Forgiveness

[Recidiva]

RECIDIVA

Naaaah. I just need some new SUPER-DOM Underoos. Theyre really popular with all the BDSM Posers.

I see that you've caught on to the universal truth that typing things in caps provides you with gravitas.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

RECIDIVA

Glad you brought it up. I read a most interesting article about grammar last night. Did you know (and you likely dont) that many of our grammar conventions are shit some chalky, limp dick pedagogue dreamed up? Many of the rules are entirely arbitrary and WRONG. That is, the rule is illogical. Like your obsession with CAPS. It's no wonder at all that you like to be tied-up.

 

[Recidiva]

RECIDIVA

Glad you brought it up. I read a most interesting article about grammar last night. Did you know (and you likely dont) that many of our grammar conventions are shit some chalky, limp dick pedagogue dreamed up? Many of the rules are entirely arbitrary and WRONG. That is, the rule is illogical. Like your obsession with CAPS. It's no wonder at all that you like to be tied-up.

That doesn't sound like an interesting article at all.

I do know that most rules, including grammatical and social, are entirely arbitrary. However, if you're a guest in someone's home, or their thread, their forum or in their country, it shows a certain level of sophistication to be able to adapt to local custom out of respect. That's why being a diplomat is a skill, as is the ability to speak more than one language. In this case you have a language all your own.

I won't really speak as to my interest in being tied up (which shouldn't be hyphenated, by the way), but at the moment I'm feeling partial to the concept of a ball gag and shock collar.

 

[graceanne]

I won't really speak as to my interest in being tied up (which shouldn't be hyphenated, by the way), but at the moment I'm feeling partial to the concept of a ball gag and shock collar.

Don't you think that a ball gag and shock collar are inhumane for trolls? I think we just need to put him back in his cage and throw peanuts at him. After all we don't want him to totally starve, then he'll go away. I need trolls for comic relief.

 

[Recidiva]

Don't you think that a ball gag and shock collar are inhumane for trolls? I think we just need to put him back in his cage and throw peanuts at him. After all we don't want him to totally starve, then he'll go away. I need trolls for comic relief.

Has someone accused me of being humane? WHO? I cannot bear such slander!

How is he going to learn unless he tries new things?

 

[Netzach]

Has someone accused me of being humane? WHO? I cannot bear such slander!

How is he going to learn unless he tries new things?

Oh please, talk about "not the briar patch"

this is the biggest humiliation whore in the history of this forum.

 

[Recidiva]

Oh please, talk about "not the briar patch"

this is the biggest humiliation whore in the history of this forum.

I know. Being humane has so much nuance to it. Dammit.

 

[graceanne]

Has someone accused me of being humane? WHO? I cannot bear such slander!

I plead the fifth. Besides, we don't want PETA to show up in our forum. I don't mind trolls, but I do have my standards.

How is he going to learn unless he tries new things?

But what if he doesn't WANT to learn, and he goes away and we don't have any comic relief? Then I'd be sad!

 

[Recidiva]

I plead the fifth. Besides, we don't want PETA to show up in our forum. I don't mind trolls, but I do have my standards.

But what if he doesn't WANT to learn, and he goes away and we don't have any comic relief? Then I'd be sad!

There'll always be a new troll. Have faith. Be strong.

 

[graceanne]

There'll always be a new troll. Have faith. Be strong.

Well, if you're sure.

 

[A Desert Rose]

The concept of forgiveness doesn't make sense to me, unless there are tangible consequences for the relationship.


"I accept your apology and bear you no ill will" + "I think it's best if we part ways" = no more than a polite way of actually refusing forgiveness.

It's like walking away without punching someone in the face, giving the finger, or vowing retribution. Yeah, okay, on the surface you're being polite about it. But you are still walking. And in my book, that speaks just as loudly as a slap in the face.


In contrast, genuine forgiveness would be: "I accept your apology and am willing to work together to get back what we had in our relationship before the offending transgression."

That's real pardon. Anything else is ultimately meaningless.

I keep coming back to this post and I guess you should be flattered... LOL. (Seriously, I know you're not.)

I think I can forgive someone and not continue a relationship with him/her. Or at least not continue the same kind of relationship. When you are in a position to forgive, most times there's been a shake-up of trust. Sometimes trust can't be repaired. But there still remains certain aspects of the relationship that can be salvaged. Maybe never again at the same level of intensity, but maintained just the same.

Ah jeepers. I just need to go to sleep.

I understand what you're saying and I can agree to a point. But it seems to lack the gray areas that so pervade my life. It seems like a real cut and dried answer and I'm pretty torn and swampy where my emotions are.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

*spew*

I do suppose we could forgive this troll as isn't it all about the elimination of negative responses to perceived negative occurrences?

There'll always be a new troll. Have faith. Be strong.

 

[sexycaz22]

I keep coming back to this post and I guess you should be flattered... LOL. (Seriously, I know you're not.)

I think I can forgive someone and not continue a relationship with him/her. Or at least not continue the same kind of relationship. When you are in a position to forgive, most times there's been a shake-up of trust. Sometimes trust can't be repaired. But there still remains certain aspects of the relationship that can be salvaged. Maybe never again at the same level of intensity, but maintained just the same.

Ah jeepers. I just need to go to sleep.

I understand what you're saying and I can agree to a point. But it seems to lack the gray areas that so pervade my life. It seems like a real cut and dried answer and I'm pretty torn and swampy where my emotions are.

*ok...trying to get this thread back on topic....*

I would like to talk about what you said, Rose in your post, especially in the red.

I have had experiences with that, at least with two of my friends who have let me down repeatably. They both have apologised to me and I have forgave them...but will never forget how they treated me, as it is impossible for me to trust them again...100%. Especially the friend who have let me down recently, since she apologised in her own way, I found that she have told a few of my secrets to her new boyfriend...which hurt me very much, as this particular boyfriend is a big mouth and easily blabs things out to his friends, so I am scared what other secrets she would tell him, the most serious secrets etc. And with this, I knew that I would never trust her again, she let me down big time. And our closeness won't be the same again, which is a shame, in some way, as I always enjoyed our chats, when we were on a one-to-one basis.

Again, it's the same with me and my father, although we have argued a lot when I was a little girl, and I have forgave him for leaving my mother for another woman, and for one massive argument, where he waved a sharp knife in front of me, and he forgave me for hitting him continually during our arguments, the funny thing is, now we have a better and stronger relationship despite all the arguments etc. I am extremely lucky to have him in my life, but I don't tell him things about my life, etc and I am not really close to him. But I know I can trust my father now. And I am really glad.

 

[Recidiva]

*spew*

I do suppose we could forgive this troll as isn't it all about the elimination of negative responses to perceived negative occurrences?

I think my perception of trolls is entirely different than some models.

We're having a conversation about the color of the sky. Yes, sometimes it's blue, blue-ish, cloudy, sometimes there's a rainbow. All true.

When someone comes in and says "You fools! The sky is polka dotted and filled with metal shavings!" I don't really get upset. I may become fascinated, though. There's very little to forgive, much more to pity.

Disagreeing with me is fine, either way.

It seems that people want to argue that the sky is clearly blue, you insulting fool!

I don't think they mean to be insulting. They're just...well...in a world of their own.

I'm just grateful I can see both worlds and I'm not stuck in the one with polka dots and metal shavings 24/7.

 

[graceanne]

*ok...trying to get this thread back on topic....*

I would like to talk about what you said, Rose in your post, especially in the red.

I have had experiences with that, at least with two of my friends who have let me down repeatably. They both have apologised to me and I have forgave them...but will never forget how they treated me, as it is impossible for me to trust them again...100%. Especially the friend who have let me down recently, since she apologised in her own way, I found that she have told a few of my secrets to her new boyfriend...which hurt me very much, as this particular boyfriend is a big mouth and easily blabs things out to his friends, so I am scared what other secrets she would tell him, the most serious secrets etc. And with this, I knew that I would never trust her again, she let me down big time. And our closeness won't be the same again, which is a shame, in some way, as I always enjoyed our chats, when we were on a one-to-one basis.

Again, it's the same with me and my father, although we have argued a lot when I was a little girl, and I have forgave him for leaving my mother for another woman, and for one massive argument, where he waved a sharp knife in front of me, and he forgave me for hitting him continually during our arguments, the funny thing is, now we have a better and stronger relationship despite all the arguments etc. I am extremely lucky to have him in my life, but I don't tell him things about my life, etc and I am not really close to him. But I know I can trust my father now. And I am really glad.

In highschool I was friends with this girl. K (yes their's a ton of people with the first intial of K in my life) had had a childhood that made mine look like a walk in the park. As a result she was 'borderline personalities', anorexic/bulemic, and a cutter. I spent two years as her friend in highschool, and she lived with us a year of that, only to discover that she was telling lies and stuff about me and my mom. I was furious at the time. I've come to realize the lies and the mean side of her are just part of her mental illness, and I've forgiven her. Are we still friends? No. Not necessarily cause of the back stabbing, but because I realized I was just enabling her to stay in her rut. I recently heard that she's been out of the psych ward she went into shortly after our friendship split for several years, is married, and has a child. I guess I made the right decision.

Anyway, I had a point, long and rambling thought it might have been. Sometimes love means letting the relationship die, not returning to how it was. My not letting her back into my life had nothing to do with what she did, I just knew that I wasn't helping her.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

RECIDIVA

You dolt! The sky is fuscia and filled with shaving cream.

Plus! Your presupposition is you know which end is up. I dont think you do. You and your cohort cannot distinguish lightning from a lightning-bug. Your thinking is: They both illuminate, they must be the same thing.

 

[Recidiva]

RECIDIVA

You dolt! The sky is fuscia and filled with shaving cream.

Plus! Your presupposition is you know which end is up. I dont think you do. You and your cohort cannot distinguish lightning from a lightning-bug. Your thinking is: They both illuminate, they must be the same thing.

I am but mad north-northwest; when the wind is southerly I know a hawk from a handsaw.

(I stole that from Hamlet, but Shakespeare's cool and says neat stuff.)

 

[CutieMouse]

I keep coming back to this post and I guess you should be flattered... LOL. (Seriously, I know you're not.)

I think I can forgive someone and not continue a relationship with him/her. Or at least not continue the same kind of relationship. When you are in a position to forgive, most times there's been a shake-up of trust. Sometimes trust can't be repaired. But there still remains certain aspects of the relationship that can be salvaged. Maybe never again at the same level of intensity, but maintained just the same.

Ah jeepers. I just need to go to sleep.

I understand what you're saying and I can agree to a point. But it seems to lack the gray areas that so pervade my life. It seems like a real cut and dried answer and I'm pretty torn and swampy where my emotions are.

I have to agree with Rose, here.

Forgiveness = keeping the person in your life, is too black & white.

There are people who were once in my life, who did very bad things to me. It took walking away from them completely, to find enough objective distance to heal (emotionaly/mentally) from that abuse. It's been nearly a decade, and I can finally say I honestly and sincerely forgive them - they really did not know what they were doing [due to mental illness]. However, my understanding and forgiveness does not mean I can (or should) safely allow that [mentally ill] person back into my life; nor does setting that self-preserving boundary (IMO) lesson the forgiveness granted.

 

[Recidiva]

I have to agree with Rose, here.

Forgiveness = keeping the person in your life, is too black & white.

There are people who were once in my life, who did very bad things to me. It took walking away from them completely, to find enough objective distance to heal (emotionaly/mentally) from that abuse. It's been nearly a decade, and I can finally say I honestly and sincerely forgive them - they really did not know what they were doing [due to mental illness]. However, my understanding and forgiveness does not mean I can (or should) safely allow that [mentally ill] person back into my life; nor does setting that self-preserving boundary (IMO) lesson the forgiveness granted.

This is true for me as well. I have a brother who is still living, still destructive, and I can be civil with him and shelve my feelings.

However, members of my family want me to have a "healthy" relationship with him - I think I already do. I also point out that to imagine wanting a close relationship, I would have to have some hope that it would bear any resemblance to a relationship I'd want to have. It doesn't.

Therefore, he's not called to task for anything done in the past. But nor will I deny any of it happened, which he will do. His inability to deal with reality makes me clear on not wanting a future dependence on him in any way.

 

[Blushing Bottom]

Your syllogisms do not illuminate as you might think kind...ah...hem sir.

Yet if all trolls breath rhetorical garbage and JAMESBJOHNSON breaths such rhetoric therefor JAMESBJOHNSON must be a troll.

RECIDIVA

You dolt! The sky is fuscia and filled with shaving cream.

Plus! Your presupposition is you know which end is up. I dont think you do. You and your cohort cannot distinguish lightning from a lightning-bug. Your thinking is: They both illuminate, they must be the same thing.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Okay... Now I have to ask...

What is your fucking beef with me? Why do you keep fucking up my thread? If you have nothing better to do than this, can't you take it to PM? Or start your own thread on some topic and carry it on over there?

I'm sorry but this is really getting to be old and boring. And I think for not only me. I have to wade through bullshit posturing posts to find something of substance. No one wants to do that.

Oh fuck me... nevermind. I'm tired and tired of bullshit and you just carry on fucking this up...

 

[sexycaz22]

Okay... Now I have to ask...

What is your fucking beef with me? Why do you keep fucking up my thread? If you have nothing better to do than this, can't you take it to PM? Or start your own thread on some topic and carry it on over there?

I'm sorry but this is really getting to be old and boring. And I think for not only me. I have to wade through bullshit posturing posts to find something of substance. No one wants to do that.

Oh fuck me... nevermind. I'm tired and tired of bullshit and you just carry on fucking this up...

Don't worry, I am sure the others feel the same.

In fact, I have told someone, that if HE were here in real life, I would punch him on the nose, for you and have no qualm about it! Damn HIM! How dare he hack your thread. I was enjoying reading your posts and others' posts until HE hijacked it!

Not your fault, dear...AND thank you for putting the thread up, and try to ignore him, I do!

{{{HUGS}}}

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

ROSE

It doesnt seem to bother you that your friends curse me and attack me. It only bothers you when I post. Why is that?

 

[CutieMouse]

ROSE

It doesnt seem to bother you that your friends curse me and attack me. It only bothers you when I post. Why is that?

Mr. Johnson, your posts in this thread have been argumentative, taunting, bait filled attempts at creating discord and animosity. You seem to be under the mistaken impression, that the goal of this thread (or any other on this forum) is to "win"... whatever winning is, as defined in your own peculiar world. You insult those who disagree with you, and attempt to "divide and conquer" - an observation made from the multiple times you have mentioned all the "support" you get via PM, encouraging you to take on the "old guard" of the forum.

You sir, are bombastic, narcissistic and boorish. The topic at hand is NOT ABOUT YOU. It was (and hopefully will become, again) an intillectual discussion of forgiveness.

In closing, since you have so much "experience" in the field of psychology, I'd like to suggest to you a rather common phrase used in therapy -

If everyone around you is seeing something about you that you aren't, you might want to examine that, and consider the possibility that their perception is right, and yours is wrong.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

CUTIEMOUSE

Tyrants come in two forms.

The first is an individual who uses his power to silence everyone.

The second is the group that uses its power to silence the individual.