Funniest Negative Comments?

[onehitwanda]

I've often wondered if the account is an alt of an author -or someone who ghosts this forum-and the review is based on how he feels about the author rather than the story

I've had both extremely positive and extremely caustic reviews from him/her.

 

[AchtungNight]

Porn site trolls often forget- when it comes to their fictional universes, the author is God.

 

[Zootonius]

I've had both extremely positive and extremely caustic reviews from him/her.

Sounds like a caricature of a newspaper theater critic who sees himself as some capricious, Olympian god.

 

[lc69hunter]

This was on an essay I wrote, about women being able to compartmentalize affairs better than men.

" This douchebag is delusional. How can you possibly think that you are a "gentleman instead of an asshole" when you purposefully fuck around on your wife with married women? You are the epitome of scumbaggery.
Your truly,
Mr Eatmy Colon"

Funny thing is, I never mentioned fucking around on my wife with married women, though I did say that I had slept with many married women.

 

[Duleigh]

This was on an essay I wrote, about women being able to compartmentalize affairs better than men.

" This douchebag is delusional. How can you possibly think that you are a "gentleman instead of an asshole" when you purposefully fuck around on your wife with married women? You are the epitome of scumbaggery.
Your truly,
Mr Eatmy Colon"

Funny thing is, I never mentioned fucking around on my wife with married women, though I did say that I had slept with many married women.

He probably thought your stories were true-to-life
Now my story where everything in that story is based on something that really exists, he thinks is bad fantasy.
And that's what Uff da is all about.

 

[AchtungNight]

The character Dave Shaw, who appears in my works Inside Out and The Rendezvous, is based on celebrity gossip trolls I’ve known. He calls Alicia Witt out for her snobbery and Keira Knightley out for her boyish figure. Neither fact keeps the protagonists of my works from getting turned on by Alicia and Keira. Dave is a terrible person, but a fact of life. I have other troll characters too.

 

[lovecraft68]

I've had both extremely positive and extremely caustic reviews from him/her.

Maybe they have a love hate relationship with you

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

This schlemiel idiot confused me with the character.

by Anonymous user on 03/01/2023
pretty sure you don't understand the meaning of "whore" since that is exactly what you are. Make sure your next boyfriend knows you probably have several STD's!

 

[Duleigh]

This schlemiel idiot confused me with the character.

It looks like OverlyCritical learned how to spell Anonymous

 

[onehitwanda]

This schlemiel idiot confused me with the character.

wow. wow.

 

[Duleigh]

This schlemiel idiot confused me with the character.

I hope you're not short, my troll hates short women and said so in the message he left me.

 

[theWollstonecraftWoman]

wow. wow.

I've been told that shit happens.

 

[33RPMVinylPants]

He's also supposed to be around 90 years old, yet he's still flinging out nasty comments fairly regularly.

well, everyone needs a hobby

 

[Smuttyandfun]

well, everyone needs a hobby

True. But I wish he'd find another one.

 

[Fatdog25]

I would be okay with it if they were at least as funny as these guys...

 

[Duleigh]

Hilarious! I mean, how’s a poor author suppose to “give the people what they want” when they all want different things?

Just title it "A Blizzard in Buffalo"
It works for me

 

[EmilyMiller]

Despite what I say above, I got a classic Loving Wives comment from that brave soul Anonymous today.

This was on Harper’s Reckoning:

I gave it 1 star. I get pissed off when authors purposefully use miss leading story tags and put their stories into the wrong categories. The ending didn’t work for me because the plot was given away by the way the author started the story. She only gave a physical description of the main character and not her spouse which meant the spouse was female. Ok the ladies are all lesbians how do we try to make a lame story better? I know let’s add BDSM or some other fetish to spice it up! This story seemed like it was written by a group of teenagers starting with an idea then trying to one up each other with more outrageous ideas till all your left with stupidity

Not backing into an assessment of the story based on their homophobia whatsoever of course.

How dare I pollute his pristine heterosexual world with my deviancy. I’m chastened.

I am coming round to the opinion that a significant minority of LW is also just anti-sex. Which is a bit odd given the nature of the site.

Em

 

[onehitwanda]

Despite what I say above, I got a classic Loving Wives comment from that brave soul Anonymous today.

This was on Harper’s Reckoning:



Not backing into an assessment of the story based on their homophobia whatsoever of course.

How dare I pollute his pristine heterosexual world with my deviancy. I’m chastened.

I am coming round to the opinion that a significant minority of LW is also just anti-sex. Which is a bit odd given the nature of the site.

Em

Bad Em. Naughty Em. Sounds like you need a spanking, Em.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Bad Em. Naughty Em. Sounds like you need a spanking, Em.

You can never have too many spankings.

Em

 

[ElectricBlue]

You write a story with "lipstick" in the title, and someone reads it and says:

Anonymous about 7 hours ago
Lipstick? That’s not my fetish thanks. A bit too far fetched for my liking. An attempt to be different. Not sure you pulled it off.

I wonder why he read it, then, if it was a complete waste of his time? This is why you should never try to cater to "all readers" when you write.

 

[Duleigh]

You write a story with "lipstick" in the title, and someone reads it and says:

Anonymous about 7 hours ago
Lipstick? That’s not my fetish thanks. A bit too far fetched for my liking. An attempt to be different. Not sure you pulled it off.

Am I missing something? Is there a new kink involving lipstick that has appeared in that past 70 years? If so, how far fetched is it? (Picturing a black and white 25 year old Katherine Hepburn putting on scarlet red lipstick)

 

[NoTalentHack]

Just got this on Also-Ran, a story where the wife never actually has a physical affair:

Back to non-erotic and romance, this whole section has slid irretrievably into RAAC Dementia.

 

[Euphony]

Am I missing something? Is there a new kink involving lipstick that has appeared in that past 70 years?

All I know of is the parent feared "rainbow parties" which felt as reality based as the Devil panic in the 80s.

I don't like the substance of these type comments but I do like the occasional reminder readers bring their own baggage sometimes and, no matter how well you write, you can't do anything about it.

 

[lovecraft68]

You write a story with "lipstick" in the title, and someone reads it and says:


Am I missing something? Is there a new kink involving lipstick that has appeared in that past 70 years? If so, how far fetched is it? (Picturing a black and white 25 year old Katherine Hepburn putting on scarlet red lipstick)

If you're a big fan of blow job porn, lipstick can be a big part of it, especially when smearing along the shaft and tip.

I think when I discovered there are guys who have a thing for women's armpits I decided that no matter what it is, its someone's fetish.

That and when one of my wife's friends talked about having an ex boyfriend who liked to cover her feet in green Jello(had to be green) then masturbate while he sucked it out from between her toes.

 

[AchtungNight]

You write a story with "lipstick" in the title, and someone reads it and says:


Am I missing something? Is there a new kink involving lipstick that has appeared in that past 70 years? If so, how far fetched is it? (Picturing a black and white 25 year old Katherine Hepburn putting on scarlet red lipstick)

Lipstick on a mirror or piece of paper used to write a love letter is a trope in romance fiction. Lipstick stains on a handkerchief or neck can be shown as evidence of a hookup. I myself have used lipstick marks on a woman’s thighs to indicate another woman has recently given her oral pleasure.