetry category. Couldn't even get myself to read it with this formatting. It doesn't even rhyme.

RE: "It doesn't even rhyme." XD XD XD Too funny! 𝄇

Alas you may be a little sophisticated for this site Mirafrida!

Some other gems...

This story is so unbelievably offensive I can't believe I read it.

Kinda feels like the author doesn’t understand reproductive organs very well.

I realise it's necessary for the plot, but sex in front of other people must surely be about as bad as sex can get. Seriously, it's just not a spectator sport.

This was just dirty people doing dirtier things.

 

[33RPMVinylPants]

Some other gems... "I realise it's necessary for the plot, but sex in front of other people must surely be about as bad as sex can get. Seriously, it's just not a spectator sport"

Please tell me that was in the "Exhibition/Voyeur" category

 

[AchtungNight]

“This story is too implausible.”

Somehow the reviewer missed my opening disclaimer that it was fanfiction.

“Erika Christensen is a Scientologist. You should not be her fan.”

She’s hot, skilled at acting, and you just made an ethical slut version of her a very interesting challenge to write by telling me a fact about her I did not know.

Later, the same fan who read the stories where I spoofed Passion of the Christ with Erika called them “freaking awesome”. Not sure he meant that as negative, but it still made me grin.

“Your version of Rogue is too detached from sex.”

Um, do you know nothing about Rogue the marvel character?

 

[Abdelkaoolomocro]

white straight racist chauvinist pig.

I am arab, bi, diversity mananger, muslim so certainly not a pig

 

[mirafrida]

Please tell me that was in the "Exhibition/Voyeur" category

Ok, that would have been even funnier. Sadly no. However, the story was tagged 'exhibitionism,' 'swingers,' and 'party,' so it wasn't like I was trying to be subtle...

 

[StillStunned]

A while back I took a stab at writing in the style of a Greek/Roman epic, unrhymed iambic hexameter,

Good, now I don't feel so geeky about working on my alliterative poetry!

 

[mirafrida]

Good, now I don't feel so geeky about working on my alliterative poetry!

Good.for you! I do not have a poetic soul, but ive learned that poetic form is fun to write. I can see why humans have tended to favor it through most of history.

 

[StillStunned]

Good.for you! I do not have a poetic soul, but ive learned that poetic form is fun to write. I can see why humans have tended to favor it through most of history.

Alliterative poetry is great for narration. It's a very muscular use of language, very rhythmic. Rap could be seen as its direct descendent. I'm experimenting with seeing how it works for erotica.

For those who don't know, alliterative poetry is the form Old English and many Middle English poems are written in. It uses four stressed syllables per line, in which one or more of the first, second and fourth syllable needs to alliterative with the third. The songs of the Riders of Rohan from the Lord of the Rings are alliterative poetry:

Arise now, arise, Riders of Théoden!
Dire deeds awake: dark is it eastward.
Let horse be bridled, horn be sounded!

JRRT's edition of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is still, as far as I know, the definitive version. It's also alliterative. (And it's pronounced GAH-wain, not Ga-WAIN.)

 

[SimonDoom]

JRRT's edition of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight is still, as far as I know, the definitive version. It's also alliterative. (And it's pronounced GAH-wain, not Ga-WAIN.)

I remember reading it in high school, and my high school English teacher said the same thing about the pronunciation. But I hear Ga-WAIN used much more often.

 

[Male4Strapon]

I had one reader's review lecture on the dangers of unprotected sex, because I didn't include the character wearing a condom.

I'm sure that person doesn't get invited to many parties.

 

[StillStunned]

I remember reading it in high school, and my high school English teacher said the same thing about the pronunciation. But I hear Ga-WAIN used much more often.

You can tell how it's pronounced from the alliteration. The spelling sometimes changes to Wawain to alliterate with W words.

Also, it's essentially the same name as Gavin and Kevin.

 

[SimonDoom]

I had one reader's review lecture on the dangers of unprotected sex, because I didn't include the character wearing a condom.

I'm sure that person doesn't get invited to many parties.

You can't win with all readers on the condom/no-condom thing. You'll get complaints either way. Raise the issue of condoms, or any kind of precaution or protection, and some will say they don't belong in an erotic story.

 

[Male4Strapon]

You can't win with all readers on the condom/no-condom thing. You'll get complaints either way. Raise the issue of condoms, or any kind of precaution or protection, and some will say they don't belong in an erotic story.

Really? I didn't know that was a thing and thought it was just a random weirdo.
I don't get how they fail to realize that it's fiction.

 

[SimonDoom]

I don't get how they fail to realize that it's fiction.

Nobody gets it, but it's a very real phenomenon here.

 

[Zootonius]

I had one reader's review lecture on the dangers of unprotected sex, because I didn't include the character wearing a condom.

I'm sure that person doesn't get invited to many parties.

Got that also. A female college professor who enjoys sampling the student body. Must be hard for them to watch movies, unable to suspend disbelief for a bit.