Free pass

[bondagegirl007]

Thank you, BondageGirl.

There are hidden darknesses within my overall sweetness.

mmm, now if only there was some hidden sweetness in your overall darkness.

 

[rlaflamme]

A contract?

Maybe... I don't know, not that knowledgeable about these things, probably why I started the conversation lol.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

Right. So then the question becomes, is the risk worth the opportunity?

Moot, because I'm single, but generally I'd say 'no'.

 

[bondagegirl007]

Moot, because I'm single, but generally I'd say 'no'.

yeah... I'd say only if you're looking for a way out, for a catalyst.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

mmm, now if only there was some hidden sweetness in your overall darkness.

You'll just have to go and look.

 

[Misshotndeep]

You won't suffocate. You can suffer from heatstroke and depending on the kind of paint could have a reaction from the chemicals in it, but no suffocation.

Then the special lied. I only know what I saw. Good job researching that.

 

[bondagegirl007]

Then the special lied. I only know what I saw. Good job researching that.

I didn't have to because this isn't the first time I've that particular exchange about the paint. It's somehow not even the second time. It's come up a lot considering... I've never actually seen the Bond film in question lol.

 

[Misshotndeep]

I didn't have to because this isn't the first time I've that particular exchange about the paint. It's somehow not even the second time. It's come up a lot considering... I've never actually seen the Bond film in question lol.

My mom was a huge fan. I saw a special years and years ago and since they said it. It’s about the only thing I remember from the special actually. They said they had to leave some certain spot uncovered so the actress wouldn’t die. Amazing how information spreads.

 

[TheWorldBuilder]

My mom was a huge fan. I saw a special years and years ago and since they said it. It’s about the only thing I remember from the special actually. They said they had to leave some certain spot uncovered so the actress wouldn’t die. Amazing how information spreads.

The urban legend was that there was a small patch at the bottom of Shirley's back left uncovered. She can neither confirm or deny.

 

[TTawhere]

Right. So then the question becomes, is the risk worth the opportunity?

Likely.

But nobody is going to write me a pass.

 

[Misshotndeep]

The urban legend was that there was a small patch at the bottom of Shirley's back left uncovered. She can neither confirm or deny.

Thank you for clarifying something totally not important.

Back on topic. I am very territorial. Not jealous and yes there is a difference. My feelings are not born of insecurity but rather what’s mine is mine. Once I claim a guy and yes I claim people, All their dick belongs to us.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

You won't suffocate. You can suffer from heatstroke and depending on the kind of paint could have a reaction from the chemicals in it, but no suffocation.

Right. Humans don't breathe through their skin.

https://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/body-art/can-full-coat-body-paint-kill.htm

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

I am very territorial. Not jealous and yes there is a difference. My feelings are not born of insecurity but rather what’s mine is mine.

This.

My partners have a choice: either they can be mine, in which case i get all of them and they get all of me, or they can not be mine, in which case they can do whatever they like and they get none of me.

I don't want anything half-ass, and i don't want to share.

 

[Misshotndeep]

Right. Humans don't breathe through their skin.

https://people.howstuffworks.com/culture-traditions/body-art/can-full-coat-body-paint-kill.htm

See, that was my argument when I first heard it but my mom insisted it had to be true if it was on TV. Back then you couldn’t just google stuff. I saw the special a very very long time ago. Guess the miss information just stuck with me.
If that is the only dumb thing I believed in my life I would still be ahead of the general population so meh.

 

[TTawhere]

This.

My partners have a choice: either they can be mine, in which case i get all of them and they get all of me, or they can not be mine, in which case they can do whatever they like and they get none of me.

I don't want anything half-ass, and i don't want to share.

So what would you do if your partner is all yours, but is unwilling to give you anything?

 

[Misshotndeep]

So what would you do if your partner is all yours, but is unwilling to give you anything?

That’s kinda moot question. How can someone be “all theirs” if they give nothing of themselves?

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

That’s kinda moot question. How can someone be “all theirs” if they give nothing of themselves?

Pretty much.

So what would you do if your partner is all yours, but is unwilling to give you anything?

If they are intentionally unwilling to actively work toward a solution, then they have broken their vows and our marriage contract and I am no longer obligated to stay.

 

[TTawhere]

That’s kinda moot question. How can someone be “all theirs” if they give nothing of themselves?

Trust me. It happens. Sometimes for reasons beyond their control.

 

[seeshelly]

Why the desire for a free pass?

Even though many people would claim that they never feel sexual attraction to anyone other than their mate the reality is that all healthy people do. Humans have a very natural urge to experience sex and we have a natural desire to have a variety of sexual partners. That is why this topic exists. The desire for a free pass is just a desire to be able to do something natural without wrecking a relationship. So, the real solution is to talk openly with your mate. Understand that they too would enjoy some sexual variety. Give each other sexual freedom not just a free pass. I love my husband and he loves me. The fact that we both enjoy sex with others doesn't take away from our love. In fact I view the sex I have with other guys as just an extension of my sex life with my husband.

 

[Misshotndeep]

If they are intentionally unwilling to actively work toward a solution, then they have broken their vows and our marriage contract and I am no longer obligated to stay.

What she said. Short of illness it’s selfishness and that will not be tolerated. If a partner wants to be selfish then they are no longe part of the relationship and moving on would be best in my opinion. I don’t understand how so many stay in sexless marriages and relationship simply because of social pressure and comfort. Everyone deserves to be fulfilled in all ways and not just as a sometimes cutesy. There are tons of folks on here doing just that though.

 

[TTawhere]

What she said. Short of illness it’s selfishness and that will not be tolerated. If a partner wants to be selfish then they are no longe part of the relationship and moving on would be best in my opinion. I don’t understand how so many stay in sexless marriages and relationship simply because of social pressure and comfort. Everyone deserves to be fulfilled in all ways and not just as a sometimes cutesy. There are tons of folks on here doing just that though.

This. You've hit it on the head.

If you were married and couldn't have sex, how would you deal with this? Would you want your partner to leave you even if you still love them and they love you, or would you be offering them a pass so they were around supporting you in other ways? Would you be willing to throw the whole thing away because you couldn't express that love physically?

A marriage is a combination of many things. There are emotional, material, and social entanglements. There may be children. It becomes a messy situation to disentangle just because of sex.

 

[Misshotndeep]

This. You've hit it on the head.

If you were married and couldn't have sex, how would you deal with this? Would you want your partner to leave you even if you still love them, or would you be offering them a pass so they were around supporting you in other ways?

A marriage is a combination of many things. There are emotional, material, and social entanglements. There may be children. It becomes a messy situation to disentangle just because of sex.

I’ve been married. If they are that selfish. Fuck em. No free passes. We are a couple or we’re not. Cut and dry. Mine or not mine. No wiggle room for me. We play together or you move on.
In case of illness I believe every case is special and can not be summed up with one blanket statement.

 

[Richard_C]

I don’t really get this at all. A relationship should open or not. A one time thing would just create a massive wave of confusion, uncertainty, self doubt and just be a lot of work in the end to clear up.

 

[BongoGal]

I think it's quite likely that anyone offering or even just suggesting a free pass has cheated already and is looking for a means by which to even the score in a way.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

If you were married and couldn't have sex, how would you deal with this? Would you want your partner to leave you even if you still love them and they love you, or would you be offering them a pass so they were around supporting you in other ways? Would you be willing to throw the whole thing away because you couldn't express that love physically?

A marriage is a combination of many things. There are emotional, material, and social entanglements. There may be children. It becomes a messy situation to disentangle just because of sex.

If I was the one who couldn't have sex? How are we defining 'couldn't'?

Do my hands work at all? Can i give my partner a handy (either on my own or with his assistance), or even just rest my hand on his chest or his thigh?
Do my feet work, or have any sensation? Can he rub himself against my foot?
How about my mouth? Can i suck or lick any part of him? Can he come on my face or in my mouth? (Or for that matter, anywhere else on my body?)
My nose? If the only thing i could do was inhale his scent, i would still want to do that.
If i can't participate in vaginal intercourse, can i have anal?
Can he fuck between my breasts or my thighs or my ass cheeks?
If i can't move at all, can i watch him touch himself or touch me and provide commentary or listen to his?
Can we watch porn together or read a sexy story or listen to an audio?
Can he lie next to me and put his head close to mine and whisper what he's thinking as he gets himself off?

If despite our best efforts and all of our creativity, i am not able to meet any of his physical/sexual needs, but our relationship is strong and rewarding in other ways, I would ask him what he wants to do. If he wants to stay for the right reasons but is concerned that the lack of physical contact would become too much for him to bear, i think i might consider discussing parameters for consensual extramarital sex that we can both be okay with, tell him not to feel guilty if he decides to go that route, and ask him not to tell me about it if he does.

That's just a guess. I've no idea how i would really feel if it were actually happening.