From Slave to Master

[ChillyWilly]

I have always been attracted to bondage and domination, but have never pictured myself as being the dominant one.

My boyfriend, very special to me, has expressed that he wants to be dominated. I want to fulfill his fantasies...I'm just not sure how to go about dominating someone! I need to have a plan in mind! I've tried before, but just don't naturally fall into that role.

I think once I get going I will be as bad as I want to be...any suggestions on getting started? Basic command/punish scenarios???

I've never been dominated...not really. So I can't just "put the shoe on the other foot".

Help!

 

[Guest]

Start off by asking your boyfriend what sort of interests he has in D/s. What turns him on? How far does he want to take it. Once you have an answer it'll be easier for you to pursue. Since you said you have a natural liking for the more sub side, it may be difficult for you to become a true (or good) Dom. Don't feel bad. Sometimes we have to stick with what CUMS naturally to us! Good luck in your conquests!!


~Tiggs~

 

[Greg Lee Hunt]

I agree with Tiggs, you and your boyfriend need to talk about his interests first. Once you understand what he wants and expects, think of what follows as a game or as play acting. If you think of what you're about to do as a 'role' then you can lay out a scenario, memorize your lines, and rehearse them. Play off of each other!!

The point that I'm trying to make is that it will become easier if you just allow yourself to 'get into it'. Experiment and find out what works for you and for him. You might find that you like it!

One last piece of advice, when you start to play, listen to him. Ask him questions. Is he enjoying it? What else does he want you to do to him? (this can be done as part of the game -- i.e. as his Mistress you can interrogate him -- and make him tell you what he wants done.) Then you decide whether, under what circumstances, when and how you will do this. Whatever you do tease him and make him earn what he wants done. D/s is as much a mind game as it is physical, sometimes what you say or the ideas you plant can be as or more important than what you actually do. Most importantly, know when to stop and what you and your boy friends limits are. Agree on them before you start. A good D/s relationship is built on trust. Good luck!

[This message has been edited by Greg Lee Hunt (edited 06-04-2000).]

 

[Guest]

Well said GLH! Are you Dom by any chance?
~giggle~

 

[Guest]

After you've asked questions and figured out what you both want, it's time to play! If you know of a specific fantasy he has, try acting it out with props and costumes.

As a natural sub (who can dom when desired), I don't much care for foul language during a scene. I like my dom to be well-spoken and able to tell me exactly what their going to do. Not "I'm going to tie you up and do you", but more like "I'm going to tie you up so that you are completely helpless. Go ahead. Struggle. See? You can't get free. Now I'm going to punish you for being a brat. I'm going to take this ____ and _____ your ____ with it..." (You and your boyfriend fill in the blanks.) But maybe your boyfriend likes to hear dirty words. Whatever you guys like is fine, but that's my input. Oh, and one more thing. I love doms who are creative. They make it up as the go along. They can think of new ways to tie me up, new toys to use and how to use them. While it's cool to get suggestions from other people, rememeber that this isn't school. You won't be tested on the subject, so you can do whatever you want. Have fun!

 

[Budokan]

Just go full bore into it. Tie him up, smack his balls with a plastic spoon, drip hot wax on his nipples or anything else he wants. Who knows? Maybe you'll enjoy it and open up what was heretofore a closed aspect of your life.

 

[Endlessly]

Speaking as a Sswitch..

..One of the best BDSM resources is the BDSM checklist. BOTH of you should print this out, fill it out, exchange and discuss..And get ready for some hot scenes now that you know what your partner is looking for.

http://www.castlerealm.com/library/checklist.shtml

 

[Skitten]

Yes ask a lot of questions and if there is something that he doesn't want to do honor his wishes and take your time don't rush into anything you both don't want. Some people are scared because they are afraid of it getting out of control but if you are open and honest and always have a word that means enough so everyone knows where they stand.

 

[Kayotika]

From a switch, but mainly sub

If you feel completely sub, then being Domme is going to be a bit hard, but it's do-able. And Iron is making me melt, I love it when my Mistress talks to me that way...which is about whenever we are alone...*smyle*

--Kayotika

 

[dancinvixen]

coming from a real life sub to her dom husband

It might not be a good idea to go against what your nature is. You may end up hurting yourself more that way.

 

[hollowkatt]

I would suggest that anyone here interested in bdsm and other things like it check out http://www.submission.net
it is a very informative site full of thoughtful articles and whatnot. It is highly recomended for beginners and even has a section dedicated to them

luv ya all
hollowkatt