Formal Sub Training

Sub training

  • Have done

    Votes: 4 8.9%
  • Would do

    Votes: 19 42.2%
  • It is important

    Votes: 15 33.3%
  • Don't care

    Votes: 4 8.9%
  • Not necessary

    Votes: 12 26.7%

  • Total voters
    45
  • Poll closed .
Joined
Sep 10, 2003
Posts
19,348
Same as the last thread.
Only there is one more thing i would like to know.
Why do people feel Doms should be trained by "Real Doms" and subs dont need training?
 
Not a big one for either getting formal training. I think a Dom or Top can learn practicalities of how to swing a flogger safely etc., and maybe have their brain cells pointed in the right direction as to how and why a sub may act the way they do in particular situations, but hopefully the latter would come to them through intelligence and information from peers and outside the world of D/s in some cases. While a sub also can learn things about Doms and submission, the formal training bit IMHO can sometimes make them more difficult to train by their future owner/dominant if they have undergone 'formal training' and have it in their head this is they way it should be. Once that is in some peoples heads, it is hard to make them see that perhaps it is not necessarily the way their Dominant feels or what they want.

Catalina :rose:
 
I would think training would depend on what kind of service you intended to go into. I mean, if you're going to be a wife and mother you learn as you go how to cook and keep house for your family. If you're going to do white glove service in a 5 star restaurant then you'll have to go to school.

Unless one is going into Formal Service then I'm not sure I see the efficacy of Formal Training. As Catalina pointed out, most Doms are fairly particular about what they require from their submissives, it's easier to teach than to re-teach.

-B
 
bridgeburner said:
I would think training would depend on what kind of service you intended to go into. I mean, if you're going to be a wife and mother you learn as you go how to cook and keep house for your family. If you're going to do white glove service in a 5 star restaurant then you'll have to go to school.

Unless one is going into Formal Service then I'm not sure I see the efficacy of Formal Training. As Catalina pointed out, most Doms are fairly particular about what they require from their submissives, it's easier to teach than to re-teach.

-B
hmmm doe a dom have to re-teach after a sub has been owned?
 
Kajira Callista said:
hmmm doe a dom have to re-teach after a sub has been owned?


I would think to some degree --- unless s/he happens to have exactly the same desires as the previous owner.

The flip side of the teach/re-teach coin is that it's easier to work with a submissive that's had some training than with a raw recruit who knows nothing.

It's going to depend on the individuals. Some Dominants won't even interview newbie submissives or submissives with less than X years of experience. I could be mistaken but they seem to be a larger part of the population than Domniants who want only brand new subs to train from the ground up. I would think that newbie subs have a harder time finding decent Masters than experienced subs and not just because they don't know what to look for but because they're less desirable partners.

-B
 
bridgeburner said:
I would think to some degree --- unless s/he happens to have exactly the same desires as the previous owner.

The flip side of the teach/re-teach coin is that it's easier to work with a submissive that's had some training than with a raw recruit who knows nothing.

It's going to depend on the individuals. Some Dominants won't even interview newbie submissives or submissives with less than X years of experience. I could be mistaken but they seem to be a larger part of the population than Domniants who want only brand new subs to train from the ground up. I would think that newbie subs have a harder time finding decent Masters than experienced subs and not just because they don't know what to look for but because they're less desirable partners.

-B
oddly i have found it to be the complete opposite of what you just posted.

:kiss: :rose:
 
Kajira Callista said:
oddly i have found it to be the complete opposite of what you just posted.

:kiss: :rose:


That Dom's only want newbie subs?

I've found that what Dom's want are nubile young girls and if they have to train them, they will. If they had a choice between an untrained hot young thing and a trained hot young thing, the experienced girl is going to have the edge. She's not going to yelp and then get up and scurry around the room rubbing her ass the first time he lays a belt across it. ;->

I mean, yeah, they're Dom's but they're men first, and men like young hot chicks.

I'll be a hit at the nursing home when we're all fugly as hell and the ones with wit and personality have the edge. So long as I maintain my bladder control.

Ah, who says there's nothing to look foward to in your old age?

-B
 
bridgeburner said:
That Dom's only want newbie subs?

I've found that what Dom's want are nubile young girls and if they have to train them, they will. If they had a choice between an untrained hot young thing and a trained hot young thing, the experienced girl is going to have the edge. She's not going to yelp and then get up and scurry around the room rubbing her ass the first time he lays a belt across it. ;->

I mean, yeah, they're Dom's but they're men first, and men like young hot chicks.

I'll be a hit at the nursing home when we're all fugly as hell and the ones with wit and personality have the edge. So long as I maintain my bladder control.

Ah, who says there's nothing to look foward to in your old age?

-B

But isn't part of building the relationship, working with somebody new? Just because some one isn't trained, doesn't mean that they are going to scurry across the room yelping. And if they do, what does it say about the Dom?
To me it says that they are proceeding too quickly and not taking the time to allow the sub to accomodate to the situation. Surely taking a little more time and going at the new sub's speed will give them a better chance to learn what they have to do and how to deal with it. I have found that trying to teach or present something to someone too fast almost never works well. The Dom should take the time to know the sub and to understand where they are. Other wise things just won't go well.
 
Last edited:
bridgeburner said:
T

I mean, yeah, they're Dom's but they're men first, and men like young hot chicks.

I'll be a hit at the nursing home when we're all fugly as hell and the ones with wit and personality have the edge. So long as I maintain my bladder control.

Ah, who says there's nothing to look foward to in your old age?

-B


LOL, F doesn't. Anytime I start looking at or talking with a younger type sub, especially if they are also hot, he tells me it is not what he is looking for and that they will likely bore him. If they have extra padding, they have a better chance, but I still have a hard time convincing him to give anyone under 30 a go.

Catalina :rose:
 
I do think there is this stereotypes image of new subs being easily scared, likely to complain, and hard work. I can honestly say the first session I ever experienced, and not at the hands of someone I was romantically involved with either, I was black and blue for well over a week. He was the one who stopped, not I, and there was not a complaint out of me until he did suggest it was enough.

Catalina :rose:
 
catalina_francisco said:
LOL, F doesn't. Anytime I start looking at or talking with a younger type sub, especially if they are also hot, he tells me it is not what he is looking for and that they will likely bore him. If they have extra padding, they have a better chance, but I still have a hard time convincing him to give anyone under 30 a go.

Catalina :rose:

I must say that I prefer Rubenesque typs myself. Just more of everything. :)
 
raven2 said:
I must say that I prefer Rubenesque typs myself. Just more of everything. :)

LOL, so he keeps telling me, and as he is only 38 and I am 47 I tell him must also be into old ladies. :D

Catalina :rose:
 
catalina_francisco said:
LOL, so he keeps telling me, and as he is only 38 and I am 47 I tell him must also be into old ladies. :D

Catalina :rose:

Just like fine wine. :rose: :rose:
 
catalina_francisco said:
LOL, so he keeps telling me, and as he is only 38 and I am 47 I tell him must also be into old ladies. :D

Catalina :rose:

Excuse the interruption (to those that demand such apologies) ... My sub, has been with me since a very early age, and there's a 3 year age difference between us, she being the younger. O/our experience has been that she has only found the means of truly and confidently expressing her sub side since our kids have become self-sufficient. (That is not meant to say it's a development f looking after kids!)

As for body styles, I must confess that I too have a preference for the Rubenesque figure ... but, a change is always refreshing - if only as a means of restoring One's adoration of such.

I hope that this little contribution adds to the thread.
 
I have to relate my experience with the lovely setee in my av :)

He was definitely formally trained as a maid and subsequently as a slut/whore about 20 years ago.

He dropped out of the scene when his owner moved and left him behind to "find a nice wife." Which he did.

He met me while separating from that marriage and became property again. I could not be more different from his previous Mistress as he describes her -- she was a proper lady, regimented, wealthy, organized, extremely ladylike and feminine -- I don't think I'd know what to do with a formally trained sissy maid except dress her up and admire her, honestly! I don't think I could critique her ironing, because I don't iron!

Night and day from Lady Laura, night and day from the vanilla marriage. I'm a joyously open new-school pervert, a gender-ambiguous freak, unpredictable, and free-wheeling.

The transition has been very seamless. In spite of the fact that there were defininte ways things "were supposed to be" in that other situation, the main lesson that H's previous owner imparted was to be obedient, loyal, selfless, ready, and willing. She got his head screwed on JUST right, and I've been reaping the benefit since.

So I like formal training and formally trained slaves, when the job's been done right.

I think I'm good enough and mature enough to own and take care of and direct. That doesn't make me an ideal trainer.

Trainers are a certain skillset, and I admire them. I hope to be better at it when I'm a bit more grown-up still.
 
catalina_francisco said:
Not a big one for either getting formal training. I think a Dom or Top can learn practicalities of how to swing a flogger safely etc., and maybe have their brain cells pointed in the right direction as to how and why a sub may act the way they do in particular situations, but hopefully the latter would come to them through intelligence and information from peers and outside the world of D/s in some cases. While a sub also can learn things about Doms and submission, the formal training bit IMHO can sometimes make them more difficult to train by their future owner/dominant if they have undergone 'formal training' and have it in their head this is they way it should be. Once that is in some peoples heads, it is hard to make them see that perhaps it is not necessarily the way their Dominant feels or what they want.

Catalina :rose:

IMHO, this is a perfect explanation. "Training" should be a mutually satisfying educational experience for both parties. For a Dom / Top to be intent on creating "stepford types" is a depressing thought for me ... variety is the spice of life within a controlled environment.
 
I like the idea of being trained very much. I've sought it out in my limited way both online and at home with my husband. I've done a good bit of research and enjoyed the journey so far.

I hope to find a local munch and see where that takes us in training and other areas.

Fury :rose:
 
FurryFury said:
I like the idea of being trained very much. I've sought it out in my limited way both online and at home with my husband. I've done a good bit of research and enjoyed the journey so far.

I hope to find a local munch and see where that takes us in training and other areas.

Fury :rose:
I like the idea of training a sub. When my husband and I were in Hamburg, Germany on vacation, we went to a sex club. In case anyone hasn't been there, the sex clubs are plentiful. I decided that I wanted and needed some pussy that night. So we picked out the sexiest woman, that met both our taste and brought her back to the hotel. Now my hubby who is a switch thought that he was going to be Doming her with me. Wrong! I not only was in the mood for some pussy but I was also in the mood to show this beautiful woman, what a sissy slut slave my hubby was! So I had him kneel down and eat the two of us to orgasm! This was within minutes after we entered our hotel room door. Of course what I did then was to tell him to, put the panties on, that our gorgeous guest just took off. Once he did that, which by the way he was so fucking hot, his monster cock was trying to get out of the pants he was wearing that night. He had an extremely hard time putting them on, because of his massive erection! We both giggled and then I told him to assume the position. Well if he hadn't been so trained he would not have gone directly to the chair in the suite and bent over it. Once in position I picked up a flogger and started whipping his ass. He was so humilated it was making me hotter by the second. The sadistic bitch in me was on fire. But here is the best part. The gorgeous woman says to me, " I have always wanted to do this, can I have a try?" Of course I tell her yes and she takes the flogger from me and starts whipping him like you were whipping a new porcelin doll, that you thought would break. I immediately tell her no sweetie, that is not the way to do this! This is how you need to use this. I then start to flog his ass like there was no tomorrow. I am not into this for about two minutes before she is begging me to take over. Of course I let her and my well trained sub, just stays in his position and accepts the torrent of blows that follows. I don't think she would ever have learned, at least not as fast, if it wasn't for my personal demonstation! :D Which by the way she was so fucking hot after whipping him and them seeing his moster cock just dripping with pre-cum! :devil: What a night we had that night! :)

So in summation I think that having a sub who is totally trained, to follow your orders is perfect. I also found that teaching another hot woman how to properly whip the sub is also important! So at least I have learned that proper training helps out immensley! :kiss: Love to all of you!! :rose:
 
Netzach said:
I have to relate my experience with the lovely setee in my av :)

He was definitely formally trained as a maid and subsequently as a slut/whore about 20 years ago.

He dropped out of the scene when his owner moved and left him behind to "find a nice wife." Which he did.

He met me while separating from that marriage and became property again. I could not be more different from his previous Mistress as he describes her -- she was a proper lady, regimented, wealthy, organized, extremely ladylike and feminine -- I don't think I'd know what to do with a formally trained sissy maid except dress her up and admire her, honestly! I don't think I could critique her ironing, because I don't iron!

Night and day from Lady Laura, night and day from the vanilla marriage. I'm a joyously open new-school pervert, a gender-ambiguous freak, unpredictable, and free-wheeling.

The transition has been very seamless. In spite of the fact that there were defininte ways things "were supposed to be" in that other situation, the main lesson that H's previous owner imparted was to be obedient, loyal, selfless, ready, and willing. She got his head screwed on JUST right, and I've been reaping the benefit since.

So I like formal training and formally trained slaves, when the job's been done right.

I think I'm good enough and mature enough to own and take care of and direct. That doesn't make me an ideal trainer.

Trainers are a certain skillset, and I admire them. I hope to be better at it when I'm a bit more grown-up still.
Oh and by the way Netzach, you sound like one incredibly delicious Dom! :kiss:
 
Some interesting reading having to do a little with this topic would be the 'Sleeping Beauty' series by Anne Rice.
lust4us, which club did you go to? I live very close to Hamburg, but havn't been over here long, so I'm still not sure where to go.
 
A girl after my own heart. I just engaged in an expression of D/s with the man who brought me out so to speak. He spent two days showing me how "good little slut" acts. Training? If that's training where do I sign up?

:rose:

catalina_francisco said:
I do think there is this stereotypes image of new subs being easily scared, likely to complain, and hard work. I can honestly say the first session I ever experienced, and not at the hands of someone I was romantically involved with either, I was black and blue for well over a week. He was the one who stopped, not I, and there was not a complaint out of me until he did suggest it was enough.

Catalina :rose:
 
Blushing Bottom said:
A girl after my own heart. I just engaged in an expression of D/s with the man who brought me out so to speak. He spent two days showing me how "good little slut" acts. Training? If that's training where do I sign up?

:rose:

From what you are saying, it sounds as if you already have. :)
 
Yeah I'd do it. I feel like it would be beneficial to fully submerge into submission for a good amount of time; I have no idea what my headspace would be like afterwards but I guarantee I'd have more stamina and fewer unwanted limits (e.g. it hurts too much) after some good ol' fashioned training. Plus any sort of specialization--I'd looooooove to take cooking and massage therapy classes, for example!

Speaking of, time to go make croissan'wiches.
 
I wonder if you could possibly know the feeling which comes from knowing that you are being trained to know pleasure. To be pleasure...the giving of it...receiving it...living it?

I become more enlightened with each passing day.

:rose:


raven2 said:
From what you are saying, it sounds as if you already have. :)
 
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