For men over 40....

[Willowbigirl]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

 

[m_and_em_stories]

Generically I think many men focus on family and careers to different degrees in their 20s and 30s, often toxically at the expense of their own personal wants and needs to benefit their family and career. After two decades of hard work, the combined effect of feeling you have succeeded in your role for your family, and now have the financial means and the time and energy to focus on themselfs and their own personal needs and wants. Thus the mid life crisis where men get blamed and demonized for many just finally caring about themselves.

Personally, A lot of complicated circumstances beyond that were also holding me back until recently. That and I really never planned my life much past 40 in any sort of detail. My list of goals and things to accomplish in my life somehow is down to only a few last things. So now what do I do with myself? Start adding things to the list I was too scared to add in the past, or didn't want then and want now, and I'm more willing to not give a fuck about others opinions on the matter.

I've always been bi-curious to some degree but decades of fantasy can turn something small into something bigger. Now I'm just going to own and enjoy wherever that goes.

 

[Willowbigirl]

Generically I think many men focus on family and careers to different degrees in their 20s and 30s, often toxically at the expense of their own personal wants and needs to benefit their family and career. After two decades of hard work, the combined effect of feeling you have succeeded in your role for your family, and now have the financial means and the time and energy to focus on themselfs and their own personal needs and wants. Thus the mid life crisis where men get blamed and demonized for many just finally caring about themselves.

Personally, A lot of complicated circumstances beyond that were also holding me back until recently. That and I really never planned my life much past 40 in any sort of detail. My list of goals and things to accomplish in my life somehow is down to only a few last things. So now what do I do with myself? Start adding things to the list I was too scared to add in the past, or didn't want then and want now, and I'm more willing to not give a fuck about others opinions on the matter.

I've always been bi-curious to some degree but decades of fantasy can turn something small into something bigger. Now I'm just going to own and enjoy wherever that goes.

Love that, what an inciteful response and thank you! I like indulging the new found confidence and lease of life in men tbh, providing a safe space for men to indulge fantasies and desires they can't express irl.

 

[m_and_em_stories]

Confidence is so sexy!

I like indulging the new found confidence and lease of life in men tbh, providing a safe space for men to indulge fantasies and desires they can't express irl.

Thank you for your efforts! The world needs more of you

 

[Willowbigirl]

Happy to be of service!! I actually am though ;-)

 

[PlayfulJay]

I absolutely agree with what’s already been said. For me, there was a full realization of my own mortality that came around 40. I know, that sounds dark. But I think it really impacted how I viewed my daily life. When you fully realize that life has a time limit, it’s easier to open up about the interests and desires that you’ve ignored or kept silent about. Insecurities, social constraints, fear…those all no longer seem like reasonable barriers to experiencing all that life has to offer, especially when it comes to what my mind and body crave.

 

[justanewsub]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

What a great thread! Thanks for starting it. For me, it's a bit of a better understanding of myself. A time I feel like I've hit "traditional" success and a sense of where my life is. I can now focus not just on things like "I want sex" or "I like boobs," and more into what will actually arouse me. What can satisfy me. For me, that satisfaction now seems to come in the desire to please others, hence submission. But I think it comes from feeling like I've hit several other things in my life, allowing me to expand my horizons here.

 

[Beholders_Eye]

My own observation that is was not so much passing a certain age for me, but it was the emergence of the internet/web with its plethora of sexually related topics that opened my eyes and ignited my latent desires. I do agree with the thoughts above, though, because things blossomed for me after raising a family and retiring from my job; i.e. I had time and opportunity to explore. Both of which more or less coincided with the internet's rise.

Good topic!

 

[SirSparky]

Generically I think many men focus on family and careers to different degrees in their 20s and 30s, often toxically at the expense of their own personal wants and needs to benefit their family and career. After two decades of hard work, the combined effect of feeling you have succeeded in your role for your family, and now have the financial means and the time and energy to focus on themselfs and their own personal needs and wants. Thus the mid life crisis where men get blamed and demonized for many just finally caring about themselves.

Personally, A lot of complicated circumstances beyond that were also holding me back until recently. That and I really never planned my life much past 40 in any sort of detail. My list of goals and things to accomplish in my life somehow is down to only a few last things. So now what do I do with myself? Start adding things to the list I was too scared to add in the past, or didn't want then and want now, and I'm more willing to not give a fuck about others opinions on the matter.

I've always been bi-curious to some degree but decades of fantasy can turn something small into something bigger. Now I'm just going to own and enjoy wherever that goes.

This is very similar to how I feel, except for the bi curious bit. Ive never been bi curious and will never be. Im 54 now and thinking of medical retirement so will have a lot more time on my hands

 

[m_and_em_stories]

This is very similar to how I feel, except for the bi curious bit. Ive never been bi curious and will never be. Im 54 now and thinking of medical retirement so will have a lot more time on my hands

Absolutely, I didn't become bi-curious, I just stopped ignoring/pretending otherwise for other peoples simplicity and comfort. Not that I'm shouting it from the rooftops just living my life my way now.

At some point you have to define your own path, and 40s seems a good transition between living under the path and expectations you were taught and setup to, and learning about yourself and deciding on your own path and your own expectations.

 

[Jessica616]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

What a great question. For someone who is over 40, yes I would agree that as I got older I was more willing to try new things and be more open about it. I really didn't fully explore crossdressing until I was around 40. Now I am loving this part of my life and am more open. So to your question why. For me, I think it was that I reached the point where I new if I didn't try it, I would be to old to do it. Once I did put myself out there, it wasn't as scary as I thought, which allowed me to explore more. So glad I have.

 

[Britva415]

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life?

You just take less shit after 40.

Particularly, as far as this question goes, with regard to caring what other people think and whether you're going to be afraid of saying what you want.

 

[MuffandNonsense]

The age of 40 seems a long time ago.

I'm 72 now, I'm playing more sport than ever, and I feel more alive than at any time in my life.

Happily retired, and unencumbered by the pressures of working crazy hours, my wife and I have rekindled a wonderful sex life.

We love spending time with our grandchildren, we love walking in nature, and we take care of each other if one of us is feeling poorly.

We cook healthy food, we enjoy each other's company, and we enjoy our sexy times more than ever.

And, even at our advanced ages, we love seeing each other naked and are always turned on by light, tingly touches and beautiful soft kisses.

 

[justaguy10001]

I am just a few years into my 40s and would 100% agree that I'm definitely more interested and wanting to explore fantasies, kinks, etc. And I'm less inhibited at least in my mind from doing so. Not bi-curious in any way, but definitely open and wanting to try other things for sure. That's kind of how I ended up here recently. I'm definitely still a bit apprehensive and hoping being here helps to get me fully out of that shell. That said, I've grown more confident in who I am as a person and I think with that, I'm wanting to explore more sexually. Just wish I had a partner to do it with now.

 

[y=mx+b]

Fucks to give diminish exponentially faster as a man ages.

 

[Himileage]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

we get more kinky with age and we start thinking with our brain instead of the head of our cock.

 

[Erosfan]

The age of 40 seems a long time ago.

I'm 72 now, I'm playing more sport than ever, and I feel more alive than at any time in my life.

Happily retired, and unencumbered by the pressures of working crazy hours, my wife and I have rekindled a wonderful sex life.

We love spending time with our grandchildren, we love walking in nature, and we take care of each other if one of us is feeling poorly.

We cook healthy food, we enjoy each other's company, and we enjoy our sexy times more than ever.

And, even at our advanced ages, we love seeing each other naked and are always turned on by light, tingly touches and beautiful soft kisses.

You sound a lot like me. Early seventies, recently retired, really enjoying life. I'm a widower and I am seeing a lovely widow. We've been together for a little over three years.
We love spending time with our families and friends.
We cook and eat healthy foods. We walk every day and live our lives to the fullest.
Our sex life is really good. Those "light, tingly touches and beautiful soft kisses" are the absolute best.

 

[perturbedmusic]

I can only speak to my own experience, but I’m much more open about my sexuality with partners that aren’t judgmental. I’m not ashamed of my sexuality but I’m also not going to share when I know the reaction to that revelation will be negative., which is why I never brought it up with my ex wife or wife.

 

[MuffandNonsense]

You sound a lot like me. Early seventies, recently retired, really enjoying life. I'm a widower and I am seeing a lovely widow. We've been together for a little over three years.
We love spending time with our families and friends.
We cook and eat healthy foods. We walk every day and live our lives to the fullest.
Our sex life is really good. Those "light, tingly touches and beautiful soft kisses" are the absolute best.

Hi @Erosfan
Great to hear that you are living life to the full.
Age is just a number. When it comes to sport, I am still able to compete (and often beat) guys half my age. It's nice to be competitive, but the best part is making new friends in new sports.
Good news on your healthy food choices and daily walks are great for keeping active.
It's a beautiful feeling, isn't it, still enjoying a wonderful sex life into our 70s.
My wife is also loving the feeling when those light, tingly touches turn into some gentle pussy spanking.

 

[spawnofdavey]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

To be honest, at heart I've always been kinky, but I think it's a case of I recognise there's less time to fulfil those fantasies I've had, so I'm more interested in talking to people about those kinks and fantasies.

 

[LeSabreur]

I have had strong and frequent sexual thoughts and feelings since a young lad. I was also painfully shy and, as a teen, nothing was going to happen unless the girl took the initiative.

It wasn't until after I was 40 that I finally let go of a lot of my bashfulness. Now, even as I say this I can see friends and colleagues raising their brows...you, bashful?!? Yes, bashfulness, though I have always acted as an extrovert to compensate.

Some time in my early 40s something changed. My libido had never subsided, but my hang-ups about myself had, and I felt empowered to take action. I met some interesting people, had some very, very interesting experiences, and expanded my horizons tremendously. One day in my mid-40s I found myself walking stark naked through the length of a house I'd never been in before full of people I'd never met before. It felt so liberating! Yes, I started to have experiences with men, though I really don't consider myself bi-curious...maybe just, increasingly horny and open-minded?

Now, 20 years later, another factor has added to the openness and spirit of exploration, an existential one. It's immensely empowering!

 

[Glassnslate]

Personally I never developed the confidence to act in certain situations until after 40. It was not that I was not having sex or great times younger than 40. I had plenty of amazing, memorable times with awesome partners. There would have been more though, if the confidence and in some cases a better grasp on the situation would been present. I have a few really good stories of “almost” because of if.

Sometime between age 40-42 I came to realize some of the things I was thinking about, pondered, or feared/worried about really were none issues. Coming to terms with those things opened communication within my marriage to a level I never thought possible.

The number of opportunities at age 18-25 was way more than the opportunities past age 25. The percentage of success was way lower then. Now it is much higher.

 

[Mike130]

Definitely feel more open to things than when I was younger, and certainly not as naive. One time, in my 20’s, I went to a sex club with my girlfriend. Watched her fuck a guy and was very turned on. I was standing alone for a bit and this very cute girl came over, stood right next to me, wanting to fuck in front of her husband. Like an idiot, I begged off. If I had the awareness I have today, I would have went for it. There have been so many missed opportunities. And also, over the years, conservative taboos have been minimized regarding interracial and bisexual attitudes. I’m not romantically attracted to men, but the sexual attraction of a hard cock, black or white is definitely now a potential desire. The thought of swallowing a load of warm cum from a hard cock throbbing in my my mouth, watching a BBC fuck my wife, cleaning up after, or eating ass are all fantasies I would be willing to pursue.

Are these the ramblings of a bored mind, retired from work and having a lot of idle time? A more mature outlook from an older, more experienced man? A sexual awakening? Who knows!

 

[Glassnslate]

This experience is a classic. I was 21, in prime athletic shape, and energy and stamina were plenty. I was having an affair with a married woman in her mid 30s. She was separated, but not divorced. In appearance, she reminded me of Jennifer Tilley during the early 2000s. We had met about a dozen times over a six week timeframe. My energy and stamina allowed me to do for her at length what her husband was not doing for her.

One evening, as we were chatting on the computer, she introduced me to one of her friends via instant messenger. We all chatted together and agreed that we needed to go out some evening for drinks.

The day arrived for us to go out for drinks. Meeting at her apartment, both ladies were dressed for the night. My partner was dressed in tight jeans and a very revealing tank top. Her friend, Kathy, had on a skirt that was too short and a top that was cut too low and too revealing. It was awesome going to the bar with 2 real MILFs.

Throughout the evening, we had drinks and played pool. The ladies both spent the evening flirting with me. Kathy was bending over in front of me, taking shots on the pool table, or leaning over in such a way to reveal her breasts to me. My partner was asking me seductive and provocative questions about her friend.

“So don’t you think Kathy’s tits look nice?”

“Check out Kathy’s ass while she shoots.”

“Her tits are bigger than mine, don’t you think they would be fun to play with.”

All night, super intense fun and conversation from the two of them as they strutted and flaunted their stuff in front of me. I knew the situation I was in, but did not have the full confidence to answer the way that I should have. Sex was fairly new to me, and she was a regular partner for some really intense sex. Foolishly I thought that our affair would continue, so I played it safe that night.

We went back to my partners apartment that night. Her friend went home. My partner and I went inside and went through our usual routine, though we only made it to the living room couch that night. She commented one more time, “I really thought you would have been more into Kathy.” Again I said something like “I’d rather you.” After leaving that night I never saw her again.

A week or so later I reached out to her about going over. She said she couldn’t anymore. She, Kathy, and her husband had a threesome. Afterwards she was attempting to get back together with her husband. We did talk a couple times, the short rekindling of their marriage didn’t last and they got divorced.

Over 40 year old me would have seized that opportunity that night with the 2 of them and enjoyed it.

 

[LustALot]

Hi ;-)

In my recent plunge into the world of everything sexual online - I have noticed some things I hope you can all help me to understand please!

After men turn 40 (sometimes a bit younger) there seems to be a a bit of a sexual awakening, where kinks come out, men are less afraid to indulge and disclose a lot more openly what they are into and (much to my pleasure) seem more likely to openly admit being bi-curious.

I am fascinated to know why this is, so please tell me, what happens to men to open their minds in mid life? Btw I think it is a wonderful and very kinky thing so please don't be shy!

I think a major part of it is a sense that you are running out of time so some of the filters come off.