Frustrated... Two subs together!

[petboy]

There arent many people in my area into bdsm. There are two males local, im not gay or anything but they are. One of them I let do a little bondage on me, he is pretty cool but better to just talk to. The other is only into spanking and seems a little crazy becaus all he talks about is wanting to spank me until I cry. He even offered to pay me to do that. Of course I put him on ignore. Neither one of them are really what I am trying to find. lol. I would mabey do some with a guy but they will have to keep their pants on.

I did meet one girl thank god who IMed me online. We talked and have about the exact same intrests in bdsm but the problem is we are both submissive. After further getting to know each other and then trying something later on it went a little like this.

me- what do you want to do?
(hopeing she will take charge)
her- up to you.
(hopeing I will take charge)
me- i asked you, anything you want
(hopeing she will take charge finially)
her- you tell me, whatever you want.
me-anything in mind
her-TELL ME

I dont like to dom, i said screw it and ended up doing it a little bit becaus she was more stubborn then I was. But it sucks.

 

[curiousjen]

That is really pants for you. It must be horrendously frustrating. Have you tried the BDSM personals sites like collarme and alt.com? They have been useful for a few people here, but as I understand it sometimes it can be harder for a male submissive to find a PYL (pick your label) than for a female submssive to find the same. But still, it could be worth a shot.

 

[shy slave]

There arent many people in my area into bdsm. There are two males local, im not gay or anything but they are. One of them I let do a little bondage on me, he is pretty cool but better to just talk to. The other is only into spanking and seems a little crazy becaus all he talks about is wanting to spank me until I cry. He even offered to pay me to do that. Of course I put him on ignore. Neither one of them are really what I am trying to find. lol. I would mabey do some with a guy but they will have to keep their pants on.

I did meet one girl thank god who IMed me online. We talked and have about the exact same intrests in bdsm but the problem is we are both submissive. After further getting to know each other and then trying something later on it went a little like this.

me- what do you want to do?
(hopeing she will take charge)
her- up to you.
(hopeing I will take charge)
me- i asked you, anything you want
(hopeing she will take charge finially)
her- you tell me, whatever you want.
me-anything in mind
her-TELL ME

I dont like to dom, i said screw it and ended up doing it a little bit becaus she was more stubborn then I was. But it sucks.

I am in a relationship but I have a male sub friend and we have had those kind of conversations, the difference being we end up giggling like crazy and imagining all kinds of weird and wonderful scenes where no-one does anything because we can't decide who will start or do what when.

Petboy I am sure its frustrating for you but at least you have someone to discus openly the things you like at why you like them.

 

[h_i_s]

i know i could never Dom/top anyone. i'm submissive to the core and would bore and frustrate myself & any other if i HAD to Dom/Top anyone.

It's been said so many times in this forum .... get out into the real world if you can, so as to expand upon the possibilities of meeting others. IE: Attend Munches, Fetish Clubs etc

In searching for compatible people online who are local to me, the sites which i personally found most useful: collarme.com , & craigslist.com. You'll get ALOT of responses. Unfortunately you'll have to weed through them all to find anyone with good intentions, worth hooking up with.

As with any site, you WILL have to carefully pick through the wankers (men & women who resort to deception in the hopes of gaining nudie photos to 'wank off' to) ...
and the creapers (men & women who are sneaking around behind their spouses'/So's backs... IE: cheaters) ...
and the fakers (men & women who will initially CLAIM to be looking for face to face interactions, but are actually stringing others along in the hopes of initiating nudie cam sessions & other acts of cybersex-mutual-masturbation-silliness)...
and wannabes (men & women who THINK they know who they are and what they want .. and in the long run have no real clue, and/or find themselves mistaken .... yet, desperately THINK they are/ or want to be ... PLYs/pyls) ...
and the posers (men who claim to be women & women who claim to be men ... people claiming to be straight who turn out to be bi-fem or bi-males, gay or lesbian, or transvestites .... people who claim to be bi-males/bi-fems, gay or lesbian or tranvestites who claim to be straight and/or 'natural' men/women ... people who claim to be height & weight proportionate and turn out to be 4'9" and 225 lbs ... women who claim to be DD cups who are actually AA's (or pretty girls who are actually NOT) and used stolen photos they found on the net to make you believe otherwise... & men who will claim to be packing that 10" of cock (or attractive yet are actually NOT) in the photo they emailed you which is actually a photo they found on the net to make you believe otherwise ...

There are more wankers, creapers, fakers, wannabes, & posers than there are honest, people with good intentions roaming the various personal sites & chat rooms across the internet. Proceed with open eyes, and open minds, and great care & common sense in weeding through the losers while seeking what you desire.

collarme.com & craiglist are both free & are my top two choices (there could be others i might like as well, i haven't tried them ALL).

collarme allows search of members by location, sex, age, weight, orientation by sex, sub/Dom/Domme/switch, sexual orientation (bi, lesbian, straight etc), and search of profiles with or without photos.

craigslist.com allows for ads placed for men seeking men, women seeking men, men seeking women, women seeking women, couples seeking men, men and women or just women ... and are categorized by what is being sought such as casual NSA (no strings attached), friendship, etc ect ... ads are placed and displayed to an audience according to location, and are listed by date

 

[graceanne]

. . .people who claim to be height & weight proportionate and turn out to be 4'9" and 225 lbs ...

*gasp* How'd you find out?

 

[Cherrysweetdeal]

I can understand how being without a Dom would make things frustrating. I myself am not even Dom enough to get myself off sadly and I depend on my now dominant boyfriend. We're just starting into certain things and I'm hoping it will work and I will have someone to depend on for certain desires I cannot do for myself.

Nothing is better then a bite on the neck when your just about to orgasm....
Cherry

 

[caela]

me- what do you want to do?
(hopeing she will take charge)
her- up to you.
(hopeing I will take charge)
me- i asked you, anything you want
(hopeing she will take charge finially)
her- you tell me, whatever you want.
me-anything in mind
her-TELL ME

OMG I have to say this had me laughing for nearly 10 minutes. It looks almost exactly like some of the conversations my best friend (also a submissive) and I have. In the end I usually end up making the decision because she can usually outstubborn me on not making one. Every now and then though I just give a really frustrated look and she makes a really quick decision and I can just see her praying she made an o.k. choice. It's pretty amusing so I sometimes do it to her just for a laugh.

 

[Netzach]

I dont like to dom, i said screw it and ended up doing it a little bit becaus she was more stubborn then I was. But it sucks.

Heh.

I'd say you did get dominated then.

 

[petboy]

Heh.

I'd say you did get dominated then.

I guess I did. lol

 

[petboy]

wow, collerme.com is an awsome site. Ive got responded back to 4 out of 4 sent emails already. I tried posting an online line a few years ago but I didnt have much luck. that site is awsome, thanx.

I cant find craiglist.com btw. It goes to some porn sites.

 

[The Mutt]

This reminds of a joke:
The sadist and the masochist hooked up.
The sadist tied the masochist to the bed....
and went out for a beer.

 

[Snoozebutton2]

Nice to see a fellow Palmetto State resident. I do wish you luck.

 

[Softouch911]

Question for the board, since I don't have any idea if this would work -- would petboy and his sub female friend have any better chances if they were to pair up in their search for a Dom/me, offering themselves as a submissive pair? Does this ever happen?

My suspicion is that I'll hear that the D/s relationship is so individual that it is next to impossible to find a Dom/me who would be able to work with a couple.

 

[petboy]

UPDATE: lol, I dont think this internet meeting at collarme.com is going to work. Either the ladey I send a message to is married or has a boyfriend and wants him in on it in some way and dosent fully answer what his role is suppose to be which is wierd or they just want a bdsm 'talk' buddy.

Or they want me to pay them which isnt going to happen. Thats kind of like an escort service which can be real shadey practices and im not getting caught up in any kind of mess like that.

 

[Seduce]

UPDATE: lol, I dont think this internet meeting at collarme.com is going to work. Either the ladey I send a message to is married or has a boyfriend and wants him in on it in some way and dosent fully answer what his role is suppose to be which is wierd or they just want a bdsm 'talk' buddy.

Or they want me to pay them which isnt going to happen. Thats kind of like an escort service which can be real shadey practices and im not getting caught up in any kind of mess like that.

Dont be hasty.
You wouldnt try to have sex (you may try but I doubt you will get it) in first hour of your first date, would you?
Internet relationships sometimes take more time than nonvirtual ones.
Just be patient and resolute and I am sure you will find what you are looking for.

 

[MechaBlade]

me- what do you want to do?
(hopeing she will take charge)
her- up to you.
(hopeing I will take charge)
me- i asked you, anything you want
(hopeing she will take charge finially)
her- you tell me, whatever you want.
me-anything in mind
her-TELL ME

I swear to god that I was going to write a (humourous) story about two submissives that goes like that.

I feel for you. Me trying to cyber with a domme would be as fun as me trying to flirt with a man.

Anyway, got her number?

 

[petboy]

It looks like I did speak a little soon. I found someone who I feel comfortable talking to now where before everyone I talked to had strings attached, wanted me to pay for whatever, or had some wierd situation like a husband. This one seems pretty cool, its just she lives an hour and a half away but she goes to college down here for 8 months out of the year and we will probabily get up then. She comes to town augest 8th. She seems to want about the same out of a d/s relationship as I do, plus she is a blond and has that sexy sorority girl accent.

 

[onceburned]

Petboy, I understand the difficulty of meeting someone in a conservative area. But hang in there... it is only a matter of time. Collarme shows nine dominant women aged 21-30 in South Carolina who have visited in the past month.

But your best bet might be to attend the munch of a local BDSM group. Its as easy as going out to dinner, and it appears there are groups in Charleston, Columbia, Greenville, Myrtle Beach and at Clemson University. You can get more information on these groups at: http://www.t3wd.org/index3.html

 

[petboy]

Dont be hasty.
You wouldnt try to have sex (you may try but I doubt you will get it) in first hour of your first date, would you?
.

It usually takes at least 3-5 hours for that.






j/k

 

[petboy]

Well I am talking to and most likely going to meet two girls at some point. I guess I spoke to soon when I said that site wasent working.

One is 19 from NC but attends college down here in columbia, sc where im at dureing the school year. She is really into bdsm, our fantasies are pretty much the same. She talks, acts, and has the same ideas I would want a mistress to have. We have been talking on the phone and on aol alot and she invited me to come up to her house to meet and hang out this weekend. I dont know how my work schedual is but ill probabily spend one day this weekend up there.

The other lives like 5 minutes down the road from me which I think is pretty awsome. I didnt expect someone in the same city, muchless on the same street. It freaked me out. Only thing is I dont know how deep she gets into the d/s thing. It dosent appear much. I want whoever im in a relationship with to really be into it. But we will see. Its prefered and defiently a plus. It dosent appear she is into it very much, just some lite switch bondage is all she talks about.