Fuckbuddies

[Firesprite]

Is it a bad idea to fall in love with your fuck buddy?

How do you let them know you're interested without destroying the friendship?

We've been friends for 7 years, and for 4 of those we have occasionally got together when neither of us had anyone else. It was all strictly friends when there was anyone else on the scene, but.. well.. I'd appreciate it if I could have your opinion...

 

[nasty1]

I'd say, why not just go steady, and, make it official?

 

[Debbie]

*bump* and hi to Firesprite.

 

[QuickDuck]

Is it a bad idea to fall in love with your fuck buddy?

How do you let them know you're interested without destroying the friendship?

We've been friends for 7 years, and for 4 of those we have occasionally got together when neither of us had anyone else. It was all strictly friends when there was anyone else on the scene, but.. well.. I'd appreciate it if I could have your opinion...

Is it just me or does this often seem like a natural progression?

"friends with fringe bennifits" as a 'friend' of mine use to call it

 

[GuyJD]

Is that all? Hell, my fuck buddy told me that she wanted us to get married and have my children.

 

[Freya]

If you're friends for 7 years, just talk to her. If she's not interested, it shouldn't ruin things as long as you can still keep things separate. My buttheaded fwb told me he loved me a few weeks back, potentially making a huge mess, but since I like the sex so much, I'm able to just put it aside and write it off as pillow talk for now.

 

[Lost Cause]

The comfort of a familiar caress....

I think alot of times, it's the safety/security of the togetherness. With the twisted people we run into "out there," the calm of any stable companionship appears like heaven. It takes two for it to work, and if you have misgivings, it is off to a rough start. Following your instincts, this shouldn't effect your FB workouts.

 

[bknight2602]

Hell I'd just like to have a fuck buddy!

 

[SpiceCake]

Hell I'd just like to have a fuck buddy!

Same here!

 

[takingchances42]

If you've been friends for seven years and fuck buddies for four years (albeit occasionally), then you are already way ahead of the game.

Why not just ask him? As long as you keep it casual and friendly, I don't see the harm...

 

[PepperminTrish]

It doesn't matter if it's a good idea or a bad idea if you've already fallen in love with them. If you have, then I'd go ahead and tell them. I don't think I could continue and hide something like that. If you haven't, then why worry about it. You've been friends for that long and enjoy the 'fringe benefits' when you're both available, there's nothing wrong with that as long as it continues to be what you both want.

 

[PepperminTrish]

If you're friends for 7 years, just talk to her. If she's not interested, it shouldn't ruin things as long as you can still keep things separate. My buttheaded fwb told me he loved me a few weeks back, potentially making a huge mess, but since I like the sex so much, I'm able to just put it aside and write it off as pillow talk for now.

Freya ........... dumb question here.
What's 'fwb'?
Obviously you're talking about a fuck buddy but the 'w' has me stumped.
(I'm going to look like an idiot for asking, aren't I? )

 

[Guest]

I need a fuck buddy badly as well...

 

[JerseyBoy]

A fuckbuddy?

That's such a weird concept to me as I could never picture having such a realtionship, even years ago when I would have been into such a thing. If I were to have sex with someone on a continuous basis (intervals non withstanding) there would have to be something that attracts me to them.

And if that were the case I would want to be with them all the time...I wouldn't be able to help it

But after 7 years I would hope you two would have some sort of understanding of your feelings towards one another, probably stronger one than either of you can admit.

If you wait too long the other may find someone perminent and you will be heartbroken.

Perhaps its time to talk...

 

[Wiggles]

I'm not sure. But I do know that it's a bad idea to have a fuck buddy that you've been in love with.

It sounds to me like you won't be having much fun if you don't tell them. There would be a point where you'd stop getting what you need emotionally. I'd lay it on the table and if they're a good enough friend you won't lose that friendship even if it's something they don't want.

You might end up losing a fuck every once in awhile, but you might gain an actual lover. Would you be happy settling for just sex when you love this person? I think that's what you would be doing if you didn't tell her/him.

Are you ready for a relationship, even if it isn't with this person?

 

[Black_Bird]

What's 'fwb'?

Friends with Benefits.

Its a nicer way of saying "Fuck Buddy."

 

[PepperminTrish]

Friends with Benefits.

Its a nicer way of saying "Fuck Buddy."

Oh sheeeshhh, that was so obvious, wasn't it???

Thanks Black_Bird ............ I just knew that I was going to feel silly when I got the answer.

 

[FallenSeraph]

It's never wrong to fall in love...that is if the other doesn't feel the same way and if you aren't recieving the same signals...why ruin a good thing?


P.S. Wish I had one *sigh*

 

[Guest]

I'd say, why not just go steady, and, make it official?

Yes. Take a chance. Take a Take a Take a chance on me - Abbababa

 

[Freya]

Re: A fuckbuddy?

That's such a weird concept to me as I could never picture having such a realtionship, even years ago when I would have been into such a thing. If I were to have sex with someone on a continuous basis (intervals non withstanding) there would have to be something that attracts me to them.

That's the whole point of a fwb...you have that level of caring, trust and, although not love, it's a friendship. And since you actually know and like the person, as compared to just picking someone up and fucking them, the sex is that much better.

 

[Allexus_TN]

My fuck buddy decided that when our feelings got stronger, it was too complicated.

 

[mbig406]

Hell I'd just like to have a fuck buddy!

Amen BK!!

 

[VeryBadGirl]

You all are making fuckbuddies sound BETTER than BFs or GFs.

I always thought a fuckbuddy was somebody that was good to fuck, but that they (or you) had some bad trait that made a relationship undesireable. I had a fuckbuddy back in the day, and his bad trait was that he was ridiculously stupid. I had another one who was just too stuck on himself and I knew he'd never be faithful. Both were good to fuck, both wanted more from me but I wasn't interested.

So I guess I've put fuckbuddies in the category of "somebody to use for sex."

And my opinion is: if you want to be more than friends with somebody you're fucking, and they don't, you're being used for sex. In which case, you should definitely confront the issue. She'll (are you a guy?) either say she feels the same way (good) or that she just wants to fuck you, in which case, you are being used. UNLESS it's good enough for you to just be used, in which case, whatever.

 

[takingchances42]

And my opinion is: if you want to be more than friends with somebody you're fucking, and they don't, you're being used for sex. In which case, you should definitely confront the issue. She'll (are you a guy?) either say she feels the same way (good) or that she just wants to fuck you, in which case, you are being used. UNLESS it's good enough for you to just be used, in which case, whatever.

Why does a word with negative connotations like "used" have to be associated with sex? If both you and your friend are giving and getting pleasure out of a fuckbuddy relationship, then what is the problem? Sure, I prefer sex within a romantic relationship, almost all of us do. But if that is not happening in your life at the time, then being sexual with a friend is sharing one of the great pleasures in life, it is not "being used." In my opinion.

 

[VeryBadGirl]

You couldn't be more right, TC42, but this guy wants more than sex from his fuckbuddy. He is not satisfied with just the fucking - he is falling in llllloooovvvveeee. The other party is no longer just a fuckbuddy or even a friend - she is a love interest.

And if she only wants to fuck, and he wants more, I think he's being used. see what I mean?